Reblogcatparent827 - Reblogcatparent

There's such a thing as too much showing

While “show, don’t tell” is great advice, it’s easy to go overboard. Not everything needs lots of description, so it's important to get the balance right.

Choose what you describe in detail by how relevant it is to your story or its setting. If it's important, immerse your readers. If it's just flavour, sometimes it's ok to just tell your readers the information. You don’t want to overwhelm readers with too much unnecessary detail. The trick is to be intentional with your choices.

Writing Dialogue: Ways of Saying No

When your characters are saying no without saying "no"

INARTICULATE

Ah

Oh

APOLOGETIC/UNCOMFORTABLE

Alas ⚜ Can’t help ⚜ Do me a favour ⚜ Give over

I’m afraid… ⚜ Sorry ⚜ Unfortunately

EVASIVE

Any other time… ⚜ Ask Arthur ⚜ ‘Bye ⚜ Must run

Not right now ⚜ Talk to me later ⚜ The thing is… ⚜ What a pity

DEFINITE (with negative word)

No can do ⚜ No chance ⚜ No go ⚜ No way (José)

Never (in a thousand years) ⚜ Not in a million years

Not on your nelly ⚜ I should say not

DEFINITE (no negative word)

Are you serious? ⚜ Drop dead ⚜ Fat chance

Get lost / knotted / stuffed… ⚜ God forbid ⚜ Hard cheese

I’d rather die ⚜ Impossible ⚜ Over my dead body

Push off ⚜ See you in hell first ⚜ Tough titty

Unthinkable ⚜ You must be joking ⚜ You’ve had it

EXCUSES

If it were up to me ⚜ I’m right out ⚜ It’s more than my job’s worth

It’s not in my hands ⚜ Love to, but…

EUPHEMISMS/CLICHÉS

Chance would be a fine thing ⚜ Closed for business

Correspondence closed ⚜ If wish were father to the deed

Je regrette, mais… ⚜ Not my department ⚜ Not my remit

The editor regrets… ⚜ The umpire’s decision is final

Would that it were possible

Parents begin to teach their children to read between the lines in this way at an early age. Here are some of the negative responses used by parents to a request by their 4-year-old for another biscuit.

You’ve just had one ⚜ It’ll be tea time soon

Ask Daddy ⚜ I haven’t heard the magic word yet

Source ⚜ Word Lists ⚜ Notes & References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Developing Backstory: Bringing Characters to Life

1. Where It All Started: The Character’s Origin

Place of Birth: Where did your character first see the world? Think about the impact of this place—was it a busy city where they had to fight for attention or a quiet village where everyone knew everyone’s business? This location doesn’t just say where they’re from; it shapes how they see the world.

Family and Upbringing: What was their family like? Were their parents loving or distant? Maybe they were raised by someone other than their parents—a mentor, an older sibling, or even alone. Family (or the lack of it) is usually one of the most significant factors in shaping who someone becomes.

Society’s Expectations: What was expected of them when they were young? Possibly, they were born into wealth, with all the pressure to continue the family legacy, or maybe they were raised to be invisible in a world where survival mattered. How does this influence who they are now? Do they accept or reject those expectations?

2. Childhood Events That Left a Mark

First Taste of Conflict: Think about the first time the character realized the world wasn’t a perfect place. Maybe they witnessed violence or faced betrayal. What was that moment, and how did it stick with them? This moment usually lays the foundation for the character’s emotional landscape—fear, hope, ambition, or distrust all come from these early life lessons.

Childhood Dreams: When they were young, what did they want to be? Every child has dreams—did they want to be a knight, a scholar, or even just someone who could travel the world? Did they have to give up these dreams? How does that lost dream shape them now?

Formative Relationships: Who was their first best friend, mentor, or enemy? Childhood friendships and relationships often create deep bonds or wounds that last into adulthood. Did they have a mentor who taught them everything, only to betray them? Did they lose a childhood friend that still haunts them?

3. The Teen Years: Where They Start to Become Who They Are

Trials and Tribulations: What’s the biggest challenge they faced as they grew up? Was it losing a loved one, failing at something important, or maybe being forced into a role they didn’t want? These teenage years are where the emotional armor starts forming—how did the difficulties they faced shape them into the person they are now?

Education or Training: How did they learn what they know? Were they formally trained by an institution, learning everything by the book, or did they learn through experience, like a street-smart survivalist? What impact does their education or lack of it have on how they interact with others?

Teenage Bonds: Did they have a first love or a first major falling out with someone close to them? These experiences often create emotional scars or connections that they carry with them into adulthood. How does that past friendship or romance influence their behavior now?

4. Key Life Events: The Big Moments That Define Them

Trauma or Loss: Was there a moment that changed everything? Think about a significant loss—maybe a loved one, their home, or a sense of identity. How does this event affect their worldview? Do they build walls around themselves or dive into relationships with reckless abandon because they fear losing more?

Victory or Failure: Did they experience a moment of triumph or devastating defeat? Success and failure leave their marks. Were they celebrated as a hero once, leading them to overconfidence, or did they fail when everyone was counting on them, leading to crippling self-doubt?

Betrayal: Was there a betrayal that shaped their adult relationships? Whether it is a friend, family member, or lover, betrayal often changes how we trust others. Do they close themselves off, constantly expecting betrayal, or try to rebuild trust, afraid of being left alone again.

5. Where They Stand Now: The Present Moment

What Drives Them Today: What’s the one thing pushing them forward now? Is it revenge, the need to restore their family’s honor, or maybe even just survival? Whatever it is, this motivation should tie directly back to their experiences.

Emotional Baggage: What unresolved emotional wounds are they carrying? Everyone has scars from their past—some are visible, others not so much. How do these emotional wounds affect how they treat others, how they react to conflict, and how they move through the world.

Current Relationships: Who’s still in their life from their past, and how do they feel about it? Did they reconnect with someone they thought they’d lost, or are they haunted by unresolved issues with people from their past? Do they have any ongoing tensions or regrets tied to these people?

6. Tying Themes to Their Backstory

Cultural or Mythological Influence: How does their personal story tie into the larger world’s mythology or culture? Do they carry a family legacy, a curse, or a prophecy that hangs over them? How does this influence their interactions with others and their perception of themselves?

Recurring Symbols: Are there objects, dreams, or people that keep showing up in their life, symbolizing their journey? Perhaps a recurring nightmare haunts them, or they carry an object from their past that’s both a source of comfort and pain

7. Character Arc: The Journey from Past to Present

How Does Their Past Shape Their Growth?: Every character has emotional baggage that needs resolving. How does their backstory drive their arc? Do they need to forgive themselves, let go of the past, or accept who they’ve become to move forward?

Unanswered Questions from the Past: Are there any mysteries in their backstory they need to solve? Maybe they’re unaware of their true parentage, or maybe there’s a forgotten event from their childhood that will resurface and change everything.

An Overly Complicated Guide to Writing Hugs!

Here are some things I think about when writing hugs to try to make them fit with the characters and the current emotional tone of the story, as well as have anywhere near the same impact of hugs in visual mediums.

When? (Who?)

The frequency a character will hug is usually pretty dependent on the nature of the character. Are they emotionally or physically reticent to the point that a hug from them probably means the world is ending? Will they hug on special occasions (the college graduation or the 'we both just nearly died' depending on genre) Or are they more touchy-feely? Then there's more minutia, do they refrain from hugs because they just don't like them? Or because they don't want to cross others' boundaries? Were they raised in a household where spontaneous hugs were commonplace or where they could count them on one hand?

Why?

The "why" of a hug has a big impact on the energy of it and often how many details you write into it. Is it a happy hug? Sad? A complicated mix of emotions? Casual? This can also affect the "how" of the hug. If it's a "I thought you were dead!" hug it's unlikely to be a loose side-hug. If it's a "Oh, nice to see you :)" it's unlikely to be a strangling bear hug. Overall the emotions of both people involved should be your guide to writing it.

How?

First thing I consider is usually the initiator. Does one person initiate? Do both people equally initiate? Does someone open their arms and the other steps into the hug? Do they resist the hug? Do they melt into the hug? This typically links back into both the why of the hug, and who the characters are. I also try to think of the "motivation" of a hug which can be conscious or subconscious. Is the initiator hugging to provide comfort? Express gratitude? Reassure themself? Something else?

Arms! Placement is often influenced by height. Both arms over? Both arms under? One under/one over? Squeeze?

Hands! Actions: Clutching at clothes? Rubbing circles? Patting? Ruffling hair? Placement: Back of neck? Lower/mid/upper back? Hair/back of head? Wrap around to their side?

Tightness! Loose? Gentle? Tight? Suffocating? Are there injuries to be considerate of? Are they tired or energized? How conscientious are they of how tight they're holding?

Duration! Is it a quick hug then pull away? Does one awkwardly pull back after a few seconds? Do they both cling on for just a little too long? Does the initiator end the hug, does the receiver, or is it mutually done? Communicated by a loosening grip or back slap?

Head! Chin on the top of the head? Burying their face in the other person's shoulder/chest? Turning their head to the side? Looking up? Staring into the distance? Closing their eyes? Crying? Stoic? Smiling?

Stance/Big picture! Are they both standing? One standing one sitting? One lying down and the other crouched? Some sort of other awkward positioning? Do they rock side to side when they hug -- who is rocking? Does one pick up the other? Swing them around? Is it a run-into hug where they're both staggering/nearly falling with the impact? Is one standing stiffly with their arms sticking to the side? Are they relaxed? One leaning into the other, both leaning, neither?

Dynamism! Similar to big picture, but how much is the hug moving? Rocking side to side? moving hands/adjusting grip? Moving head? Staggering back? Standing as still as a statue for the whole duration? Are they talking during it? Quiet?

Alternate hug-ish stuff! One-armed hug, hugging an arm/leg, arm slung over the other's shoulder, hug for a practical purpose (stabilization, restraining, carrying, tackle), group hugs, unintentional proximity (trapped in enclosed space, tied up)

Hug Examples! Watch examples of hugs from shows, movies, etc and try to note the little details that can help feel more evocative, natural, or memorable. How did the body language of the actors convey how the characters were feeling? How did the hug feel to you?

(First 2 are from the Magnum PI reboot, next 4 Macgyver reboot, next 2 White Collar, last 2 Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. If you want to know a specific episode for any of them I will go and track it down for you)

Forgive the limited variety of shows, I only have so many images of people hugging on hand

more words for worldbuilding: senses (pt. 3)

ASPECTS OF PERCEPTION

Physical: burn, hear, smell, touch

AUDITORY

Attribute of hearing: acoustic, deaf, distinct

Attribute of noise: blatant, cacophonous, deafening, dissonant, grating, noisy, piercing, raucous, shrill, soft-spoken, strident, vociferous

Attribute of noisemaking: dumb, mute

Attribute of sound: acoustic, audible, brassy, clarion, deep, dissonant, dull, faint, gentle, gruff, high, hollow, inaudible, low, lyrical, mellow, melodious/melodic, mum, noiseless, noisy, off-key, quiet, raucous, rich, round, silent, soft-spoken, soundproof, subdued, tight-lipped, tuneful, vocal, weak

Audible object: acknowledgment, air, anthem, arrangement, bang, blast, buzz, carol, clamor, clap, click, clump, crash, din, discord, ditty, echo, groan, gurgle, hiss, howl, inflection, jangle, melody, music, peal, psalm, report, rhythm, roar, rumpus, scream, shriek, song, strain, tick, yell

Hearing: attend, commiserate, hear, mind, regard

Sound perception: hearing

OLFACTORY

Attribute of odor: aromatic, fetid, gamy, malodorous, noisome, odorous, rancid, scented, smelly, stinking, sweet, tangy

Object that can be smelled: aroma, breath, incense, perfume, smell, stink, whiff

Odor: cologne, fumes, perfume, smell, stink, tang

Olfactory perception: breathe, nose, smell, whiff

Smelling: scent, sniff, whiff

TACTILE

Attribute of dryness: absorbent, balmy, damp, dry, fluid, juicy, misty, moldy, musty, parched, soaked soggy, thirsty, watery, wizened

Attribute of hardness: adamant, downy, firm, flaccid, hard, impermeable, inflexible, limp, mushy, permeable, plastic, solid, supple, tender, unbending

Attribute of temperature: ablaze, balmy, biting, boiling, brisk, burning, chilly, cold, cozy, febrile, fiery, frigid, frozen, heated, icy, polar, sweltering, thermal, tropical, wintry

Attribute of texture: abrasive, beaten, breakable, bumpy, coarse, cozy, creamy, crumbly, crusty, delicate, diluted/dilute, elastic, fibrous, fine, fleecy, fluff, fuzzy, gelatinous, glossy, gossamer, gritty, irregular, knurled, leathery, lucid, mottled, mushy, oily, paper, permeable, porous, rough, sheer, sleek, slippery, soft, springy, tenacious, thick, threadbare, uneven, yielding

Dryness: drought, humidity, wet

Tactile perception: feeling, touch

Tactile quality: excruciating, numb

Temperature: cold, frost, heat, temperature

Texture: consistency, feel, finish, grain, nap, texture

Touching: brush, dab, finger, graze, handle, lick, meet, nestle, nuzzle, paw, reach, tickle, toothsome, yummy

TASTING

Attribute of taste: acerbic, acid, acrid, astringent, bitter, corrupt, delicious, done, edible, full-bodied, insipid, mouth-watering, peppery, poignant, racy, rich, salty, scrumptious, sour, succulent, tart, tasty, yummy

Taste: acidity, bitterness, savor, tang, zest

Taste perception: taste

Tasting: bite, sample, taste

VISUAL

Attribute of brightness: ablaze, bold, brilliant, colorful, dark, dim, drab, dusky, faded, glaring, glossy, incandescent, light, luminescent, lustrous, murky, obscure, radiant, scintillating, shady, sunny, washed out

Attribute of color: amber, ashen, black, blond/blonde, blue, bright, brown, brunette/brunet, cadaverous, clear, colorful, crystal, dark, deep, dusky, fair, flushed, gay, glowing, gold/golden, gray/grey, hoary, jet, livid, milky, mottled, muddy, murky, opaque, pale, pallor, pasty, pearly, red, rosy, sable, sanguine, smoky, speckled, swarthy, translucent, variegated, vibrant, wan, white, yellow

Attribute of vision: appreciable, clear, conspicuous, disguised, fuzzy, glassy, impalpable, lucid, nearsighted, pronounced, visual

Brightness: dark, gleam, gloom, glow, lamp, light, murk, overshadow, polish, radiate, shadow, shimmer, splendor

Clean: grimy, hygienic, impeccable, mangy, neat, pure, sanitary, slimy, slovenly, spick-and-span, stagnant, straight, trim, unblemished, unkempt, untidy, untouched

Color: auburn, blush, color, decor, flush, glow, orange, pink, red, shadow, stripe, tinge, tone, yellow

Looking: attend, bear in mind, contemplate, dip into, face, fixate, gape, gaze, glare, glower, inspect, leer, lookout, mind, ogle, peek/peep, point, regard, scan, scrutinize, skim, spy, stare, vigil, watch

Occurrence of light: beam, bolt, eclipse, flicker, glare, glimmer, glisten, glow, illuminate, lamp, light, ray, shimmer, spark, spotlight, wink

Picture: arms, caricature, chart, diagram, emblem, facsimile, flowchart, graphics, impression, layout, model, pattern, plaid, portrait, reproduction, scheme, sketch, tableau

Seeing: behold, eye, make out, meet, notice, perceive, remark, sight, view, witness

Visibility change: blur, dim, fog

Visible object: acknowledgment, aspect, beam, buoy, footprint, glare, halo, light, model, panorama, ray, scene, sparkle, track, vista

Visual perception: blindness, perspective, vision

NOTE

Excerpted from Roget's 21st Century Thesaurus, Updated and Expanded 3rd Edition, in Dictionary Form, edited by The Princeton Language Institute.

The above are concepts classified according to subject and usage. It not only helps writers and thinkers to organize their ideas but leads them from those very ideas to the words that can best express them.

It was, in part, created to turn an idea into a specific word. By linking together the main entries that share similar concepts, the index makes possible creative semantic connections between words in our language, stimulating thought and broadening vocabulary. Writing Resources PDFs

Source ⚜ Writing Basics & Refreshers ⚜ On Vocabulary ⚜ Sensory Language

How to Make Your Writing Less Stiff Part 3

Crazy how one impulsive post has quickly outshined every other post I have made on this blog. Anyway here’s more to consider. Once again, I am recirculating tried-and-true writing advice that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice and isn’t always applicable when the narrative demands otherwise.

Part 1

Part 2

1. Eliminating to-be verbs (passive voice)

Am/is/are/was/were are another type of filler that doesn’t add anything to your sentences.

There were fireworks in the sky tonight. /// Fireworks glittered in the sky tonight.

My cat was chirping at the lights on the ceiling. /// My cat chirped at the lights on the ceiling.

She was standing /// She stood

He was running /// He ran

Also applicable in present tense, of which I’ve been stuck writing lately.

There are two fish-net goals on either end of the improvised field. /// Two fish-net goals mark either end of the improvised field.

For once, it’s a cloudless night. /// For once, the stars shine clear.

Sometimes the sentence needs a little finagling to remove the bad verb and sometimes you can let a couple remain if it sounds better with the cadence or syntax. Generally, they’re not necessary and you won’t realize how strange it looks until you go back and delete them (it also helps shave off your word count).

Sometimes the to-be verb is necessary. You're writing in past-tense and must convey that.

He was running out of time does not have the same meaning as He ran out of time, and are not interchangeable. You'd have to change the entire sentence to something probably a lot wordier to escape the 'was'. To-be verbs are not the end of the world.

2. Putting character descriptors in the wrong place

I made a post already about motivated exposition, specifically about character descriptions and the mirror trope, saying character details in the wrong place can look odd and screw with the flow of the paragraph, especially if you throw in too many.

She ties her long, curly, brown tresses up in a messy bun. /// She ties her curls up in a messy brown bun. (bonus alliteration too)

Generally, I see this most often with hair, a terrible rule of threes. Eyes less so, but eyes have their own issue. Eye color gets repeated at an exhausting frequency. Whatever you have in your manuscript, you could probably delete 30-40% of the reminders that the love interest has baby blues and readers would be happy, especially if you use the same metaphor over and over again, like gemstones.

He rolled his bright, emerald eyes. /// He rolled his eyes, a vibrant green in the lamplight.

To me, one reads like you want to get the character description out as fast as possible, so the hand of the author comes in to wave and stop the story to give you the details. Fixing it, my way or another way, stands out less as exposition, which is what character descriptions boil down to—something the audience needs to know to appreciate and/or understand the story.

3. Lacking flow between sentences

Much like sentences that are all about the same length with little variety in syntax, sentences that follow each other like a grocery list or instruction manual instead of a proper narrative are difficult to find gripping.

Jack gets out a stock pot from the cupboard. He fills it with the tap and sets it on the stove. Then, he grabs russet potatoes and butter from the fridge. He leaves the butter out to soften, and sets the pot to boil. He then adds salt to the water.

From the cupboard, Jack drags a hefty stockpot. He fills it with the tap, adds salt to taste, and sets it on the stove.

Russet potatoes or yukon gold? Jack drums his fingers on the fridge door in thought. Russet—that’s what the recipe calls for. He tosses the bag on the counter and the butter beside it to soften.

This is just one version of a possible edit to the first paragraph, not the end-all, be-all perfect reconstruction. It’s not just about having transitions, like ‘then’, it’s about how one sentence flows into the next, and you can accomplish better flow in many different ways.

4. Getting too specific with movement.

I don’t see this super often, but when it happens, it tends to be pretty bad. I think it happens because writers feel the need to overcompensate and over-clarify on what’s happening. Remember: The more specific you get, the more your readers are going to wonder what’s so important about these details. This is fiction, so every detail matters.

A ridiculous example:

Jack walks over to his closet. He kneels down at the shoe rack and tugs his running shoes free. He walks back to his desk chair, sits down, and ties the laces.

Unless tying his shoes is a monumental achievement for this character, all readers would need is:

Jack shoves on his running shoes.

*quick note: Do not add "down" after the following: Kneels, stoops, crouches, squats. The "down" is already implied in the verb.

This also happens with multiple movements in succession.

Beth enters the room and steps on her shoelace, nearly causing her to trip. She kneels and ties her shoes. She stands upright and keeps moving.

Or

Beth walks in and nearly trips over her shoelace. She sighs, reties it, and keeps moving.

Even then, unless Beth is a chronically clumsy character or this near-trip is a side effect of her being late or tired (i.e. meaningful), tripping over a shoelace is kind of boring if it does nothing for her character. Miles Morales’ untied shoelaces are thematically part of his story.

Sometimes, over-describing a character’s movement is meant to show how nervous they are—overthinking everything they’re doing, second-guessing themselves ad nauseam. Or they’re autistic coded and this is how this character normally thinks as deeply methodical. Or, you’re trying to emphasize some mundanity about their life and doing it on purpose.

If you’re not writing something where the extra details service the character or the story at large, consider trimming it.

—

These are *suggestions* and writing is highly subjective. Hope this helps!

Folks, backup your Tumblrs, for real this time

How to Write Strong Dialogue

(from a writer of ten years)

So you’re back in the writing trenches. You’re staring at your computer, or your phone, or your tablet, or your journal, and trying not to lose your mind. Because what comes after the first quotation mark? Nothing feels good.

Don’t worry, friend. I’m your friendly tumblr writing guide and I’m here to help you climb out of the pit of writing despair.

I’ve created a character specifically for this exercise. His name is Amos Alejandro III, but for now we’ll just call him Amos. He’s a thirty-something construction worker with a cat who hates him, and he’s just found out he has to go on a quest across the world to save his mother’s diner.

1.) Consider the Attitude and Characteristics of Your Character

One of the biggest struggles writers face when writing dialogue is keeping characters’ dialogue “in-character”.

You’re probably thinking, “but Sparrow, I’m the creator! None of the dialogue I write can be out of character because they’re my original characters!”

WRONG. (I’m hitting the very loud ‘incorrect’ buzzer in your head right now).

Yes, you created your characters. But you created them with specific characteristics and attitudes. For example, Amos lives alone, doesn’t enjoy talking too much, and isn’t a very scholarly person. So he’s probably not going to say something like “I suggest that we pursue the path of least resistance for this upcoming quest.” He’d most likely say, “I mean, I think the easiest route is pretty self-explanatory.”

Another example is a six-year-old girl saying, “Hi, Mr. Ice Cream Man, do you have chocolate sundaes?” instead of “Hewwo, Ice Cweam Man— Chocowate Sundaes?”

Please don’t put ‘w’s in the middle of your dialogue unless you have a very good and very specific reason. I will cry.

Yes, the girl is young, but she’s not going to talk like that. Most children know how to ask questions correctly, and the ‘w’ sound, while sometimes found in a young child’s speech, does not need to be written out. Children are human.

So, consider the attitude, characteristics, and age of your character when writing dialogue!

2.) Break Up Dialogue Length

If I’m reading a novel and I see an entire page of dialogue without any breaks, I’m sobbing. You’re not a 17th century author with endless punctuation. You’re in the 21st century and people don’t read in the same way they used to.

Break up your dialogue. Use long sentences. Use one word. Use commas, use paragraph breaks. Show a character throwing a chair out a window in between sentences.

For example:

“So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret receipt card, and bring it back before she goes out of business? She didn’t have any other copies? Do I have to leave my cat behind?”

vs.

Amos ran a hand over his face. “So, you’re telling me the only way to save my Ma’s diner is to travel across five different continents, find the only remaining secret recipe card, and bring it back before she goes out of business?”

He couldn’t believe his luck. That was sarcastic, of course. This was ironically horrible.

“She didn’t have any other copies?” He leaned forward over the table and frowned. “Do I have to leave my cat behind?”

The second version is easier to digest, and I got to add some fun description of thought and action into the scene! Readers get a taste of Amos’ character in the second scene, whereas in the first scene they only got what felt like a million words of dialogue.

3.) Don’t Overuse Dialogue Tags.

DON’T OVERUSE DIALOGUE TAGS. DON’T. DON’T DON’T DON’T.

If you don’t know what a dialogue tag is, it’s a word after a sentence of dialogue that attributes that dialogue to a specific character.

For example:

“Orange juice and chicken ramen are good,” he said.

‘Said’ functions as the dialogue tag in this sentence.

Dialogue tags are good. You don’t want to completely avoid them. (I used to pride myself on how I could write stories without any dialogue tags. Don’t do that.) Readers need to know who’s speaking. But overusing them, or overusing weird or unique tags, should be avoided.

Examples:

“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said.

“Why?” Amos growled. “It’s been in the family forever.”

“I’ve lost the secret recipe card, and I can’t keep the diner open without it!” She cried.

“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?” Amos questioned.

“Yes!” Amos’ mother screamed.

“Well, that’s not good,” Amos complained.

vs.

“I’m gonna have to close my diner,” Amos’ mother said, taking her son’s hand and leading him over to one of the old, grease-stained tabletops with the ripped-fabric booths.

Amos simply stared at her, frozen in place. “Why? It’s been in the family forever.”

“I’ve—” she looked away for a moment, then took in a breath. “I’ve lost the secret recipe card. And I can’t keep the diner open without it.”

“The Bacon Burger Extreme recipe card?”

“Yes!” She still wouldn’t meet his eyes, and her shoulders were shaking. “Yes.”

Amos sat down heavily in the booth. “Well, that’s not good.”

The first scene only gives character names and dialogue tags. There are no actions and no descriptions. The second scene, however, gives these things. They give the reader descriptions of the diner, the characters’ actions, and attitudes. Overusing dialogue tags gets boring fast, so add interest into your writing!

So! When you’re writing, consider the attitude of your character, vary dialogue length, and don’t overuse dialogue tags.

Now climb out of the pit of writing despair. Pick up your pen or computer. And write some good dialogue!

Best,

Sparrow

“Nope,” I whisper as I exit out of a fic with no paragraph breaks.

Writing Angry Scenes: Tips to Avoid Melodrama and Make It Real

Anger can be one of the most intense, relatable emotions to read—and one of the trickiest to write. When handled well, an angry scene can pull readers deep into the emotional world of a character, building tension and driving the story forward. But when handled poorly, anger can easily slip into melodrama, making the character’s feelings seem overblown, forced, or even cringe-worthy.

So how can you avoid these pitfalls and write anger that feels real and compelling? Here are some tips to make angry scenes powerful without overdoing it.

1. Understand What Fuels Your Character’s Anger

To write anger authentically, you need to understand its roots. People get angry for complex reasons—fear, frustration, betrayal, grief, and even love. Ask yourself what’s truly driving your character’s anger. Are they afraid of losing control? Do they feel abandoned or misunderstood? Are they hurt by someone they trusted? Anger rarely exists in isolation, so dig into the deeper emotions fueling it.

When you understand the core reasons behind a character’s anger, you can weave those nuances into the scene, making the anger more relatable and layered. Readers will feel the depth of the character's rage, not just the surface heat of it.

2. Show, Don’t Tell—But Don’t Overdo It

“Show, don’t tell” is classic writing advice, but it’s especially crucial in angry scenes. Don’t rely on generic phrases like “She was furious” or “He clenched his fists in anger.” Instead, look for unique ways to convey how this specific character experiences anger. Maybe their voice drops to a deadly calm, or their eyes narrow in a way that makes everyone around them uncomfortable.

That said, showing too much can backfire, especially with exaggerated descriptions. Over-the-top body language, excessive shouting, or too many “flaring nostrils” can tip the scene into melodrama. Use body language and physical cues sparingly and mix them with subtler reactions for a more realistic portrayal.

3. Use Dialogue to Reveal Hidden Layers

People rarely say exactly what they feel, especially when they’re angry. Angry dialogue isn’t just about yelling or throwing out insults; it’s an opportunity to show the character’s deeper thoughts and vulnerabilities.

Consider using controlled, icy responses or unexpected silences. Maybe your character says something hurtful in a low voice rather than screaming. They might express sarcasm, avoidance, or even laugh at the wrong moment. Anger often carries hidden layers, and using these nuances can help your character’s dialogue feel genuine, even haunting, without falling into dramatic clichés.

4. Control the Pacing of the Scene

The pacing of an angry scene can be the difference between a powerful moment and a melodramatic one. In real life, anger doesn’t always erupt instantly; it can simmer, spike, or deflate depending on the situation and the character’s personality. Experiment with different pacing techniques to create tension.

You might build the anger slowly, with small signs that something’s brewing. Or maybe the character explodes suddenly, only to calm down just as quickly, leaving a chill in the air. Controlling the pace helps you control the reader’s emotional engagement, drawing them in without overwhelming them.

5. Avoid Clichéd Expressions and Overused Reactions

When writing anger, avoid falling back on clichés like “seeing red,” “boiling with rage,” or “blood boiling.” These phrases have been overused to the point that they lose their impact. Instead, get creative and think about how your character’s anger might feel specifically to them.

Maybe their skin feels prickly, or their jaw aches from clenching it. Think about details that are unique to the character and to the moment. By focusing on small, unique sensory details, you’ll help readers feel the anger rather than just reading about it.

6. Let the Setting Reflect the Emotion

The setting can be an effective tool to amplify a character’s anger without overstating it. Small details in the environment—such as the hum of a refrigerator, the slow ticking of a clock, or the distant sounds of laughter—can create a sense of contrast or isolation that heightens the character’s rage.

For example, imagine a character seething in a peaceful park or a quiet library. The calm of the surroundings can make their anger feel more potent. Or maybe they’re in a crowded, noisy room where they feel unseen and unheard, which fuels their frustration further. This use of setting can add depth to the scene without the need for dramatic gestures.

7. Let Consequences Speak for Themselves

An effective way to avoid melodrama is to let the consequences of the anger show its intensity. Characters don’t always have to yell or physically react; sometimes, a single choice can convey more than any outburst.

Perhaps your character cuts off a close friend or says something they can’t take back. Maybe they throw away a meaningful object or walk out in silence. By focusing on the consequences of their anger, you can reveal the impact without over-explaining it.

8. Let the Emotion Simmer After the Scene Ends

Anger is rarely resolved in a single moment, and its effects often linger. When writing an angry scene, think about how it will affect your character moving forward. Are they holding onto grudges? Do they feel guilty or exhausted afterward? Does their anger transform into something else, like sadness or regret?

Allowing the anger to simmer in your character’s mind even after the scene ends creates a more authentic and layered portrayal. It shows that anger is complex and doesn’t just disappear the moment the scene is over, adding emotional weight to both the character and the story.