You Don't Have To Be "good Enough" For The Right People. They Will Accept You As You Are. You Don't Have

It's exhausting and hurtful to have your every action perceived as if you had the worst intentions, even when you're trying your best to do good. It's what forces you to constantly fight to prove yourself, that you do things in good faith, that you're being honest, that you mean well, as if your actions don't already prove it.

And the thing is it never stops, no matter how hard you try to show your true qualities it's never good enough, you always have to try harder and then hear the lies about what you meant by it. It puts you in this magic loop with no escape, you are never understood clearly, you are never free. At one point you too start wondering if they're right, if your intentions are bad. You doubt yourself, you feel guilty for wanting to feel good about yourself.

Anyone doing this to you does not care for you. You don't deserve to be continually misrepresented and to have the value of your actions voided by someone thinking you should have done differently. You should not be brought to exhaustion trying to be good enough for people who do not care if they're being good to you. People who usually do this won't tolerate any bad intention ascribed to their actions, even when it clearly belongs there. They judge you on standards they would never impose on themselves.

It's so weird talking to people who's view of "here's the way life is for everyone" is shattered as soon as they talk to someone with disabilities (physical, mental illness, any). Like you'll say you'll have a problem and instead of helping you they'll argue with you about how you're not actually facing that problem. Like,

Me: Hey, I'm really struggling to find a job and a part of it is my resume. I was depressed & psychotic during highschool so I didn't do anything to gain skills or achievements to put on my resume. I also don't have anyone to put as a reference. What can I do?

Them: You can add your skills, hobbies, clubs you're in, and different volunteer work you've done! You can also get your teacher as a reference.

Me: I already know what to put on a resume, my issue is that I don't have things that I can use. Also, I'm in my mid 20s so I don't know if I can put my highschool teacher as a reference.

Them: Well if you're a part of a church or an activity group, you could add that. Also, think of any projects you've worked on in the past.

Me: I already know you can put these things on a resume. I'm not looking for suggests of things I've already done, I'm looking for what I can do now if I haven't done anything.

Them: There's no way you didn't do anything during highschool?? What about some odd jobs you definitely did for extra money, like babysitting or mowing the lawn?

Me: I spent all of highschool either in modified classes or in bed doing nothing - not even hobbies, what about that do you not understand?

And then you talk to someone who's also disabled and they're like "Here's a bunch of jobs you can do from home that don't pay much but look good on a resume, here's some free online courses that also look good on a resume, here's how you can be making small amounts of money in the meantime, here's some things you can put besides a professional reference, and here are your rights if your future employer tries to take advantage of your disability - which you probably shouldn't tell them about unless you need accommodations."

And suddenly my will to continue trying returns!

Hey runners (and walkers)! Thought this might be helpful :)

i know we joke about cis artists having the weirdest sense of anatomy, but also even when the anatomy is fine, no one seems to want to draw women doing normal things

Anyone can help!

(Real pen the last picture)

It is important for EVERYONE to know how to help ANYONE. Not everyone can give them selves their medicine under every circumstance. Be educated, help out.

In the last year, i have gotten about five new violent allergies from foods i used to be able to eat. Next time i eat a fruit, my throat could close. I may not be able to inject myself. My boyfriend and i played with my trainer pen for like 30 minutes. He knows how to inject it. I know how. This is important.

On Voting in America

So one of the most profound comments on routine chores that I've ever encountered was, hilariously, the Pickle Rick episode of "Rick & Morty," where (after a lot of shenanigans have already ensued) this therapist absolutely lays Rick out:

"I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is: it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work and some people, well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."

I think about this at least once a week — usually while I'm doing my laundry or sweeping or some other task that needs doing and won't get me anything more than clean clothing or a dog-hair-free floor. There's no Pulitzer for wiping down your microwave or scrubbing your toilet; no one's awarding you for getting all the dishes out of the sink. At best you have the satisfaction of crossing it off your list.

Voting is very much the same (and I'm talking about the US here, as an American). Sure, you sometimes get a sticker; but nobody's going to cheer for you. There's no adventure here, no potential for anything more than crossing something off of a list. It's a chore, something that needs doing in order to repair, maintain, and yes even clean. So I get why people don't like doing it.

And I've decided I don't give a shit.

Do it anyway. Your country takes astonishingly little from you — taxes, the once-in-a-blue-moon jury duty, and a theoretical draft that hasn't been used in over half a century and likely will never be again — but it asks you (asks! not requires! not demands!) to vote once a year. It's not always easy; especially in conservative states, the impediments to vote can be ridiculous. But it is once a year and unlike in our nation's all-too-recent past, you will not die if you do it.

In fact, the worst outcome from voting these days is that the person or issue that you vote for loses — but you won't know if they lose until after the election. Polls are less accurate now, for a whole host of reasons; you cannot know until after the election who or what will win. This makes your vote more valuable than possibly ever before.

Use that power. Not because it's exciting or even rewarding, but because your vote is what keeps our country's metaphorical teeth from falling out and our metaphorical ass from stinking.

Brush, wipe, vote.

Today is a wonderful day to remember that resting, taking care of yourself, and allowing yourself to become re-inspired and re-invigorated, is a vital and necessary part of the creative process!

“I don’t want to be a burden” you’re more like a relief, a gift, a blessing actually

hm. i think every time i feel an impulse to people please, to be unproblematic and likable and charming and feel the safety that comes with universal adoration, i need to remind myself that i want to be loved like a person, not like a dog.