25. For Janus And Remus?

25. For Janus and Remus?

// warnings for violence, mentions of murder, and vague sexual references. Morally grey Janus and Remus, I guess??? Like, they’re criminals, but like, ethical criminals. Somewhat. jdfnbdvhbfg.

“You’re never going to believe what I did!” Remus shouted, bursting into Janus’s study.

Janus immediately dropped the book he was reading onto his desk and pressed his fingertips together, setting them against his pursed lips.

“I am sure it isn’t going to give me a terrible headache, now is it, dear?”

Remus grinned wickedly. “Oh, you know it will, daddy.”

Janus rolled his eyes. “ Don’t call me that. Tell me what you’ve done.”

“I didn’t do anything too bad,” Remus pouted.

“Just tell me.”

The wicked grin returned, much stronger this time around. “I kidnapped my brother!”

Janus drug a hand down his face and blinked at Remus expectantly. “You’re joking.”

“Nope!”

He groaned. “How come it’s never, ‘let’s explore the ice cream section’? Or 'let’s try and find the cutest dog’? It’s always something horrible. Why? What could have possibly possessed you to kidnap your brother?”

Remus pulled up a chair and flounced down onto it with a dramatic sigh. “The poor bastard was going to be the latest victim in our parents long list of murders. So I kidnapped him before they could.”

Janus frowned, mouth pulling into a grim line. “Your parents were going to... kill him?”

A rare expression of genuine fear crossed Remus’s face until he schooled it back into a grin. “You know how dear ol’ mom and dad are about things. Piss 'em off and--” Remus made a choked noise, slashed his fingers across his throat, and leaned back in the chair as if dead. He peaked one eye open. “I might be a thief and married to a crime lord- I adore you, by the way,” Janus rolled his eyes as Remus blew him a kiss with a sultry look on his face, “and frankly, I’m an awful person, but I don’t want Roman to... ya know. Die.”

Janus nodded slowly. “So you... kidnapped him.”

Remus shrugged. “Our parents probably figured whoever would kidnap Roman would want him dead. Because obviously, they’re dumb enough to believe I’m dead.” Janus snorted. “So I snatched him up and took him away.”

“And where is he now?”

“In the living room!”

“You left... your brother... in the living room. After kidnapping him.”

“Yes.”

“You don’t see anything remotely problematic about that situation.”

“Nope,” Remus said.

Janus sighed. “Oh, I’m sure he’s not frightened out of his mind. I’m sure he isn’t trying to escape right now. I’m sure that leaving him in the living room was the best option.”

“Thank you.”

“Jesus Christ,“ Janus whispered to himself. “Remus-- Come on. Get up.” Janus stood up and Remus followed suit as Janus made his way down the stairs of their house.

In the living room, Roman was laying in the middle of the floor. His wrists were cut and badly bleeding onto the carpet. Orange rope was tossed aside and Roman reached up, snatching a blindfold off of his face. He blinked and met eyes with Janus then Remus. Then, Roman’s red-rimmed eyes blew wide and he stumbled back, smacking against their TV stand.

“Maybe leaving him in the living room wasn’t the best idea,” Remus said thoughtfully.

Janus rolled his eyes. “Astute observation.” He turned his attention over to Roman. “You’re bleeding all over my carpet, darling.”

Roman flinched and pulled his wrists up to his chest. “I...” He looked to Remus. “You’re supposed to be dead.”

Remus grinned. “I’m alive and well, RoRo.”

Roman blinked; he was still trembling and Janus took a step forward, hoping to get a better look at Roman’s wrists, but Roman jerked back so violently, he crashed into the TV stand again and almost sent the television crashing to the ground. Janus raised his hands, like he was approaching a rabid dog.

“Roman. Calm down.”

“Who the fuck are you? Do you work for my parents?”

Janus snarled. “No. Absolutely not. They can rot, for all I care.”

“Does... Are you going to kill me?”

“No,” Remus said. He grinned. “Our parents on the other hand... I’m thinking of some creative ways to maul them! How about you?”

“They told me you died.”

Remus shrugged. “They were wrong. Can’t get rid of me. I’m like a really nasty stomach bug that keeps coming back.”

Janus frowned, but before he could say anything, Roman went on: “They were going to kill me.”

“And I got to you before they could!” Remus said.

Roman flinched again and Janus sighed.

“What Remus is saying is that he recused you.”

“How can I trust you?” Roman asked.

“You can’t,” Janus said simply. He took another step forward. Roman didn’t move, so he kept walking until he was right in front of the trembling man and crouched down. “May I look at your wrists?”

Roman glared. “How do I know you’re not going to kill me?”

Janus shrugged. “I prefer to keep things simple. I am not keen on, as they say, playing with my food.”

“I am!” Remus said.

“Remus, darling-- not very helpful,” Janus said quietly.

“He won’t kill you,” Remus piped in again. “He’s killed lots of people,” Roman flinched and Janus almost interrupted, but Remus carried on, “But he’s my husband and he loves me and since I care about you, he’s not going to hurt you.” Remus grinned. “Twinsies always protect each other, hm? And I’m gonna protect you.”

Roman’s eyes slowly shifted from Remus to Janus who nodded. Hesitantly, Roman pulled his wrists away from his chest and landed them into Janus’s awaiting gloved hands.

Janus offered a gentle smile.

“Okay, Roman. Things are going to be alright.”