No One Makes My Pussy Throb Harder Than Jean Kirstein

Holy-

New photos from Dylan's upcoming project!

---

In Denial // A Theo Raeken story

Chapter 6

Theo's pov:  (warning, a bit of violence in Theo's pov but none in Ruby's so if you want you can skip theos pov) (also update, Ruby's pov contains some hints of depression, anxiety, and mentions self harm. If you can't read, trust me, i completely understand. It was hard writing. All i want to say is that if you need help, if you are thinking of harming yourself in anyway, please ask for help. My messages are always open if you don't feel comfortable talking to anyone. I Promise i dont judge. Take care. Here is the chapter xoxo)

The dream always starts off the same way.

I wake up in the morgue. The box in which I lay is tight and dark, but beyond my feet, an infinite abyss streches out. I raise my arms over my head and push open the door to the box. It slams into the other boxes on the side and I take my arms out so I can push myself out. The cold metal trey that holds me slides out of the box and two legs, almost like a table, swing out from underneath the trey keeping me from falling on the hard tile floor. I sit up on my trey, finally out of the box and take a breath of fresh air.

The dream Isn't over yet.

I place my bare feet on the tiles and lift myself to a stand. The cool air in the morgue sends chills through my half naked body. I only wear a thin pair of basketball shorts. A woman's voice echos my name throughout the room. It repeats over and over and I get the feeling of it drawing me into it. I start to walk out of the room, pushing open the two swinging doors, but I hesitate. I know what's coming, but everytime I try to fight back, I fail. The voice rings louder as I push the doors open anyway, knowing there's no way out but through her. My sister. 

I walk down to the end of the hallway, each step I take feeding me more fear than the last.

"Theo," the voice gets louder and louder as I get closer to the end. I take a stop once coming to the end of the hallway and in front of the check in desk of the hospital.

"Theo!" The voice growls from behind me. I snap around and see what I dreaded. A teenage girl, about my age,  crawls towards me on her hands and knees. Her gaze pierces through my horrified eyes as I look down at her chest. Her rib cages poke out of her and there is an empty spot in the middle. That is where her heart would be.

This is my punishment. I deserve this for doing it to her.

She finally reaches me and I can't move a single muscle in my body like I've been poisoned by canima venom. My sister drags me down by the heel and crawls on top of me, her gaze not once faltering. The horror on my face spreads to my whole body as I scream at the top of my lungs. She takes her hand and plunges into my center which makes me squirm and scream louder. She digs around in my chest for a second until she pulls out my heart. The blood from the organ drips everywhere as she puts it inside of her own chest. She shouts at me with almost the same power as Lydia, a banshee.

"Helloooo" I hear another voice in my head. I shake my head, finding myself standing in front of Scott's front door, a hand wavig in front of my face.

"Theoooo, you still alive over there?" I nod my head.

"Yeah, sorry I was just thinking." I rub the wrinkles on my forehead caused by my furrowed brows.

"Pretty vivid thought huh? You were blank for a good minute there." She reaches out for my hand. Why is she being so nice to me?

I take her hand in mine and then squeeze it in three short intervals. She smiles at me and we stand there for a good thirty seconds until she finally lets go of my sweaty hand and opens the door.

Everyone is here. Well, everyone that is left. The wild hunt has taken almost everyone in Beacon Hills. Ruby finishes explaining my reason for being here and I step further into the small, tidey home. There are photos lining the walls right when you walk in, like a story. They hang neatly and precise. Some pictures have multiple people in them, some are just some yearbook photos of Scott. Unfortunately, I don't spend long admiring the delicate memories of Scott's family when Ruby pulls my hand and drags me fully into the living room. A tall man stands in the room, and I immediately recognize him, but Ruby takes a minute.

"Who's he?" She asks.

Scott replies, "It's Peter. As in Peter Hale." Ruby's eyes go wide for a second.

"Ohhh. How could I forget? You. Evil bitch."

"Hey, hey, hey. No need for any language Ruby. I'm actually here to help. I know where Stiles is."

RUBYS POV:

Of course I don't completely trust Peter. I never will. Even though, technically, he's my alpha. He's the one who bit me. The morning after Scott got bit. When I started taking morning jogs.

"What makes you think I belive you? What do you want in return?" My voice echos through the silent room.

"In return, I would like you to trust me. You know, I bit you for a reason. I needed a pack. I needed more power. But- but that doesn't matter anymore. All I ask is that you help me help you save Stiles so we can get Malia out too." His eyes are full of sincerity. I feel bad for him. He loves Malia. I know it.

I remember as soon as he found out that she was his daughter, he had some sort of scent to him. I've never smelt it before and it reminded me of pride and happiness mixed together.

"We'll get her out I promise," Scott is the one to speak this time. Peter might be my only chance to see Stiles again. To get him back. I know Lydia feels the same. She probably misses him more than I. I've seen the way the two look at eachother. It's mesmerizing to watch. It's love.

We go through our idea of finding another rip in the two dimensions, the wild hunt and earth. Part of me thinks we have no hope. I feel like I'm the only one who thinks that. Everyone just seems so confident in everything. Especially Scott. That's why after the pack meeting. I go home and take a long, hot shower.

The water burns my skin to the touch when I step into the wet oasis. I left Theo in my room. Unoccupied, which is probably not a good idea, but I don't  acknowledge it at the moment. I'm only focused on the burning feeling. The feeling not only on the surface of my skin, but on the inside. I feel the left over bits of passion from today start to melt away at the heat. My body tenses up, but only for a second. I close my eyes and drift off into bliss. The water running all the way down my bare body. I run my fingers through my hair and breath in the steam that accumulates in the shower with me. My mind starts racing as my body finally gets used to the warmth of the water. I think, what would my life be like if I was only human. What would my life be like without Stiles.

And then the memories flood my head, making me slightly dizzy.

(Once again, warning)

I'm sitting on my bed, a knife in my hand. I remember this day. I was exausted. I had had an anxiety attack in class that day. Everyone looked at me weird when the teacher asked if I was alright. My breaths were shallow but quick. Stiles saw me immediately and dragged me out of class. I remember his voice apologizeing to the teacher. He carries me into the girls locker room, I'm still taking quick breaths. My heartbeat increased by a million from the time I was in the class to the time I was proped up against the shower walls. Stiles had delt with my attacks before but not at school. He gets them too sometimes. He was trying everything to get me to clam down. He squeezed my nose and coverd my mouth, trying to get me to hold my breath. It obviously didn't work. I was squirming everywhere. Until I wasn't moving. The only movement was my chest moving up and down and the water that now coverd my entire body. The water even got on Stiles' clothes. He turned the shower on. The warm water engulfed me like a volcano of relief.

When Stiles walked me down the hallways to the outside of school where the Sheriff's car sat, the bell rang. Everyone in their classes came flooding outside. I was drenched in school locker room shower water and I look like I almost drowned. Everyone stared. Everyone's eyes stayed glued to me as Stiles had to forcefully drag me outside to the ride he called.

Dad dropped us home and Stiles stayed with me until seven. I remember, because immediately after he left my room, I looked at the clock as I pulled the knife out of my drawer.  Every part of me begging to take some of the pain away. I wasn't a wolf yet, didn't even know about that stuff. I didn't want to just get high, partially because I didn't know how to, it was 8th grade. I had made the decision earlier that day. I had had too many embarrassing moments during the three years of my middle school carrier. I couldn't get away from myself.

I lifted my shirt to reveal the scars on my stomach. They were almost gone. I was going to be one month clean tomorrow. Not anymore.

(Okay we good now)

I jolt back to reality in the shower. The water is turning colder the longer I stay inside. I finish my normal shower routine and switch the water off. I grab a towel from its hanger in the bathroom, dry off a bit, and wrap it around my cold body. I look up at the fogged mirror and see a smiley face drawn in the steam and "-T". I let out a giggle.

A giggle, seriously? My inner voice complains. I remember what I'm doing, which is putting clothes on, and do that.

Once im fully dressed im my comfy black leggings, blue tee shirt, and some white ankle socks with a check on the side, I step out of the steamy room. A chill sweeps through me. I quickly race to the thermostat and turn the temperature up a hell of a lot. Theo must've turned it down.

I walk into my room, seeing Theo sitting on my bed. His legs hang off as he faces me. This reminds me of the last time he was sitting like this, a few weeks ago when I let him stay in the spare room.

It's only four o'clock.

"I'm starving," I realize out loud. Theo keeps his gaze on me. For some reason, he seems to be analyzing me. I grab his hand and pull him up so he's standing. "My dad's gonna be home at five, let's get you something to eat."

Once in the kitchen, we rummage through the kitchen for any signs of food. Apparently, nobody in Beacon Hills, no pay check for the Sheriff. That also means no groceries.

I hear the front door creak open and then slam shut.

"Hey, anybody home?" My dad shouts from the living room. I go wide eyed at Theo. Dad's not the biggest fan of this boy who went to hell.

"Yeah, um- wait. I'm not wearing pants!" I shout and Theo shoots me a devious glare. Yep. There's the boy who went to hell.

"Why- Ruby." He takes a deep breath. I'm never gonna live this down.

"Just stay there, dad. Let me go upstairs." Unfortunately for me, the stairs were in the living room. "Can you cover your eyes?" He grunts a response which I take as a yes. I put a finger to my mouth and direct it at Theo. Then I signal him to follow me. He does.

I give it a few minutes upstairs before I come back down. My dad stands awkwardly in the kitchen.

"There's no food." I say. "Wanna order a pizza? It has to be that place outside of Beacon Hills."

Hii again. It's em. How was this chapter?? Also hello new readers ily sm. Ooh i have a questionnn what's your favorite pizza topping? Mine's cheese and extra cheese. Xoxo -em

Wc: wow 2171♡

✩ Buddy Daddies »» END ✩

Always love his smile 😍🥰

In Denial // A Theo Raeken story

Chapter 1

Word count: 505

Ruby and Theo haven't had the friendliest past, but when Theo comes back from hell, all he can think about is her.

The day started off pretty normal. I got up, made my bed, brushed my teeth, and twisted my long, dirty blonde hair into a loose ponytail. That was the only normal part of the day.

My phone made a buzzing noise, signaling me to grab it. The screen lights up with a text message from Liam.

LIAM: Meet me at the clinic.

Confused, I replied to the text.

RUBY: I swear dunbar, if this isn't important im gonna murder you.

I clicked off my phone, grabbed my keys from off the counter, and drove to the animal clinic.

That was when I realized today would not be a normal day.

I opened the door to my new, grey Jeep after switching off the engine. Hopping out, I heard a strange sound from inside the clinic. I shrugged it off thinking it was probably just Liam. Maybe the whole pack will be there. If that's the case, why didn't Scott just text me? Or Stiles? I slowly move over to the door of the clinic, stopping to take a deep breath. The door opens to the pull of my hand and I enter the building. I walk past the small swinging door beside the front desk, hearing Liam's voice. And Hayden's. Before reaching the entrance to the back room, I stop. There are three heartbeats. I continue my journey to the back and when I walk through the doorway, I'm greeted by Liam, Hayden, and, strangely by a smiling figure. I immediately turn around on my heels and a hand grabs me, forcing me to turn back around.

"I know, I know. You don't have to say it. We had no choice." Liam's voice sooths me. I flash him an angry glare.

"What is he doing here." I point to the figure who reacts with a deep, short laugh.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" He starts. "I'm happy to see you."

"Shut up Theo," Hayden blurts. The tension in the room is unbelievable.

Theo and I have a stupid story. When he first came to Beacon Hills looking for Scott's pack, my brother, Stiles, and I knew he was up to something fishy. In the end, we were right. My quest of trying to avoid Theo untimely failed due to Raeken's constant flirtatious conversations. After he got sent to visit his dead sister, I felt regret. I mourned.

For weeks.

Stiles eventually set me straight and made me believe he deserved it. The truth is, nobody deserves that. Not even Theo.

It's strange though, to see him back. It's like he was never gone. But he was, and I know that. I just wonder if the secret he told me before he went to hell was true.

"What is going on?" My voice being the only sound in the room.

"He's gonna help us defeat the ghost riders," Liam stated in a happy tone. Theo hasn't taken his eyes off me since I walked in the room. I also haven't taken my eyes off him.

To all my favorite writers who inspired me to write. (I've already written 3 chapters and posted on Watt but I wanted to post here too.)

@honeystilinski @mf-despair-queen @iwriteanythingicanimagine

#theoraeken #teenwolf #stilesstilinski #codychristian #fanfiction #dylanobrien #scottmccall #tylerposey

stiles: what’s it called when you kill your friend?

scott: murder

stiles: homiecide

Alternatives for Self-Harm

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines

Viciously stab an orange

Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall

Have a pillow fight with the wall

Scream very loudly

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Listen to music and sing along loudly

Draw a picture of what is making you angry

Beat up a stuffed animal

Pop bubble wrap

Pop balloons

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black

Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches

Throw darts at a dartboard

Go for a run

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

Use stress relievers

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc.

Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old short or sock

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself

Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture

Break sticks

Cut up fruits

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

Stomp around in heavy shoes

Play handball or tennis

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing it)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or on your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist

Drip hot candle wax on your skin (please be careful doing this)

Clap your hands until it sting

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Draw in red ink lines where you want to self harm

Take a hot or cold shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with someone

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

Rub liniment under your nose

Rub lotion on yourself

Put tiger balm on the place(s) you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores).

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

Say “I’ll self-harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Colour your hair

Count up to ten getting louder until you’re screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something you’ve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 or 1000

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Colour coordinate your wardrobe 

Play with toys, such as a slinky or play-doh

Go to the park and play on the swings or jungle gym

Call someone

Go “people watching”

Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets

Do school work

Play a musical instrument 

Watch tv or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books or movies

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Doodle on sheets of people

Dress up or try on clothes

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop 

Write out lyrics to your favourite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword 

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self-harm free using pretty coloured paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy

Buy a plant and take care of it

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Browse for forums

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek

Go outside and watch the clouds 

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine 

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favourite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Finish homework before it’s due 

Take a break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube 

Make a scrapbook

Colour in a picture or colouring book

Make a phone list of people you can call for support allow yourself to use it

Pay attention to your breathing (breathe slowly, in through your nose, and out your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can

Take a small step towards a goal you have

Alternatives that are completely bizarre, at least you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming

Laugh for no reason whatsoever

Make funny faces in a mirror

Without turning orange, self-tan

Pluck your eyebrows

Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals

Colour on the walls

Blow bubbles

Pull weeds in the garden  

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely: 

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self-harming 

Draw or paint 

Look at the sky Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming 

Call a friend and ask for company 

But a cuddly toy 

Give someone a hug with a smile 

Put a face mask on 

Watch a favourite TV show or movie 

Eat something ridiculously sweet 

Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head 

Treat yourself to some chocolate 

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do 

Look at things that are special to you 

Compliment someone else 

Make sculptures 

Watch fish 

Play with a pet 

Have or give a massage 

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind If you’re religious, read the bible or pray 

Light a candle and watch the flame (be careful) 

Go chat in the chat room 

Let yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion 

Accept a gift from a friend 

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people 

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles 

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book 

Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages) 

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch tv or read 

 Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared: 

“See, hear, and feel” - 5 things, then 4, then 3, and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and sill calm you down 

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to 

Meditate or do yoga 

Name all your soft toys Hyper focus on something 

Do a “reality check list” - write down all the things you can list about where you are now (i.e It is the 9th of November 2015, I’m in a room and everything is going to be alright) With permission, give someone a hug 

Drink herbal tea 

Crunch ice 

Hug a tree 

Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so 

Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive 

Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards 

Put your feet firmly on the floor 

Accept where you are in the process. 

Beating yourself up only makes it worse 

Touch something familiar/safe 

Leave the room 4/7/8 breathing - breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and breathe out for 8 seconds. 

Repeat until you feel calm. 

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself: 

Think about how you don’t want scars 

 Treat yourself nicely 

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self-harm 

Create a safe place to go 

Acknowledge that self-harm is harmful behaviour 

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it 

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what to do 

Think about how you may feel guilty after self-harming 

Remind yourself that the urge to self-harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time 

Avoid temptation 

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets; wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut 

Be with other people 

Make your own list of things to do instead of self-harm 

Make a list of your positive character traits 

Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you 

Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self-harm 

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW 

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe 

 Notice “choices” vs “dilemmas" 

Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try “what if" 

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about yourself and that you don’t want this 

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns 

The Butterfly project - draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self-harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off, therefore “killing it”. You can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love. 

Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self-harm. When you go to self-harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself. 

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself. 

Make a bracelet out of duct tape, and put a line on it ever day (or ant period of time) you go without self-harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress 

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint 

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut 

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo 

Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick 

Take a small bottle of liquid red food colouring and warm it slightly by dripping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press it’s tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food colour trickle out. 

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made my dropping six or seven drops of red food colour into each of the ice cube tray wells 

Paint yourself with red tempera paint 

‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold but it’s hard to get off) 

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings: 

Phone a friend and talk to them 

Make a collage of how you feel 

Negotiate with yourself 

Identify what if hurting you do bad that you need to express it in this way Write your feelings in a diary 

Free write (write down whatever you’re thinking at the moment, even if it doesn’t make sense) 

Make lists of everything, such as blessings, in your life 

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you can relate to 

Call a hotline 

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but don’t send it if you decide not to) 

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/things that you accomplished/are grateful for/made you smile. 

Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down, you can go back and look at it.

Hotlines:

Suicide Hotlines Worldwide

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines UK

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines USA

Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA)

Child Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA

More:

Feeling Sad? - Masterpost of Links/Websites/Games to visit when feeling sad

100 Reasons NOT to Commit Suicide

More Help/Tips/Advice

“i’ve been feeling so lonely i started filling in the gaps, the spaces, the silences with my own conversation. with my own monologue, my own argument, my own disagreement, the floor is entirely mine and i yield no time to none. it doesn’t make things any better, i just get lonelier.”

— i feel so lonely i’ve begun talking to myself.

“He is beauty, inside and out. He is the silver lining in a world of darkness. He is my light.”

— Marie Lu, Prodigy