the feminine urge to kill
fuck hiding your femininity in stem. your sharp eyeliner is a taste of how steady your hands are in lab. your fire outfit demonstrates your attention to detail. normalize being hot and smart
"Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones that I did not.” (ouch)
The secret history by Donna Tart
If We Were Villains by M. L. Rio
love as violence
‘i will tell this story to the sun until you remember that you are the sun,’ erin slaughter // roberto ferri // crimson peak (2013) dir. guillermo del toro // the borgias (2011-2013) dir. neil jordan // hiroshima mon amour (1959), marguerite duras // hiroshima mon amour (1959) dir. alain resnais // ‘boyish,’ japanese breakfast // gone girl (2014) dir. david fincher
please, please and please.
—mothers
ijeoma umebinyuo // hyatt moore // class of 2013 by mitski // i, tonya (2017) // ? // gustav klimt // ? // lady bird (2017) // i remain in darkness by annie ernaux
Edgar Allan Poe by Gina Iacob.
look, i know i'll get through it because i've gotten this far already, but i don't want to. i don't want to continue to work hard, i don't want to push through, i don't even want any reassurance. i just want rest. let me rest. why is rest so hard to come by?
We talk a lot about productivity on studyblr. And seeing what some people accomplish in a single day is absolutely stunning. Like damn you cooked 3 meals, cleaned, studied for 3 hours, worked for 8 hours, took a walk, made espresso, read 3 chapters, AND made a whole painting? Seeing these lists can make you feel lazy or underachieving. I promise you're not. A lot of times you just don't have small "habits" (I can't form habits for some reason so they're more like small, structured items I make a conscious effort to complete daily) that structure your day and mindset. But even if you do, remember that not everyone is 100% every day and some days, you don't do anything and that's ok! Listen to your body!
Firstly, realize that lists like the one I listed are probably exaggerated. I doubt someone can cook themselves a meal while at work and unless they're getting up at 5am, they probably don't have time to get all of that done. This is the first thing you gotta realize. Social media is full of exaggerations and lies. This includes the studyblr community. So don't fall for the expectations that you see here.
Secondly, get a schedule for yourself. Get up at a certain time, make your bed after you get up, go and wash your face. This gets your mind to transition from being asleep to doing things. Wash dishes after you use them. Hang your laundry after you finish it. Put things away after use them. Keep your shoes in the same spot and get a shower schedule going. These small things are hard at first, but get easier as they become more routine.
By doing things immediately, you don't create much clutter and your cleaning time is cut down drastically. It helps so much. Trust me.
Have relax time. I've posted this before because it's IMPORTANT. SCHEDULE YOUR BREAK AND RELAX TIME AND TREAT IT LIKE ANYTHING ELSE. IT'S NOT LESS IMPORTANT.
Find easy snacks and meals! Look at pinterest or Instagram for ideas! Egg and cheese wraps, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, salmon and mashed potatoes, etc. Especially if you work a lot like I do. The majority of my diet is "easy meals" at this point.
Make time for healthy habits. Meditation, yoga, a jog, the gym, running, swimming, reading by the creek, dancing to weird music, just get up and move and give your mind a break. You charge your phone. You need to charge yourself too.
Sleep. Please. Get a full 6-8 hours of sleep. Don't glorify sleeping small amounts. It's not a competition. I hate seeing people compare how little sleep they got, like bro that's like bragging about eating nothing but bacon and potato chips or something. Get sleep. Have a night time routine. Make sleep a sacred night time ritual even. Please. It's good for your body, your mind, your immune system, your skin, your future brain, etc. It can reduce your chances of getting in a car crash even.
Realize that life isn't a race or a competition. Life is something so short and it's meant to be enjoyed and savored. Please do something every day that makes you smile. Do something every day that makes you laugh. Do something every day that makes someone else smile. Live each day like it's the one you'll be remembered for. Spread love and kindness, especially to yourself and make sure you remind those you love that you do every chance you get. At the end of the day, you're living life, not racing in a societal race to be the most accomplished and you need a reminder about that.
yeah yeah yeah girlhood is grief and godhood and cruelty or whatever but also girlhood is your friend telling you what sex is because nobody else will, girlhood is walking you to the nurse’s office when you’re too nervous to go on your own, girlhood is the journal you kept together and hid under your mattress, girlhood is going downtown for the first time by yourselves and sneaking into the PG-13 movie and then going next door to eat french fries, girlhood is coordinating outfits to let everyone know that you’re best friends because girlhood can be love as well
Beware of the barrenness of a busy lifestyle | I write sometimes | 18
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