Can't Wait To See If Toby Fox Accounted For The Fact That I Downloaded Spamton But Never Put Him Into

For me, the Spawn ending means trying again to live a normal life, after a long Depression, while the Ascension is a complete break—a total "I don't care about anything anymore." Like a golden shot.

That's why the Ascension feels like a form of salvation, like an absolute surrender of oneself. Kind of: I do what I want, I don't worry about anything anymore. In contrast, the Spawn ending means experiencing things like friendship again. love, but therefore responsibility.

A total end vs a new beginning.

Both is tempting tbh

_Its time to try living again

_I feel alive

Since I joined the fandom, I’ve been told, repeatedly, that Astarion was evil in the past, evil when you meet him, and will be evil at the end of the game—whether he remains a vampire spawn or not. No good ending, no redemption for him; because it’s not like he suddenly becomes a saint!

Essentially, he’s talked about as if he were a monolith. Static. Unmoving. Frozen in place.

Well, at this point, I feel the need to say how I see it.

First of all, the concept of the corrupt magistrate is outdated—it doesn’t exist in the game. Maybe it was an early draft of his background that was later scrapped. But in the actual game, there’s no mention of it—no character, no note, no book, not a single thing that references this.

And given how important that detail would be for his characterization, I don’t see why Larian wouldn’t have included it, even as an offhand remark.

What we do know about Astarion before becoming Cazador’s vampire spawn is that he was a magistrate, and that the Gur beat him to death over a law he had passed against them. That’s it.

Personally, I think this ties into his previous position of privilege, prejudice, and the fact that he was likely a tedious, meticulous, and inflexible magistrate—but ultimately, that’s just my own inference based on scattered dialogues.

The truth is, the Gur could have been wrong.

We’ll never know!

Just like we’ll never know what color his gorgeous eyes were before they turned red.

Now, I’m going to shift to a slightly more technical perspective—but I promise I won’t go overboard!

The Astarion from Act 1 cannot be the same Astarion at the end of the game, regardless of whether he ascends or not.

And here’s why.

In basic screenwriting, we talk about a character’s transformation arc. If there is no change, there is simply no story—because the character would be nothing more than a rubber figure on whom events, decisions, and other characters bounce off without leaving a trace. It wouldn’t be engaging, nor would the character have any real drive to act.

This is a vast topic that I won’t go into in detail, but if you’re interested, just type character arc into a search engine, and you’ll find a whole world of information.

Do you think stories and characters are written purely by feeling? There are countless manuals that explain the rules of good storytelling. (Dara Marks, considered the best American story editor, formulated the rules outlined in her renowned manual, Inside Story: The Power of the Transformational Arc.)

And characters follow writing principles—Astarion included. And creating a believable character while following these rules is really complicated—so every time someone says that Astarion is a monolith, somewhere, a screenwriter dies.

It’s just not possible, folks—there’s no chance that Astarion stays exactly the same throughout the entire story. He has to grow. Or regress.

Either way, he cannot remain unchanged; otherwise, The Pale Elf narrative arc wouldn’t exist.

It’s the fundamental rule of storytelling—straight from the rulebook.

Now, let’s clarify the concept of redemption a bit.

In religion, redemption is the forgiveness or absolution of sins and protection from damnation and misfortune, whether eternal or temporary. The Catholic Act of Contrition is a profound and meaningful prayer, considered the first step toward redemption. It allows believers to express their repentance and willingness to change after committing a sin.

From here, the term has come to be used in a more general sense to refer to the attainment of physical or moral freedom through liberation from guilt and sources of unhappiness.

In a literal sense, however, redemption means salvation, remedy, or escape.

So, yes, the vampire spawn ending is a redemption arc—not because Astarion suddenly becomes a saint, for god’s sake, but because he faces his past, everything he has done up until that moment and the people he has harmed, and does so as a hero, sacrificing himself for the greater good.

(Yes, one could debate whether releasing 7,000 starving vampire spawn into the world is truly the greater good, but within the context of the game, its setting, and Astarion’s narrative arc, it is.

Wyll—the group's hero and a monster hunter—explicitly says, "They are victims just like you, Astarion. They deserve freedom too."

Many of the good-aligned companions also disapprove of their extermination, and depending on their oath, even a Paladin Tav/Durge can break their vow and become an oathbreaker if they choose to kill them all.

So, the game itself strongly suggests that freeing them is the most humane and morally right choice—especially for Astarion.)

So, to summarize, it is a redemption arc because Astarion takes responsibility and atones for his actions, for his sins. He acknowledges the harm he has caused and repents, embraces the pain of others beyond his own, and gives them the freedom that he himself had once taken from them.

That’s what redemption means, not that he becomes a saint by the end of the game.

Not only that, but Astarion also makes peace with the Gur, who will stop hunting him—not out of laziness, but because he has proven that he has changed, that he has grown, and that he is no longer a threat to innocent people. (And they also accept the release of the spawn, despite being monster hunters—take note!)

It’s no coincidence that Astarion tells his brothers and sisters that they can choose between being parasites hiding in the shadows or something more than what Cazador created them to be.

But either way, the consequences will be on their heads—because actions and choices have weight.

And you reap what you sow.

And here, I’ll take a small detour, because the first person to bring up the concept of redemption is actually Ulma, with her words: "But it would be a start—you could still be redeemed."

She later reinforces this idea in one of the most powerful scenes in the game, when—after the ritual and Astarion’s absolutely heart-wrenching explanation of why he took the decision away from them regarding their own children—she tells him: "I never thought a vampire spawn could find redemption… but yes, you will no longer be hunted."

Of course, Astarion is still a vampire. He still has instincts and needs. He likes hunting, killing, and yes, instilling fear. A little, as he puts it.

The difference is that instead of doing it indiscriminately, he directs his attention toward criminals, toward those who harm others. Just like the Emperor.

Even Karlach Mind Flayer redirects her hunger toward a specific category of people—ones who might even appreciate her intervention.

It’s called killing two birds with one stone.

And here I return to the technical side of storytelling—Astarion’s transformational arc is complete, and at this point, he falls into the archetype of the anti-hero: a protagonist in a story who may lack some of the traditional hero’s qualities, such as idealism, courage, and morality.

Typically, an antihero is a rebellious or tormented character with clearly negative traits who often employs questionable methods. However, they should not be mistaken for a villain, as they do not fully descend into evil or possess enough heroic qualities to earn the audience’s sympathy.

However, considering the general setting—where even heroes kill as if there’s no tomorrow and punish villains with brutality—just look at Selûne’s demigoddess daughter, Lady Aylin—I don’t see anything strange or horrific about feeding on criminals.

Quite the opposite.

To conclude, the concepts I’ve mentioned are not something I made up from scratch—they’ve existed for ages.

Astarion’s evil ending is clearly ascension, which, following the rules of good storytelling, still adheres to a transformational arc compared to Act 1 Astarion.

By extension, Act 1 Astarion is different from both the Ascendant Vampire and the Vampire Spawn in the final outcome. The monolithic character does not exist in any story worthy of being called one. And Baldur's Gate 3 is a masterpiece of writing.

Radiant Hopeful

Just a personal post about my experience on this site

The only social media I’ve ever really used my whole life has been YouTube and Pinterest, and I only joined Tumblr a few months ago because my sibling encouraged me to. The internet has always kind of been an overwhelming place for me; too many people, too many ideas. And I used to get really insecure when interacting with or even perceiving fandom. I struggled a lot with the feeling of “I really love this piece of media/character, and the fact that other people love it too makes me feel like it’s somehow an intrusion upon my profoundly personal connection with this thing” (thankfully I've mostly grown out of that). Online spaces made the world feel too big and me feel too small. Maybe a part of the reason I joined Tumblr was to combat that. I often felt a little like the odd one out in that the internet was never this place of community and connection for me like it is for so many others. I’ve always just felt overwhelmed by it. Now, I’ve curated a nice little corner of the internet for myself, although I do have to keep things in check sometimes and not overwhelm myself through overexposure to content.

Since joining the site and creating this blog, I’ve learned a lot. I have a lot of bad days when I second-guess my wording in every post I make (which I know is silly, because I just make fandom content and random stuff that only a few people will ever see, so the stakes are incredibly low, but anxiety doesn’t care). I have days where the world still feels too big and it's overwhelming to look at posts. But I’ve also begun to learn to express myself more, and that’s vital for me, especially as an autistic person learning to unmask more in my daily life. It feels silly to say that being on this site has been a rollercoaster, but that’s the truth of how I feel. This whole experience has forced me to confront my issues with self-expression, my relationship with external validation and people-pleasing, rejection-sensitive dysphoria, and figuring out healthy self-regulation. Again I feel very silly saying all this about Tumblr of all things. But it’s true.

That's not even to mention how freeing and encouraging it has felt to see how shamelessly people express themselves on here. It's a landscape of radical self-expression, fearless passion, and a kind of transparency I haven't really seen anywhere else. As someone who has repressed myself all my life and am doing the work to unmask more... I can only look on in awe. It's nothing short of inspiring and beautiful, in all it's unfiltered, deranged glory. Thank you to all the people who are openly unhinged on here, because it makes this a safe space for everyone else to express themselves, too. I aspire to that.

All this has also shown me that people are much kinder than I always expect them to be. People here listen to what I have to say, and most are so encouraging and welcoming. Having a few mutuals who always at least like my posts makes me feel… seen. Like I exist and someone else cares at least enough to take a second to give a little positivity. (Shout out to my very kind mutuals. You all always brighten my day when we get to chat in the comments. It genuinely means a lot to me). Not to be too vulnerable, but I've always struggled a lot to make friends, and while I may not be there yet, it’s been lovely to connect with anyone at all. Just getting to like and comment on other people’s posts feels like a nice bit of socialization in my day, however small it may be. It's really encouraging. Makes me feel more human, I suppose.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I went outside my comfort zone in joining this site, and really realized that (shockingly) going outside your comfort zone does in fact lead to growth. That is, when you don’t push too far and end up overwhelmed. I’m looking forward to growing more. Making posts about things I care about, or just nonsense. Writing fanfiction. Being feral about bg3 and other art I love. It’s all really been pushing me in a good way. Maybe someone else relates.

The fun thing about the fact that the only visual fanart creations I'm any good at are sewing and needlefelt is that I have to figure out how to turn grown people characters into fluffy little guys.

Astarion and Vanity

Spoilers for all of Astarion’s story through all acts of BG3. As always, this is just my interpretation and thoughts on the character from what I know, so feel free to disagree.

I feel that Astarion’s expression of vanity is a part of him that gets misread a lot. It’s something that is pointed to as one of his negative traits as though this vanity of his is sincere. Personally, I think his outward obsession with his own looks and charm is anything but shallow, and is yet another example of how his life experience and trauma has shaped him. 

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder (ha), and for the sake of this mild analysis, I’m going to be defining beauty as conventional physical attractiveness. The main point is that Astarion in-game is treated as being very attractive, so that’s how I will treat him in this conversation. Beauty can be a form of power; one Astarion was very clearly blessed with. While all the main companions in the game are designed to be rather attractive, for Astarion, this goes beyond simply wanting to appeal to the player and is not incidental. In my opinion, Astarion’s looks are crucial to his character. 

To briefly summarize what we all know about Astarion, he was thoroughly and systematically stripped of his autonomy and identity by Cazador. He was forced to adopt an incredibly narrow worldview of essentially: power = freedom = safety (simplified, of course). Throughout the game, he makes choices that slowly shape and are shaped by the man he’s becoming. By the end of the spawn route, he’s still only just beginning to really discover himself. This all is crucial to the heart of his character and influences all his actions. 

Given his hollow sense of identity, Astarion clings to certain traits which he parades around, making sure everyone knows these things about him. The most prominent of those traits being hedonism, sadism, selfishness, and vanity. In this post, I’m going to be focusing on the last item, though I do have a post on learned cruelty that delves into the trait of sadism in the context of his identity. The pattern here is that these traits are masks that serve to make him feel in-control of both himself and those around him. 

While Astarion may seem terribly vain, his appearance to others is actually a very deep-seated, sensitive issue that genuinely affects him. The infamous mirror scene may come across to some as him being shallow, at first, but really he’s right in what he said; his reflection is just one more thing that was taken from him, and it’s completely fair that he is angry and grieves. But this is also significant to him beyond the fact of its injustice, or the symbolism of reflection as identity. Let’s dive a little into his psyche, and guess at how he sees himself and the world: He’s spent the past 200 years being valued exclusively for his ability to bring back prey for Cazador and perform sexually. This equates to his charm and his body. After two centuries of being degraded and stripped of everything, and only ever getting any kind of positive reinforcement, praise, or acknowledgement for your looks and seductiveness, of course he’d begin unconsciously tying his sense of self-worth to his appearance. By Cazador, he was turned into a tool and a toy. By his targets, he was objectified. Dehumanized from both sides in different ways, and again, only valued for his body and whatever sweet words he could spin. This leaves him with his self-worth very profoundly tied to his appearance to others, as I said.

I imagine he had two main types of targets when under Cazador’s thrall: starry-eyed, naive folks who were swept off their feet, and more predatory characters who took advantage of an easy offer. The former were probably the only source of genuine positive attention he ever got for those 200 years, even if it was shallow. Since he cannot find self-affirmation by looking into a mirror, he finds new mirrors in the eyes of those who look upon him. His beauty is reflected in their hunger, their lust, their admiration, their bashfulness, their envy. Is it any wonder that now he flaunts himself, always making comments about how good he looks? If he doesn’t get an affirmative response, then at least it's his way of reassuring himself. Telling himself that he’s still valuable in the only way he knows how to assess his value. “I don’t need a reflection to know this looks fabulous”, he tells himself. This is why he makes so many seemingly vain comments. Why he’s so concerned with being done-up and looking good. Why he has spent so much time mending his clothes so he looks every bit the part of the dashing elven rogue. 

Speaking of his clothes, this is another way he’s clinging to his autonomy and identity even through all his years of torment. His clothes were probably one of the only things he was ever allowed to have. When you have so little, of course you’ll care for it, hence why the flavor text  for both his shirt and armor mention how his clothes are worn, but have been repaired many times by a careful hand. During those years under Cazador, it probably brought him a small sense of control to be able to mend and embroider his own clothes; the only things which he felt belonged to him, more so than his own body. Something familiar that gave him a sense of security and self. (This is why I adore the idea of him becoming a tailor after the story, because it's giving him a healthy outlet of personal expression and creating something that's entirely his own. Hobbies can be crucial to cultivating one's identity and self-esteem, and we all want that for him). Not to mention that Cazador probably would not have taken kindly to his spawn not looking their best, and that's probably a "rule" Astarion carried with him even into freedom.

I think the mirror scene is a lot more than him just seeking validation and showing us a glimpse into this part of his mind, though. It’s also about him genuinely trying to evaluate how the player character sees him, and shows how he’s trying to figure out his new identity in freedom, but that’s its own discussion for another time. I just think that it’s unfair for people to call him vain or shallow for caring about his reflection and appearance so much, when that’s all he was ever taught to value in himself.

 The only other significant way we see Astarion valuing himself is through his skills as a rogue, with his constant cocky comments about how easy it is for him. While this too is a form of external validation born of valuing himself for what he can do rather than what he is, it’s still a positive thing for him. The game doesn’t really address all this, but in my mind, him getting to make use of his skills and be valued as a part of a group that needs him is probably really good for his self-esteem at this point in his life. 

All of this to say, I don’t think it’s fair to cast judgement on him for being “vain”, given everything we know about him. There is a big difference between him and someone who genuinely sees the world through a shallow and judgmental lens. For him, his mask of vanity is a symptom of his pain and twisted worldview rather than something rotten born of privilege and a superiority complex. His self-aggrandizement is a necessary part of the narrative he’s building for himself: the vampire spawn who would ascend. Again, desperate to convince himself and those around him that he both wants and deserves this, even as his crooked worldview is being chipped away by genuine kindness and connection. This understanding of his mind shows why it’s so important to him that we see and love him for who he actually is, not just his charm and beauty. His heart is beautiful in an entirely different way that outshines his physical features, even if he himself doesn't see it. The hope is that, with his friends and perhaps partner at his side, he’ll learn to value himself for his own heart and soul; for the person he’s becoming as he gathers up the pieces of his identity. To see the light he holds within him that endured those centuries of darkness. Until the mirrors stop mattering.

The fun thing about being autistic and very emotional/hyperempathetic is that you can get overstimulated by your own emotions. Especially when hyperfixating on something. Currently I cannot even look at my favorite character without being overwhelmed because they bring up too many emotions. In other news I'm very normal and fine.

I've already spent too much time messing around in photo mode. I'm not very good at it but here are some of my favorite shots of Astarion and my Tav (River) getting to just relax and have a wholesome time for once. It's making me want to write about them.

Not me scheduling the day I'll finish BG3 because i know the post-game depression is going to wreck me for a good few days

Absolutely. As much as I love dramatic romance, I think there's a beautiful subtlety to Astarion's romance storyline. This slow-burn relationship where he only really, truly confesses his love with confidence after defeating Cazador would feel cheapened if he just suddenly flipped a switch into calling us his soulmate or something. Although I believe that he probably feels more strongly than he's willing to admit, as is typical of him. He's not exactly the best at putting his vulnerable feelings into words. I also *love* that, like you said, the playfulness in this comment of his shows a comfort and equality in the relationship. He's not a lovestruck puppy who worships the ground we walk on; he's an equal partner. That's important for any romance story, but especially his, I think.

I swear, this is why I love this game (and Astarion in particular) so much. We can sit here and talk about a single line of dialogue and pick apart all the layers. It's beautiful.

“What are we to you?”

“Nothing special, of course. You're only the first person who I truly care for.”

While this is not that perfectly quotable bon mot you can slap on a t-shirt, so far it's my personal favourite when it comes to spawn Astarion dialogues. (Still a few quests away from finishing the game, but slowly getting there!)

If the player hoped that after hours of hearing I don't know. But isn't it nice not to know? (which I also adore) they'll get something more definite and old-school romantic, they were wrong. (Well, maybe not wrong; the cemetery scene is still there, both touching and heartwrenching.)

What do we get instead? Astarion’s trademark sarcasm. A dramatic sigh followed by an annoyed Nothing special, of course. As in: Tav, do you really need to ask such stupid questions? Do you really need me to spell it out for you?

And I mean, casually calling your loved one ‘nothing special’ right into their face? If you can allow yourself a joke like this and you both laugh, you know you're in a place of comfort.

You're only the first person who I truly care for – yet, a confession follows, and again, I appreciate the just right mixture of quip, candour and informality. No lofty professions of undying love, thank the gods. Astarion’s body language is delicious, too. That motion as if he’s playfully tapping Tav on the arm? But I especially love the cheeky smile as he glances to the side. He’s such an adorable rascal during this dialogue.

The whole line is punctuated by Astarion clearing his throat. I’ve seen someone write it’s a telltale sign of him being genuine. Perhaps there's a tiny hint of self-consciousness, too, because he’s so much more used to all those fake, turgid pick-up lines.

No worries, Astarion, you're doing great. Please don't ever lose that smart mouth of yours.

Have I just written a small wall of text about a single line of dialogue? Quite possibly, yes.