“I Don’t Think I Ever Stopped Loving You, Maybe I Stopped Being In Love With You But There Is Always

In Denial // A Theo Raeken story

Chapter 4

A/n: Theo, in this story, came back to beacon hills in junior year.

(3 weeks later)

I walked into school early. By early, I mean it's six in the morning. School doesn't start till seven thirty. Every year on the first day, the pack meets in the library. This year, it's Scott, Lydia, Mason, Corey, and me. Everyone else had gotten caught by the ghost riders. Yeah, it's hard without Stiles. I've talked to him through the radio of his jeep before. My "mom" is still here and she scares the living crap out of me. I think she knows about everything going on. I mean, she knows about the supernatural, but we never told her we know she isn't real. She will sometimes stand in my doorway and stare.

I get the shivers as soon as I think about her.

My walk down to the library is long. I decided to go the inside way. The air outside is too cold, and it's supposed to rain soon. I hear something behing me and pick up my pace, immediately thinking back to the dream I had just a few weeks ago. I take a quick glance behind me before putting my hand on the door to the library. Nobody there.

I try to pull the handle but it wouldn't budge. Sounds of heels clicking in the distance scares me. I turn to the noise and see Mrs. Martin walking towards me, her eyes not swaying away from mine.

"Safe space remember? Library doesn't open until seven." She just walks right past me as she speaks, her voice echoing throughout the halls. Again, I hear another noise from down the hallway. I see what's left of the pack walk down towards me.

"You gonna open the door, Ruby?" Scott asks. I shake my head.

"It's locked." I say. I turn to Lydia. "Your mom locked it. Said it doesn't open until seven."

"Ugh. What?" Lydia groans.

Mason jumps in, "Isn't it supposed to be open for twenty four hours?"

"Yes." I reply. "We can just go into an empty classroom." Everyone nodds at the idea. Classroom it is.

We pick an empty class down the hall, one without any decorations so we know a teacher won't come in later.

"So, we need a plan." Scott announces.

"We have-" Mason gets cut off by Lydia.

"Liam's plan to use Theo sucks. Scott's right, we need a new one."

Speaking of Theo, after the lake we never talked. I have no idea where he went or what he's doing.

I don't "miss" him. How could I? He's not a good person, and I'm glad I haven't seen him again.

After and hour and a half of chatting in the class room, the warning bell goes off, signaling us to go to class. I say my goodbyes and walk with Scott to first period. Ap chemistry.

We turn into classroom 323 and sit in our assigned seats. Thankfully, I got seated next to Scott. Unfortunately, there are three seats to the lab table and when I look over at the name on the index card taped to the front of the table, I sigh. "Of course."

"What was that, Ruby?" Scott asked.

"Look at the name tag," I reply.

Then, like I summoned the devil, he walks in. Smile on his face and everything.

"Here's my name." Theo says, not even looking at the tag, but to me. That dumb smirk still on his face.

It's gonna be a long semester.

After three class, Theo followed Scott and I down the hallway to lunch. Scott has my first three classes with me, thankfully. I might die without him there. I haven't seen stiles in three weeks.

Scott wispers loud enough for me to hear. "Theo stop following us." I can smell the arrogance off Theo right now. He doesn't say anything back, just takes a sharp right turn into the mens room.

When we meet everyone in the cafeteria, they all look at me.

"What?" I ask. Lydia is the first to speak up.

"Girl, we've been seeing Theo staring at you all day." I blush. "Do you like him?!" That makes everyone stare at me even more.

"No, what? Of course not?" After saying that I hear a growl in the corner of my ear. I turn around, quickly, to see who it was, but no one was there.

"Ruby, are you okay?" I heard Scott say to me. He said it low enough so nobody else heard.

"Yeah, just thought I heard something."

After lunch, I go to my locker and get my text book for my last class, forensics. Stiles had that class with me. He was the only one in the pack who was taking it with me.

I opened my locker. As soon as the door came open, a small note fell out. I picked it up and looked around to see if anyone was watching me find the note. I unfolded the small slip of paper and read it.

Meet me under bleachers after tryouts.

We need to talk.

I totally forgot about tryouts today. My 4th year being on the highschool lacrosse team. My last year being on any lacrosse team. I wish Stiles was here. I really miss him.

After I got back from the lake that day with Theo, Stiles called me and said he saw them. The ghost riders. He saw them. I drove over to the school as fast as I could, but Lydia told me I was too late. It took us a whole week and a half to remember him after that day.

My last class ended, finally. I litterly felt like I could die. We didn't even learn about forensics, we just went over some stupid class rules.

I walked to the locker room, catching up with Scott along the way. We didn't talk the whole way. I know he misses Stiles too.

Tryouts went by as normal, we did some drills and did some one on ones. I made first line like last year, and Scott made team captain again. I had almost forgot about the note until Scott asked if I wanted to get celebratory icecream.

"Oh. I'm actually supposed to meet someone." He gave me a funny look.

"Who?" He asked as he slung his lacrosse bag over his shoulder, walking down the hallway of the empty school.

"I actually don't know." He stopped walking and tilted his head slightly. I just kept walking. "Bye McCall." I shouted behind me.

"Bye. Be safe." And with that I went to the field once again, but not for lacrosse.

A figure was already standing under the bleachers. I couldn't see his face that well since coach turned the field lights off. Only the lights coming from the building illuminated the back of the figure. He stepped foward, and i still couldn't see him. It's so dark.

"What do you want?" I asked to the figure, taking more steps towards me. He finally came about three inches away from me. I could finally see the outline of his face, looking up. His height making him tower over my short body. "Theo?"

"We need to talk, Ruby."

"About what? What could you possibly want to tell me that is so important you have to meet me under the bleachers at ten pm?" He smirked.

"I can't stop thinking about you." I rolled my eyes and turned around, but didn't get far. His hand planted a firm grip around my wrist.

"Theo let go. I'm not becoming another one of your little flings. I need to focus on Stiles." He growled and I recognized it from the growl in the cafeteria. I turned towards him.

"Did you mean what you said in the cafeteria?" He asked, his voice suddenly soft.

"Theo let go, please. Your hurting me." He let go immediately after I said it hurt.

"Im sorry." He said soothingly. "But did you mean it?" I sighed.

"Theo I can't be with you. You're the bad guy." His face contorted into confusion. I think I hurt him.

"What about the lake, the- the spare room."

I immediately replied, "I was just trying to be nice. And I regret ever doing it." No, no, no. I don't regret it. I don't.

Theo just sighed and walked off.

"Wait-"

"Ruby, don't talk to me." He never turned back to me, just kept on walking.

Hiii. Again. I kinda like this chapter. Let me know what you think. Love you guys

Xoxo -em

Wc: 1432♡

In Denial // A Theo Raeken story

Chapter 5

School went by like normal for a few days. Occasionally, the average student would be taken by the ghost riders. The population of Beacon Hills was diminishing by a very rapid pace. On Thursday, however, all of the teachers, principal and vice principal, and councilors finally went missing and school was finally shut down. The students knew something was wrong but couldn't quite figure it out. Coach was the only one who went to school on Thursday, and I know that because the pack was there.

"Where is everyone? What the hell is even this? Is there a holiday or something that I wasn't informed about?" Coach followed us down the halls as we walked to the library, desperate for answers on how to stop the wild hunt and the ghost riders.

"No, Coach, everyone is gone," Scott told Coach. "But, we are going to get them back."

"You better McCall. I'm not getting paid." And with that, Coach stormed off into his small office to do god knows what.

As per usual, we didn't come up with a plan that day Now, the Friday sun arose and my alarm clock jolted me awake. I leaned over the side of the bed to click it off. My eyes were still filled with gross morning crusties, which I generously rubbed off.

Downstairs, my dad was making breakfast for us. Just me and him again this morning.                      "Hey, sweetie. I'm making eggs for breakfast." He turned around from the stove and smiled at me.

"No work today?" I ask. He only shakes his head. There's barely anybody left to help. As the sheriff, he swore to protect the citizens of Beacon Hills county. Now that there is no one left, he doesn't have to. 

"I'm going to go for a walk, dad," I shout from the living room after cleaning up after breakfast. I grab my canvas white tennis shoes and walk out the door. My dad knows I can take care of myself. 

I jump into my car and drive to the woods where I usually take my morning jog. These are the same woods that Stiles dragged Scott to before sophomore year. I remember that day so well. Stiles wanted to find this dead body so bad. He was telling me about it all afternoon at home. 

I enter the woods, following my same self-made trail. The trees sway to the soft summer breeze. All I'm wearing today is some black leggings, despite the summer heat, and a plain grey t-shirt from Stiles' closet. I love days like today where it's not too hot and not too cold. I brush my hand against the side of a tree as I walk past it. A laugh is forming inside my chest, something I haven't felt in weeks. The woods is where I feel free.  Ahead of me, I see something on the ground, next to a big oak tree. As I walk closer, I notice it's a boy. He's curled up next to the tree, his back is facing me. 

"Hey, are you okay?" The boy turns around revealing his face. "Theo? What are you doing?" He sits up.

"I have nowhere to stay." Now I feel horrible about saying I didn't care. He finally stands up. "Ruby, what are you doing in the middle of the woods anyways. It's not safe."

"I could say the same to you, Theo." He looks like a stray dog who's been kept outside in the rain. his once fluffy hair is now flat and soaking wet. 

"I can handle myself." He walks past me in the direction I came in. 

"Theo." He stops but doesn't turn to me. "Let me take you to my house so you can get some clean clothes and a shower. You look horrible."

On the car ride home, we say nothing. My dad left to meet Scott. At least thats what the note left in the kitchen says. I lead Theo upstairs and show him the spare bathroom that I call mine.

"Wait here." I walk into Stiles' room, which I haven't done in a few weeks. The room still smells like him. Everything is where it normally is. After my dad uncovered his room, we left the red strings up. They flow from one side of the room to the other, up and down, in all directions. They mesmerize me. I stand in the doorway admiring his detective board, his desk, and his bed.

I remember when Stiles and I were little, before mom died, we would sit on his bed and played action figures and Barbies. One time he lost his Batman figure and we looked for hours to find it. Turns out it was under his pillow the whole time.

I cover my mouth with my hand, trying not to let out a sob. Everyday we waste trying to figure out how to defeat the ghost riders is a day where Stiles is stuck somewhere. Somewhere probably scary.

I feel a pair of hands on my shoulder. They pull me away from the door frame, and one hand lifts off to close the door.

"Hey, it's okay." Theo says. He pulls me into a tight hug. I wrap my hands around his waist as he squeezes me tighter. He kisses the top of my head. I've never felt so protected, so safe.

No, I can't think that. I pull away and look him in the eyes. They shimmer from the bathroom lights that leak into the empty hallway. Which reminds me...

"You need a shower." He laughs.

"Well, now so do you." He walks towards Stiles' room again, opening the door. He lets himself in and picks out a shirt, a pair of jeans, a flannel, and some boxers. He shuts the door behind him and walks into the bathroom. Before shutting the door I hand him a clean towel, and he stops to wink at me. Then he closes the door and a few minutes later I hear the water running. I go back to my room and pick out some clothes to change into. I put on a pair of high waisted blue jeans, a soft, creme colored sweater, and a small gold necklace Stiles gave me last year for Christmas. I pull my hair down from the ponytail I had in and ran my hands through my hair a few times.

Theo takes a short shower, 15 minutes  to be exact. When he's done, we comes back into my room, wearing the new, clean clothes. He carries his towel in his hands.

"Wow," He says.

"What?" I ask him as he sits on the chair next to my desk.

"You look... good." I blush.

"Thanks." I grab my purse filled with my phone, some lip gloss, my wallet, and extra hair ties. "Okay you're coming with." I grab his towel and throw it on my bed. Then, I grab his hand and pull him downstairs.

"Should I be wondering where we are going?" He says as I get in my car.

"Pack meeting." I glance at the clock in my car. It's only 11. The pack meeting is scheduled for 12. "But first lunch. I'm starving and I bet you are too." He nodds his head viciously.

"Yes please."

I drive into the parking lot of my favortie diner, Brandon's. My mouth is watering just thinking about some french fries. Thankfully, Brandon's is right outside of Beacon Hills, so there should be workers.

Theo walks ahead to hold the door to the diner for me. How sweet.

"Thanks," I say.

"Least I could do." He smiles.

"Ruby!" I turn to the counter inside the restaurant.

"Isaac!" I walk over to my friend Isaac who greets me with a smile as per usual. "How've you been?" I ask.

"Pretty good. You know, the usual. Who's thissss? You must be a friend of Ruby's." He turns his attention to Theo.

"I'm Theo, nice to meet you." Theo holds out his hand to Isaac, who shakes it. I've never seen Theo be so polite.

"Yes, nice to meet you too Theo. Anyways, you know the drill Rubs. Sit wherever, someone will help you shortly." I smile and wave goodbye to Isaac who waves back.

Theo and I find a seat near the back. We sit across from eachother.

"Who was that?" Theo asks.

"My friend Isaac. He used to live in Beacon Hills but lives in Orange county, which is only two towns over." He nods.

"Cool."

Our food arrives and Theo immediately scarfs it down. He probably hasn't eaten in days. My burger and fries turns out good as usual. When we are done eating, we drive to Scotts house. Everyone's car is here. The time on the clock reads 12:15. Crap.

"Okay, when we go inside they are going to be a little mad. But that's okay."

"A little?" He ask sarcastically.

"Okay, a lot. But... don't get mad because that will make things worse. You know how they are." He nods. "I need you. Even though I have to hate you." He frowns at that.

"You don't have to," he persuades me. But no, I have to stick with my pack.

"I do. Because your the bad guy. And I hate saying that but it's really hard to trust you. Actually, it's pretty hard for anyone to trust you."

"I know." He puts his hand on top of mine, which rests on the shifter in my jeep. "But, I'm trying to fix that. I need to tell you thank you." I smile. I put the car in park and take my foot off the break. Theo finally lets go of my hand. We both step out of the car and wal to the front door.

"Remember what I said?" I say, more of a statement than a question. He looks at me in understanding.

Chapter 5!!!! Wow okay I have the perfect plot planned and i hope yall like it. Chapter 6 will be up soon.

Xoxo-em

Wc: 1680♡

“I loved him, and I thought, maybe I will never see him again, and I’ll be stuck missing him, and isn’t that so terrible.”

— Turtles All the Way Down, John Green

Alternatives for Self-Harm

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines

Viciously stab an orange

Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall

Have a pillow fight with the wall

Scream very loudly

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Listen to music and sing along loudly

Draw a picture of what is making you angry

Beat up a stuffed animal

Pop bubble wrap

Pop balloons

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black

Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches

Throw darts at a dartboard

Go for a run

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

Use stress relievers

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc.

Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old short or sock

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself

Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture

Break sticks

Cut up fruits

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

Stomp around in heavy shoes

Play handball or tennis

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing it)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or on your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist

Drip hot candle wax on your skin (please be careful doing this)

Clap your hands until it sting

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Draw in red ink lines where you want to self harm

Take a hot or cold shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with someone

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

Rub liniment under your nose

Rub lotion on yourself

Put tiger balm on the place(s) you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores).

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

Say “I’ll self-harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Colour your hair

Count up to ten getting louder until you’re screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something you’ve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 or 1000

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Colour coordinate your wardrobe 

Play with toys, such as a slinky or play-doh

Go to the park and play on the swings or jungle gym

Call someone

Go “people watching”

Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets

Do school work

Play a musical instrument 

Watch tv or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books or movies

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Doodle on sheets of people

Dress up or try on clothes

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop 

Write out lyrics to your favourite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword 

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self-harm free using pretty coloured paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy

Buy a plant and take care of it

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Browse for forums

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek

Go outside and watch the clouds 

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine 

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favourite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Finish homework before it’s due 

Take a break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube 

Make a scrapbook

Colour in a picture or colouring book

Make a phone list of people you can call for support allow yourself to use it

Pay attention to your breathing (breathe slowly, in through your nose, and out your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can

Take a small step towards a goal you have

Alternatives that are completely bizarre, at least you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming

Laugh for no reason whatsoever

Make funny faces in a mirror

Without turning orange, self-tan

Pluck your eyebrows

Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals

Colour on the walls

Blow bubbles

Pull weeds in the garden  

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely: 

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self-harming 

Draw or paint 

Look at the sky Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming 

Call a friend and ask for company 

But a cuddly toy 

Give someone a hug with a smile 

Put a face mask on 

Watch a favourite TV show or movie 

Eat something ridiculously sweet 

Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head 

Treat yourself to some chocolate 

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do 

Look at things that are special to you 

Compliment someone else 

Make sculptures 

Watch fish 

Play with a pet 

Have or give a massage 

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind If you’re religious, read the bible or pray 

Light a candle and watch the flame (be careful) 

Go chat in the chat room 

Let yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion 

Accept a gift from a friend 

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people 

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles 

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book 

Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages) 

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch tv or read 

 Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared: 

“See, hear, and feel” - 5 things, then 4, then 3, and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and sill calm you down 

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to 

Meditate or do yoga 

Name all your soft toys Hyper focus on something 

Do a “reality check list” - write down all the things you can list about where you are now (i.e It is the 9th of November 2015, I’m in a room and everything is going to be alright) With permission, give someone a hug 

Drink herbal tea 

Crunch ice 

Hug a tree 

Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so 

Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive 

Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards 

Put your feet firmly on the floor 

Accept where you are in the process. 

Beating yourself up only makes it worse 

Touch something familiar/safe 

Leave the room 4/7/8 breathing - breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and breathe out for 8 seconds. 

Repeat until you feel calm. 

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself: 

Think about how you don’t want scars 

 Treat yourself nicely 

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self-harm 

Create a safe place to go 

Acknowledge that self-harm is harmful behaviour 

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it 

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what to do 

Think about how you may feel guilty after self-harming 

Remind yourself that the urge to self-harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time 

Avoid temptation 

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets; wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut 

Be with other people 

Make your own list of things to do instead of self-harm 

Make a list of your positive character traits 

Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you 

Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self-harm 

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW 

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe 

 Notice “choices” vs “dilemmas" 

Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try “what if" 

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about yourself and that you don’t want this 

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns 

The Butterfly project - draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self-harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off, therefore “killing it”. You can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love. 

Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self-harm. When you go to self-harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself. 

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself. 

Make a bracelet out of duct tape, and put a line on it ever day (or ant period of time) you go without self-harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress 

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint 

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut 

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo 

Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick 

Take a small bottle of liquid red food colouring and warm it slightly by dripping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press it’s tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food colour trickle out. 

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made my dropping six or seven drops of red food colour into each of the ice cube tray wells 

Paint yourself with red tempera paint 

‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold but it’s hard to get off) 

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings: 

Phone a friend and talk to them 

Make a collage of how you feel 

Negotiate with yourself 

Identify what if hurting you do bad that you need to express it in this way Write your feelings in a diary 

Free write (write down whatever you’re thinking at the moment, even if it doesn’t make sense) 

Make lists of everything, such as blessings, in your life 

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you can relate to 

Call a hotline 

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but don’t send it if you decide not to) 

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/things that you accomplished/are grateful for/made you smile. 

Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down, you can go back and look at it.

Hotlines:

Suicide Hotlines Worldwide

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines UK

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines USA

Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA)

Child Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA

More:

Feeling Sad? - Masterpost of Links/Websites/Games to visit when feeling sad

100 Reasons NOT to Commit Suicide

More Help/Tips/Advice

teen wolf, season 6A: stiles stilinski (3/?)

Nothing will ever reach the cinematic genius of void stiles murdering people in a hospital hallway to the tune of Bad Moon Rising. I’m sorry but television has peaked

“i’ve been feeling so lonely i started filling in the gaps, the spaces, the silences with my own conversation. with my own monologue, my own argument, my own disagreement, the floor is entirely mine and i yield no time to none. it doesn’t make things any better, i just get lonelier.”

— i feel so lonely i’ve begun talking to myself.

TEEN WOLF - Season 1 Episode 1