Tips For Living Alone

TIME OUT! I called time out!

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

Reading Pile Pt. 5

Astro City Volume 09: Through Open Doors One of my favorite series! I've loved it since it began in the '90s. This volume collects the 1st six issues from when the series moved from Image to DC/Vertigo. Contains what is probably my favorite Astro City story ("On The Sidelines"). Highly recommend. DC/Vertigo - Hardcover $24.99, Softcover $16.99

Booster Gold Volume 01: The Big Fall Collects the first 12 issues of the 1980s series. This was one of the first DC books I got into when I started collecting (mainly because it had just started) and I loved it then. Rereading it now... it's not that good. Don't get me wrong, it's not bad. There a lot of great ideas in this series. It was one of the first comics to tackle the "super-hero as superstar" idea (in modern parlance, he'd probably be considered an influencer). But this is clearly a first effort by Dan Jurgans. There are hints of the writer he'll become though. Plus the art is good. DC Comics - Hardcover $39.99 (Out Of Print), Kindle $9.99

Jessica Jones: Pulse, The Complete* Collection When Alias (the comic) came to an end, Brian Bendis pretty much stated that he had told all of the stories he could under the Max label, mainly because there were characters Marvel wouldn't let him use in an "adult" book. The concept is, after having helped him find his adoptive daughter (during the Alias series), J. Jonah Jameson hires Jessica to be a consultant for a weekly supplement on super-heroes (called "The Pulse"). Since she's pregnant and needs the health insurance, she takes the job. * - While called "The Complete Collection", it is actually missing issue #10 which was a House Of M crossover issue and focused on Hawkeye and didn't have Jessica in it at all. It does include New Avengers (2005) Annual #1, the issue where Jessica & Luke get married. Marvel - Softcover $34.99 (Out of print), Kindle $8.99

My Heroes Have Always Been Junkies: A Criminal Novelette I love the Brubaker/Phillips line of books ("Kill Or Be Killed" being my favorite), but this one didn't hit for me. Not bad, it just didn't grab me as their stories usually do. The story takes place in a rehab center. That is until Elle decides she's had enough of the place and convinces Skip to join her in escaping. The story then follows the two teens as they rob stores & fall in love. There is a nice twist ending though. Image - Hardcover $16.99, Softcover $12.99 (both out of print), Kindle $10.99

The Recent Realization That Completely Took Me By Surprise

“I’ve made the decision.  I’m giving up on dating.”

I made this proclamation to a friend sometime in the very early 2000s.  I was tired of everything that went with dating, or trying to get dates, and had gotten to a point where I, quite frankly, just didn’t give a damn anymore.  I was happier being alone, relationship wise.

My friend scoffed at me, and as I told others, they did too.  But for the past (approximately) 14 years, that’s been the story.  There really was no one I actively wanted to date.

So it came as quite a shock to me when one night a couple of months ago, as I was out at a bar with a group of friends, it became clear to me that I really wanted to ask one of them out on a date.

[This, BTW, is not the realization this blog post is about.]

I did not react well to this.  Remember a few months ago when I was making Vaugebook posts about frustration and falling into old mental traps?  Well, now you know why.  I had so many questions I couldn’t answer.  Where did this come from?  Why was this suddenly happening?  I was happy not being in the dating scene, why would I suddenly want to screw that up?  Why her?  I didn’t really consider how she would feel.  I was 99% sure she wasn’t interested.  In fact, I think I would’ve been more worried if I asked her out and she actually said yes!

A week later, I travelled to New York City to visit a couple of friends of mine.  While there, I discussed my recent revealation.  They had become engaged a couple of weeks before, so I took their view of my situation with a huge grain of salt.

But as I spent the day with them, and watched them together, I became aware that I wanted exactly what they had.

That connection. That emotional bonding. That love.

[This, also, is not the realization this blog post is about.  Stay with me here.]

I got on the train home and began thinking about everything and every emotion, past and present; what had led me to where I had been and to where I was now.  And somewhere between Harlem and Greenwich, I discovered the truth.

The truth was that, during all those years, I had wanted to date.

I had wanted that connection. That bonding. That love.

The problem was, during that time and up until recently, I didn’t love myself.  Truth be told, I down right loathed myself for most of that time.  And because of that, I didn’t think I deserved to be loved by anyone.

So when I would meet a woman who I thought was special, I would think to myself, “Too bad I don’t want to date anyone”, and put it out of my mind.

This is the revelation this blog post is about.  The revelation that, “I don’t want to date anyone”, was really my brain’s way of saying, “You don’t deserve anyone’s love.”

And once I realized that, everything going on fell into place.

I love myself now. I’m ready to date. I’m ready to love someone else now.

But, most of all, I’m ready to accept that someone can love me the same way.

Weight loss update

Weight loss total: >75 pounds.  I don’t have an exact number because I was too big for my scale when I started.

Shirt size: down 2 sizes

Pants size: down 8 sizes

I’ve had to buy new underpants twice now because my old ones wouldn’t stay up anymore.  As problems go, this is not a bad one to have.

I would be lying if I said I’m not posting this to brag.  I am.  But I also post this in the hopes that someone will look at it and go, “If he can do it then so can I.”  I needed inspiration to get to this point, and I want to pass it on to someone else.

The Reading Pile Pt. 3

I'm now working exclusively on the graphic novels, as that pile has gotten waaaaaay too big.

Quantum & Woody: The Complete Series Omnibus I absolutely loved this series when it originally came out. There really wasn't anything like it out there, certainly not from a major publisher (and yes, at that time, Valiant/Acclaim was a major publisher). The book features an Odd Couple-style duo of "super-heroes", forced to be together. Each wears a control band that must be clanked together every 24 hours or they will die. Hilarity ensues. While there is a ton of humor, mainly in the different dynamic of the two characters and a bunch of fourth-wall breaking (the best being the 3 pages in the beginning of issue #4 where Quantum & Woody complain about all the graphic violence the book can get away with, but can't use naughty words), it can not be classified as a humor book, as there is many serious and dramatic situations throughout. The book stars Quantum as the Felix Unger of the group. He takes super-heroing earnestly. He's orderly and meticulous and serious. Woody, the Oscar Madison type, is his complete opposite. He doesn't take the super-hero lifestyle very seriously (the best being his insistence on taking elevators rather that climbing up & down the outside of buildings), is a slob and does everything chaotically. One of dynamics of the team is that Quantum & Woody are childhood friends who both grew up in rich, suburban Connecticut. Which is an issue for Quantum, who is African-American. The series, written and drawn by Christopher Priest and Mark "M.D." Bright (both of whom are also African-American) doesn't shy away from this. The biggest problem with the series is that there is a lot of "jokes" based on Quantum & Woody not being a gay couple. While this was okay-ish in the '90s, in the 2020s, it's just uncomfortable. It worse when at one point Woody goes on a 2 page rant about how all villains are secretly "in the closet" (though Woody doesn't use any terms that would be considered PC). Despite this, the series is still worth the read and I highly recommend it. Just... be prepared for the cringe. Valiant - HC cover price, $99.99 (Out of print) - Kindle, free with a Kindle Unlimited membership.

If a girl feels uncomfortable hanging out with you alone, and you get so offended by that, it makes you angry, she probably made the right choice.

I wonder how many chefs in medieval times were wrongfully executed because the king’s food tester had a deadly allergy.