Moses Is Gone, Post Golden Calf

If you’re an adult, do the stuff you couldn’t as a kid.

Like, me and my sister went to a museum, and they had an extra exhibit of butterflies. But it cost £3. So we sighed, walked past, then stopped. We each had £3. We could see the butterflies. And we did it was great. We followed it up with an ice-cream as well because Mum and Dad weren’t there to say no.

I was driving back from a work trip with 2 other people in their early 20s, and we drove past a MacDonalds. One of the others went “Aww man, I’d love a McFlurry.” And the guy driving pulled in to the drive through. It was wild. But it was great.

I went to a park over the weekend and I was thinking “Man, I’d love to hire one of those bikes and cycle round the park.” It took me a few minutes to go “Wait, I can hire one of those bikes!”

I guess what I’m saying is, those impulsive things you wanted to do as a kid - see the dinosaur exhibit, play in the fountains with the other kids, lie in the shade for 2 hours - you can do when you’re an adult. You have to deal with a whole lot of other bull, but at least you can indulge your inner 8 year-old.

I had a dream that a cruise ship went down off the coast of a national park and for some reason no one else knew—its passengers were ALL celebrities and I watched them all scramble ashore looking for help.

The park was enormous, and possibly also Area X from the Southern Reach, so it became my job to lead all ~50 movie stars back to safety.

This was terrible. They did not want to cooperate and did not want to take orders from me, so I had to go full hardass and forcibly assign them buddy system partners. Some wanted to race ahead to show how fit they were and did not appreciate being told to stay with the group so that they did not get lost and would be able to use their extra energy to assist anyone who was injured or capacitated.

A few of them tried the “do you know who I AM?” routine on me and I was like “well I’m mostly faceblind so I’m not sure but I DO know that you’re a whiny little bastard who needs to get his shit together”.

The kid from Stranger Things kept compulsively running off the trail to knock shit over, including trial markers, so I had to change his partner from Danny DeVito.

At one point the forest disappeared and we were suddenly at an Arab-American festival in Seattle and my old Arabic teacher came over and started angrily interrogating me about why I didn’t study harder, I cried, and then I stole a fist full of meat from a cooked eel outside a restaurant, at it, and became Brendan Fraser from George of the Jungle, but gay and in love with my girlfriend’s ex boyfriend.

honestly I wish I could dedicate myself to being a giant fucking inconvenience as much as the phantom of the opera did

I’ve been seeing incorrect information about lightsabers and their colors / meanings so as a Star Wars nerd of 15 years, I would like to provide accurate information for oc creators or people who are just interested in knowing about lightsabers!

Blue Lightsabers -These are the Jedi Guardians -They focused on practical application of the Force -Highly skilled in combat -They were the first to leave the Temple to take an active role in conflicts -Their recommended training was 3 hours a day -Training consisted of running, lightsaber practice, and unarmed combat 

Red Lightsabers -These are the Sith -Consumed by the Dark Force of the Force -Ferocious and unyielding in combat -Kyber Crystals are either synthetic or turned red by causing a fallen Jedi’s crystal to bleed by pouring their malice and anger into it

Green Lightsabers  -These are Jedi Consulars  -Exceptionally powerful in the Force -Often found in the Temple waging battle through mediation  -Will fight when absolutely necessary -They were Healers, researchers, and seers 

Yellow Lightsabers -These are the Jedi Sentinel -They’re extremely rare -Known to develop valuable skills outside the purview of the Force -Exhibits traits of both Guardian and Consular -They’re not often seen or used because the wielder of a yellow blade is so strong and skilled they don’t need to deploy it

White Lightsabers -White blades occurs when a bleeding Kyber Crystal is purified -They denote no affliction to Jedi or Sith, but signifies a pure Light Side Force user -Exceedingly rare  -Only two are known to exist, and Ahsoka wields them both. 

Orange Lightsabers -Very rare -Negotiators, selfless, and are opposed to violence  -The Kyber Crystal isn’t actually a Kyber, but is known as a Kohlen Crystal / a Fools Kyber (as stated in the Star Wars novel Master & Apprentice)  -It possessed the same heft as a Kyber, and even some vibration with the Force -They were ostensibly referred to in an ancient prophecy made by a Jedi mystic which stated that “When the Kyber which is not Kyber shines forth, the time of prophecy will be at hand.”

Purple / Violet Lightsabers -These were originally introduced at the request of Samuel L. Jackson who didn’t want to blend in at the Battle of Geonosis -Known to use Dark Side techniques in battle while serving the Light Side of the Force -In Legends, sometimes the lightsaber was used by a former Sith who has turned to the Light Side

#158 The Case of the Missing Hit | Reply All

A man in California is haunted by the memory of a pop song from his youth. He can remember the lyrics and the melody. But the song itself has vanished, completely scrubbed from the internet. PJ takes on the Super Tech Support case.

crazy story which I have done no justice to by reading the transcript instead of listening to it, thus missing the entire point of hearing the song they’re talking about.

this is just a @nostalgebraist-autoresponder fan account now, I’m sorry

they should make a new type of computer that can be your friend

Pictures of the UNESCO World Heritage site of ancient Palmyra taken following the recapture of the city by Syrian troops backed by Russian forces on March 27, 2016 show the damage made by ISIS during its 10-month occupation. In 2015 the archaeologist, Khaled al-Asaad, who had looked after the ruins for 40 years and refused to reveal the location of archaeological treasures of the city was also murdered by ISIS.

Photos taken on March 31, 2016 by Joseph Eid/AFP/Getty Images

every. damn. night.

Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough