Everything Reminds Me Of You

One of the reasons why most of us are depressed is because we fail to live upto the expectations of people.

Reason to Live #3721

 To get the future I want. To meet the future I have planned.  – Guest Submission

(Please don’t add negative comments to these posts.)

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself. When you are born a lotus flower, be a beautiful lotus flower, don't try to be a magnolia flower. If you crave acceptance and recognition and try to change yourself to fit what other people want you to be, you will suffer all your life. True happiness and true power lie in understanding yourself, accepting yourself, having confidence in yourself.

— Thích Nhất Hạnh

i made some twitter headers

A Letter I Will Never Send

This is not a love letter.

This is me pouring out my love, not the kind you think of, the mushy gushy romanticized crap you want. No, this is raw, unadulterated affection for you and your soul.

For the purposes of this letter, I am going to disregard the fact that you are ignoring me and that we do not talk anymore. That is irrelevant. We have both argued, screamed, apologized, and cried to each other too many times to count. Even if we did still talk, I would be saying this to you, maybe in different words, but telling you all the same.

Since the very first day we became friends, you have been a constant in my life, a constant amidst the tumult and drama of high school. You listened to me and offered advice with your perspective that is so opposite mine. I love the way you live in the moment and risk the superficial things that I hold dear. Being your friend made me come to the profound realization that life is so much more than turning in homework on time and getting straight As. Because of you, if a friend needs me the night before a paper is due, I will be there for my friend (hopefully I wrote the paper ahead of time).

You were the glue that held my life together when I was on the brink of destruction. Everything in my world was falling apart, but you and your friendship remained. I took that for granted. You taught me the value of true friendship, even if it does not last. I hope that I meant something to you, that I somehow repaid in part what you had given to me in full.

To this day, I still look for you in the hallways and listen for your voice among the tenors in choir. Even when we see each other or talk, it is all superficial. We barely graze the surface of what once existed.

I hate superficiality.

After three years, how could we, how could I, throw it all away?

Losing your friendship has been a process more painful than any breakup. It feels as if someone has taken a part of me; there is a hole in my soul where you once were. As if the physical pain was not enough, the process of emotional detachment from you has been long and rocky. After weeks without thinking of you, a single song or a memory or a Bible verse makes me recall how much I care for you, still, after all this time.

You know more about me than any other person on this earth. And even though you leave me behind, you will carry pieces of me with you forever. Treasure them. I do not regret giving them to you, for I trust you will keep those pieces of me safe.

Life is too short to be silent about the ones we love. The other day, I was thinking about the people I will miss most in college, and as much as I love my friends, I will miss you the most. I already miss you. I suppose our separation is merely a preparation for what is to come.

This is not a cry for you to come back to me, nor an invitation for a pity party on my behalf. We both know that “us” would never have worked in our favor. I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me, and how much pain I am enduring as you ignore my snapchats and avoid eye contact. But still, this is not me trying to guilt you or regain your attention.

This is me telling you that I love you. Not as a boyfriend or as a lover or even as a friend. I love you as a person. You are so extraordinarily special, and I am blessed to have spent so much time with you as my best friend. I wish it did not have to end.

But alas, all good things come to an end, right?

honestly just holding your hand would make me hella happy

— a lovely kind thing

i think we’re all guilty of hurting someone that we used to care about. but nothing lasts forever, not even the bad. i can’t sit here in forever and keep apologizing for things that i am no longer capable of feeling or doing. i think it’s a growing up thing. i think it’s a you didn’t know yourself thing. i think it’s a she didn’t know where to find love thing. i think it’s a he didn’t have time to make her happy thing. i think it’s a selfish thing, i think it’s a we’ve become too dependent on this drug called love thing. i can’t spend my days in eternal anguish because of the things that i’m no longer capable of doing or feeling. words come easy if they mean nothing, so i’ve been saying less and listening more. i wish i would’ve done that when you were still around. hearts wear and tear too, just like a smile that is too unbearably heavy to keep up everytime we’re asked if we’ve been okay. darling, i’ve seen better. we all love a good ending, but the reality of things is it doesn’t always end well. that’s expectations and assumptions, swallow up your pride and say you’re sorry. if you hurt the right person, you’ll spend the rest of your life picking up the pieces because how you love someone is just an extension of how you’d love yourself. i think that’s the secret. to love someone properly, to remember when you first met this person and how anxious you were about making a good first impression. how did we get here? i think it’s an addiction kind of thing. i think it’s a silly habit sort of thing. to want to love, but to not know what to do when it’s crying right in front of your face and you’re telling them to stop because it’s all that they do. i think it’s a i never listened type thing. so i’ve been listening to my future lovers and i’ve been imagining that every time i open my arms and pull them in, that every tear drop i’ve dried on my shoulders— every single apology being accepted kind of thing. my way to love right and grow better kind of thing. here’s to the lovers out there whose hurting that one person they’re going to regret forever kind of sentence, just listen to them and be quiet every now and again. it’ll do wonders.

queens

A happy meal 🍔 🍟 💗

i want to live in a world where it’s relatable to be happy and loved instead of sad and broken.

shelby leigh (via nothingwithoutwords)

"و لو أن إبليس يومًا رآكِ، لقبل عينيك ثم اهتدى"

"And if the devil were to see you, he would kiss your eyes and repent"

-farouq gouida