One of the most healing things I’ve strove (striven?) to do in my life is viewing sex as just another thing people do, among a host of other things like eating and pooping and playing with cats.
Our entire society, feminists and puritans alike, pushes the idea that sex is uniquely powerful and dangerous, capable of inflicting The Worst Trauma or the Highest Fulfillment, and that’s…just flat out untrue. Other experiences can cause similar trauma: violence, disasters, war, instability. Other experiences can result in transcendent pleasure: trance states, live music, non-sexual intimacy, tattoos.
I think this is where the disconnect in perception about sex positivity comes from, because the phrase itself makes people who already view sex as being uniquely powerful think sex positivity means viewing sex as uniquely good, when actually…it’s mostly about taking sex off that pedestal. Normalizing sex. Making it into just another thing people do. Because that’s the first step in making sure people can engage with sex on their own terms in a healthy way.
Taking sex off its cultural pedestal was the thing that allowed me to overcome the deeply-instilled shame I developed from being raised within Christian purity culture, and from being queer, and from existing as a woman. I think a failure to do that, in feminist circles, often leads to an overblowing of the (very real) harm that sex has the potential to do at the exclusion of other problems facing women and other marginalized groups, which often leads to more shaming rhetoric - just rhetoric that shames different people for different reasons.
Sex is not the enemy and it’s not our savior. It’s just one more thing people can do with their bodies.
"wasted potential" you are still living!!! your potential is still here, you can carry on
There are a lot--like, holy shit, a lot--of people in my notes asking questions about intersex 101 after my recent posts, and as much as I love that y'all want to learn, I don't have the time to sit and respond to every single one of you right now. I'm genuinely not irritated that you have questions, but please understand that I am not an expert on every intersex topic, I'm just some random intersex person, and I'm also super busy & stressed about a million other things today, too.
Here are a couple resources for y'all to check out and get started with on your own. :)
Medicalizing Sex: The Erasure of Sexual Diversity, authored by tumblr's own @dabwax. Check out the works cited page, too.
InterACT's "What is Intersex?" FAQ
InterACT's "Intersex, Gender, and LGBTQIA+" FAQ
InterACT's Intersex Resource Topics page
InterACT's Guide for Allies
Intersex Awareness Day
Human Rights Campaign: "Understanding the Intersex Community"
Bogi Takács' database of intersex #ownvoices books
Bogi Takács' database of books by Black intersex authors
refseek.com
www.worldcat.org/
link.springer.com
http://bioline.org.br/
repec.org
science.gov
pdfdrive.com
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Feel free to add any other firefox extensions you think are slept on.
your condom breaks
you feel a lump on your breast
your friends are ignoring you
you’re stranded on an island
you got rejected by a crush
you get into a car accident
you got stung by a bee/wasp
you got fired from your job
you’re in an earthquake
your tattoo gets infected
your house is on fire
you’re lost in the woods
you get arrested abroad
you get robbed
your partner cheated on you
you’re on a ship that’s sinking
you fall into ice
you’re stuck in an elevator
you hit a deer with your car
you have food poisoning
your pet passed away
you fall off of a horse
you or your friend has alcohol poisoning
you have toxic shock syndrome
your house has a gas leak
(Real pen the last picture)
It is important for EVERYONE to know how to help ANYONE. Not everyone can give them selves their medicine under every circumstance. Be educated, help out.
In the last year, i have gotten about five new violent allergies from foods i used to be able to eat. Next time i eat a fruit, my throat could close. I may not be able to inject myself. My boyfriend and i played with my trainer pen for like 30 minutes. He knows how to inject it. I know how. This is important.
personally, i only found one recipe in here to try out, but i loved the general tips on cooking to achieve particular colors, tastes, or textures. there’s worksheets for figuring out your aversions that can also be used as communication aids for nonverbal ppl.
recipes all have their colors, tastes, and textures labeled right up top, so you know if it suits your needs right away. the author is autistic and has an extremely nonjudgmental way of writing about picky eating.
something that i’m working on is letting things exist without justification. for example, i gained weight recently and i don’t need a reason for it. it’s not “it’s okay because it’s mostly muscle” or “it’s okay because it was while i was on vacation.”
it’s okay regardless.
tumblr wisdom, refs, advice, guides this blog exists for me to refer back to |main @kit-kat-kake
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