Who Wants To Come Over And Just Like. Come To My Backyard With Me And Then Just. Scream. For Three Hours.

A story in four parts.

It's hard being an INFJ

(Note: may not relate to all INFJs)

We are rare and of course that is something to be proud of and sure we always make people happy but… doesn’t mean we are always happy.

We are known as old souls because of multiple reason. We are loners, we love learning… etc. It’s hard for us to make friends. Sure we like to solve other people’s problems but, we find it difficult to find someone who understands US and the problems WE face.

I have faced where I want to meet other people although I am shy because I always felt whenever I talk to someone that… I guess it’s as if they don’t understand. I always felt like I was on a searching hunt for a friend who relates to me. My best friend is a ENFP which are total opposites which makes us the best of friends and although I have her as my BFF, I always end up feeling alone and alienated in this world.

Another thing is, when I have feelings about something, they are deep. If I am sad, I cry until I cannot shed anymore tears and sometimes I end up getting a bloody nose from crying so hard. If I get mad, I would scream and shout if I could but, one thing I do is that I never show it in public. I always held in my emotions and waited until I was in a place where I could be alone so I could express that emotion.

Apparently there is this thing called “The INFJ Door Slam” and as I read of it, I found it to be true. If a person keeps hurting my emotions, I won’t be able to stand it and I admit, I wish I was stronger enough to tolerate it. Instead we try to confront the person about the problem and if they won’t listen, BAM! Instant door slam meaning, I cut all ties from that person to feel no more emotional pain and the reason why I say it’s true is because I have faced that first handedly.

I hate attention. Like, I guess I just want some friends who will just appreciate what I do but, I don’t expect this whole festival for me as they do this dancing ceremony for me. A nice thank you would be enough. I don’t know about the other INFJ’s but I get very awkward around people who give me presents. Like, I do appreciate it but, I always have the urge of thinking that I have to give them a gift back to thank them for the gift they gave me. It’s a confusing cycle.

Another thing, I enjoy being alone instead of an awkward situation and I am very independent but, at the same time, I want to have people in my live that makes me not so lonely and work together with them.

I know that I am the type of person that thinks. I would just stare off and think of all this stuff I never got a chance to think about. A lot of people, when they talk to me, find me more mature for my age. When they first meet me, they think may think I am a few years older then I am (between 2-5 year difference) and then I tell them and complete shock runs through their face. It’s mainly because as a teen, they would never imagine a teenager talking about. For example, everyone I see dates around me. Although I find it adorable, I have no interest in dating at this age because a) I view that I am too young to date and too… I guess too naive to start dating and getting to know someone I might want to marry when I have the difficulty on understanding myself let alone add another person on that plate of emotional reck b) dating is more of getting to know that person to see if you both are… I guess compatible for marriage and I am not ready for any of that like how I said in point a. I would list more but, I’m pretty sure you get the point…

Yeah… that’s some of the things… I don’t think I hit all but, it was me expressing something as a INFJ faces everyday.

reckoner, take me with you

quinn hughes + reckoner by radiohead

felt this on a spiritual level

Being a psych major is a wild combination of learning about interesting topics, people trauma dumping in class, and still getting so much work about burnout that you get burned out.

Do you know how much it sucks? Losing a best friend? Like actually losing your other and better half? Losing someone you talked to every day, all the time? Someone you looked forward to talking to regardless of what it was, even if it was a fight? Losing someone you gave everything to, to the point where I have nothing else to give anyone else, when the other person can’t even give you the time of day? Losing the person you’d spend every day with if you could? The one person that made you smile. The person that hurt you a million times, over and over, but you still forgave them and would do it all over again if given the chance. The person you do give anything just to see them more time.

Do you really know?

The things she says that sounds like ‘I love you’ without saying it.

“And so I pray for you. Because, that’s all I can do now.”

— تغ

Five Feet Apart is sooo heartbreaking :(

“I told you don't lose your dream for me,” I whispered.

“You are the dream, Luna...” — Kalix

The Rain in España by 4reuminct