Going To Need This Guy's Lawyer

white people go like “is anyone going to redesign this nonhuman evil character as a poc?” and not wait for an answer

Did you know that there's another Chocolate Guy called Kris Zhaokai?

(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

i'm not a lesbian as far as i know and i already have a wife but thanks tumblr

I sat with a crying second grader today. (The age range is outside my wheelhouse but I was the most convenient adult.) He was crying, the other adults said, because his brother took a phone he was playing on. “Phone addicted,” everybody said. “If he would get up and play games with the other kids he wouldn’t be crying.”

He told me everyone lets his brother take things from him because his brother is younger, and doesn’t know better. He told me he doesn’t want to play because he’s tired, he has too many extracurriculars this summer and can’t get good sleep because “everyone in my camper is so loud when I’m trying to sleep.” He’s exhausted and only eight. His mom’s an acquaintance and told me she and the kid’s father are going through a separation — mom and four kids left the house to stay in a camper.

But people will seriously not listen to kids crying over seemingly minor things because on the surface it looks like a tantrum. If kids are given the space to articulate themselves they often will.

no bc the funniest thing on ao3 is how every fandom has personalized the ‘no beta we die like ___’ tag. bc sometimes it’s the most heartbreaking death and sometimes it’s the spilled lasagna from episode 4 and either way I’m dying of laughter

i get so annoyed when people extend a word incorrectly. what do you mean you had a "hugeeeee" burger. dont you mean a huuuuge burger? are you saying "huge-eeeeeeeee" out loud huh??? you start buzzing like a damn mosquito? well i fucking kill those. so watch out

stop holding ya pee for so damn long

can someone please be proud of me like fuck I’m trying