Billy Looks Like Shit. Like, He Really Looks Like He’s Been Fucking Through It. Steve Watches Him Breathe,

Billy looks like shit. Like, he really looks like he’s been fucking through it. Steve watches him breathe, holds his hand until he cracks his eyes open.

‘You look like shit.’

It’s the first thing Billy says. Steve laughs, a little hysterical. Grips his hand. 

‘So do you, asshole.’

Billy smiles, just a little, then winces. ‘Yeah. Been a rough week.’

‘I got held captive by Russians,’ Steve offers, and Billy rubs his thumb over the back of his hand.

‘Sounds like fun.’

‘Yeah, super fun. They’ve got good drugs, Billy. Real good drugs. Oh? And I won a fight?’

Billy laughs, a little chuckle that soothes all the hurt in Steve’s exhausted, battered body. ‘That’s real good, baby. Wish I coulda seen it.’

‘Yeah,’ Steve says, squeezes Billy’s hand, wraps the fingers of his free hand around his wrist just to feel his heart beat. It was real touch and go, for a while. Real touch and go. ‘Nothing compared to you, but I’m pretty proud of myself.’

‘I didn’t do anything,’ Billy says, quiet.

‘Bullshit. Bullshit. Max told me everything. El. El told me everything. I saw it.’

‘Steve-’ 

‘Shut up,’ Steve says, ‘just shut the fuck up. You did it. You did. And i’m gonna sit right here and keep saying it until you believe me, asshole.’

Billy tugs on his hand, tries to shift over on the bed a little. Steve’s so fucking scared, still, the feeling still cutting through him. Can’t stop seeing Billy on that that floor. Can’t stop seeing him hold the monster off, all on his own. 

‘C’mere,’ Billy says, ‘come up here.’

Steve gets up and tucks himself next to Billy, gentle as he can, careful of the tubes and wires. ‘Scared the hell out of me, Billy.’

‘Sorry,’ Billy says, ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Quit that shit. Don’t apologize to me. You’re here. We made it. You did it.’

‘Had help,’ Billy says, tucking his face into Steve’s hair. ‘I’m. I’m glad I’m here. I didn’t think I would be. I’m. I’m glad.’

Steve lets out a shaky breath, gently lays his arm over Billy’s belly, careful of the bandages. ‘Me too, Billy. Me fucking too.’