Hi Hello I’ve Seen Far Too Many People Find Out About The Telegony And Be Devastated That The Odyssey’s

For those of you saddened by the not yet reconciled relationship between Odysseus and Athena in Epic the Musical’s timeline, I’d like to give you some information that could help your heart.

In the Odyssey, Athena holds back the dawn until Odysseus and Penelope are fully satiated with their reunion— since this happens after the timeline of Epic, I personally head cannon her doing this for Odysseus and him afterwards immediately being like ‘yk nvm ur so right Athena this life IS amazing when you greet it with open arms’

And then ghost polities sneezes in the underworld, and he knows all is ok

Odysseus was the original short king

LMAO ‘Don’t tell my mommy, but I’m running away guys >:3’ scene from Telemachus in Book 2

“… My friends! Come on, let us go fetch the rations;

they are ready in the hall.

But quietly— my mother does not know…”

Oh Telemachus you teenaged (early 20s) rebel

(Telemachus to Athena, who is disguised as a man)

“Dear guest, i will be frank with you. My mother

says that I am his son, but I cannot

be sure, since no one knows his own begetting.

I wish I were the son of someone lucky,

who could grow old at home with all his wealth.

Instead the most unlucky man alive

is said to be my father— since you ask.”

TELEMACHUS WHAT? “Since you ask” my ass. This is the first time he’s ever spoken to this man (Athena) and he is laying it all out on him (her).

I know that that’s because this is how the audience learns information but that doesn’t make Telemachus any less mopey. This man is so done with everything, he even tells Athena multiple times that he doesn’t believe Odysseus is alive anymore. BAHAHAH perf. No notes, diva 💅

RIP Odysseus you would’ve loved Betty by Taylor Swift

(Athena, disguised as a man, to Telemachus)

“Tell me now— are you Odysseus’ son? You are so tall!”

✋it’s the way she never misses the opportunity to point out that Odysseus is short

If you don’t understand why Polyphemus (cyclops) was so mad at Odysseus for killing his sheep, just pretend the sheep was a dog and suddenly Polyphemus’s rampage makes more sense