Cock Block

Cock Block

masterlist!

synopsis: from what she could tell, Joel didn’t mean to be as annoying as he was. But after all, he was a father through and through, and what is a father if not a massive cock block? (18+ themes ahead!)

pairings: ellie williams x reader

Ellie was a decent romantic when she wanted to be—she knew you liked star gazing, knew you liked a bonfire, knew that one time when she and Joel were out on patrol and found a bag of marshmallows and something called ‘pre-made s’mores,’ and knew that the face you had made when she had offered a ‘s’more’ and then tried it was a face so beautiful she never wanted to forget it. 

So naturally she planned a whole night. Just you and her, a bonfire in Joel’s backyard, a blanket, some slightly stale s’mores, and the comfortable knowledge that Joel would be out with Tommy and Maria until well past midnight. 

She had been so excited, her hands up your shirt, un clipping your bra as your own hands tangled in her short hair, her lips moving hungrily against yours. Your breath hitched as she trailed her kisses lower down your jaw and neck, her fingers dancing along your waist, the warmth of the fire flickering across her flushed skin. 

And then—

CLANG. 

The sound of metal dropping against concrete shattered the moment. Ellie froze. You froze. Both of you turned your heads just in time to see Joel, standing awkwardly by the back door, a set of tools spilled out at his feet. 

“The hell are y’all doin’?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, and Ellie swore under her breath. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” She shot back, scrambling to sit up and subtly smoothing down your shirt. 

Joel scratched the back of his neck, entirely oblivious (or just choosing to ignore) the murder in Ellie’s eyes. “Tommy’s got a busted sink. Though I left my wrench set back here.” He bent down, picking up the tools one by one. “Didn’t mean to—uh—interrupt,” 

“You always interrupt,” Ellie muttered. 

Joel paused, looking up with that signature dad squint. “What was that, young lady?” 

“Nothing,” Ellie mumbled, running a hand down her face. 

Joel finally gathered his tools, gave you both a nod, and disappeared back inside. The second the door clicked shut, Ellie groaned, collapsing onto your lap. 

“I swear to god, he’s got some sixth sense for this shit,” she whined. “He wasn’t even supposed to be here!”

You giggled, running your fingers through her hair. “Maybe he just wanted to make sure we weren’t burning the house down.” 

Ellie peeked up at you, deadpan. “Yeah? Well, the only thing on fire here is my frustration.”

——————————

You and Ellie had been curled up on the couch, a rare moment of peace between the two of you with patrols and chores. A movie—one of the few that Ellie liked—played in the background, but neither of you were paying attention. Ellie’s hands were resting dangerously low on your hips, your lips against her neck, trailing soft, open-mouthed kisses that sent shivers down her spine. 

She exhaled sharply, tilting her head back to give you more access. “Ellie,” you murmured, gripping her tank top and tugging her closer. 

“Yeah?” Her voice was low, breathy. Her fingers started sliding beneath the waistband of your jeans—

The front door creaked open. 

“Ellie?” 

You practically leapt off the couch, the two of you scrambling to look as normal as possible. Joel stood in the doorway, taking off his jacket, completely unaware of the moment he had just ruined. 

Ellie gritted her teeth. “Joel.” 

Joel furrowed his brows. “What?”

Ellie forced a tight smile that he definitely could tell was painfully not real. “Didn’t you say you were going to the bar?” 

“Yeah, but I forgot my hat.” He walked right past you both, grabbing his old, worn out stupid cowboy hat from the kitchen table. “Y’all are actin’ weird.” 

You cleared your throat, cheeks burning. “Nope. Just—watching a movie.” 

Joel squinted at the TV, where a paused scene of some Star Wars movie was frozen on the screen. He hummed, clearly not convinced. “Your aunt know you’re out here messin’ around?” 

“Yes sir,” You said with a mock salute, and he nodded, not saying anything as he adjusted his hat and headed back out. 

The second the door closed, Ellie buried her face in her hands. 

“This is a curse,” she muttered. 

————————————

It had been an exhausting day—long patrol back weather, and a particularly nasty clicker encounter. By the time you and Ellie got back to Jackson, all either of you wanted was a hot shower. 

Ellie, being the ever-so-generous girlfriend, had offered to let you go first. But the second you stepped into the steaming water, she apparently decided that waiting was overrated. 

“Mind if I join?” Ellie’s voice called through the bathroom door, a teasing lilt to it.

You barely had time to register what was happening before the door creaked open and Ellie stepped inside, a wicked grin on her face. “Saves water, y’know. Gotta do our part for the environment.” 

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t stop the way your heart pounded as she started pulling off her shirt, eyes roaming her toned torso. “Uh-huh. Despite the climate change problem being solved by the world ending, that’s very responsible of you.” 

She winked, stepping toward the shower. “Just doing my civic duty.” 

Her hands were on the clasp of her bra when—

Knock, knock, knock. 

“Ellie, you in there?”

Joel. 

Ellie let out a strangled groan. “Are you serious right now?” 

The door handle jiggled, and Ellie yanked her shirt back on in frustration. “What, Joel?” 

“You left your damn jacket on the porch. It’s rainin,’ and I ain’t about to have you gettin’ sick.” 

Ellie pinched the bridge of her nose. “Joel, I do not care about my jacket right now.” 

There was a long silence. 

“You, uh… you decent?” 

Ellie turned to you, her expression pure suffering. You just bit your lip, suppressing a laugh. 

“Yes, Joel. I’m decent.”

The door cracked open just enough for him to toss the damp jacket inside before it shut again. 

“You’re welcome,” Joel called before his footsteps faded down the hall. 

Ellie just stood there for a moment, hands clenched into fists at her sides. “I swear to god—”

You patted her arm sympathetically. “We have the worst luck.” 

She let out a dramatic sigh, climbing into the shower behind you. “This is beyond luck. This is divine intervention.” 

——————————

It had officially become ridiculous. 

Ellie was done playing it cool. Done brushing it off as bad timing. Done with the constant interruptions. 

So when she finally managed to get you alone in her room, with the door locked, no patrol duties, no chores, and no Joel anywhere in sight—she took full advantage. 

She had you pressed against the bed, her lips moving feverishly against yours, fingers slipped up the hem of your shirt.  You moaned into her touch, hands gripping her hoodie as she pressed you impossibly further into the mattress. 

Fucking finally. 

And then—

Knock, knock, kncck!

Ellie froze. 

Your eyes widened in horror. “No. No way.” 

“Ellie?” 

Ellie let out a guttural, borderline inhuman noise. 

“I swear to god, Joel, if you—”

“You left the lights on in the kitchen,” Joel called through the door. “Electricity ain’t free, kiddo.” 

Ellie pulled away from you, running both hands down her face. “We live off hydroelectric power—it is free.” 

There was a brief pause. 

“You better not be doin’ anything stupid in there.” 

“Joel,” Ellie growled. 

You bit your lip, trying not to laugh as Joel continued. 

“You got protection, at least?” 

“OH MY GOD.” Ellie practically launched herself off the bed. “Joel, we can’t even get pregnant!”

Silence. Then, Joel muttered, almost to himself—

“Knowin’ you, I think a miracle could happen.” 

Ellie gaped at the door, hands raised in pure, unfiltered exasperation. “You are literally, clinically insane.” 

“Just sayin’.” 

Ellie banged her forehead against the door. “Do you have some plan to make sure I get no action until I’m forty!?”

“Alright, alright. Y’all be safe.”

His footsteps retreated down the hall. 

Ellie turned back to you, looking completely, utterly done. You just stared at her, then burst into laughter. 

“This isn’t funny,” she whined. 

“It’s very funny.” 

Ellie flopped onto the bed beside you, staring at the ceiling. “I’m moving out. I’m gonna build a cabin in the woods. No dads allowed.”

You grinned, leaning over to kiss her. “I’ll visit.” 

She turned her head to look at you, eyes softening just a little. “…you better.”

—————————————

Ellie got some action next Thursday at 3:43 p.m. while Tommy and Joel had gone out on a fishing trip. When you found Ellie’s journal opened to a page with a sketch of your face, you saw it read; ‘mmmm, sweet victory! Pussy never tasted so good!’

im a wreck. The house was empty when she got back.

If you liked this one shot, please check out my other series!