Rabbit-with-a-grapefruit-spoon - I Have A Sharpened Spoon

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

You know how kids will just walk up to you then say random shit or observations about you that they’ve made and walk away?

Captain Marvel does that to JL members.

But it’s laced with the wisdom of Solomon so while sometimes it’s normal, childlike observations or facts. Other times it’s shit no living human should or could ever know & before Billy reveals his identity, it actually works in his favor as JL members just chalk it up to the fact that the champion of magic is thought to be thousands of years old and not, like, 8.

But it’s stuff that ranges from childlike (these are real quotes):

- “Oh, I never noticed the color of your eyes, they’re pretty.” (Fairly normal)

- “You have weird bones, have you thought about getting them fixed?” (Slightly more worrying. cracked my back and the kid was very concerned.)

- “Don’t shoot the messenger tomorrow, it’ll shoot you back” (much more alarming. this was said to me with no context at all & the kid just walked away to go back and play with her friends. I don’t know if it’s a quote from a show or smth but that was the entire interaction she wanted to have)

Then there’s the random comments out loud laced with the wisdom of Solomon:

- “I miss the call of the Corythosaurus. It echoed through the mountains beautifully and will never be heard again” “Corythosaurus. Captain, isn’t that a dinosaur? Wait a moment how fucking old are you???”

- “Watch out for the earth trying to swallow you whole. make sure to tread lightly” (there’s gopher holes everywhere outside the zeta tube entrance but wisdom of Solomon won’t let Billy word it out as anything but as unhelpful as it can)

My room has been contaminated, I evacuated to my brother’s room where I will be staying for approximately the next 24 hours until my father, designated spider-killer, returns home. 

Steph: Come on Dami, tell us who's your favorite sibling

Tim: Me. Obviously

Damian: Do you have a concussion right now, or has your caffeine habit finally caused brain damage?

Duke: Yeah unless you all were pulling my leg, Damian tried, and nearly succeeded, to kill you multiple times

Tim: Let me explain-

Damian: This ought to be good

Tim: When I started being Robin, Dick barely talked to me and now he calls me multiple times a week and we go train surfing once a month

Dick: Sorry about that. I was kinda going through....a lot

Tim: No problem. Then Jason damn near killed me and he says I'm his favorite brother. We play Smash Brothers and talk shit about you guys all the time

Steph: It's true, I've been over there a few times. There's also cake and plotting against our enemies

Tim: So I fully expect that Damian either will, or currently does, like me the best. After the second murder attempt I knew I was going to be his best man if he gets married

Damian: Oh No

Dick: What?

Damian: I just thought about it and if I had to pick a best man, it'd be a tie between you and Drake!

Tim: Just accept it. The more you try to hate me, the more you'll love me

In truth all the other octopi just think you’re a right bastard who needs to “shut the fuck up Dave, we know you ate the fish from the tank across the hall nobody cares” and have now stopped associating you as the same species as them.

You are an “eldritch abomination” who is actually just an octopus in an aquarium with a superiority complex.

Dammit you didn’t want to have to deal with your criminal life in sleep too

For as long as you could remember, you’ve been capable of lucid dreaming. Your dreams are always different and wildly creative, with different inhabitants and worlds. One night, you see WANTED notices plastered with your face: the universe’s most wanted galaxy hopper.

I don’t know if anyone has ever done this before but, here ya go… The Different Types of Fanfiction! 

I probably left a few out, but these are the most common, compared to their base fiction’s canon plot. Enjoy! XD

you know those Nefarious Trap Doors cartoon villains are so obsessed with? the ones that lead inevitably to acid-shark-piranha-infested-radiation-lava moats? ok so I appreciate and respect the gimmick, BUT.

I think more swirly slides should be involved

I have a hc that mob eventually picks up on some reigen mannerisms... hes not sure how to feel about this development

What I imagine bowser’s musical moment to be like