Okay But Like, The Raven Cycle And Like Every Other YA Book Out There Has Given Me Such Unrealistic Friendship

when u first read the secret history it’s like oh, what an elegant and deep piece of literature. and then ur like…………bunny steals a frozen cheesecake from someone on financial aid. charles gets high and kills a bee at the funeral of his friend, who he helped to murder. henry didn’t know that people landed on the moon. richard thinks he’s straight. francis is hesitant that their alibi is going to the theater because he doesn’t want people to think he went to see such terrible movies. “and as we leave donne and walton on the shores of metahemeralism, we wave a fond farewell to those famous chums of yore.“ what the hell is going on in this book

I think another big thing with the Weasleys kids is the age breakdown. Percy is closer in age to Ginny than he is to Bill—that whole bottom five is squished together, and it creates some weird dynamics. When Harry meets the Weasleys, Percy Seems like the oldest. But he’s not *really.* He is very much a middle child. Even though he’s two years above the twins in School, their birthdays put them at closer to a year and a half…much closer than the almost four years between Percy and Charlie.

I always got the impression that Charlie and Bill were their own unit—and the rest of the kids were the babies. Now, Percy is kind of the leader of the babies, but he’s still a baby.

And that’s immediately apparent when Bill and Charlie come home in GoF. They are cool and sophisticated and looked up to…and Percy argues with his little brothers. He DOES get included with his big brothers in fighting the Death Eaters…but he drops back down quickly to the Kid Section as soon as the crisis is over.

It’s an awkward place for Percy to be, and I think it contributes to his Ugly Duckling syndrome. Because to his younger siblings, he vacillates wildly between being almost a peer to being Mum’s Second in Command. They don’t know what to make of him: will he play with them today, or is today a day where he’s writing a report to Mum? And his older brothers are just…too old growing up to really engage with him.

Percy’s in this spot where he needs to take a position of leadership and responsibility in the family—because Bill and Charlie leave for school and then work well before they stop being Needed at home—but Percy’s also so Young when that happens.

And Percy takes on that emotional burden. Sometimes smugly: “Ginny has Other Brothers to set an example for her,” sometimes with a temper that reveals how close in age he truly is to them (see: every interaction with the twins), but more often than not, it’s very sincere and poignant. Percy doesn’t ASK his siblings to like him. He seems pretty okay doing his own thing in life. But he Does constantly look to and move to protect them. He loves them in a way that’s really almost parental, when it’s all said it done. It’s flawed as a sibling relationship, and I hope that as they grow up, that weirdness in ages evens out and they can all relate to each other as peers. But it is something really interesting.

Slytherin Aesthetics:: Black

Headcanon that Teddy was never really into sports, especially Quidditch. He had a passing interesting to support Ginny and James but that was all.

But somewhere around the time James turned 18, left Hogwarts and joined his first professional league Teddy realized he was arse over tit in love with him. So he started paying a lot more attention at the matches he went to with Harry, start casually asking if he could watch one of James’s team practices, and basically taking more than a passing interesting both because it mattered to James and because the game took on a whole new level of interest in the person he was secretly dating was one of the people up in the air. He found he suddenly cared very much whether James’s teammates were capable of protecting their seeker and what the other team’s formations were like.

And that’s when Harry starts to notice. Because suddenly Teddy is at every match, and rattling off statics when they go out to the chippy after work. But it’s not until James is at an away game, Harry and Teddy sitting on the sofa listening to the game on the wireless as a string of expletives leave Teddy’s mouth every time anyone comes remotely near James that all the pieces click into place.

“So,” Harry starts conversationally, “Can you believe McGee nearly knocked James off his broom.”

“Thundering Turbocunt,” Teddy hissed, wrapping his hands around his Guinness.

“They said they’re replacing Swift with McMillion for beater,” Harry said, sipping his beer and trying not to laugh.

“Fucking terrible call. Swift can’t protect James for shit. Are they trying to kill their best player?”

“Rumor has it they might put Flint in as the starting seeker next week instead of James,” Harry lied, watching as Teddy jumped off the couch and spilled his stout on his jeans.

“Fucking arseholes! They wouldn’t dare!”

“So,” Harry said, dropping his beer on the coffee table and smiling at Teddy, “How long have you been in love with James?”

“Wait, what?” Teddy spluttered, choking on his drink as Harry laughed. 

Boyfriend Jungkook

Masterlist

Dates

Your first date was at the arcade

He thought you would complain but oh boy was he wrong

Once you stood in that damn arcade, you let your inner nerd out

“Oh my god! This is from like the 50s! This is amazing!” 

He’d be amazed about how much you know about games. He fell for you hard that night.

Date nights would be really chill with him

You’d go to Hongdae, get some food, buy some weird things you don’t even need.

He’d insist to pay for everything

One time you paid for your food and he got upset and didn’t talk to you for 10 minutes

When you feet hurt, he’d either carry you or give you his shoes even though they’re too big

He’d end up giving you a piggy back ride or throw you over his shoulders

Dates would be filled with teasing and making fun of your Korean, because you sometimes pronounce things weirdly

You’d make fun of him if his satoori came out

Skinship and Affection

This boy is too shy to even look at you if you’re in public

Nevertheless, he’d hold your waist if it starts to get too crowded

When you’re alone, that’s when he can’t keep his hands off you

He’d be grabbing your butt constantly, squeezing and pinching it

He loved your reaction to it so it became a habit of his

LOVES touching your boobs while you’re cuddling

He’d just cup one of your boobs lazily as you’re watching tv

I can imagine Jungkook showing his affection in a really cheesy way

Like he’d get you flowers once in a while

Buy you random jewelry because he thought it would look good on you

LOVES HUGGING OH MY DAYS

Loves kissing you on your shoulder and cheek because your skin just feels so soft

The boys would tease him whenever he’d call you “jagi” “nae sarang” or “my princess”

He’d blush really hard and hide his face in the crook of your neck which just made you giggle uncontrollably.

You reached the state in which he called you a “bitch” and you called him “bastard” or “Asshole”

But if someone else insulted you… OH SHIT BOI RUN 

Sex

You were his first and he was your first

Both of you were just so awkward and didn’t know what to do at first

Of course he had everything planned out perfectly but when it came to actually doing the dirty, he was freaking out

He didn’t even know how to take your bra off

Your first time was slow and careful. Both of you needed to get used to the new feeling. (it was great tbh)

Now, when he’s in the bedroom with you, he’s even more confident than ever before

Loooooooves teasing the fuck out of you until you beg for him to stop

The room would be filled with a mixture of giggles and moans

Can be a dom but also a sub. Depends on his mood, and yours of course.

Since he’s so young he’d be up to trying new things

He always wanted to try to handcuff you to the bed while he takes you from behind

Just the thought of it drove him insane

So when you said yes to his idea he didn’t know how to react (404 Jungkook error)

“How about we try this position?”

“Are you on a kama sutra website?”

“….yes”

Fights

Honestly, your fights would be about him playing hIS GOD DAMN GAMES TOO MUCH

Of course you didn’t mind him playing, you were actually quite supportive of his hobby, but his health was getting affected by it

“Babe your posture is so fucking bad. You look like Quasimodo”

“You look like Ursula, that’s not better”

After you kind of calmed down, he’d start to tease you in a loving way just to hear you laugh again

He’d be the first to apologize 

He hated seeing you upset and all he wanted was to make you happy again

You can’t stay mad at him for long, especially when he flashes you one of his precious bunny smiles.

When he’s away

He’d be so dramatic about him having to leave

Like you HAD TO DRAG HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE SO HE WOULDN’T MISS HIS FLIGHT

He’d pretend like he’s going off for war but his dramatic ass just made you laugh so much

But seriously though, he’d practically die without you

“You don’t know how to cook a god damn egg?” Jin would ask him angrily

“(Y/N) always cooks them for me”

He’d annoy his hyungs about how much he misses you and especially your cuddles

You were quite busy yourself so you couldn’t talk a lot 

but when you did, calls would last for hours 

And of course, he’d tease you about the way your messy hair looked and how you looked without makeup

You missed it so much

He wouldn’t necessarily do dirty talk while being on the phone or FaceTime because he didn’t want anyone to hear

But be prepared to get a lot of sexting when he missed you tad bit too much. 

All his calls and texts would end with “I love you my princess” or “Don’t you dare dream about anyone else but me you bitch”

Books with Morally Ambiguous Characters

I thought I might share my personal favorite books with evil or morally ambiguous characters since you’ve all shared your favorites.

Vicious

(main character is awesome and very grey)

The golden compass

(really goes into detail what evil and good really mean and has a ton of morally questionable characters in the second book)

The Bartimaeus trilogy

(main character does a lot of bad shit for selfish reasons but you still love him anyways somehow?? And there’s a lot of themes involving systematic oppression and propaganda manipulation and ethics)

The curseworkers

(the main character is constantly put into situations where he has to choose the lesser of two evils. Not to mention mafia families)

Six of crows

(do I even have to say…?)

Howls moving castle

(howl is seen as morally ambiguous in the beginning because of his reputations, so this technically counts. Also I love this book to death)

I hunt killers

(so the main character is super psychopathic and manipulative and overall a creepy ass person. He’s always questioning whether or not he’s truly a good person or just pretends to be or is hiding something worse. This psychological thriller is fucking incredible and underrated.)

The name of the wind

(the main character is the most realistically human I’ve ever met. He’s so real I can touch him. He’s also very morally ambiguous in ways I can’t say because it’s all spoilerly)

Artemis Fowl

(greedy selfish 12 year old criminal mastermind kidnapps a fairy for ransom money. What I love about this series is that he grows throughout the books and his character is constantly developing. He is definitely morally ambiguous and has no problem embracing his cunniving and devious nature)

The Cruel Prince

( every character is an asshole. Every. Character. No excuses, no secrets, just pure assholes. And you’ll love them)

The lies of Locke Lamora

(one of my ALLTIME favorite books. Locke lamora is like a darker shade of grey. He’s selfish, slightly murderous, incredibley human and very handsome. This motherfucker is the leader of a group of conmen who steal money from the rich but keep it for themselves. They are grade A smart assess and they have to make actual hard choices that really determine their character. I’m not gonna say more because there’s no way I can fit this masterpiece into a small summery bye)

The wrath and the Dawn

(The Prince is such a morally grey character. As you read on you’ll question whether or not he actually kills his brides or if there’s another deeper mystery to him. His choices are very questionable and very….bad? I can’t describe how amazing these books are)

okay but...

Harry insists on buying a CD player for his home in London with Ginny. 

Curious, he buys her a CD, one that he knows a lot of Muggle girls like but he’s only ever heard in passing. (He’s had Dark Lords and Death Eaters to worry about, you know.) 

And within minutes he regrets his life choices because Ginny is rocking out to “I Want It That Way” by some boy band called the Backstreet Boys on repeat. 

She asks Hermione about them and they buy every single boy band album from the 80′s on. 

They continue this for several years as new albums come out and Harry has more or less given Ginny the CD player. 

(Not that he particularly minds because she’s actually kind of cute when she’s dancing and singing along with a young Teddy and she doesn’t think he’s looking.)

She puts headphones on her pregnant belly and tells James Sirius Potter that he’s going to be such a charmer. 

Harry protests that she’s going to brainwash their baby before he’s even born but when has she ever taken his half-hearted arguments seriously? 

Eighteen years later James Sirius is tall and broad, a chiseled mix of Bill’s height and Fred and George’s stockiness, and singing some song that he’s heard Ginny hum before and Teddy pretends he isn’t watching him with a lopsided smile. 

James pretends that Teddy isn’t pretending to watch him

Harry pretends that he isn’t seeing them silently flirt and mumbles to Ginny that it’s all her fault with a light smile on his face. 

Ginny laughs and continues braiding Lily Luna’s hair. 

“But he’s charming, isn’t he?” 

Harry looks up from his morning paper just in time to see James Sirius holding out a sunflower he conjured in his palm to Teddy and Teddy rolling his eyes despite his blush. 

“Oh, he’s good.” 

“And you said I was brainwashing him.” 

They share a glance and laugh together quietly, happy that their son is boy band trash/a romantic sap.

I bestow upon thee; concept playlists

•classical music to sip tea to while contemplating philosophy and the next marble bust you’ll buy

•stealing books from the Oxford library with friends you never thought you’d find, in the snow, yelling about Ovid, lighting candles

•folky music for sitting on your front porch in the lazy evening sun, surrounded by your closest friends, gazing at a wheat field and singing along with a guitar in your arms

•feeling listless; like you’re walking the world alone, wandering with no destination, held in the arms of the earth and happy with that

•songs to sing LOUD in the car on a road trip going nowhere in particular

•staring out the window of a quaint coffee shop, watching the raindrops cling to the glass and thinking of all the poetry you’re going to write for that lover you left behind

•looking back on a long relationship and realizing all the ups and downs you’ve had as one, suddenly seeing it all in slow motion like a silent film

•laying back on your bed, smiling uncontrollably, thinking of all the beautiful, bucolic times you’re going to have in the sun with that person you can’t stop thinking of

•a rock in your rib-cage, sobbing on the floor, feeling empty; things are coming to an end and you can’t bear to see them go

•the first day of summer – sprawling yourself in the green & vivacious grass, heart shaped sunglasses perched on your nose; youth in all its glory

•songs that bring back days of your old glory, reliving your childhood and your golden days, tracing over the old scars and remembering how you got them

•the smell of old books, melancholy, songs that are so potent with a sort of wild and tragic longing that they’re almost dangerous

•looking out a car window; letting your eyes cling to weeping trees and then letting them snap back again. feeling self centered and tragical.

•literally just songs that remind me of Oscar Wilde and Bosie Douglas

•stuff that i’m listening to right now! always changing, songs that i’m playing on repeat

SLYTHERIN! Weasley twin Headcanons

George is heavily afraid of getting disowned

Fred is the only one he trusts

They never get an owl back from their mother who ends in a rather nasty breakdown

Two weeks pass by until an owl lands on their table

There’s a letter and even a package

It’s Slytherin sweaters

When harry comes along, he gets to see how fun Slytherin can be

Fred tells Ron about the underwater glass they have to see into the lake

Draco and Blaise become immersed in trying to name every lake creature they see

George is telling first years that they can come over to the Slytherin dorms if they’re a fan of lake creatures and cold areas

Fred takes drawing requests from the little kids

George helps them with potions

Pansy drags Hermione over and rambles to her about the lake

The twins are always making sure people are ok

There’s always a sleepover in the Slytherin common room at midnight

It’s usually packed with students

George makes everyone hot coco

Fred takes pictures

The twins just generally making Slytherin out to be the greatest house ever

Jeddy headcanons (i need more of this ship in my life I'm)

(This is in a universe where everything is legal and consensual and the age difference is not creepy at all just in case) — - Teddy is totally the little spoon - James’s favorite hair color on Teddy is actually pink. - Teddy’s favorite part of James’s body is his collarbones - James could spend hours watching Teddy studying, because when he focuses really hard his lower lip kind of juts out in the most adorable pout. - Teddy blushes and sucks in his lip every time James points this out. - At first they were so reluctant to tell their family they were together, but ended up unintentionally making out in the Potter’s backyard for the whole family to see. (The unintentional part was the audience, not the kissing. Obviously) - Teddy loved the way James had a tendency to fall asleep while he played with Teddy’s hair. One minute the hand was moving, the other James was snoring softly. - They rarely fought, but when they did, they didn’t speak to each other for at least a week, after which each of them was too drained without then other’s company, and got back together without a word. - Lily Luna was literally the biggest shipper. She loved her three gay brothers. - Teddy and James were prone to fall asleep in front of the muggle TV at the Potter’s, tangled up in each other. Everyone wonder how that could ever be comfortable but they never asked - James said ‘I love you’ first, to everyone’s surprised. -Teddy said it less than half a second after. - Their first kiss happened under the willow by the lake (no, not the whomping one), in autumn, when they were freezing to death but too immersed with each other to either notice or care. - Teddy cried a lot about his parents. James was always there, no matter how many times. - Like his dad, Teddy had a tendency to self-loath, something he and James often fought about. - James just couldn’t believe how such an amazing human being could hate himself so much. He tried to prove every one of Teddy’s arguments wrong every day. - They loved each other so much.