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Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, “Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.”…

Yes, she says, “I remember it well.”

OK, he says, “How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?”

“Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!”

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, “Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?”

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

“Fifty years ago that wasn’t an electric fence.”

Southern Indiana!!

If you are from Indiana reblog this so I can follow you

Fuck yeah she is!!

Sen-s-ual Questionaire

1. How was your first kiss? Tell us about it

2. How often would you have sex in your ideal world?

3. What’s your self-love routine?

4. What makes you feel comfortable during sex?

5. What makes you feel anxious/stressed/nervous about/during sex? (let’s start normalizing these things, we all feel them)

6. What keeps you in the moment while having sex? How do you connect to your body while at it?

7. Where do you like to be touched most? Do you like the touch to be hard/soft/variable/repetitive?

8. Describe your perfect kind of sex in ONE word! 

9. Do you use drugs/other substances to alter your experience during sex? Do you enjoy sex without them as well? 

10. Do you prefer monogamous or non-monogamous (polyamorous/open) relationship styles? 

11. Which kind of sexual encounter sounds most exciting to you right now (hook up/one night stand/threesome/orgy/masturbation etc.)?

12. Do you need emotional connection for sex (to be good)?

13. Describe a sexual/romantic fantasy you had before you had sex for the first time (if you can’t remember, describe one you had a few years ago) and one you have now!

14. Do you like hierachial structures during sex?

15. Do you like to be more dominant, submissive, switch or neutral in sex play?

16. Do you feel supported in your sexual preferences by friends/society/your partner(s)?

17. Do you feel like it’s okay for you to enjoy non-conforming sexual practices/roles in our heteronormative, patriarchic society? Or do you feel like gender roles stand in your way of sexual liberation?

18. Have you ever experienced guilt or shame around your sexuality?

19. Do you enjoy communication during sex or do you prefer to not talk?

20. What sexual/romantic act have you always wanted to try, but haven’t been sure if you’d enjoy it/didn’t know how to do it?

21. Do you feel pleasure in receiving pain?

22. Do you feel pleasure in causing pain to your partner(s)?

23. How do you check in with your partner(s) during sex? How do you establish consent (any fun/playful ways maybe)?

24. Describe the relationship you have to your genitals in ONE word? 

25. Do you enjoy using sex toys? How many do you have?

26. If you could invent the perfect sex toy for you, how would it look like/what could it do (get creative)? 

27. Do you enjoy being restrained/tied up? How does this practice makes you feel/why do you enjoy it?

28. Are you into BDSM? Why do you enjoy it?

29. What has been the funniest sexual encounter/experience you had? 

30. How do you feel about sex in public? Do you like to watch or be watched? 

31. Ever been to a Swinger Club? If no, would you?

32. Do you enjoy cyber sex? Sexting, cam sex, telephone sex etc.?

33. What does your after-sex/after-care routine look like?

34. Have you ever felt so emotionally overwhelmed/physically overstimulated that you cried during sex?

35. Have you ever tried tantra or breathing exercises/meditation during sex? [If not, do it, it will change your life :) ]

36. How do you engage in safer sex? Do you talk with your sexual partner(s) about contraception/STD’s before sex or even at all?

37. What kind of porn do you enjoy? 

38. Do you have any fetishes and if so can you remember, since when you consciously knew of them?

39. Are you happy with your sex life at the moment? If not, what would you like to change about it?

40. How do you define sex (does foreplay/oral/cuddling etc. fall into the definition)?

41. What unconventional sex practices do you find alluring? 

42. Have you ever tried anal play? Did you enjoy it? What made it enjoyable?

43. Is there anything off-limits for you when it comes to sex? If so, what is it?

44. Do you like to be called a specific term during sex (e.g. babygirl, daddy, sir etc.)? Does calling your partner(s) a specific term, turn you on? If so which term it it?

45. How do you navigate disagreements/discrepancies surrounding sex with your partner(s)?

46. Which senses turn you on the most - touch, visuals, sound, smell, taste?

47. What does your sexual routine looks like and what would you do, if you had to do the exact opposite of that?

48. What other life activities can give you an equal amount of pleasure like sex does? 

49. What tip(s) would you give others in regards to having amazing sex?

50. No question, just wanted to leave a little reminder: You are worthy of love. You are worthy of fulfilling your desires. You’re perfectly beautiful and desirable the way YOU ARE. No matter what your sexuality is, how your body looks like (it definitely is beautiful and holy either way), what gender-identity you have, what kind of kinks you have, if you have a partner or how many partners you have, if you like to not have sex, if you have a lot of different sexual encounters or none at all, if you’re in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationship - YOU ARE AN AMAZING HUMAN WORTHY OF LIFE AND LOVE 🖤

Compiled this Sex Questionaire, that is a bit unusual and different, in hopes to make the Tumblr Community a bit more colorful and positive ! Some of these questions are my own, others are inspired by the amazing compilation from Shrimp Teeth, you can find down below. Share and support ! *Please do not remove the caption*

https://www.instagram.com/p/B-uqu26JIO2/

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NSFW QUESTIONS

Pleaseeeeee ask me some of these

1: Kitchen counter, couch, or on top of the dryer? 2: Your last sexual encounter: Good or bad, and why?  3: A fictional person that you think would be good in bed: 4: Something that never fails to make you horny: 5: Where is one place you would never have sex: 6: The most awkward moment during a sexual experience was when: 7: Weirdest thing that ever made you horny: 8: What is the best way to sexually bind someone: 9: What is the fastest way to make you horny:  10: Top or bottom?  11: We were about to have sex but then ________ 12: Is one orgasm enough? Are multiple orgasms necessary? 13: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: 14: Weirdest nickname a significant other has ever called you: 15: Two things you like [or dislike] about oral sex: 16: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:  17: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] 18: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: 19: Who was the sexiest teacher you ever had? 20: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: 21: How big is too big? 22: One sexual thing you would never do: 23: Biggest turn on? 24: Three spots that drive you insane:  25: Worst possible time to get horny: 26: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? 27: Worst sexual idea you ever had: 28: How much fapping is too much fapping: 29: Best sexual complement you ever got: 30: Bald, landing strip, Jumanji: 31: Is it good sex if you don’t nut: 32: Fill in the blank: “If they ____________, we are fucking. 33: What your favorite part of your body? 34: Favorite foreplay activities: 35: Love or Sex? 36: What do you wear to bed? 37: When was the first time you masturbated? 38: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? 39: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? 40: Have/would you ever have sex in public? 41: Have/would you ever had a threesome? 42: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? 43: Have/would you ever masturbate at work/school? 44: Have/would you ever have sex on a plane? 45: What is one song you’d like to have sex to? 46: What is something nonsexual that makes you horny? 47: Most attractive celebrity? 48: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? 49: If a child was born on the occasion of the last time you had sex, how old would that child be right now? 50: Has anyone ever posted nude pictures of you online? 51: What is one thing that NEVER makes you horny? 52: Do you have stretch marks? (How do you feel about them? Has anyone ever had a problem with them?) 53: Do you like giving head? (why/why not) 54: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? 55: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? 56: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? 57: Is there anything you do on Tumblr that you would not like your significant other to see? 58: Do you own any sex toys? (what is it? how long have you had it?)  59: Would you give your significant other unrestricted access to your Tumblr for a day? 60: Would you be offended if your significant other suggested you get plastic surgery? 61: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? 62: Do you watch porn? 63: How small is too small? 64: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? 65: Who gave you your last kiss? Did it mean anything? 66: Would you switch phones with your significant other for a day? 67: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? 68: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? 69: If you could give yourself head, would you? 70: Booty or Boobs? 71: If you had a penis, what would you name it? 72: Have you ever been on an official date? 73: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) 74: If you were a stripper, what would your name be? 75: Have you ever had sex in your parents bed? (Would you?) 76: How would you react if you found out your parents had sex in your bed? 77: What was your reaction the first time you saw a penis/vagina? 78: If you had a penis for a day, what are five things you would do?