Latest Posts by purple-37-bird - Page 3
Made a corn snake stimboard for my awesome friend @poochreon!!
God-damn crucial.
This may just be my experience as an autistic person, but the kids I’ve nannied whose parent’s complain of ‘bad awful in cooperative selfish autistic behavior’ are… Not like that? At all?
Like, for example, I cared for a kid for a while who was nonverbal and didn’t like being touched. Around six years old? Their parent said that they were fussy and had a strict schedule, and that they had problems getting them to eat. Their last few nannies had quit out of frustration.
So, I showed up. And for the first little while, it was awkward. The kid didn’t know me, I didn’t know them, you know how it is. And for the first… Day and a half, maybe? I fucked up a few times.
I changed their diaper and they screamed at me. I put the TV off and they threw things. Not fun, but regular upset kid stuff.
Next time, I figured, hell, I wouldn’t like being manhandled and ordered around either. Who likes being physically lifted out of whatever it is they’re doing and having their pants yanked off? Fucking few, that’s who.
Next time, I go, ‘hey, kiddo. You need a new diaper?’ and check. ‘I’m gonna go grab a new one and get you clean, okay?’ ‘Wanna find a spot to lay down?’ 'Alright, almost done. Awesome job, thanks buddy’.
I learned stuff about them. They liked a heads up before I did anything disruptive. They didn’t mind that I rattled of about nothing all day. They didn’t like grass or plastic touching their back. They were okay with carpets and towels. They liked pictionary, and the color yellow, and fish crackers, and painting. They didn’t look me in the face (which was never an issue- I hate that too, it fucking sucks) but I never had reason to believe that they were ignoring me.
Once I learned what I was doing wrong, everything was fine. Did they magically “”“become normal”“” and start talking and laughing and hugging? No, but we had fun and had a good time and found a compromise between what I was comfortable with and what they were comfortable with. (For the record, I didn’t magically sailor-moon transform into a socially adept individual, either. In case anyone was wondering.)
I don’t like eye contact. It’s distracting and painful and stresses me out.
They didn’t like eye contact either.
Is eye contact necessary to communication? No. So we just didn’t do it.
Was there ever a situation where I HAD to force them to drop everything and lay down on the lawn? No. So the thirty second warning came into play, and nobody died.
“But they never talked!”
No, they didn’t. And they didn’t know ASL, and they didn’t like being touched.
So you know what happened?
My third day in, they tugged on my shirt. 'Hey monkey, what’s up?’ I asked. And they tugged me towards the kitchen. 'oh, cool. You hungry?’. They raised their hands in an 'up’ gesture. 'you want up? Cool.’ and I lifted them up. They pointed to the fridge. I opened it. They grabbed a juice box out of the top shelf, and pushed the door closed again. 'oh sweet, grape is the best. You are an individual of refined taste.’ I put them down and they went back to their room to play Legos.
“But they didn’t say please or thank you!” “But you should be teaching them communication skills!” “But!” Lalalalala.
1. The entire interaction was entirely considerate and polite. I was never made uncomfortable. I was made aware of the problem so that I could help them solve it. There was no mess, no tears, no bruises, no shouting.
2. Did my brain collapse into a thousand million fragments of shattered diamond dust out of sheer incomprehension? No? Then their communication skills were fine. Goal realized, solution found, objective complete. They found the most simple and painless way to communicate the situation and then did it.
Kids are not stupid. AUTISTIC kids are not stupid.
I’m willing to bet real cash money that the real reason the last few nannies had quit had a million times more to do with their own ability to cope, not the kid’s.
To this day, that was the most relaxed and enjoyable job I’ve ever had.
And I know I don’t speak for everyone. All kids are different. All adults are different. But in my time and experience, pretty much 95% of all my difficulties with children come from ME not being understanding enough. Every single “problem child” I’ve worked with turned out to be a pretty cool person once I started figuring out how to put my ego aside and let them set the pace.
Again, not speaking universally, here. I’m just saying. Sometimes social rules are bullshit, you know? People are people
ERIK KILLMONGER DESERVED BETTER
WHICH IS THE POINT. WHICH MAKES IT HURT EVEN MORE.
GODDAMNIT
congrats! you made it through another day!! shits hard!! like, being alive is fucking hard work!! but you did it! !! good job
That autism feel when a) you're so excited about something that you start getting anxious and upset whenever you think about it and b) you were taught not to stim from an early age so you don't know how to properly deal with intense emotions and because of that your excitement turns into bad feelings
Punishment for stimming is BAD.
I don't care if my blog's not popular, if this post reaches one person it'll be one more person helped. I just had a college class in abnormal psychology where the professor taught us that punishment is a workable and useful therapy to "treat" autistic symptoms such as head-banging, biting etc. What he neglected to tell the class is that those behaviors are forms of self-stimulation (aka stimming) which is necessary for most people with autism to regulate their sensory systems. Specifically the above destructive behaviors are forms of overload stimming, in which the person will turn to types of self-stimulation that blocks out whatever is causing them distress in their environment. For example, head-banging and biting cause pain and so the body is forced to process that instead of what's outside, temporarily interfering with their perception of the world to give them a reprieve. To clarify: this behavior isn't good, it's dangerous. The solution is to replace the overload stims with healthier ones, let them remove themself from the situation, and give them coping mechanisms and plans so that next time they don't have to get to overload levels of upset.
The solution is NOT to punish them for overload stimming. They are not exhibiting bad behavior, they are trying desperately to do what their body needs them to do. If you punish them and they stop overload stimming in response, it's not successful learning: it's abuse. They are not stopping because they 'see the error in their ways,' they are stopping because they are afraid of what you will do to them. All punishment works like that, but it is called for when the person does something wrong, not when they are working to do what their body needs because there is nothing wrong with that.
By the way, this is true for non-destructive types of stimming as well. Preventing any kind of stimming is abuse because it prevents people with autism's bodies from working as they should. Instead stimming needs to be accommodated and respected or, if it absolutely must be stopped, immediately replaced with an equally effective option.
To recap: punishment is designed to stop bad behavior. Stimming is not bad behavior because it is an action that people with autism need to do to regulate their sensory systems. It is abuse to punish someone without cause. Therefore it is abuse to punish someone for stimming. Instead find non-destructive stims and solutions that solve the problem without the damaging consequences.
*p.s. if someone is overload stimming they're already really upset. don't make it worse. it's common sense and so easy to do if you care about that person.*
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING OMG
hoi-ate
Quick necessary update on my profile picture:
This picture is from the "knuckles sings" video from the YouTuber Gregzilla, which is where the meme originated from. I don't want to support the Ugandan Knuckles meme because from what I can tell it's racist -- the accent is bad enough, but I've also read that the clicking noises are actually making fun of click-based languages from Africa. I'm white and not an expert, but it seems off to me and I would much rather err on the side of being careful than let my picture sit and possibly hurt people.
However, I think the skin itself is fucking hilarious so if you, like me, want an offense-free way to enjoy this meme go watch the original video that's linked first. Stay safe and be good people everyone!
(p.s. If I find out that the image itself is too connected to racism then I'll take it down. It's just not worth it to hurt people guys.)
THANK YOU FOR THE BREAKFAST THING IT'S SO IMPORTANT
Also to consider:
Jonathan biting his nails, which is canon, as a more acceptable stim
The lack of "typically autistic" behavior like openly stimming because of being bullied, taking care of his mom and brother, dodging his dad's prior abuse, and possibly undergoing harmful ABA therapy in childhood (needing to pass for as neurotypical as possible in order to stay safe)
His confusion when Nancy tells him he's weirder than the bear trap
autistic jonathan and will byers masterpost:
both jonathan and will are always referred to as being “strange” and “sensitive” and are seen to be shy, except for when will is around his friends
both jonathan and will are bullied for being strange
the mouthbreathers who always pick on will’s friend group
steve and his gang saying things like “i didn’t know he could talk” and “i bet he killed (will)”
they both have an audio stim of ‘should i stay or should i go’, will sings it in the upside down over and over to keep himself calm, jonathan listens to it in the car on the way to lonnie’s house, there’s a scene of them literally swaying/rocking together while listening to it
jonathan also makes mixtapes of songs he finds stimmy and gives them to his brother in the hopes that he’ll like them too
jonathan is always hung up on making breakfast A) because his mom needs to eat and he does to and B) because it’s part of his routine and he feels lost without it, his mother works nights and he’s always had to make breakfast for himself and will
will has a special interest in the x men and all of his friends are totally cool with it and just listen to him infodump all the time
jonathan has a special interest in photography and his camera is a comfort item, he loves the weight of it hanging around his neck
after his camera is broken, he goes nonverbal, you can see nancy try to talk to him and he just opens and shuts his mouth like he’s trying to form words but he can’t
he also didn’t realize that his pictures would come off as stalker-y, i’ve seen some posts that are like ‘he did this because he’s a bad abusive stalker and we shouldn’t trust him’ but i believe that he legitimately didn’t know he was overstepping social bounds, but after it was pointed out he felt bad
jonathan also immediately interprets a couple of people screaming/laughing playfully as someone screaming in pain, there is literally an auditory shift between what he hears and what’s “really” happening
will hides a lot because of his autism, he hides in the little cupboard-y thing and castle byers when he gets overloaded or overwhelmed or goes nonverbal, his fort is filled with blankets and drawings and pillows and his mom and his brother both respect his boundaries regarding it because they know how important it is to him
jonathan’s ‘i don’t like most people’ line hit home for me because its an excuse i use, just because it’s easier to say that than to explain that i always feel distant and like an outsider because i am autistic and i’m not wired the same
jonathan also totally has a meltdown when he beats up steve, he acts only through instinct and he can’t calm down until someone stops him, he’s semi verbal afterwards, his voice is so quiet and it’s like he’s struggling to speak and it only happens after someone touches him
he also is touch averse in other situations, like when hopper playfully grabs him and punches his arm, he looks so jarred. he also does anything he can to get away from lonnie when he hugs him
jonathan has a shutdown after they find “will’s” body,
he listens to the music that calms him down, and cries, and hugs himself, which is a good pressure stim
legit i do that all the time when i get overwhelmed, i just squeeze myself and listen to music and cry until it’s passed
jonathan can read people, but it just takes time to process what he’s seen
he talks about how he can see how people feel in his pictures, but not when he sees them out in the world
but he’s not perfect at it: he makes a huge mistake in his read on nancy and she corrects him for it
also, just how jonathan holds himself, he never makes eye contact, he’s sort of hunched forward and speaks quietly, he keeps his hair in his eyes and he has a naturally blank expression that people sometimes find creepy
that’s really it, sorry this post is so long i’m just !! very excited about these headcanons/analyses of these characters!! feel free to add on if you want to!
I’m so happy about the new games.
Amazing
PSA
You feel like shit is a website set up to help you get out of that funk/improve things just enough to not feel horrible and miserable all the time. It’s amazing.
Whether you struggle with mental health problems all the time or whether this is a new/temporary state for you, this guide is an easy and judgement-free self-care tool.
PLEASE TRY IT OUT! Really! You just click through the questions to answer and follow simple instructions that in the end, ideally, will help you to feel more comfortable and stable on a daily basis.
Good luck! Have fun!
What inspired the lyrics for your beautiful song Changeling?
Changeling was inspired by my own experience as an autistic person, though in a more fantastical and exaggerated way. Changeling myths began as a result of people not understanding their disabled and neurodivergent children, mistaking differences in behavior as signs of possession or a human child being replaced by a fairy child. It’s morbid, but I’ve always been interested in Changelings since I heard about them as a child. I have a lot of experiences of feeling like an outsider growing up, being very different than my family and the other people I knew. These experiences finally made sense to me only as an adult after researching ASD and realizing where I fit on the spectrum, so the song reflects that experience.
I’m really happy to see in the tags of the song how many autistic people related to it, even without me saying that’s what it was about. :) I’m also happy that allistic people could listen and relate to it as well! Because everyone’s felt like an outsider at some point, and I wrote it for all of us. But yeah, that’s what it was about.
Changeling by PhemieC.
An Original Song. About feeling different and strange and even a little scary, but still ok. Recorded on my phone in one take so it’s very rough and I’ll make a nicer version at some point probably. Until then Enjoy. :)
Download at Tindeck.
~
Still crying after ten She’s paler then the day before Can she hear us? Does she know we’re watching her? We’re taking notes. We’re asking the hard questions. Is she ours? Where is she from? I cannot say I recognize her face. Sure I didn’t look like that or act so strange when I was her age. So quiet, but so much rage she broke another toy today teacher told us no one tries to play with her at recess but she doesn’t even notice isn’t talking yet, instead she sits outside drawing symbols in the dirt Haven’t seen her walk in days but she’s always somewhere different when you turn I think I am a changeling I was born with long dark hair, the nurse was scared, I didn’t cry but I was teething I think I am a changeling I broke open all the eggs ‘cause I heard baby birds inside and they were screaming So far I cannot see a family resemblance but something in her reminds me of a story I heard as a child in the dark can’t explain the milk we found under her bed, or the earthworms in her hair can’t explain the feeling I’ve forgotten some important thing somewhere… I think I am a changeling I was born with little claws instead of nails and I was pale and barely breathing I think I am a changeling I broke the mirror because the me who wasn’t me inside was shaking, she was seething, she was screaming Oh, changeling you will find your home some day your friends among the fairies your family with the fae
~
‘I’m cold!’
‘….wear sleeves!’
hey so protip if you have abusive parents and need to get around the house as quietly as possible, stay close to furniture and other heavy stuff because the floor is settled there and it’s less likely to creak
Taken from the Niflheim labs and raised as the heir to the throne under a strict hand, young Prompto spend the early years of his life confined to the palace reading about far off lands and interesting creatures across Eos.
For the first time in his life, at the age of 20, Prince Prompto Aldercapt leaves Niflheim. With the company of his father the Emperor and Chancellor Izunia, they travel to Insomnia under the guise of a possible peace treaty with King Regis. Prompto believes his father and the Chancellor have other plans in mind.
Niflheim Prince Prompto AU - Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3/ Part 4
Amidst the rubble of the Kingsman tailor shop, Eggsy and Mark Strong’s Merlin — two of the only people to survive the high-stakes hit — meet. [Director Matthew] Vaughn says that Eggsy’s orange smoking jacket is a sign that he hasn’t shaken off all his idiosyncracies and rough edges. “I can’t imagine Colin Firth having an orange smoking jacket,” laughs Vaughn. “It actually looks really cool. Dapper. Eggsy has his favourite orange Adidas tracksuit and says, ‘if it looks good in a tracksuit, why can’t I have it in a dinner jacket?’” [x]
<3 <3 <3
Final Fantasy XV
Prompto + running to his friends’ sides (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Bonus:
Some of my fave Prompto photos
“You’re my closest friend.” -Noctis
I love him so much
Elliott Smith talking about how he made up “Between the Bars” while watching Xena the Warrior Princess with the sound off.
Kankri Vantas, everybody.
I feel like I’ve committed a sin
Lance in the space mall episode personally saved my Life
NO ONE CAN TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME. WE HAVE CONFIRMATION AND I’VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER
You guys!!!! DREAMWORKS DID THE THING!!!!!
Holly Blue Agate bout to drop some sick beats
