I Do Feel However That Guk Is Ashamed, Not Because Of Homophobia, But Because Out Of All The People The

I do feel however that Guk is ashamed, not because of homophobia, but because out of all the people the one that already owns him in body now owns his heart too??? The inner turmoil of Guk must be fucking horrifying.

Related to that actually, I’ve seen some people dismiss the things that Guk said because Tae Joo himself tries to dismiss them as senseless cruelty, but I don’t believe that. I do think everything Guk said has weighed heavily on Guk’s mind, the mom commentary, the way Tae Joo holds on to him for dear life because he clearly is lonely so he indeed is dependent while Guk craves freedom, the fact that he was happy when Tae Joo left for Japan must be partly true if not all the way because it meant for a moment Guk’s life belonged to him and him only and not the whims of a spoiled boy and his rich creepy abusive daddy, and so much resentment for being considered no more than a shield even if Tae Joo thinks of him as more and not just a glorified servant, that’s all he can be under their current situation, and after 15 years what kind of morale has Guk for the future if its not his own, he can love Tae Joo but at what cost to himself…

All that must run through Guk’s mind because he understands that Tae Joo doesn’t quite get the kind of power he has over Guk, but he still is gentle and reassuring to him, but Tae Joo chose to kept crossing the line and Guk had to stop him, he had to, he has breaking him apart. Honestly, Tae Joo is blind, so blind to what he does to Guk, the depth of what he does to him, and some of it he doesn’t know but the rest he should be able to figure it out if he truly means to love Guk, because he’s not seeing him.

Bottom line, Tae Joo does not see Guk, all he sees is an idea of who Guk should be, nobody deserves that, nobody fucking deserves to be reduced to a desire, and Guk is quite conscious about it. And after whatever happened to Tae Joo, good lord wtf was that btw, I hope they have a frank conversation about what it means that Guk is basically owned by Tae Joo, what it means that Guk doesn’t have a life of his own.

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Edit: I’ve just been told that g**k is a racial slur against east/south asian people so with that in mind I’m gonna start using Guk instead of the other spelling from now on.