I'm In Love With The Way You Always Come Around

gay

gay

Every single conversation they have happens against Alastor's will.

Drawing their outfits is hard, but Vox is harde-

Link Here!

Unpopular opinion: we should all wear masks as much as possible. Forever.

Immuno compromised people were in danger long before 2019. How many people could we have saved, just by masking?

Seriously. Disabled people deserve to live without fear.

We never know if we're carrying a disease or not, since most symptoms only show up after we're contagious.

Very useful in a world with cameras everywhere.

Even if your masking is not perfect, it is still better than nothing. Every step, even the smallest ones, is another layer of protection for immuno compromised people.

Wouldn't it feel good to save a life by doing something so simple?

Thank you and goodnight!

Edit: this is about all mask preventable disease, not just covid.

NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB! NINE'S ICONIC ORB!

Transparent version.

I was thinking recently about how "alt" subcultures are so aestheticized now but they used to be much more about your societal views than the clothes you wore or even the bands you listened to, and my brain connected some dots. Idk if this is anything

Oh no I’m crying again

disasterology

ao3

Dustin and Max were hanging out at Dustin’s house watching The Princes Bride for the fiftieth time since its home release. Claudia got sick of renting it twice a week, she just caved and bought it for the two teens. Mainly so she didn’t have to listen to them argue about what to watch since they both loved it and were practically glued to each other’s sides anyways.  

Just as Princess Buttercup and Westley (who Max insists looks like a younger Mayor Kline) are about to reunite, Dustin says to the room, “I think I have to tell Steve and Robin.” Max whips her head so fast Dustin almost starts rattling off the risk of neck, and head injuries. He quickly decides against it when he realizes how intense she’s staring. “Okay? What the hell’s your problem?” Dustin asks, genuinely confused. 

“Why?” Her eyes narrow in a way that makes Dustin squirm. She has this freaky ability to see right through him, which means there’s no way he’ll be able to bullshit her even if he wanted to.

He sighs and pauses the movie, turning to fully look at Max now. “I got my period at Steve’s, left a big fucking stain on his couch.” He threw his hands up.

“He didn’t have questions?” Max asked with disbelief.

“You know how Steve gets at the sight of blood, he went all Mr. Mom and insisted I was hurt.” He puts on his best Steve voice, “Well Dustin obviously something’s going on there’s blood on you pants, come on just let me see–”

“No!” Max gasps.

“I swear on my Ghostbusters Certificate of Authenticity. It was mortifying, and then Robin got her Robin look. Like she knows she’s missing something, and almost has it, so I came up with a lame excuse about homework and bolted. Haven’t seen or talked to them in three days.”

“Well, you technically don’t have to tell them you could say you actually did have a cut on your ass or something. Seriously though you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to. It’s not anyone else’s business.” She pauses and cocks her head in thought,  “But on the other hand it is Steve and Robin, and honestly I think they’d be safe to tell. And if not, I stole Steve’s bat last week and he’s been losing his mind looking for it.” She’s smirking, and somehow it eases his nerves. 

Telling Max had been easy but it was also heavy. She was still in the hospital two weeks after she opened her eyes after the coma and he just had this burning need to tell her. She almost never knew, and she was too important to him not to know. In response she weakly grabbed his hand, tears in both of their eyes, “Totally tubular dude.” They both laughed and cried together while a confused Claudia came in with edible non-hospital food for them. That was kind of the turning point for the three of them, when they became their own version of family, and eventually Steve and Robin were more or less forced to join them too at Claudia’s insistence. 

His friendship with Max isn’t necessarily surprising since despite her denial about it, they’re both nerds, but it does surprise him how close they ended up becoming. He thanks every deity he can think of that his crush on her died relatively quickly and they were able to become the platonic soulmates that their little adventuring party is weirdly full of. Dustin didn’t really understand why Steve and Robin wouldn’t date until getting closer to Max, and now the thought of kissing Max makes him want to gag, like that’s his sister. So, much to the relief of Steve and Robin he finally dropped it. It was also a pretty good indicator it wasn’t going to work out when Robin came out to all of them. 

Dustin turned his eyes back on the movie, even though his mind was everywhere else. Almost everyone in their friend group knew, he came out to Max first and after that initial confession it got easier and easier to tell everyone else. The fact he kept it from the original party for so long seems so silly in retrospect. They were the first kids that ever made him feel like he was supposed to even when they didn’t realize they were doing it at all. When Will came out to them it was a rush of relief, because while obviously different there was some kinship in it, then one by one it seemed like everyone they were friends with started coming out. He doesn’t care what they say, queer people fucking clearly have a way of finding each other. Steve being the straight anomaly was the only thing that really made sense about their gay little family.

Sensing his continued unease about the situation Max, “Do you maybe want to call Steve and like I don’t know, set up a time to tell them?” She asked.

“What like an appointment?” Dustin laughed, a beat, “Actually that’s a good idea, because they’ve been hanging out with Eddie a lot recently and I want to keep it Scoops Troop and you, if you’ll come.” He gives his best puppy eyes.

“I literally already decided I’m bringing the bat, even if it’s just to annoy Steve,” She shrugs, shoves Dustin a bit and softens her tone, “Of course I’m going to be there, I was already planning on it,” She squeezes his hand. “It’s going to be okay no matter what.”

Dustin sighs, “Let’s hope for their sake, because if not Mom will go apocalyptic, we thought Vecna was bad, but Hawkins will not recover from a Claudia rampage.” He’s kidding of course, but also not. There was a reason they moved to Hawkins in the first place. 

On Dustin’s eighth birthday, he broke down and told his mom how he felt wrong and he didn’t know what to do about it. She did the research, found bars and people like him, who directed her to secret specialists. Which is how Dustin was able to be Dustin. 

When his dad found out however, his mother was beyond shocked at his frankly, traumatizing reaction. Before that, Dustin’s dad was his idol, he was smart and a huge dork, he kept his heart locked up for a long time after that. The night his ‘father’ spit all those horrible names at him, his mother packed them up, found ways to forge his government documents and that was that. He hasn’t seen his dad since, and it’s not like he ever tried to find them or reach out ever again. 

One time he had Suzie’s help locating his dad, finding out he was remarried with new kids, like Dustin had never existed stung of course, but then his mom made his favorite dinner just because, and he realized with her and all his other found family, he didn’t need that piece of shit. Steve and Robin reacting negatively would probably hurt more than being torn apart by a demodog, he guesses. They really took on the role of siblings and losing them would be the worst thing to ever happen to him. 

Dustin grabbed the phone and put it between him and Max so she could hear everything too. “Family Video this is Robin. How can I assist you in bringing the theater to your home?” Robin says with clearly fake sincerity. Max and Dustin snort.

Dustin rolls his eyes, “Yeah its Dustin, but if I need some movie magic you’ll be the first person I ask thanks.”

“Oh thank god what’s up dingus junior?” She audibly relaxes knowing that it’s just one of the kids, and not an obnoxious customer.

The familiarity of Robin’s casual teasing usually was enough to calm Dustin’s nerves, but he was still too keyed up to lean into the comfortability of it all. He awkwardly paused, and Robin to her credit was patient as he tried to find his words. A soft nudge from Max and he was able to, “Uh. Yeah, so I have something I wanted to run by you and Steve if you guys are around later tonight, just me and Max?” There was no answer, which was concerning seeing how Dustin hadn't said anything yet.

“Dustin?” Steve’s voice coming through the receiver, “What’s going on? Is this a code red?” Steve sounded frantic.

“What? Jesus no, I would’ve just shown up if it was that. Like last time. No this is… it’s personal okay? So can Max and I come over later or…?” Dustin twisted the cord around his finger.

“Oh! Yeah, sorry man. Yeah that’s okay. We get done at six so anytime after that come on over.” His voice gets distant, “It’s all good Robbie, nothing to worry about.” Dustin wishes he could agree. “Do you guys need a ride?”

“We’re good, it’s nice enough to bike. Thanks though Steve. Um I’ll see you later then.” Dustin finishes lamely.

“You good man? Sounds like you’re about to upchuck through the phone.” Steve huffs an airy laugh.

“Uh huh. Bye.” He hung up the phone as soon as he finished his sentence. 

Max eyes him, “Smooth.”

Dustin just groans and slumps against the couch in lieu of a response.

***

Both kids are staring at the Harrington door, almost daring it to open itself. After a few more minutes and another nudge from Max, Dustin rolls his shoulders back, takes a deep breath, and knocks probably a little more subdued than he normally would. And going by the concerned and confused look Steve is giving them, the abnormal Dustin behavior is absolutely being noticed.

Or it was until Steve spots his bat at Max’s side, “What the fuck Mayfield? I’ve been looking for that everywhere!” Steve’s pinching his nose with one hand while his other lands on his hip. “I swear to god one of you little shits is going to be the death of me, but for real this time! Is this what you’re being so weird about?”

Dustin sighs and shakes his head slowly, “No but think you could let us in? Would rather not have the whole town hear my business if that pleases his highness.”

“Jesus Christ with the dramatics already,” Steve huffs but still moves aside letting them pass, not before taking the bat from Max and putting it in its spot beside the door. He closes the door and shuffles the kids toward the living room, where Robin is already perched on the edge of the sofa, biting her nails and tapping her socked feet soundlessly against the carpet. 

Seeing the teens walk through, she immediately tucks her hand away, but her feet speed up it seems. “Hey guys!” She says obviously trying for casual which she misses by a mile. It softens Dustin to see, giving him a bit of courage to just get through this. 

With his nerves settled at least a bit, Dustin realizes how silly this whole thing is. It's Steve and Robin for crying out loud, if they can handle inter dimensional flesh monsters, they can handle the fact he’s trans. The new confidence rushes through him, he just starts explaining everything, the flowing it easier than he ever thought they would. As he finishes he feels Max grab his hand again as they wait to see their friends’ reaction.

When he sees them visibly sag with relief at the end of his speech, Dustin calms even more. Doubting Steve and Robin was always a mistake, he sneaks Max a relieved smile, she returns it and pushes her side into his for a brief moment. 

Realization dawns on Robin’s face, “So that’s why you were so weird the other day! Dude you should’ve said, Steve has like the most supplies ever for that stuff, especially since E–” She gets cut off due to Steve elbowing her. Okay... weird Dustin thinks to himself but that isn’t going to stop him from feeling relieved that his friends are extremely normal about this whole thing.

“I honestly thought you’d guys have way more questions. I think Lucas asked questions for forty-five minutes,” Max adds, eyes squinted with a smirk, teasing. “Especially you mister perpetually concussed.”

“Oh come on, give me a break. I am in fact capable of complex thoughts you brat.” Steve throws a pillow at Max as a scowling Robin backs him up and throws another pillow at her.

With the noise of their playful banter the entire group misses the sound of someone descending the stairs, and a groggy voice fills the room. “Stevie, Robin what the hell are you guys doing.” He yawns and stretches completely unaware there are two people in the room then when he left to take a nap earlier. “Baby?” 

Max, confused, whispers “baby?” under her breath with furrowed brows.

Steve is up in an instant, concealing Eddie from the kids’ view. He’s not fast enough because Dustin gets an eyeful of similar chest scars Eddie’s sporting, clearly forgoing a shirt during his nap. He stands wide eyed, and just points at Eddie with his mouth open. 

In retrospect Dustin realizes he probably could’ve reacted better, especially when Eddie starts scrambling to explain the scars and hides himself behind Steve. With words stuck in his throat and not wanting Eddie to shrink in on himself further, Dustin just rips off his shirt, his hat goes flying, and wordlessly points back and forth between himself and Eddie trying to emphasize his non verbal point. Eddie goes slack, mouth dropping open. Eddie is gripping Steve’s arm like it’s the only thing holding him in place and he just stares at Dustin.

“Is this a really fucked up dream or am I actually seeing what I’m seeing?” Eddie says out of breath like he just ran a mile.

“Not dreaming man,” A huge smile takes over Dustin’s entire face. “Holy shit Eddie!” He’s laughing so hard now tears are starting to run down his face. 

Before anyone can get their bearings from the first reveal, Max as it seems has figured out her own realization, “Wait wait wait, Steve and Eddie are dating?” 

Now it's Steve’s turn to blanch, “Um.” He’s looking at Eddie panicking on how he should answer. Lucky for him it seems like Eddie has been brought up to speed and takes the lead on the conversation. 

“Okay so!” He claps his hands in a very Steve-like jock way that unsettles Dustin and Max just a bit more, “To catch everyone up to speed. Dustin and I are trans, yes?” Looking to Dustin to confirm, to which Dustin nods his head vigorously, eyes wide open waiting for Eddie to continue. With that confirmed Eddie’s smile softens, he nods his head too, and takes a breath to continue, “So Dustin and I are trans, and yes Steve and I are dating.”

“You guys can’t be dating! Steve’s straight!” Dustin squawks.

This makes Eddie frown and Robin just scoffs with a sarcastic yeah right under her breath. “Sweetheart you didn’t tell me you were straight.” Eddie whines at Steve jokingly.

Steve barks a laugh, “News to me baby. This whole time I thought I was bisexual I swear!”

Max laughs but Dustin still isn't satisfied, “But… But Steve’s a jock, you can’t date a jock!”

“Jesus Henderson it might work for you but I do not dabble in nerd on nerd romance thank you very much. Besides you wanted me and Steve here to get along, and congrats buddy we get along real well. Don't we Stevie?”

“Mhm,” Steve says with a flirtatious tone, “Some would say that I guess,” and he leans in to give Eddie a quick peck so as to not traumatize his friends any further.  

“If anyone else has anything to confess I think now's the time.” Max adds laughing. Dustin and Max are laughing so hard over the day's revelations, and getting rid of the last of their adrenaline, they miss the teasing looks Eddie and Steve are sending Robin, baiting her into revealing her own relationship with Nancy. Robin flips them off before the kids start paying attention again.

The rest of the night is filled with questions, and stories about transitioning and how Steve and Eddie ended up together. They talk and laugh. Dustin brings up how happy his Mom will be not only for Dustin to have an older friend who understands all the things he goes through, but for her adopted son to have someone love him as fiercely as he deserves. Not to mention that Claudia has known the entire time about both Steve and Eddie, as well as Robin and Nancy. But what Dustin doesn't know won’t kill him.

Bring Me Back to You

AO3 | written for @steddiebingo hop into spring mini event | prompt: time travel | rating: t | wc: 3.6k | cw: language, depictions of death | tags: steve POV, s4 canon divergence, steve harrington may or may not have time travel related powers

Steve looks back at past-Dustin and Eddie in what could be the 10th or 20th time at this point and wills his expression not to break as he knows what happens when he walks away. He’s tried to change it. He’s tried every goddamn trip to find a way to stop the inevitable, to stop Eddie from dying at the end of it. 

But then, he’s right back at Eddie’s body, holding him tight as he bleeds out, and Steve is sobbing as yet another Eddie slips away from him. 

It’s like a goddamn knife to the chest every time and Steve is broken. Hollow. Exhausted. 

But, he refuses to give up. He still gets up every goddamn time and tries again. Keeps throwing himself through the fucking winds of time to try his damndest to save Eddie. He’s lost track a bit of what’s his own timeline and what’s another iteration of the same spring break from hell that he’s trying to change.

------

Before Steve started all this, he pulled Dustin aside and had him explain, in excruciating detail, everything he knew about time travel and how it works. Dustin had obstinately refused to discuss anything until Steve told him what the fuck was going on. 

And, well. Steve was too tired to argue, and he trusts the hell out of this kid.

That’s how Steve ended up showing Dustin Henderson one of the Harrington’s best kept secrets. And how Dustin ends up punching the shit out of Steve for the first time. 

Twenty minutes and an ice pack later, Dustin was sitting slack-jawed in the basement of the Harrington home, digesting the fact that, yeah, Steve’s family had kind of invented time travel. 

“The hell do you mean kind of, Steve? You either do or don’t invent time travel. There’s not really an in between state there!”

Steve had adjusted the ice pack on his shoulder, thankful Dustin hadn’t aimed for his face, because fuck he could not handle another head injury. “I meant what I said. We didn’t really invent it, but we’re credited for it? I guess. We helped stabilize it. Made it somewhat safer. I don’t really know how it all, works man. My parents never fucking taught me shit, just told me not to touch this and not to let anyone in the basement. That’s why I need you to explain to me all your nerd shit about time travel.”

Dustin groaned. “You’ve had this the whole time? Do you know what we could have done with this technology, Steve?” He jumped to his feet, raising his voice. “We could have– fuck, man. The amount of shit we could have changed. We could have avoided all the Russian torture, could have stopped Hopper from– hell, we could have stopped Will and Barb–”

“Dustin! Just stop, man.” Steve yelled, surprising the both of them with the amount of power in his voice. He slumped back against the wall, knocked his head back. “Look, don’t you think I know all this already? Don’t you think that I’ve, like, thought about this? Fucking killed myself agonizing over what I could’ve changed?”

Dustin stared at him. “Then why didn’t you?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Oh, really?” Dustin scoffed. “I thought you didn’t know how it worked. How do you know if it’s not that easy?”

Steve lifted his head back up. “Because – because I know my family and others have used it and it hasn’t always worked out. It–” He stumbled, took a shuddering breath.

“Steve?”

He avoided Dustin’s gaze, focused instead on the simple machine setup across from them. “It sucks the life out of you, or something, man. I don’t really know how it all works, genuinely. But I do know that it takes a hell of a fucking toll on the person using it. Kind of saps them.” He hesitated. “It’s killed people, man.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. ‘S not easy.”

Silence took over then, granted them a few moments of reprieve from the hell that had permeated their lives for the last, like, two weeks, but really, if they’re being honest, the last 3 years. 

Dustin broke the silence, stared inquisitively at Steve. “So why now?”

“What?”

“Why do you want to use it now? What could make you want to risk your own life energy particles or whatever the hell this thing takes?”

Steve had swallowed, dragging his gaze to Dustin. Saw the hurt and pain and fear playing across the boy’s face, felt his own heart breaking at all the fucking shit this kid’s been through. Saw the pick necklace resting across his neck. He locked eyes with, essentially, his brother, because that’s what Dustin’s become over the last couple years. 

“Eddie.”

“What?”

Steve sighs. “I want to save Eddie.”

Dustin’s eyes had widened. “Well. Shit.”

—-------

And that’s how Steve ends up where he is, in whatever number journey this is, staring at a past version of Dustin and Eddie, and hoping to whatever fucking good still exists to let this be the one that works. He doesn’t know how many trips he has left in him, and his own timeline Dustin is begging him to stop trying as he watches the toll it takes on Steve’s already shot to hell body. Steve refuses to stop, and tried, and failed, to pin Dustin down the one time he tried to go in Steve’s place. That’s how they learned it doesn’t work if it’s not Steve, or, maybe, not a Harrington? Unclear. Something to investigate later, when Steve fucking saves Eddie’s goddamn life. 

They still don’t really get how he doesn’t collide with past-Steve in these trips. Steve just knows he shows up and no one acts weird about or points him out as some kind of impostor, and he’s never run into any past-Steve. So, he assumes he just kind of…becomes one with past-Steve, or whatever.

Steve’s brain feels a bit foggy on this current trip as he tries to separate present-Dustin from past-Dustin. He knows and loves them both and wants to protect them the same. It’s really fucking hard not to run up to past-Dustin and shake him and ask him how to fix it, right here, right now, as if this version would have any different knowledge to offer. 

Not like Steve didn’t try a few times. No, he definitely took a few trips to try to talk to past-Dustin and the others, or sometimes just past-Dustin when he realized many of the others were freaking out over Steve time travelling too much, some of them bitching at him to stop. And those were the worst moments to hear because these are his kids, his family, and he’s always going to do anything in his power to protect them, to fight for them. 

The worst thing, though, Steve has learned in all these journeys, is that neither he nor present-Dustin quite know the best way to work the machine, so they never quite know where Steve will end up. 

Sometimes, he’s lucky, and the time travel sets him back far enough that he can change certain events, save some injuries and time, get them prepped quicker. Sometimes, he’s a little less lucky and gets thrown into the middle of the Spring Break From Hell and has to hit the ground running, either saving Max at the graveyard, or tracking down Eddie at Skull Rock, or fighting off bats in the dried out version of Lover’s Lake. 

Other times, he’s shit out of luck and gets thrown in what he considers far too late. Sometimes, in front of Vecna in the Creel house, meaning he doesn’t even get a chance to try and stop Eddie’s plan, just has to fucking fight the monster in front of him and hope they kill him quick enough to save Eddie (they never do). Sometimes, he’s thrown right back into holding Eddie’s bleeding body, and it takes everything in him not to just scream in anger then because it’s like the world’s worst double feature, holding the dying body of a man he’s come to really fucking like over the countless trips. 

This time, though, he starts right here, staring at Eddie and past-Dustin as they prepare the trailer for the “most metal concert, ever” in past-Dustin’s words. 

Steve feels a slight sense of hope in his chest after spending the last few hell trips not able to even see Eddie properly. He lets out a relieved breath, earning a concerned look from Nancy.

Ah, shit. Starting here means he gave the most cringeworthy speech of his life to Nancy Wheeler already. 

Well. 

Not like this trip will be any different, the cynical part of his brain bites out. 

He always hopes he can start the trip early enough to avoid some things, like that conversation. It only took a dozen trips or so for Steve to realize he actually really doesn’t want that kind of future with Nancy. He was just running on adrenaline and old comfortability. Forcing himself to relive the same series of days repeatedly gave him some time to reflect. 

He’s only giving himself minimal rests in between trips for present-Dustin to try to help rejuvenate him with fucking IVs, because holy shit this kid taught himself how to set up an IV somewhere in the midst of all this. He probably learned it from Nancy and a handful of textbooks, but Steve doesn’t question it, because the IV and variety of drugs the Harringtons have stocked in their weird little basement, actually kind of make him feel a bit better before he jumps into another trip. 

But, in those moments of rest, Steve has started talking to present-Dustin about all the muddled emotions in his head, just trying to free up space because his body feels so goddamn crowded and heavy after every journey. He’s tried explaining the feeling to present-Dustin, like he’s got cinder blocks pressing against his ribcage and barbed wire wrapped around his brain and an itchiness in his veins.

Neither of them can figure out why, but present-Dustin is getting increasingly worried. Steve assures him that trying to talk as much of it out after every trip helps lessen the feeling. And, it does. Just…not as much as it did the first few times. Each time, the feelings grow more and more intense, and Steve’s worried he’s approaching some sort of critical mass moment, but he refuses to give up.

He shakes his head, waves Nancy off. “Hey, guys, remember to block the vents inside.”

Past-Dustin turns, his eyes lighting up. “Oh shit, yeah, good call, Steve.”

Steve nods at him, then turns to Eddie to give the same speech he’s given too many times to count. Tells them to be safe, to not do anything stupid, to not be goddamn heroes. He stresses that last bit, pleads with his eyes as he stares into Eddie’s. Tries his damndest to make Eddie see, because he doesn’t have fucking time to hash out the why or to help prepare Eddie anymore than he already is right now when the whole party is waiting on cues to get into action. 

Eddie, blessedly, sees something because he cocks his head to the side and squints his eyes. “Yeah, Harrington, I got you. I mean, neither of us are quite heroes. That’s all you guys.”

Steve’s breath hitches, because that’s not what Eddie says here. That’s not the script. Steve has memorized the script of it all in the marrow of his goddamn bones, and Eddie never breaks it, not unless Steve derails them fully first. 

He blinks, eyes widening slightly as Eddie keeps staring at him inquisitively. “Yeah. Yeah, I just, just want to make sure you both know to stay safe. Don’t do anything fucking stupid, okay?” He hardens his own eyes and takes a step toward Eddie. “That means you, Munson. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t try to–” He stops himself, bites his fucking tongue because he doesn’t have time to talk about time travel right now, my god.

Eddie’s eyes widen as he takes a step forward, his voice dropping an octave. “Don’t try what, Harrington?”

Steve swallows, so many words stuck in his throat, bubbling up in a frenzy to get out and explain to Eddie what’s going on, but he can’t. He can’t tell him that he’s basically being sent off to his 20th or so death in this hellscape. “Just – don’t try anything. Leave when it’s time to leave. Don’t try to buy more time or whatever. We’ll be fine. I promise we’ll be fine. Get pa– get Dustin and yourself out at the second shit hits the fan, okay?”

“Holy shit, you know something, don’t you?” Eddie drops his voice even further, the sound only loud enough to carry between the two of them. He takes another step forward, reaches his hand out and grabs Steve’s arm. “What do you know, Steve?”

Steve blinks back tears at the feeling of Eddie’s hand against his arm, warm even through the layers of his jacket. “We don’t have time, Eds. Just, please. Please don’t try it this time.”

“This time?” Eddie questions. “Stevie, you’ve gotta tell me, because I’m honestly freaking out a little if you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

Steve shakes his head, whispers out, “I can’t, there’s no time. I gotta–” He takes a deep breath, reaches his arms out, and hugs Eddie as tight as possible. He hears a murmurs around him but he doesn’t fucking care. He just needs to feel more of Eddie’s warmth when he can take it before he’s shuttled off into fuck knows where in another trip, another attempt to stop this from happening.

Eddie only hesitates for a second before wrapping his arms around Steve and squeezing him just as tightly. He takes in a few shuddering breaths against Steve’s chest that mimic Steve’s own, but there’s not time to even process whatever the fuck that’s meant to mean. 

“Dingus, we, uh – we gotta go.”

Steve swallows, schools his voice. “Yeah, alright.” He pulls back, holds Eddie by the shoulders, pretends not to see the redness around Eddie’s eyes. “Please, please be there when we get back. Make it out. Survive this bullshit and then we’ll talk, Eds, I promise.’

Eddie stares back. “Holy shit.”

Steve squeezes Eddie’s shoulders once before dropping his hands and taking a step back. “Don’t do anything stupid. Cover those vents. Make it out.” He hesitates as he takes in the way Eddie looks right now, full of life. All covered in battle armor, sans vest that’s probably laying somewhere in the RV or something. The Hellfire Club shirt peeking out catches Steve’s attention, and all he can think about is how bloody and ripped and destroyed it was what feels like 20 minutes ago. 

“Steve. We have to go. Now. You can do whatever this is later.” Nancy bites out, grabs him by the arm and starts to pull. 

Steve laughs, shakes her off. “Yeah, later.” He steps back up to Eddie and zips up his jacket before patting his chest. “I’d hate to see your shirt get ruined any more than it already has. Dustin told me how hard they are to make.”

Eddie sputters out a confused laugh. “Yeah, they are a bitch, but they’re worth it.”

“So are you, Eddie.” Steve smiles sadly. “Worth every shot I take.”

And with that, Steve turns and walks deeper into hell. 

—----------------

They’ve beaten Vecna. Flamed him to a crisp. Right before Nancy would have shot him out the window, Steve runs forward and tackles the bastard to the ground, straddles his chest, and bashes his fucking head in with his bat. It’s only when Robin grips his arm that he falters, lets himself be pulled off. Watches as she throws the last of her molotovs at Vecna’s body. She lets Steve take her lighter, lets him set Vecna’s body ablaze.

“Stay here. Watch and make sure it burns the fuck out.” Steve orders, an iciness to his eyes that neither girl has seen before. He moves to walk down the stairs, get the fuck out of this hellhouse and over to Eddie.

“Wha– Steve, where are you going?” Nancy reaches out and grabs his arm. “What do you mean? You can’t just order us to stay here.”

Steve rips his arm free, his gaze hard and unyielding. “Listen to me. I don’t have fucking time to explain this, okay?” He points to Vecna’s burning body. “Watch that fucker and keep filling him full of lead and fire until there’s not a goddamn shred left of him.”

“Since when do you think you can just boss me – boss us around?”

Steve laughs, venom dripping through it. “What, you mean like how you boss all of us around, Nancy?”

Nancy flinches, takes a step back. “Wha– I don’t boss anyone around.”

“That’s rich. God, Nancy, listen. I really don’t have fucking time for this, so –”

Robin steps forward. “You keep saying that.”

Steve stumbles, voice softening at his best friend. “What?”

“You keep saying you don’t have time for this. Why? What’s happening, Steve?”

He swallows, tries to rip away from her imploring gaze, but can’t. “I think you can figure it out, Robbie. I think you both can, actually.” He takes a deep breath. “Look, I have to go. There’s something I have to check and if I don’t it’s going to eat me alive, so we’ll have this fight later, and I’ll tell you both whatever the fuck you want to know, but please –”

“We’ll make sure there’s not a shred of him left, Steve. Then we’ll meet you at the trailer.”

Steve nods. “Thank you, Robbie.” And he runs out of the house, slips onto a bike, and starts booking it to Forest Hills, hoping to all hell that he’s not going to have his heart broken again.

—------------

This isn’t right. 

Steve slams into the trailer park, throws his bike, and starts running. But, Eddie’s not there. His body isn’t there. 

This is the 20th something trip and Eddie’s body isn’t there. 

Steve refuses to get his hopes up as he runs through the park. There’s no mass of dead bats around where Eddie di– where he usually finds Eddie’s body. There’s a smattering of them around, but not the mass like he’s used to.

He keeps running toward the trailer, trying to squash down the hope that’s bubbling in his stomach. He can’t afford to hope. Not now. Not until he can lay eyes on Eddie’s face again.

What if the bats carried him off the top of the trailer this time? What if Vecna caught on to Steve constantly replaying this week and intervened, took Eddie away for good? 

What if Eddie’s lying broken and bloodied inside trailer this time?

Steve feels tears hot on his cheeks as he makes it to the trailer, bounds up the steps, tries to rip the door open.

It’s locked. 

He laughs. If he wasn’t so fucking nervous right now, he’d be thrilled that past-Dustin and Eddie managed to lock the door against interdimensional bats. 

“Hey, nerds, open the fucking door!” Steve’s voice wobbles as he pounds on the door, tears still steadily streaming. He turns his head down, closes his eyes as he slams his hand into the door over and over and over. “Please – please, guys. Please open this fucking door, I swear to–”

The door swings open. His hand is still hanging in the air, his head still down, and he refuses to look up. He stops breathing, terrified of what he might see, before he’s engulfed in a hug.

In a hug that feels and tastes and smells like cigarette smoke and sweat and leather. 

Steve fucking chokes out a sob, eyes still clamped shut out of fear that this isn’t real, that’s he’s dreaming, or on another journey through time and this is just a different timeline before they fight Vecna. 

It’s not until the person holding him speaks that he loses it completely. 

“You did it, Stevie. You won. You– you saved me.”

Steve shatters, crumples to the ground, bringing Eddie with him. 

“You–you’re here. You’re alive. Oh my go–Eddie, fuck, you–”

“Shh, Stevie. I’m here. I’m alive, man. I made it. You made it. We all made it.” Eddie squeezes him tighter, rubs his hand across his shoulders.

“Steve? What happened? Are you okay? Are the girls–?” Past-Dustin stammers.

“Shit, yeah, Stevie, are the girls okay?”

Steve nods into Eddie’s shoulder. “Yeah, they–they’re fine.” He chokes on another sob, burrows deeper into Eddie’s chest, whispers, “You’re alive.”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I’m still kickin’. Takes more than a demented swarm of bats to take me out.”

Steve whips his head up at that. “You still– you fought the fucking bats?”

Eddie grins. “Sure did. Well, distracted them, more like. And thanks to you, I’m fine.” He pauses for a moment. “The jacket thing really helped. Wish I’d thought of it.” He squeezes Steve’s shoulders, levels him with a hard gaze. 

Steve blinks back a few tears, wipes away the tears and snot from his face. He stares at Eddie for a moment. “You know.”

Eddie nods.

“But–how? I didn’t–”

“That is a question for when we’re not in a hell dimension, my good sir.” Eddie stands, pulls Steve to his feet. 

Past-Dustin pulls Steve into a hug. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I’m glad you’re okay.” He buries his face against Steve’s chest, lowers his voice a bit. “Is it really over this time?”

Steve feels fresh tears brim at his eyes, threatening to spill. “Yeah, Dustin. I think it is.”

tags (open): @sunshine-daydreams0809

divider credit: @saradika-graphics

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okay but why are so many medical professionals focused solely on getting their patients back to their jobs and not actually helping the patient feel better. like you will be literally unable to digest food or eat or do anything and they'll be like "that's not good we gotta get you BACK to WORK!!!!!!!!" and so they drag their heels and take up a bunch of time and give you treatments that don't work or take forever to give you ones that do and when you tell them. hey i still don't feel good the first thing is "BUT YOUR JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

fuck my stupid job. i'm dying. i'm a person not a walking job. help me. a lot of medical professionals will refuse to do their job and instead lecture you about being unable to go to your job instead. unreal.