“His Mind Was Indeed My Library, And Whenever It Was Opened To Me I Entered Bliss.”

Her father says her name harsh and angry and firm, divided into four syllables, O. PHE. LI. A, never shouting, and that is somehow worse. 

Her brother says her name quick, like it’s a slur, o phe lia, the syllables blending and blurring together, like he cannot wait to stop. 

The boy who once defined her whole world told her that Ophelia sounds like Ō filia, which means Oh, Daughter in Latin. 

Latin is a dead language, and she is no one’s daughter, now.

Okay, whoever wrote this, I wish I wrote it. Bravo, my friend <3

why are dudes in fanfic always getting hit with freight train orgasms. why not an orient express orgasm, classy and romantic. where are the shinkansen train orgasms? his orgasm hit him like the TGV atlantique breaking the passenger rail speed record. like the shanghai maglev, his orgasm was a feat of engineering but something of a commercial disappointment.

wax seal stamp pngs ♡

I'm starting to accept the fact that I am destined to mainly draw trees and the occasional little Snufkin. So here's the next sketchs, after long hikes everyone needs a rest, even little Snufkin.

I think the real appeal of Mr Darcy isn't that he's handsome, rich and has the whole "redeemable jerk" vibe to him.

I think the real appeal is that he sees the worst in Lizzy and still loves her. He thinks so little of her, feels genuine contempt and still comes out the other side wanting to be with her. It doesn't matter that what he perceives as "flaws" is basically classist bullshit, just the fact that he sees flaws in her and still wants her is enough.

Personally, I won't believe anyone who tells me I'm perfect. I know I'm not and even if I believe they think that of me, I will spend my time dreading the time they figure out the truth and possibly reject me.

But what if someone showed up and already thought ill of me? Even better, someone who believes about me the worst of the things I believe about myself? Someone who thinks I'm lazy and awkward and I talk too much and I spend too much money and I eat more than I should and I can't properly take care of myself? And what if that person also loved me and chose to be with me, because I am so kind, honest, intelligent, funny and artistic that they figure I'm worth their love?

THAT is where the appeal lies. And this aspect of it is perfectly encapsulated in that line from Pride & Prejudice's quasi-adaptation, Bridget Jones's Diary:

so, it's not that we like ill-mannered jerks. We just like the idea that someone would go to such lengths and overcome their own selves to date trashcans like us. What a compliment.

So another interesting thing about Jane Eyre is its take on relationship inequality.

Like, Jane is 18 at the beginning of the story and Rochester is said to be something like 35-38. And it's not casually brushed aside like that was normal back in the day. It wasn't. Concerns about the age gap are raised within the text. But the story emphasizes that Jane feels comfortable accepting Rochester's proposal, despite the age difference, the class difference, and him being her boss, because Jane feels that Rochester regards her as an equal. When they converse, Jane doesn't feel any tension, like she has to impress him or try to read his mind and say whatever he wants to hear. She feels that he respects her and values her thoughts and isn't compelled to use his power against her if she says something to displease him. Around the midpoint of the story, Jane believes that Rochester is going to marry another woman, and resolves to leave because she's heartbroken, believing that because she is poor and plain Rochester can't possibly be as hurt by their parting as she is, and he'll forget her and move on long before she does. But it turns out to be the opposite. After finding out about Bertha, Rochester begs Jane to stay and insists he'll be miserable forever without her, while Jane, still thinking she's too poor and plain to ever attract someone like him again, resists all temptation and leaves him. And she does this specifically because she feels that if she were to compromise her morals and self-respect to be Mr. Rochester's mistress, then he would lose respect for her and the relationship would fall apart. It was only by maintaining her integrity that the relationship could stay in-tact when the reconciled at the end.

St. John Rivers on the other hand, I don't think is given a definite age, but I think he's intended to be a much younger man, probably in his early 20s. He is poor and without relations aside from his sisters or any other connections, just as Jane. Jane finds out they're actually cousins at the same time she learns she's come into a vast fortune that was willed to her rather than the Rivers, but decides to share her fortune equally with them. So she arguably had more social capital, even though she made an effort to put St. John on equal footing with her, because the money was hers by right and she could've presumably cut him off at any time, just as easily as Rochester could've terminated Jane from her job.

And yet, Jane's relationship with St. John is vastly more unequal than her relationship with Rochester. Even though Jane practically worshiped Rochester but only cares for St. John as a brother and is acutely aware of his faults, she still finds herself desperately craving his approval in a way she never did with Rochester. And St. John is willing to exploit that intentionally. He asks her to do things she doesn't want to and make sacrifices for him just because he knows she'll do anything to please him, and that's why he thinks she's the perfect wife for him. Where Rochester tries to explain himself and persuade Jane not to leave him by addressing her concerns, St. John basically tries to command Jane to marry him and refuses to accept her "no" as final. He withholds affection from Jane as a tactic to get her to compromise in order to reconcile with him when he's the one who should be apologizing to her and considering her needs and not just his own. Jane knows that she can't ever be happy with him because he doesn't respect her and his lack of respect only makes her want to seek his approval, which he is all too happy to exploit for his own benefit.

But Jane ultimately stays firm and rejects St. John's proposal of a loveless marriage, just as she rejected Rochester's proposal of an unlawful marriage, because both situations were doomed to fail if she didn't put her own self-respect first.

So this novel from 1847 was really saying that power dynamics aren't pure black and white. Age and class and wealth and status can be a factor in making a relationship unequal, but you can also be equal on pretty much all social axis and still have inequality in a relationship. What's really important is that there's mutual respect.

When Jane says she’s cold while Rochester is holding her hand… and he replies in question, “Cold?”. He can feel she is not, quite the opposite, her hands were very warm (so warm home girl felt feverish and couldn’t sleep all night bc of that stirring passion awakening). The text doesn’t explicitly say this but I think it’s implied. We are reading from Jane’s POV who in this moment is just trying to leave his room bc the feeling of desire is unfamiliar to her at the moment and she wants to avoid it in the present. But the clue lies with Rochester’s reply when he questions her “Cold?”. To Rochester’s silly lil brain Jane saying “I’m cold” translates to “Get away from me you unlovable beast I want to leave now and you’re ugly” in Rochesterian. So he plays along and is like “oh yes yes and standing in a pool! go Jane😐 ( 10/10 acting) obviously Rochester being Rochester does the totally rational thing any normal person would do and leave immediately, go get Blanche and execute plan make Jane jealous. Because waiting until morning to find to your surprise Jane is absolutely down bad simping for you is too long of a wait. Clearly spending roughly a month on this plan is way faster (Rochester math).

Walking My Penguin

i am walking my penguin walking my penguin for a few furlongs walking my penguin no madam that is not a euphemism not a euphemism for anything anything at all.. my penguin requires a little decent gentle exercise so taking my penguin for walkies is great and he is unable to lift weights you ask why well because my particular penguin has flippers you try lifting dumbbells with flippers not recommended.. besides that and perhaps because he has put on a little weight his portly gait means his back is bent out of shape somewhere down there his vintage blubber is stoically marinating.. when i walk my penguin in the cold winter weather he dons woolly neon booties with sucker-soled grips so he does not fall over onto the unforgiving icy concrete penguins feet are so unsuited to negotiate human concrete.. and please do not get me started on why pavements do not have under-heated penguin air-bags so where does all our council tax go terrible i know i know.. i am walking my penguin no madam that is not a euphemism not a euphemism for anything you have asked me that once already that makes no sense at all.. and he never lashes on the lamp posts of dogs he is exceedingly well-mannered he stays in his lane and when he takes a shine to a neighbour he drops an egg in their garden for them alpha-bloke penguins have an extraordinary skill set penguin misandrists really need to visit their shrink-vet.. no offence meant madam i am simply walking my penguin only for a few furlongs after all do you not also walk yours yes i should hope so.. and madam i hope you know you should never let your penguin out on its own common sense is not so common now gangster pedigree penguin-nappers are everywhere they even write stupid songs glorifying it all conceptual double-albums about penguins finding themselves are a rare and treasured find the swirly album art work is always immersive and sublime.. yes i know and alas it is not like the days of yore when you could let your penguin out to relax in a deckchair on strawberryfied-krill summer days in the secure knowledge your penguin would always always remain in completely rude health and super-safe apart from when your penguin suffers the irritating seasonal malady of mildly fatal heatstroke..

Source: Walking My Penguin

I love the duality of Jane Eyre & Crime and Punishment because I can read both in a very serious philosophical/religious view while analyzing the literature thematically and admiring the poetic storytelling/character building and masterful writing by Brontë and Dostoevsky that strikes me to my core.

Then I can take these exact same two books and view them as a silly goofy, feel good comedic reads. Taking the same exact characters I just wrote an essay on analyzing the complexity of their layers/hardships and now I’m calling them drama queens, babygirls and poor little meow meows. The duality… the duality!!

further insane Hamlet research updates: one 19th century scholar, Edward P. Vining was so distressed by Hamlet exhibiting "feminine" qualities that he concluded that Hamlet was actually a princess in disguise who has been raised as a boy by reasons of state and basically launches into this whole fanfic au interpretation (in which princess Hamlet is in love with Horatio).

and like the reasoning for this set up isn't great but I would totally read this YA novel