Rooksforehead - Azul Ashen-Scam-Likely-grotto

honestly the discourse on this site is so bad that I have a new hot take: if you use tumblr at all fuck you

Malleus is great at Spelldrive. Fantastic even! So when he invited you, his Baby Sibling to watch one of his matches against Savanaclaw…

He was not expecting you to be rooting for the other team.

“KICK HIS ASS KINGSCHOLAR!” You shout from the benches, decked out in… Savanaclaw dorm merch??? Where did you get that?????

Leona glanced over at you and rolled his eyes, but there was no annoyance in it. In fact, he looked smug as hell over the fact you kept cheering for him instead of the lizard.

Malleus was ready to wipe his smirk clean off his face. Maybe if he showed off a bit, you would cheer for him.

Oh how wrong he was.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! RUGGIE GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!”

Ruggie wasn’t even insulted, he only laughed at the entertainment you were presenting him and the team. The whole Savanaclaw Spelldrive team were also finding amusement in the whole ordeal too. But there was an issue…

Malleus was becoming more aggressive with his moves.

Every goal he made, every maneuver he made was with purpose. That purpose?

To get your approval.

Leona would usually be getting annoyed or angry by the fact that his team was about to be beat by Malleus. But instead he also found amusement over the fact that he would get all butt hurt over his Dear Baby Sibling supporting a different team.

And he found an opening.

Just when Malleus was distracted by trying to impress you, Leona skillfully gets the disc in the goal.

“YAAAASSSSS!” You fist bump the air, screaming at the top of your lungs.

This went on for two hours.

Once the match ended (it was a tie) Leona flew over to you on his broom. He raised a brow as he looked at the poor outfit you picked out to support his Dorm. “I fully support this, but I am curious… why suddenly cheer for our team? You just upset your Dear Big Brother.”

You cross your arms and let out a huff. “Horton needs to be taken down a few pegs.” Leona gives you a look. “… also he pissed me off.”

“Elaborate.”

“He ate the pint of ice cream I was saving for myself!”

You could hear Ruggie wheezing in the background from overhearing that. Leona’s shoulder shake a bit and he tries to contain his own laughter.

Meanwhile just across the field, Malleus was currently pressing his forehead against the Spelldrive goalie. Lilia snickers as he watches the young fae try to find an answer on why his own dear baby sibling would root for the other team!

Malleus was sulking like this for the next 30 minutes. You had to go down and get him.

“You didn’t support me…”

“Are you really going to continue being butt hurt over this?” You cross your arms as you stared at him.

Malleus just pouts as he finally lifts his head away from the goalie post. He looks over at you, his pout clearly written all over his face. You couldn’t help but snort.

“You laugh at my pain?”

“Hey, you did this. If you hadn’t eaten my ice cream I wouldn’t be supporting Leona and his team.”

Malleus pauses as he looks down at you. “You supported someone else because I upset you?”

You shrugged, “Call it me being petty.”

Malleus couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as he ruffles your hair. You let out a groan from the action.

“I promise to never do such a thing again to upset you.”

“You better! I spent so much just for that small pint! If it was Grim, I maybe would have forgiven him. But you! You know better!”

“I’ll buy you a new one. I’ll buy you as many pints of ice cream as you like.”

The Spelldrive game today ended in a tie, but Malleus felt like the winner knowing that his Dear Baby Sibling wasn’t upset with him.

Two weeks later, Malleus and his dorm went against Heartslabyul…

You were decked out in Heartslabyul merch, and Malleus had to figure out what he did this time to upset you.

awww

Malleus being so friendless that he only ever messages Yuu. And since he's a lovestruck puppy, his SMS writing style eventually evolves from a formal, executive style, to an overly sweet and concerned softie type of tune both from mimicking Yuu's text lingo and from being generally just soft for them.

Which proves to be a bit of a problem when he messages other people.

🐉, to the Housewardens group chat: "Sorry. 🥺(⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) I'm running late today because we had to fix the dorm toilets. 😞 Lilia had too much tacos for dinner. 🤭 ╮⁠(⁠＾⁠▽⁠＾⁠)⁠╭"

🦁: "Wtf? What a terrible day to have eyes. And a brain."

💀: "kekw cursed wwwww 草"

🦦: "It's 👌🏽ok Malleus! Take ur time ☺️☺️☺️"

🌹: "Yuu?"

🐉: "No Rosehearts, this is Malleus. ☺️👍🏻"

👑: "You do NOT smile like that."

🐙: "Malleus, if you need plumbing services, Mostro Lounge offers it for a reasonable price! We also have top-grade diarrhea potions available that we can offer for a bargain, in case all of Diasomnia needs it. But to be absolutely certain this does not happen again, we can cater special tacos for your dorm with special considerations for stomachs that aren't accustomed to strong spices! Please DM me for more."

🐉: "Ashengrotto, what is a DM? (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

i feel like a lot of discourse around identities could just be boiled down to “you could not pay me to care about this”

are you autistic and gay?

lesbian and autistic perhaps?

an autistic pan or bisexual?

asexual and autistic?

trans or non binary and autistic?

any autistic member of the LGBTQ+ community?

well guess what...

you're fucken great and I love you

me at this point of the year, reacting to any bad news