Beating Breath Of The Wild In Under 40 Minutes Is An Incredible Feat And Also Fucking Excellent In The

today is bi visibility day ✌️. don't forget to stan bider-man

daily reminder to click a button so you can give free food to a shelter!!

Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.

Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable

At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six 

(while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS 

friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou- friend two: probably

I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED

If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?

student: my calculator is broken teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar

(during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?   student 2: enough

teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans? Student: does Popeyes count?

my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am

we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!

Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants

Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me

Tiz I, Golden Cat

ever wanted to know what your name might be if you were a villain using the common thematic structures of ridiculous DC villains? 

wonder no more.

i am King Egg.

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

i wonder if my pets have like a proper language and when i try to speak back to them im just speaking jargon

like for example my cat always speaks to me when I come home and i meow back to her and she’ll meow again & even though i don’t think twice about it to her it’s probably a situation where it’s like

her, meowing: “im glad you’re home”

me, meowing back: “tax benefits”

her, meowing: “why do u always do this”

The Septic King Third day of @therealjacksepticeye ’s Septicart week. This has been a lot of fun!

I don’t really think I’m that good at anatomy (or females) but this is quite a popular request so… I’m making a tutorial, and this is the part to show you what NOT to do with your fellow humans. More coming… eventually.

I suck at breast variations, but I try; see this page for awesome references: x