[As The Synthwave Kicks In, Dan Is Hit By A Jet Of Water From A Giant Lobster Behind Him. He Falls Over

[As the synthwave kicks in, Dan is hit by a jet of water from a giant lobster behind him. He falls over and dissolves into 36 runes. Seconds later, Dan reappears at the site of grace and beats the lobster to death with his bare hands. Cut to Dan standing outside the walls of Leyndell]

In the years between the conquest of Raya Lucaria and the assassination of Godwyn the Golden, it was commonly believed-

Dan Olson Voice: While many have their criticisms of the Golden Order, it can be difficult to question the legitimacy of a regime backed by the presence of a living and visible god. I personally have benefitted greatly from the grace of the edtree through my many rebirths. Immortality is, generally speaking, cool. [Cut to Dan standing outside a shack in limgrave]

But the question on everyone's mind recently has been the problems with that system. "Do the things consumed by empire challenge the purity of its ideals? Does imperialism necessitate a pluralistic society?" These questions are important, but we have some gound to cover before we get there. Let's start with something potentially more difficult to understand, but that will shape our discussion going forward: [Cut to Dan wading shin deep in Liurnia, the Erdtree is behind him]

What is the Elden Ring? Why is it broken? And what --exactly- is the relationship between Lord Radagon and Queen Marika? [Synthwave hook]