I actually do plan to take either wrestling or boxing soon, I’m just recovering from being underweight (and having a disability that effects the strength of my joints 😭) so I need to gain a bit more weight and get better in the gym first. I’m sorry you’re struggling too though, all my support to you 🖤
Gyns do you have any suggestions for stuff to help work through anger? I recently had a close female friend that I thought supported me suddenly turn around and spew a ton of alt right propaganda. Apparently she’s gone down a tradwife pipeline and now believes that women having rights is apparently the root of all problems in the world, and she told me (a lesbian who she also knows has experienced multiple counts of sexual assault) that she believes that all women must find a man to submit to sexually.
And while I’m grateful for the fact I can now feel anger instead of shame, I’ve gone a long way in healing, I’d also like to be able to step away from it because I’m legitimately losing sleep over it and it’s dredged up a lot of flashbacks. I’m not trying to fish for sympathy, I just want to know if y’all have any suggestions for me.
“kink belongs at pride” i’d love to know why the fuck you weirdos wanna do that so bad? why do you yearn for random people to see what freaky dumb shit you’re into? literally why.
and i am like 90% sure i once saw a tweet that was responding to someone saying children go to pride and they were like “um children are more sexually aware than you think”.. there is something terribly wrong with you
Literally fixed my mental health by so much 😭😭 I didn’t realize how much forcing attraction to men was weighing me down and causing me to be out of touch with a lot of the rest of my personality because I would be constantly questioning my likes/dislikes. Now I just exist as myself and it’s amazing.
realizing I was a lesbian literally felt like this
Type shit
It's not your place to dictate anyone's sexuality. Labels are supposed to make people feel more secure, not make them feel unaccepted. This is why so many LGBTQIA members feel like they have no place in the community.
Lesbians and gay men are the main perpetrators of this. This is exclusionary, and the same kind of thinking that labels bi women sluts and erases bi men. Stop it and give people room to figure it out
I was originally going to ignore this bc it’s a pretty insane take, but it kept coming back up in my mind and led me to think about labeling in general and how my generation goes about it (and unfortunately for you anon, I stayed just as radical).
There’s two types of labels: static, or inherent, and active, or chosen, labels. Static/inherent labels are things that you are born with, and are obviously observable to everyone that looks at you. Race and sex, most notably. Those do not require you to do anything to make them true, they just are. These are the labels in which rules and stereotypes are pretty much pointless because the color of your skin or your genitals do not determine anything about you other than the fact you have them. It is medical information and nothing more, and does not influence your personality.
However active/chosen labels DO need rules and regulations or they are completely pointless. Even things such as sexual orientation (which you are born with) need you to actively engage with them, even if it is just thinking “I’m gay”, for them to be realized. You are not born, a naked infant, and the doctor looks at you and pronounces you gay, or anarchist punk, or goth, or feminist, etc etc. And since they require actions to fulfill, then having set requirements for a category is vital for us to accurately communicate information to others. And if you do not fit the criteria for a certain label, the only thing that makes any sense is to choose another label that does fit you.
This conflation of the two types of labels has lead to a lot of nightmare messes for the queer community especially, but also even with people claiming they can be conservative and goth and it’s actually more alternative to be conservative and all that mess. Have requirements to be part of a group is literally the foundation for forming a group outside of just the general public, otherwise there is no point in doing so at all.
Also, Anon honestly seems to have more biphobia than I do, which I feel like I come across a lot. As soon as I mention potential bisexuality in someone people immediately start telling me not to slut shame, that I’m erasing bisexual men (somehow?) etc, when never once did I ever say anything bad about bisexual women. I’m close friends with bi women and I love them dearly whether or not they choose to date men because that’s their prerogative. However when I say “bisexual”, you hear “bad”. I do not think it is bad for women to be attracted to men. My complaint is when you claim lesbianism, a female same-sex only orientation, while constantly expressing attraction to men, because that reinforces the “she hasn’t found the right dick yet” narrative that puts lesbians in danger. I was literally just given that line yesterday and then stalked for 45 minutes by a creepy man.
Lesbians are not attracted to men. If you are attracted to men and women you are bisexual/pansexual/whatever word you want to use to express a polysexual orientation. And if you are bisexual, I love you and thank you for your self-reflection and honesty with yourself. Labels exist to give a name to your lived reality, no label is better or worse or cooler than another, and trying to stretch labels to fit things they aren’t is really pointless when the other label that describes you perfectly is literally right there.
call us ugly to sell us shit!
Me when I fall down the stairs due to my fainting disorder
the terf terfed terfily down the staircase
Often, men will say something like : "Who built this world? Men! Who created everything, all the technology, the great art, the culture, our societies? Who built the roads you drive on? Men!" and feminists will respond "That's because you didn't let us work or make art!" and... that's just wrong? Why are you validating the idea that women didn't contribute anything to the world? That we didn't work? That we didn't innovate? And why are you approving the nonsense that says being a mother is not work?
Don't let men rewrite history.
Women have always worked the double shift; outside of home and inside of home.
This whole idea from Conservatives/the right in general that men are “leaders” is completely a farce even in their own groups, and I can speak to this firsthand because I grew up in it. Super Catholic, church services were all in Latin, women weren’t allowed to wear pants or cut their hair shorter than their shoulders, and they were sporting all of America’s current insane political views a decade before they became more popular. And men still did jack all.
I was running the church choir in all but name by the age of 14, despite the choir director being a man in his 20s. Women handled all the childcare and child rearing, women were the ones who organized everything. Who put up the decorations for each season. Who provided the food. Who kept the church clean and in repair. Who taught the children during Sunday School. They were the ones who made decisions for their families, the ones who kept tabs on everything, the ones who organized playdates and homeschool meetups and church potlucks. Women built everything and men only placed their stamp of approval on it to claim the work.
And I wish more people would WAKE UP to this realization. Being a leader means nothing if you aren’t actually working. Simply sitting on your ass and giving the occasional instruction is not true leadership, nor is it even the servant leadership Christ himself advocated for. Those men were completely useless in the grand scheme of things and we would have continued on without them with relative ease. They hold onto relevancy by forcing women to depend on them financially but that’s all they have to stand on. And it just pisses me off idk this is just a rant
what’s so ironic to me is how much prostitution enthusiasts stress "listening to sex workers"—but the moment those very "sex workers" they claim to love so much disagree with them, suddenly they’re not worth listening to anymore.
"listen to sex workers" I'm listening! are you?
Unfortunately I am a pathetic butch and I have to just accept it. Somehow I love providing, protecting, and spoiling people but I will also cry if you kiss me and be a complete sappy fool and I have to learn to live with this duality 😔
20 | Butch lesbian | Feminist | diy enthusiast | Joculatrix | Lovergirl (Ik that contradicts being angry but trust me I have room for love and hatred)
113 posts