I’m, Like, Probably The Weirdest Guy In The Universe, You Know? Probably Even Weirder Than Someone

the signs as andrew jackson jihad lyrics

aries: i hate everything you do but i'm trying really hard to not hate you because hating you won't make you suck any less

tarus: rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you, rejoice despite this world will tear you to shreds, rejoice because you're trying your best

gemini: the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night

cancer: i am a blank page in a notebook waiting to be filled with countless drawings of cocks

leo: i like telling dirty jokes, and i like smoking crystal meth, but darling i love you

virgo: you don't know your own power, you don't know what you're worth, you don't recognize your valor, and until you do, nothing you do will matter

libra: i would finally meet my maker, i could meet the great creator, and i'd punch him for teaching me how to sing

scorpio: in this life we lead, we could conquer everything, if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning

sagittarius: hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping

capricorn: in fucking fact, mrs. robinson, the world won't care whether you live or die

aquarius: i wish i had a bullet big enough to kill the fucking sun, i'm sick of songs about the summer, and i hate everyone

pisces: i'll never fix your car, or find you another dead end job, so let's lay on this carpeted floor and draw with crayons

95% of all white trash families have a little bratty kid named Bubba