I Can't Lie To You I Loveee Bad Endings Sometimes. What If Nothing Worked Out. What If The Characters

No thoughts, head empty, only HIM

okay, but what if

Charlie's entire childhood, Lilith and Lucifer were constantly jokingly being mean to each other, like a lot of little married people banters, so she just assumed being mean to someone is a sign of love. She eventually got smarter and grew out of it, although she still catches herself sometimes mocking Vaggie, not very often, though.

So her first thought when Alastor and Lucifer started fighting was "are they flirting??"

Yes. Yes they were.

kiss me, i'm contagious

ino x reader

2.3k words

shower sex, implied age gap (younger man/older woman), strangers, mostly submissive ino, cum eating, nanami shows up for two seconds

tw for some talk of suicidal thoughts/self harm, only at the beginning and can be skimmed it just gives slight context

always tip your curse exorcist. especially if he's cute.

when the whole ordeal was over, the man in the suit (with a face so handsome and a voice so deep that you were squeezing your legs together all over again) explained to you that there had been some sort of entity in your apartment that was invisible to 'people like you,' as he had bluntly put it. though you could never fully wrap your head around it, you were forced out of questioning it simply by how much sense it made, for something so nonsensical.

"you've probably been feeling under the weather in some way lately," he had said, folding his hands in front of him on the table. "it can manifest in any number of ways, really. migraines, sore throat, muscular aches, overwhelming sadness or anger. any abnormal feelings or sensations that only seem to manifest at home-- when you're in proximity to the curse, that is." chewing a nail, you racked your brain for any occurrences that lined up with what he described.

"how about suicidal thoughts?" you had been embarrassed to ask, but he was unperturbed.

"sure, it wouldn't surprise me. we don't hear about that as often, though." uncommon or not, you at least had an explanation for how tantalizing your bedroom window had been for weeks, maybe longer. even earlier that day you had been delusionally unfastening the window locks, your hands trembling at the thought of your own body splattered on the pavement below. the only thing that tore you away from the temptation of self-destruction was a sudden urge to shower.

you weren't even sure if you had always liked your showers so hot; your skin felt seared by every drop, but everything in your body screamed at you to leave the knob where it was, so far to the left that you were afraid it would get stuck. besides the temperature, you were frightfully lightheaded, choking on each steamy breath. you thought to yourself that you were going to have to lay down when you got out of the shower. when you got out? when were you getting out? it was hard to say how long you had even been in there. you were half-soaped, desperately trying to calculate how long it had been, when you unmistakably heard a knock at the door.

simply put, you had no idea who could be coming over unannounced. no family nearby, no available friends, no late rent or anticipated maintenance men; even your neighbors, cold as they were, would send you a message before resorting to the pounding on the door you were helplessly listening to. the thought of leaving the scalding shower was still nowhere near the front of your mind.

"um, ma'am?" the person at the door shouted, pausing his pounding knocks for a moment. "i hope this isn't a bad time, i really need to help you with something, it might be urgent." was this some new kind of scam? surely not, from someone with such a young-sounding voice, right? in any case, you still made no move to leave, frozen in place. "ma'am, if you're home, it would really be nice if you opened the door. it's really hard to explain right now, but i'm here to help you." over the unrelenting sound of water, you made out a sigh. "i can pay to fix it if i have to kick the door in, but i really don't want to." kick the door in? alarm bells should have been ringing like crazy in your head. instead, of course, you stayed where you were, waiting for him to do exactly that.

it was a much quieter sound than you expected. he must have done it dozens of times for it to sound so controlled. you idly wondered if there were a way to make the water even hotter.

"oh, shit, are you in the shower?" he called, voice punctuated by heavy footsteps. "oh man, i'm so sorry. i hope i didn't scare you." his embarrassment was palpable. "um, how do i even explain this.. there's.. something in your apartment that i'm here to get rid of. you probably haven't seen or heard anything, but that's.." he groaned, cutting himself off. "i hate it when nanami makes me explain this shit. he does it so much better than i do. um, listen, we'll explain everything to you when i'm done, okay? i just need to find this thing and get rid of it." his endearing confusion had slightly pulled you out of your trance. you heard the hushed shuffles of your floor-length curtains and couch cushions being shoved around. despite his promise of explaining later, you couldn't help dimly wondering what exactly he was looking for.

you distractedly scrubbed at yourself again, something in your chest pricking as his footsteps thudded closer to the bathroom. "ah, shit," he murmured, something (his head?) thunking defeatedly against the door. "um, hey, ma'am," he started, more embarrassment creeping into his voice. "i think the thing i'm looking for is in the room with you." you almost scoffed. you of all people should know that you were the only thing in there. "i know this doesn't make sense, and i'm really sorry, but i'm feeling an insane amount of cursed energy in there. unless there's something about you that they didn't tell us, that thing has got to be in there. i can feel it through the door, it's making me sick." if you weren't inhaling copious amounts of condensation, you would've been beyond confused; the most your mind could muster was dazed curiosity.

"you're absolutely sure there's something in here?" you asked, reaching out to grasp the shower nozzle. your sense of danger was far too weak to think twice about letting him come in. "the door is unlocked." he gave some sort of relieved hum. you heard the jingle of the knob as it slowly turned. he hesitated a moment before pushing the door open.

"you have a second to grab a towel or something, you know," he rasped, apparently realizing at the same time as you that you were covered only by the wet fog on the shower's glass door. you finally turned the water off, taking a deep breath of the cooling air.

"it's okay, i didn't bring a towel in," you mumbled, peering through the condensation to make out his figure. from what you could tell, he was <em>cute</em>; paired with what you could parse of his personality, you didn't terribly mind the thought of him seeing you naked, stranger or not. "how long is.. whatever you're going to do supposed to take?"

he had stepped fully into the small bathroom, his shoes squeaking on the damp tile. "just a minute or two, it's smaller than i expected. it's sitting in your sink, by the way." squinting, you tried to make out even a hint of what he was referring to. your efforts were unsurprisingly fruitless. you averted your eyes awkwardly for a moment to let him do his bizarre job, looking back at him as he let out a sigh of relief. "alright, it's taken care of. if it was having an effect on you, it should be wearing off pretty quickly." he turned in your direction, his eyes dancing over your form through the fading fog not very discretely. something about his audacity was turning you on.

"um, do i have to pay you for that?" you asked sheepishly, sliding open the door just a crack to get a clearer look at him. you could still feel a flush on your face from the heat of the water, and the way he was looking at you was only adding to it.

"oh, uh, no, it doesn't really work like that.. i guess i can accept a tip, though, if you insist." you were holding the door with one hand, peering out at him, your bare chest pressing shamelessly against the glass. he could hardly even pretend to tear his eyes away. "what kind of payment did you have in mind, exactly..?" he asked, voice trembling.

he was right about you feeling better quickly; not only were you free from thoughts of melting off your skin or holding your own head under the faucet, you were feeling unusually confident. "you've been looking at me," you said, studying his expression. "i've got a few ideas you might like." he audibly swallowed.

"y-you don't have to do something like that, seriously," he stuttered, the red on his face spreading like a plague. "you're probably still being influenced by the curse, anyways, it'd be like taking advantage of a drunk girl, i can't do that to you, ma'am," he rambled, keeping himself upright with a hand on the slick bathroom counter as he watched you shove the shower door further aside, fully revealing yourself to his insatiable eyes.

"oh, but i insist," you teased, overflowing with your newfound boldness. "don't you wanna join me in here?" you tilted your head at him, pleading with big fuck-me eyes. after a pitiful sigh he relented, nodding enthusiastically. "don't worry about the shoes," you assured him, extending a hand to help him in. he was panting immediately, clearly not from the dissipating heat.

you guided his hand to rest on your hip, still hot and wet from your unnecessarily long (yet unfinished) showering endeavors. the feeling of skin seemed to snap him out of his bashfulness, his hand traveling almost of its own will to grip your ass desperately. "fuck," he whined as you planted a hand on his abdomen, letting it slip under his waistband playfully. "i gotta warn you, ma'am, my, um-- nanami might come looking for me if i don't give him an update soon--" you cut him off by hastily tugging his pants down, pressing your back against the dripping tile behind you. one leg wrapped around his narrow waist, pulling him in, his cock prodding your stomach.

"that's fine," you purred, shifting him around with your leg to guide him into your entrance. "we can fit one more in here." he groaned, sinking into you, resting his head on your shoulder as he let you adjust. maybe he hadn't caught what you said, but he was throbbing inside you nonetheless. "you better hurry if you don't want mr. nanami to join us," you cooed, nipping his ear. the threat seemed to go straight to his hips, hurriedly fucking into you like it was his goal all along. he let out a ragged breath as you clenched around him. he had no intention of disclosing it to you, but based on his performance, it must have been his first time; erratic thrusts, constant whimpering, excessive sensitivity. it was a surprise to both of you that he lasted more than a few strokes. you had hardly processed the fact that he had pulled out of you until you felt the hot spurts on your stomach, his dick still half-hard and pulsating on your hip. he struggled to catch his breath before speaking.

"sorry," he rasped, supporting himself with a hand beside your head. "didn't know if i was allowed to.. you know." he flashed a sheepish smile, flicking the sweaty hair from his eyes. the sweetly innocent look on his face made something cruel flash through your mind. he had finished so quickly that you were certain he could make time for your ridiculous demand. you put on a pout, looking at him like a disappointed mother.

"after i just showered," you chastised, shaking your head. "do you think you could clean me up?" nevermind the fact that you hadn't really finished showering in the first place-- that was none of his business. nevermind how easy it would be to grab a washcloth or turn the water back on again. if it didn't occur to him, then it didn't need to occur to you. you planted a hand on his shoulder, just firm enough to push him down to his knees before you. "you don't mind, do you?" you were playing with this poor boy. the way the blood rushed straight back to his dick erased your guilt pretty quickly. when he raised a hand to wipe the mess away, you wagged a disapproving finger. fortunately for you, he understood without explanation. his cheeks once again flushed, he tentatively licked at one spot of cum. the light feeling of his tongue on your skin made your muscles tense, a small noise escaping you. he made a face, displeased at the taste or the texture, pausing before lapping up more. he grew bolder fast, sucking hickeys into spots he had just licked clean, pulling more soft noises out of you. you didn't ignore the way his hand found his dick, jerking himself off feverishly as he tongued his own cum off of your skin. he delivered sweet mewls into your abdomen, sucking air in through clenched teeth as he unloaded again onto the dewy floor, finally spent. as if on cue, his phone, at some point abandoned beside the sink, started to ring, the awful ringtone bouncing off of the cavernous walls.

"oh, fuck, that's nanami," he sighed, rising on unsteady legs and adjusting his half-damp pants. "he'll be by to explain things to you at some point anyways, i guess i should have mentioned that." you watched as he hoisted himself out of the shower, looking himself over in the un-fogged mirror. "i, um.. thank you," was all he could say, looking down shyly as he darted out the door. 

it occurred to you at some point in your conversation with the man in the suit that he was, undeniably, the nanami that the boy had mentioned. the nanami you had hypothetically invited to join you in your unglamorous shower sex. you awkwardly cleared your throat, directing your attention back to whatever the hell he had been saying. maybe you should get yourself involved with curses more often.

"I don't condone hitting women, but I never said anything about strangling bitches." -Lucifer (probably)

jayce with fem reader first time being so embarassed about his cock size because he thinks it’s small but it’s actually huge.

he’s pathetically rutting into you whilst you praise him for having such a big and pretty cock!!! -🫧

▶︎ TOO BIG? | he’s just so big that it drives you insane…

▶︎ OKAY BUT ACTUALLY — this awakened something in me ngl. so much so that i’m ignoring my 10+ other drafts to write it but i didn’t say that… also i’m so sorry for how inactive i’ve been, writer’s block sucks ass. i really love all of you!! ❤️❤️💋

“oh my god, jay— fuck, mmh, so b-big—!”

your pussy is drooling around the thick cock fucking into it, walls fluttering against every wet drag n’ slide of the searing flesh. jayce had been so bashful before, mumbling and stuttering over himself about how “unsatisfying” his cock may be —

yet here he was, pounding straight into your stomach and fucking you up in every way — you were going dumb on the biggest cock you’d ever fucking seen, ears full of his ragged pants and grunts as he snaps his hips into yours painfully.

unsatisfying. bullshit. there was nothing unsatisfying about jayce talis’ pretty cock.

“so good, jay, fuck, you’re splitting me in half.” you whine out, head lolling back and shaky ankles locking at his lower back. his heavy balls smack into your ass with every powerful thrust, twitching and spasming against the flesh — he’s so thick that your walls are bruising, spread open and battered in the best way.

“god, i-i — feels so good, ‘m goin’ crazy,” jayce responds back, words breathy and pitched, punctuated by slick squelches from your pussy. his nails dig crescents into your plush thighs as he holds you up with incomparable strength, body weight only slightly supported by the desk beside you.

“me too,” you pant, grappling at his shoulders with liquified hands. “your cock is so fucking good, jay — fucks my pussy so good, fuck, don’t stop.”

jayce’s breath shudders in his lungs and his cock kicks inside your walls, your filthy words affecting him viscerally — his hips stutter ever so slightly, thrusts turning sloppy for a fraction of time; but then he’s kicking it into gear again, fucking into your sloppy pussy so fast and hard you start to see stars.

“fuck, yes! jus’ like that, jay, fuckin’ ruin me,” you mewl, drool slipping past your lip to cool against your chin. it feels so fuckin’ good; it’s intense and almost overwhelming, the feeling of being stuffed full over and over shoving a thick fog into your head and stealing your coherency completely; almost complete dumbification.

“shit i— god, you sound so sexy, ‘m not sure if i can l-last,” jayce nearly whimpers, movements sloppier than before. the kicking of his cock is consistent now, heralding a spiraling approach of his orgasm.

if you were being honest, this knowledge didn’t even disappoint you like it would have with your previous partners; on the contrary, the thought of feeling cum shoot out of his huge cock had you trembling inside.

“‘s okay, jay— jus’ keep fuckin’ me, don’t stop fuckin’ me— fuck me ‘til you cum. fill me up, jay, i want it; wanna feel this beautiful cock mess me up—!”

“shit! oh, my god, fuck, okay — please, talk to me more, tell me how good it feels, please —!”

despite the fog in your head, jayce’s plea had something clicking within it; mr. talis harbors a huge praise kink. aww, that’s so adorable.

“it feels so good, jay.” you coo, a little slurred, train of thought bouncing around with each harsh thrust inside your sloppy pussy. “your cock fucks me so good. so big and pretty, fuck, you’re amazing, jay — ‘m goin’ crazy, i love your cock.”

your ability to speak at all is completely robbed when jayce readjusts his grip on your thighs and angles his hips — and the most guttural, lewd yelp tears through your throat when he begins to slam into your body hard and fast. much harder and faster than before.

“god, pretty pussy, such a good pussy, feels s’good and tight — god, my dick feels like it’s bein’ choked, s’good—!”

you can’t even fully register jayce’s babbling through the ringing in your ears; your pussy feels as though it’s being savagely rearranged, cervix sore from countless assaults — he’s using you like some sort of toy, fucking into you for his pleasure alone.

and it feels so fucking good.

the only sounds you can produce are moans and mewls, but it’s incentive enough for jayce to continue to rut into you. there was a familiar tension building in your gut, one that became more and more intense with each shove of his cock into your walls — fuck, you were going to cum soon.

“jay— gon’a cum,” you force out, eyes rolling back and muscles melting. if jayce heard you, he didn’t answer back; not verbally, at least. but his hips did pick up even more speed, fucking you so brutally that it knocked your breath from your lungs.

“fuck—!” was the only thing you managed to yelp out before your orgasm crashed through your body, swollen clit forming its own heartbeat as it throbbed to the eddying waves of pleasure. the ringing in your ears was so loud now, overtaking every other sound in the room.

even jayce’s growl of “‘m comin’!” as his hips stuttered once, then twice, before he buried himself deep inside your cunt and stilled — thick ropes splattered hot against your walls, so copious that you could feel it leak out around jayce’s cock and slip down your ass.

by the time the ringing in your ears ceased, jayce had already come down from his high for the most part. you fluttered open eyes that you have no remembrance of closing only to find jayce staring at you with worry.

“are you okay?” he asks, voice strained and thick, and you can’t help but smile at him dopily.

“never better.” you murmur, body still tingling from aftershocks.

how the hell jayce could have ever thought of his cock as “unsatisfying” was a mystery you weren’t sure you could solve.

so has anybody thought about butler alastor and royal luci bc i cant go down on this hill alone

JJK MEN TWITTER LINKS

☆ Gojo Satoru ☆

Subby Satoru begging you to let him cum

He couldn't wait to get home so...

Rubbing your pussy

☆ Toji Fushiguro ☆

Riding his fat cock

Just the tip

Making you cum with just his fingers

☆ Geto Suguru ☆

Backshots

He loves your trampstamp

A little spanking never hurt

☆ Choso Kamo ☆

Eats pussy like a champ

Jerking him off through his boxers

Subby choso playing with his nips

☆ Nanami Kento ☆

Fingering your pretty cunt

He makes you so wet

Early mornings w Nanami

The amount of porn I watched was astronomical 💀

Will I do it again?..... yes

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

gojo and shoko who get a little too drunk together accidentally and find themself inside a bar bathroom dry humping each other

gojo is grabbing her ass, making her grind against the thigh he shoved between her legs. he hasn’t been drunk since he was in high school, and he forgot how much it amplifies the feeling of touch. he’s not drunk enough where he doesn’t know what’s happening, but he has a buzz in his head… and other places, lowering his inhibitions

“shoko…” he breathlessly moans between thrusts when she grips the outline of his cock through his pants. he has to bite his lip to suppress a whine when she finds the head and squeezes it through his pants.

“so hard from just a little kissing, gojo?” she teases, biting his bottom lip and making him groan.

“you’re being so sexy, it’s not fair.” he practically whines the words, pouting when she starts stroking the length of his cock. the pressure of her small hand feels so fucking good, even through the fabric, he’s unable to stop himself from thrusting into her hand.

“mmm, i like you like this.” her legs shake when she rubs her clothed pussy perfectly against his rough pants. her dress rode up over her ass, and the only thing between them is her thin panties and his pants.

“like what?” gojo asks, grunting when she squeezes his cock before turning around and pressing her ass against his cock. gojo keeps his thigh between hers, wrapping her arm against the soft of her stomach before his greedy hands slide up to find her tits.

“i like these… so big.” gojo rests his forehead against her shoulder and begins dry fucking her ass. shoko moans, pushing herself back against him thrust for thrust.

“like that, you’re not irritating me when you’re drunk. you should do it more often.” she moans. gojo grunts in return, wrapping a hand around her throat as he kisses the side of it, using his hand to keep her in place. his other hand slides inside her shirt to slip under her bra and find her bare tit.

she stifles a whine between her teeth when he pinches and rolls shokos nipple. “they’re so soft. god i knew they would be soft. i think about these a lot.” he whisperers into her neck. the heat of his breath tickles her skin, makes her legs shake with the sensitivity.

he’s so hard against her plush ass, rutting desperately with panted moans and low grunts. his cock is sliding between her ass perfectly, warming him even from inside his pants. pre-cum leaks from the tip of his cock, wetting the inside of his boxers.

“jesus satoru, you’re so big.” shoko moans, her toes curling in her shoes when he shoves his knee further between her legs to stimulate her clit, she humps against him greedily, squeezing her thighs around his.

gojo giggles, “are you talking about my dick? i thought you said it was smallll” shokos head tips back against his shoulder, baring her throat to him more as he peppers kisses and bites along her pale skin.

“kinda hard to think that when i feel you like a snake between my ass.” she jokes between moans, feeling that familiar warmth coil in her stomach.

“you know what else is kinda hard?” gojo whispers in his best seductive voice.

shoko shakes her head and reaches behind her to grab his ass, digging her nails into him. he grunts, hips stuttering while he dry humps her with such vigor the mirror on the wall is starting to shake. she’s practically being fucked against the sink at this point.

“stop” pant “fucking talking, and- make me cum, gojo.”

his hand tightens around her next and shokos mouth opens wider when the lack of oxygen makes her orgasm rush in faster. “shoko… shoko, fuck shoko.” gojo breaths into her neck between kisses. she gasps when he starts bouncing his thigh, adding more pressure to her clit. “cum for me shoko, pretend i’m inside you and cum all over my big cock.”

his words were so corny, but shoko was unable to fight her orgasm as it wracked through her body. gojo wraps both arms around her stomach, burring his head deeper into her neck when his balls release his seed into his boxers. he’s fucking her hard through stuttered thrusts, pretending he’s pushing his cock deep inside her pussy and filling her with his cum.

“fuck.” she gasps. gripping his arms with shaky hands as they fall against the sink together in a pile of messy, sticky, sweaty limbs.

“fuck is right, my boxers are soaked.” gojo breaths heavily.

“god… i mean it by the way. you really should get drunk more often.” she breaths, slowly regaining the feeling in her legs. if he was able to make her cum this hard from a little dry humping, she wondered what he could do with his cock inside her.

“you know we can have sex when im sober.” gojo retorted, looking at her though the mirror while continuing to massage her tits. his other hand joined the party and started treating them like stress toys.

she shook her head. “no, i need you to be at least tipsy before you fuck me. you’re cute like this.”

gojo pouts. “you just want to take advantage of me.”

shoko scoffs and grips his wrist. “you’re the one with your hands on my tits fucking my ass. besides, you had one shot, you big lightweight.”

gojo squinted his eyes at her like he was going to respond, before his forehead dropped onto her shoulder, his fluffy hair tickling her neck as he continued to massage her boobs. “couldn’t think of a clap back. alcohol makes me dumb.”

My princess with a disorder🥹

Also heres the full list of maladies by popular request

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characters: (Sub!) Hinata, Yamaguchi, Nishinoya, Asahi, Kageyama, Akaashi, Bokuto, Oikawa, and Suna!!

a/n: HIIII ermm since i forgot how to write, i might as well give u hq boys as my fave twt porn videos LOL. uhh there will be masturbating videos, pegging videos, spanking, etc. remember to watch these in moderation and consume sfw content on here too!!

another a/n: PLEASE let me know if a link isn’t working, there is a duplicate, etc. friendly reminder that you will have to sign in to twitter to see most of these!!

Hinata: video video video video video video video video video

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