A Small Pastiche About Shyness 

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

I love that Austen directly tells us first that it wouldn’t matter if Anne had never reunited with Wentworth, because that’s not the reality, and therefore the alternative isn’t even a possibility worth considering:

How she might have felt, had there been no Captain Wentworth in the case, was not worth enquiry; for there was a Captain Wentworth;

…and then that it wouldn’t matter whether he even returned her love or not, because she’d be in love with him forever:

and be the conclusion of the present suspense [of his feelings] good or bad, her affection would be his forever.

…and then that just as whether they had met again or not didn’t matter, neither would the possibility of their never being together (i.e. if Wentworth died or if Anne thought he married somebody else): she would still love him and only him, and no other man:

Their union, she believed, could not divide her more from other men, than their final separation.

And Wentworth, even back when he was trying to distance himself from Anne, believing them both to be indifferent to each other and believing himself to want nothing to do with her anymore, feels the same way about her though he doesn’t realize it:

He had been most warmly attached to her, and had never seen a woman since whom he thought her equal.

Anne and Wentworth had nearly an entire decade to move on, and were basically encouraged to by every circumstance possible… but they didn’t! In fact, Wentworth (who had already been in love with Anne the entire time - “never inconstant”) says that meeting her again, seeing her again, after all this time, has actually made him fall in love with her even more:

I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own, than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you.

Jane and Rochester are my favourite couple hands down but funny enough one of my favourite scenes in the book is their breakup. Not only is it filled with such raw emotions and passion but Charlotte Brontë fed us so much poetic symbolism on their wedding night!!!

1. Rochester bridal carries Jane down the stairs when she felt faint. What stereotypically happens on a wedding night? A groom bridal carries his bride to the bedroom to consummate the marriage. Ironic how it’s reversed… they are descending the stairs and leaving the bedroom.

2. Rochester seating Jane in his chair. His chair symbolizes authority and power. Jane sits in his chair because symbolically she now holds the power and authority over what happens to their relationship. Having Rochester place Jane in his chair foreshadows his realization at the end of the scene that he is in fact powerless, and there is nothing he can do to make Jane stay unless it’s of her own free will. His fate lies within her choice.

3. Again, Charlotte plays with the theme of traditional marriage ceremonies and gives Jane & Rochester reverse wedding vows. Typically in the marriage ceremony there is a vow made followed by an “I do”. Charlotte cleverly uses this but makes it a vow of separation between Jane and Rochester. He pleads to Jane if she really means to go and Jane replies “I do”, then Rochester repeatedly asks if she means it after kissing her to which Jane responds “I do” each time.

4. Rochester’s “I could bend her with my finger and thumb” speech. This whole monologue is full of symbolism as Rochester reasons with himself if physical violence would be his last resort in making Jane stay. Nothing he has said could convince her to yield. He knows he is powerless, though there is one place he still knows he holds more power… in his physical strength. He verbalizes in pretty graphic symbolism what would happen if this option would get him what he wants (Jane) but it won’t do. Even if he got to Jane’s body he wouldn’t have her soul (and that’s really what he wants). He realizes the ONLY way he can have Jane is if her will decides it and this is the moment he finally lets her go.

I watched the movie “Secretary” for the first time last week and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. So obviously, I’m now searching for books recs that are similar to the movie’s themes and all I’m getting are smut novels 😭 Like the bdsm relationship is a big part of it but that’s not what fascinates me about the movie y’know? Basically what I’m saying is I need recs please.

I'm starting to accept the fact that I am destined to mainly draw trees and the occasional little Snufkin. So here's the next sketchs, after long hikes everyone needs a rest, even little Snufkin.

"I like to see flowers growing, but when they are gathered, they cease to please. I look on them as things rootless and perishable; their likeness to life makes me sad. I never offer flowers to those I love." Villette by Charlotte Brontë

Just opened my online shop with some new goodies! I have two new engraving prints, a handful of "patch-pins" (AKA linocut patches turned into pins!), and a few printed greeting cards! I also have a ton of other stuff available, from other linocut prints to some printed sweatshirts.

Take a look!

Me at 14 and me at 22 are having a bonding moment

I think the real appeal of Mr Darcy isn't that he's handsome, rich and has the whole "redeemable jerk" vibe to him.

I think the real appeal is that he sees the worst in Lizzy and still loves her. He thinks so little of her, feels genuine contempt and still comes out the other side wanting to be with her. It doesn't matter that what he perceives as "flaws" is basically classist bullshit, just the fact that he sees flaws in her and still wants her is enough.

Personally, I won't believe anyone who tells me I'm perfect. I know I'm not and even if I believe they think that of me, I will spend my time dreading the time they figure out the truth and possibly reject me.

But what if someone showed up and already thought ill of me? Even better, someone who believes about me the worst of the things I believe about myself? Someone who thinks I'm lazy and awkward and I talk too much and I spend too much money and I eat more than I should and I can't properly take care of myself? And what if that person also loved me and chose to be with me, because I am so kind, honest, intelligent, funny and artistic that they figure I'm worth their love?

THAT is where the appeal lies. And this aspect of it is perfectly encapsulated in that line from Pride & Prejudice's quasi-adaptation, Bridget Jones's Diary:

so, it's not that we like ill-mannered jerks. We just like the idea that someone would go to such lengths and overcome their own selves to date trashcans like us. What a compliment.

“He asked me, smiling, why I cared for his letter so very much. I thought, but did not say, that I prized it like the blood in my veins.”

– Villette, Charlotte Brontë