One Of The Most Healing Things I’ve Strove (striven?) To Do In My Life Is Viewing Sex As Just Another

One of the most healing things I’ve strove (striven?) to do in my life is viewing sex as just another thing people do, among a host of other things like eating and pooping and playing with cats.

Our entire society, feminists and puritans alike, pushes the idea that sex is uniquely powerful and dangerous, capable of inflicting The Worst Trauma or the Highest Fulfillment, and that’s…just flat out untrue. Other experiences can cause similar trauma: violence, disasters, war, instability. Other experiences can result in transcendent pleasure: trance states, live music, non-sexual intimacy, tattoos.

I think this is where the disconnect in perception about sex positivity comes from, because the phrase itself makes people who already view sex as being uniquely powerful think sex positivity means viewing sex as uniquely good, when actually…it’s mostly about taking sex off that pedestal. Normalizing sex. Making it into just another thing people do. Because that’s the first step in making sure people can engage with sex on their own terms in a healthy way.

Taking sex off its cultural pedestal was the thing that allowed me to overcome the deeply-instilled shame I developed from being raised within Christian purity culture, and from being queer, and from existing as a woman. I think a failure to do that, in feminist circles, often leads to an overblowing of the (very real) harm that sex has the potential to do at the exclusion of other problems facing women and other marginalized groups, which often leads to more shaming rhetoric - just rhetoric that shames different people for different reasons.

Sex is not the enemy and it’s not our savior. It’s just one more thing people can do with their bodies.

More Posts from Resources-and-reminders and Others

"wasted potential" you are still living!!! your potential is still here, you can carry on

There are a lot--like, holy shit, a lot--of people in my notes asking questions about intersex 101 after my recent posts, and as much as I love that y'all want to learn, I don't have the time to sit and respond to every single one of you right now. I'm genuinely not irritated that you have questions, but please understand that I am not an expert on every intersex topic, I'm just some random intersex person, and I'm also super busy & stressed about a million other things today, too.

Here are a couple resources for y'all to check out and get started with on your own. :)

Medicalizing Sex: The Erasure of Sexual Diversity, authored by tumblr's own @dabwax. Check out the works cited page, too.

InterACT's "What is Intersex?" FAQ

InterACT's "Intersex, Gender, and LGBTQIA+" FAQ

InterACT's Intersex Resource Topics page

InterACT's Guide for Allies

Intersex Awareness Day

Human Rights Campaign: "Understanding the Intersex Community"

Bogi Takács' database of intersex #ownvoices books

Bogi Takács' database of books by Black intersex authors

Refseek.com
Refseek.com

refseek.com

Refseek.com

www.worldcat.org/

Refseek.com

link.springer.com

Refseek.com

http://bioline.org.br/

Refseek.com

repec.org

Refseek.com

science.gov

Refseek.com

pdfdrive.com

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Notify you if a website you're on has employees that are on strike

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dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

Anyone can help!

Anyone Can Help!
Anyone Can Help!
Anyone Can Help!
Anyone Can Help!
Anyone Can Help!
Anyone Can Help!
Anyone Can Help!

(Real pen the last picture)

It is important for EVERYONE to know how to help ANYONE. Not everyone can give them selves their medicine under every circumstance. Be educated, help out.

In the last year, i have gotten about five new violent allergies from foods i used to be able to eat. Next time i eat a fruit, my throat could close. I may not be able to inject myself. My boyfriend and i played with my trainer pen for like 30 minutes. He knows how to inject it. I know how. This is important.

Photo of a book being held. The book is Color, Taste, Texture: recipes for picky eaters, those with food aversion, and anyone who's ever cringed at food by Matthew Broberg-Moffitt. There are pictures on the cover of cinnamon rolls, chicken fingers, and a scene of kids eating.

personally, i only found one recipe in here to try out, but i loved the general tips on cooking to achieve particular colors, tastes, or textures. there’s worksheets for figuring out your aversions that can also be used as communication aids for nonverbal ppl.

recipes all have their colors, tastes, and textures labeled right up top, so you know if it suits your needs right away. the author is autistic and has an extremely nonjudgmental way of writing about picky eating.

10 months ago

something that i’m working on is letting things exist without justification. for example, i gained weight recently and i don’t need a reason for it. it’s not “it’s okay because it’s mostly muscle” or “it’s okay because it was while i was on vacation.”

it’s okay regardless.

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