The Most Divorced Man 

I LOVE HORSES

duality

the gang's all here

Here’s a photo of my current oldest Pokémon and one of my closet companions, Mudsdale! He loves to go on walks and rides around the grounds, but recently he’s taken to attempting to adopt other Pokémon that come into his immediate sphere of influence.

At the moment, we’re on our way to return my neighbor’s Dedenne, who she generally lets roam around the countryside… I don’t need a Dedenne eating up my treat stashes for when the Tauros or Doduo act right, so back home she goes!

"meowdy~"

p3 textposts part whatever feat. several ships and also akihiko getting bullied

Doing my quarterly rewatch of the ThirdLife seasons, and I always have to appreciate that Scott’s first instinct in a team survival scenario is to start farming while the person he’s buddies up with goes out and commits felonies.

Scott and Jimmy: Claim a corner and pretend to not have cows

Scott and Pearl: Fine B O N E and grow crops

Scott and Cleo: Claim border/ravine end and make a gay little ranch.

I love to see how, over the course of the series, he and his allies grow from a more relaxed sleeper group to one of the scariest late game forces.

You flinch back slightly as the sparkling wand with frilly pink ribbons around the base of its head knocks on the top of your noggin, the girl’s voice rather puffy and annoyed in a cute way rather than her usual cheery tone.

“What the hell are you doing?” You ask, your inky black tendrils of darkness slowly reconvening around you after having been blown off by blasts of rainbows and sunshine in the battle that ended moments before. “You’re supposed to lock me up, or kill me, or something! The least you could do is brainwash me with some kind of friendship laser to make me want to stop rather than leaving me to work through this while still wanting to burn down cities and slaughter the innocent!”

The girl’s cheeks puff out slightly as her stuffed animal companion, a patchwork lynx, trots over and curls around her chosen magical-mistress. “Well, I wouldn’t have to blast you with so much magic if you could breathe and stop doing bad things! Miss Claws and I will be keeping an eye on you!” The threat shouldn’t have carried any weight, coming from a girl who is easily half of your height and less than a quarter your age, but with how well she fought just a few moments ago, you can’t help but fear what could happen next.

You recoil further, standing to your full height and moving back from the magical girl. Sleek black robes with gold trim materialize over your fitted obsidian-colored armor as you speak. “Fine then, girl… I’ll try to behave.”

The girl gives you a smile before nodding and jogging away without another word. This child can’t be normal… Her face holds a smile, and here eyes still hold a sky-blue shimmer as she moves swiftly away from a rubble strewn street, car alarms blaring and street lamps shredded to bits by your shadow tendrils.

The girl’s Lynx, Miss Claws (How such a powerful magical artifact can stand being referred to in such an idiotic way is beyond you), watches you carefully for a moment before speaking calmly. “You know, that kid will kick your ass any day of the week. Keep your nose clean, and save everyone the trouble of scraping your unconscious body off the ground, alright sweet cheeks?”

You’re a supervillain, and you have never been so utterly beaten. All of your tricks, all of your weapons, completely outdone by a prepubescent girl and a stuffed animal. You’re bracing for the finishing blow when she bops you over the head with her wand. “Don’t do any more bad stuff! …Okay?”

This is a sequel to this post: https://www.tumblr.com/dreemurr00/704943450815070208/writing-prompt-s-youre-a-supervillain-and-you

I didn’t think that I’d be doing a part two, but this has become genuinely enjoyable to write for… I might do art about it, but that’ll be if I actually make a call and finish a project for once in my gay little life.

— — — — — — — —

The man in the button down shirt and the woman in the floral dress stare at each other for a good moment before the man speaks in a firm, almost aggressive tone.

“Use me instead.”

The woman is taken aback, her vibrant orange hair flowing unnaturally like though she’s floating in water as she replies. “I- I can’t do that! I don’t like her being put in these situations anymore than you do, mister Kio, but I can’t just-“

“I didn’t stutter Flower Queen, or whatever the hell I’m supposed to respect you as. I refuse to let my baby girl go out and risk her life any more than she has already. Put me in whatever frilly pink uniform you need, I don’t care, but we’re getting my daughter off of the celestial battlefield.” Robin Kio says, his face unwavering.

The flower goddess can’t help but smile as she sees so much of her newest acolyte and guardian in her father. Stubborn to a fault, and unimposing in stature, but willing to do anything to protect what they care about… the goddess sighs before shaking her head, the smile never leaving her face. “Alright then, Robin… I can try to figure this out, but I can’t guarantee that your daughter won’t still be within the Magical World.”

“Good… so long as I can keep her from danger, even if I just join the fray that she can’t leave, that will be enough.”

— — — — Days Later — — — —

Robin Kio feels cold as he rises from his bed, the air seeming devoid of the unusual life and luster that had taken hold after Amanda was coerced into the Flower Goddess’s grasp.

He goes about his day as he usually would, taking his baby girl to school and reminding her how proud he is to have such a smart, kind, and strong eight year-old under his wing.

On the drive home, Robin notices things in the corners of his vision that he’d never taken the time to see. The way the leaves curve upward towards the slowly falling rain. The way the dogs at the park bound around, leaving dents in the sand where their paws once stood. The way vines of darkness creep out from the shadow of a man walking down the side of the road… Robin commits the man’s face to memory… just in case it comes up later.

After parking his car and entering his home, Robin is greeted not by his usual cozy suburban house, but by a wild mess of torn apart furniture and a pair of big cats snarling at each other in the living room. One of which is a Lynx with patchwork markings of pink and baby-blue along her sliver coat that he recognizes as his daughter’s favorite stuffed animal, Miss Claws. The other big car is unfamiliar, a Lion with silver fur like Miss Claws’ and stitch markings along its spine, though through snarls Robin can make out snippets of a conversation between the two cats.

“I told you, Claws! I don’t know who Lilith sent me to pair with, but she said to come to this house!”

“HA! A likely story! Even a brute like you should know I’m not dumb enough to not know that you’re trying to steal Amanda away to be your partner!”

“Please, I swear I-“

Listening to the conversation, Robin slowly and carefully moves to grab the bat he has mounted on the wall from his baseball days in college… he hasn’t gotten a chance to swing the thing around in a while, but he still knows how to if it comes down to it…

Upon hearing that the lion was sent by the flower goddess, Robin tenses a little before hearing the panic in the larger cat’s voice… why would he be so scared if he was lying like that?

Taking a step forward, keeping the metal slugger at the ready, Robin speaks in a clear voice, overcome with a forced calm. “Which one of you two decided to have your scrap in the middle of my living room. I know the couch was old and kind of ugly, but you didn’t need to shred it.”

Both of the cats look over at Robin as he makes his presence known, and the lion’s eyes instantly light up, his tail raising curiously. Miss Claws rolls her eyes before looking way from both the lion and Robin, speaking with a sharpness in her tone that the man had only heard a few times. “This brute decided to enter the domain I protect. I cannot be blamed for trying to usher him away with due haste.”

“You can, however, be blamed for ruining my furniture and failing to hear him out,” Robin snaps back, the bat in his hands slowly lowering. “Anyway, lion, I think you were sent for me. That flower goddess said she’d try to figure out a way for me to help my daughter to get out of the life threatening danger she’s constantly in… I assume that you’re the solution?”

The lion stands up a little taller, feeling a small inflation in his pride at the mention of his purpose. “Yes sir, I am… there’s no really cozy way to tell you this, but you’re going to be a magical girl from now on.”

Robin gives a small sigh and a nod before approaching closer. “Okay… so can I assume all the same rules apply as do with Amanda and Miss Claws? You shrink down into a little stuffed animal that I carry around with me, and when the going gets tough, you grow again and we do a little dance to put me into frills?”

the lion nods and smiles as the human he’s been paired with seems to catch on fast. “Indeed, sir! Now all that’s left is to give me a name, and the pact will be sealed. I will grant you the strength to achieve your goals, and in exchange, you will help squish evil in the world.”

Robin nods, and Miss Claws can’t help but hold a small look of horror on her face. The man speaks, brushing his hair out of his face before officially signing his contract. “Alright then… I suppose this is an alright agreement… Bernard.”

— — — — — — — —

When you discovered your daughter was a magical girl, you angrily confronted her patron. However, you were surprised to see that they also did not like the fact that your daughter was a magical girl but unfortunately, she was literally the only option they had.

The great thing abt the bowuigi ship is that in the games Luigi has always been characterized as a huge scaredy-cat who gets terrorized by ghosts and monsters, and with Bowser next to him he has scary dog privilege everywhere he goes.

Good for him.