Im Self Undiagnosing Btw. Im Totally Fine Now And Everything That Happened To Me Is Actually Ok. In Fact

Alphabet soup and soulmates

*At the cafeteria*

Ace: Is that alphabet soup? For lunch?

Yuu: Yeah I'm gonna do some divination! I'll close my eyes, scoop a letter, and whatever letter that is, it's my soul mates first initials!

*There's a short period of silence as if the nearest tables heard what they said and stopped in their tracks*

Deuce: I don't think that's how divination works

Yuu: Let me just try! *Closes their eyes takes a spoonful of soup*

*Several spells hit the spoon at once from different angles, some even missing it's target, causing the bowl to explode and make a mess everywhere*

Yuu,covered in all the letters of the Alphabet: I'll be single forever

I love this so much!:)

crawl to the in-between (part 5/?)

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Imma be real with y'all, I got nothing after this chapter. There was supposed to be this whole struggle with MC having to decide whether to accept the brothers' new forms or not (veering into dark/yandere territory) but for now I'm just going to leave this as is. Unfinished fics are a pain but forcing words out is even more painful. I may revisit this if inspiration strikes in the future, but no promises :(

When you open your eyes again, you find yourself lying on your bed in the House of Lamentation.

You jerk upright and look around, but it's quickly apparent that you're alone. It feels like forever since you were last in here, what with the attack, Lucifer's quarantine, the portal that was supposed to send you home—

Not-Lucifer reaching for you, black sludge oozing out of his eyes and dripping from his gloved fingertips—

You shake your head, trying to snap your brain out of replaying that horrifying image. A quick glance around your room shows nothing out of place, and for the briefest moment you almost dare to hope that the past week and a half was all just a bad dream…

A sharp knock on the door makes you jump.

"Honey, are you awake?" Comes Asmo's melodious voice from the other side. "Breakfast is ready! I saved you a plate, but you better hurry before Beel gets to it~"

You hold your breath, half-expecting the demon to burst into your room with deformed features and extra limbs, but all you hear is Asmo cheerfully humming a tune before his footsteps fade away.

A minute passes, then two. Your stomach rumbles. You know you can't stay in here forever, not if you want answers, and especially not if you want to figure out how to turn your demons back to normal. On the off chance that Asmo and the twins were still okay, you could use all the help you can get.

The hallway is empty when you finally poke your head through the door. It's pitch black outside the windows, no surprise there. You take twice as long to make it to the dining room, treading carefully as though you've been sucked into another one of Levi's horror games, expecting jumpscares around every corner. You're almost surprised to reach your destination without so much as a scratch.

"There you are!" Asmo claps his hands in delight and pulls your chair out for you. His makeup is impeccable as always, not a trace of black to be seen. "I made one of your favorites today, so eat it allll up, okay?"

"Thanks Asmo." You take a seat, but your hands don't touch the neatly arranged cutlery. Across the table, Beel is scarfing down what looks like his fifth plate at this point, while Belphie is snoring into his pancakes. "How're you today?"

"I'm fabulous, thank you for asking!" He winks and blows you a kiss. So far so good—

Beel lets out a huge burp and wipes his mouth on a napkin. It leaves his lips with dark stains smeared all over it.

"Ha, I win." Belphie lifts his head with a smirk. The white tips of his hair have been dyed black.

"Aww honey, come back! I made those pancakes with love!" Asmo whines loudly but doesn't follow as you make a break for the foyer.

Black sludge drips down the windowpanes, obscuring any view of the outside world.

I am begging the FDA to require that companies CANNOT just put "spices" as an ingredient but have to label the spices.

"Spices" can mean "this has some oregano and black pepper in it" or it can mean "this has cumin cayenne and paprika and if you eat this you will be sick in bed in pain for a week" for me.

Seriously, this is an allergy issue and a huge oversight on the part of corporations.

Require detailed labeling of spices used in packaged foods NOW.

STOP IT I DO NOT NEED MORE CUTE LITTLE BUGS TO OBSESS OVER

Newborn velvet worm crawling on its mother By: Raymond A. Mendez From: Natural History Magazine 1985

Three!!!!!!

bungus

“i never see you at the club” ok well i never see you on ao3 at 2am reading about the same two bitches falling in love for the 1000th time in the 500th way

gummy lamas