hello regarding that small jing yuan ramble you wrote. um. you're literally cooking w it. the money i would pay to see you write it is insane đ«Ą
thank you for your contributions to the hsr community. you are a godsend girl (ïœĄ- .âą) <3
summary. you grow sick, and lo and behold, itâs not actually from your pathetic pining over the general of the luofu, but something else.
notes. based on this. five people asked for it. i want to lick a bold stripe up this manâs chest. All Hail Jing Yuan.
warnings. 16+ as it may be mildly suggestive, heliobus possession, injuries, blood, vomiting (not a kink. youâre just sick), a literal exorcism, and you and jing yuan get it on on some random park bench.
You had been sick for a while. Maybe a week, now. First, it had started as a simple cold; blocked nose, sore throat, weak bones.Â
But now, even after a trip to the doctorâs to retrieve some medicine to at least soothe the persistent ache in your throat, the cold was growing worse and worse.Â
And today, you were convinced that whatever illness you had wasnât just a simple cold.Â
Your stomach is twisting into knots, and thereâs an incessant panging in the back of your skull.Â
At first, you tried to ignore the pain. You had a report to write up that was expected by a coworker by the end of the day, but you were only growing sicker by the minute.Â
This had to be the worst day of your life.
Worked to Hell, stressed, your hair was a mess, there was a toothpaste stain on your shirt, and you were sure one of your socks was inside out.Â
The Master Diviner had noticed your state first. As soon as you walked into the doors and sat down, she passed by your desk, placed a small pile of papers before uttering a quick, âare you sick?âÂ
She did it out of concern, but all it did was knock your confidence down into the negatives.Â
And now, you had an even bigger issue hovering over your shoulder.Â
âYou look unwell.âÂ
Your head shoots up from your desk, and the holographic screen fades out of view when your hand slams over the gadget. Youâre sure you just ruined half of your report; you donât remember the last time you saved.Â
When you push back your hair, two pairs of golden eyes are peering down at you.Â
Uh oh.Â
âUhââ Your face was burning, half out of embarrassment, and also because he was so close to you. You could feel your face instinctively scrunching up to keep the tears at bay. âSorry, General.âÂ
General Jing Yuan offers you a small but concerned knit of his brows. A hand presses to your forehead. âYouâre running hot.âÂ
âNo, noâŠâ You were not getting sent home. God you needed the money right now. âIâm fine. Thank you.â You move away from his hand and try to turn your burning face from him.Â
Your head felt wrong. You felt dizzy.Â
Your mother was bombarding you with messages begging you to come help her at her restaurant, your father wouldnât stop asking you to come home because he missed you, and you were swamped with work, and nothing was coming together, and now youâre sickâÂ
âMmm. Iâm afraid I donât believe you,â General Jing Yuan presses. âYou look as though youâre about to pass out.â
You shake your head slowly, cautious of the migraine pulling behind your eyes. Crying wonât help the migraine forming, idiot. âI need this pay, sir.âÂ
âThat can be arranged.âÂ
Oh, good Gods.Â
The playful smile he sent your way almost made you melt into a puddle onto the floor.Â
You always wondered how soft his hair was.Â
You want to say more. You want to tell him not to worry; youâd worked through worse. For the amount of sick sessions youâd had in these bathrooms, the last stall on the second floor bathrooms of the building practically became your second bedroom.Â
You also want to lean forward and taste his lips. But, for one, thatâs sort of unprofessional, and two, he doesnât even know your name. Youâre also sure you look like an absolute mess, and a complete turn off.Â
You shake your head again, but when you try to stand up, you wobble. Jing Yuan rests his hands on your shoulders to keep you steady.Â
You canât tell if youâre spiralling into hysteria, or if your bodyâs actively trying to fight the worst flu of your life.Â
âIâm sorry, Iââ
Absolutely humiliated, you burst into tears.Â
You try to muffle it so as to not disturb any of your coworkers.Â
Youâre desperately trying to find a dry spot on your sleeve to wipe your tears, but surprisingly, the General hums sympathetically and swipes his thumbs beneath your eyes.Â
Then, he reaches over the desk and shuts off the gadgets, collects your bag, and hands it to you.Â
âGo home.â Thereâs a gentle flutter of his lashes.Â
Your face is still burning when you bow your head. You canât disobey him. The Master Diviner was your boss, but heâs even above her. âYes, sir.âÂ
General Jing Yuan escorts you to the door slowly, and winks at you on your departure. âRest well.âÂ
Youâre more convinced your face is burning because he touched you, more than how your skin feels like it's being melted from the inside by a growing fever. You promptly ignore the strange looks you get while you sob all the way home.Â
àłàŒ
Your sob session had left you feeling worse, and youâd promptly been sick in the toilet as soon as you made it to your home.Â
Youâd tried to swallow pills to ease the headache growing behind your eyes, but you couldnât even stomach that.Â
For a while, you had shivered in your own sweat on the bathroom floor. It was disgusting. You had planned to call a doctor, but it was way too late for any clinics to still be open at this hour.Â
It was dark when you got home.Â
After what seemed like an hour, you garnered enough strength to peel off your clothes and scrub the sweat and grime off of yourself. The steam of the shower was only relieving for a moment. As soon as you step out, you feel dizzy all over again.Â
But, youâd made a mission to get changed, brush your teeth at the very least, and try to sleep it off.Â
You manage to pull on something more comfortable. You try not to move too much. You can feel acid sloshing in your stomach with every shift of your arms, and you want to teeter over and empty your guts again.Â
You hold out long enough to feel weakly for your toothbrush. Your face is somewhat clean, disregarding the tears that silently drip down your cheeksâyou know that crying is doing the opposite of relieving your headache, but you canât stop yourself.Â
You rinse the taste of sick from your mouth and lean against the cool bench to soothe the heat surging through your body.Â
When you look up, you blink and catch something in the mirror.Â
Maybe you were just staring in the mirror for too long.Â
Not only had your face warped into something hideous, but there was now something green floating behind your ear.Â
It looks like a wisp, lime and yellow, like a spirit.Â
You slowly turn your head in the direction of it.Â
Thereâs nothing there. Your eyes meet the wall of the shower instead.Â
You try to reach out a hand to it while staring into the mirror, but you feel nothing.Â
âSweet.â
You jump back.Â
Your fingers twitch just before the reflection of the orb. Itâs like a ball of green flames lingering by the side of your head. You feel no aura, no heat radiating off of it.
You scrub your wet eyes with the heels of your palms.Â
Still there.Â
Your eyes then narrow suspiciously. It does little to help your headache.Â
If you didnât feel two seconds from collapsing, perhaps you wouldâve been more alarmed.Â
You try to reach for it again.Â
Your fist twitches forward and it slams into the mirror.Â
Not only does white hot pain peel up your arm and split your knuckles, but the glass shatters into pieces. It falls to the floor and embeds in your skin, and youâre sure the wound will scar.Â
You donât find it in you to scream, because the pain is so far away you donât feel like youâre inside your body anymore.Â
Itâs a ghost.Â
Oh, Aeons, youâre being haunted by a small cloud.Â
Briefly, you worry itâs one of your passed grandmothers, or her grandmothers. They'd probably reprimand you for being single and pining after a dude that was like hundreds of years old.Â
The spiritâs voice is unfamiliar until you recognise it.
Itâs yours, and it's coming directly out of your mouth.Â
âIâve been here a long time, yâknow?â Your brain buzzes with confusion. Are you speaking? Not really. But you are speaking. Thatâs your voiceâdid you always sound so obnoxious? Ew. âYou just havenât noticed.âÂ
You exhale shakily. You try not to cry, but tears pool down your face anyway. The pain in your head grows worse. Youâre sure your brain is splitting in two.Â
Blood drips from your hand and onto the tiled floor. Â
âIt hurts less if you let this happen. Assimilation is usually easy, but with you, not so much. Youâre very stubborn.âÂ
Oh, great. More insults. Just what you needed. This sucks. Your work is overdue, your pay has probably been cut accordingly, and now thereâs a ghost in your body and ruining your house.Â
You blindly try to touch the spirit again.Â
Your hands donât move.
âWhat are you?â Thatâs you. You know itâs you. Your voice wavers. Itâs less confident than when the spirit speaks with your mouth.Â
âI am your desires. A fruition of your every thought and being.â The flame continues to burn. It lets you take a little bit of control. Your fingers phase through the reflection of the spirit in the mirror. âAnd you are delicious.âÂ
The implication was there, but all the statement made you feel was disgust. Your body involuntarily shudders, and the flame hums in confusion before you stiffen once again.Â
Your hand is bleeding. Thereâs red pooling all over the bathroom bench, but you still cannot feel the throbbing and the glass protruding from your skin.Â
âYou are sweeter than other humans. Like sugar.â The flame feels warm close to your skin. âI realise your kind calls it âattraction.ââ
Oh, my God. The stupid soul knows that you lay awake at night thinking about this man that barely knows you exist.Â
This is embarrassing.Â
You canât even will yourself to cry, so all you can afford is to blink stupidly.Â
And why are you now thinking of how he smelled when he touched you when thereâs a literal ghost with a vendetta taking over your body?Â
You need to get your priorities in check.Â
Your fingers twitch with disobedience. Your phone sits untouched on the counter. The screen is covered with shards of glass and smudges of water from the faucet, but you know you can reach it. If you try hard enough.Â
Come on.Â
Your index finger twitches again.
The ghost is going on a tangent about your boring little life and your boring little crush on the General.Â
You canât bear to listen anymore.Â
Your hands spring to life and you pounce for your phone. Itâs not exactly in vain, for you do manage to withstand the pull of the spirit and the pain that returns to your hand and your head as you open your messages and swipe over the first contact you see.Â
Itâs Madame Fu, much to her misfortune. Youâre too desperate to consider yourself a burden.Â
Considering the time, sheâs most likely getting things sorted to close the building. The last message was an automated message of your pay being sent to your account from last week.Â
âWhat are you doing?!â the spirit shouts. It bounces inside of your head like a bullet has fired.Â
Your trembling fingers swipe over your keyboard.Â
You procure a melodious string of poetry as a result.Â
You: HEPLP IRMB
Your head is pounding. Youâre sure youâre about to throw up. A dizzy surge spears behind your eyes.Â
You: BOSS I NEEDYRLURHEL P
The phone drops from your hands as soon as your thumb cards over the send button. You notice the messages send through before your eyes wordlessly snap to the mirror and you stand ramrod still.Â
Once again, youâre a passenger beneath your own skin.Â
When the spirit takes over, the pain dissipates, and the fearful tears that run down your cheeks quickly dry.Â
After a moment, the spirit calms itself down.Â
âIâve grown so impatient with you. Youâre boring. Youâre lucky your emotions are so delicious, otherwise I wouldâve abandoned you a long time ago.â You donât consider yourself lucky. If anything, the ghost should consider itself lucky it gets to rest in your warm soup for a brain. Youâre sure every working brain cell has fried to a crisp at this point. âYouâre so sad and miserable. Howâs about I help you get your life back on track?âÂ
You want to ask why. Youâre sure it has better things to do than play wingman.Â
But, you stare at the soul fluttering beside your head with wide eyes. Your chest heaves with worry.Â
How you havenât succumbed to cardiac arrest yet is beyond you. You wouldâve patted yourself on the back for remaining so strong about the situation; but you suppose youâre sort of cheating. Not being in control of your body probably means that if you were autonomous, youâd be on the floor sobbing over your injured hand, the broken mirror that would cost a few hundred credits to fix, and the fact that General Jing Yuan actually put a finger on you today.Â
Oh, and also thereâs a ghost haunting you. That, too.
âThis is my body now.âÂ
Yep. You definitely needed to get your priorities in check.Â
You were beginning to feel woozy. The smell of copper hit your nose, and your stomach turned over itself four times.Â
âNow. Letâs fix this face up. You look dreadful.âÂ
Thanks. Youâre not sure if you can speak to it, but your voice radiates a laugh much unlike your own. Itâs more of a short sweet cackle than anything. Somehow, the ghost is able to navigate and use your phoneâs camera to clean your face properly.Â
It ignores the blood oozing from your knuckles, choosing instead to curiously open drawers until it stumbles upon a bag full of makeup.Â
All of this expensive stuff youâd splurged on last year. You will your breath to remain somewhat of an even pace.
Youâd have a breakdown over this if you manage to survive before the spirit decides to throw you off a cliff later.Â
You feel like this ghost is more suited to be your therapist, ironically, with how it mumbles in your voice about how you could present yourself much better if you got out of bed earlier every morning and cared about yourself.Â
âYou know⊠that old geezer likes you, too.âÂ
Your heart stops.Â
Then, thereâs a cruel snort that leaves your lips right after.Â
If you could scowl, you would have. Donât let it get to your head. Itâs lying. Itâs trying to get a rise out of you. And it was working, too.Â
You didnât even realise your feet were moving towards your closet to fish out something suitable to the ghostâs tastes.
This was going to be a long day.Â
àłàŒ
A long day did not entail you stumbling back to the workplace because the ghost didnât know how to handle the pain of fancy shoes. The brickwork of the roads were uneven towards the entrance, and you almost trip onto your face.Â
âWhere is that man?âÂ
This was awful.Â
You wanted to die on the spot.Â
âHe canât hide from me,â the ghost informs you. At least, you think itâs speaking to you. âI can taste him.âÂ
You want to ask what he tastes like.Â
The ghost seems to understand your silence. âHumans call it âcinnamon.ââÂ
Oh. Yum.Â
You grimace. Inside your head. This was confusing. Your body feels like a suit being worn by someone else. Itâs weird. Itâs wrong. Itâs almost violating.Â
You feel as though youâre witnessing everything through a screen. You cannot feel anything; not the snug of the clothes youâre wearing, or the wind on your skin, or the pain in your feet from the shoes. Nothing.Â
All you can do is watch.Â
You wish you couldnât have.Â
This is so painful.Â
âGeneral!âÂ
Oh, God, thatâs your voice. And youâre moving very briskly towards a large figure whoâs stopped to acknowledge you.Â
He seems barely taken aback when you stumble and fall into his arms.Â
Youâre way too excited pushing hair from your face that the General has to cock his head to the side for you to acknowledge him.
His eyes have widened significantly, and the grin on his lips is awkward, to say the least. âHow are you feeling?â His hand presses to your forehead again and draws back quickly. âYouâre still hot.âÂ
âThank you, General.â
He lets out something akin to a snort.Â
This sucks. Youâre like a vessel, and yet youâre sure your face is still burning at the proximity.
Oh, this is so embarrassing.Â
You realise you can sort of smell him. Itâs so light, though.Â
He really does smell like cinnamon. You had never noticed it before. Itâs faint, as if he hasnât chosen to top up his perfume from the morning, but it clings to his uniform nonetheless.
âDo you need to sit down?â he asks worriedly.Â
You realise heâs the only thing holding you up.Â
You try to cry for help.Â
Nothing but a pleased giggle escapes your throat. You realise thereâs a burning in your chest. You figured it to be your heart giving out on youâyouâd take death over the embarrassment that washed through your veins.Â
Your wishes did not come true.Â
General Jing Yuan peers behind you for a moment, watching where you came from.Â
Are you trembling? You canât tell.Â
âAre you feeling alright?â he asks again. His grip on you has tightened.Â
You try to say no, but instead you blurt out, âIâm goodâ great, actually. Since youâre here.âÂ
This was horrible. You want to sink into the floor and never be seen again. Thereâs a cackling in your ears, and itâs your voice.Â
âShall I bring you to a medic?âÂ
You slowly shake your head.Â
âDo you need an escort back home?âÂ
Oh, boy. You manage to weakly shake your head again. Itâs all you can muster. Your voice isnât working. Itâs not yours. You were also afraid youâd try to drag him inside your bedroom if he did walk you home.Â
He brings you over to a seat and helps you sit. Your legs are bouncing all over the place and you canât find it in yourself to sit still. Your eyes are flitting left and right and up and down trying to locate the source of the voices youâre hearing swarming your head.Â
A hand touches your cheek. You instinctively lean into his palm.Â
âYouâre bleeding.â And heâs touching your hand. You may as well have fainted there.Â
âFlesh wound,â you say.Â
Jing Yuanâs grin turns crooked. âI commend your bravery, but this may require stitches.âÂ
âHas anyone ever told you that you have really nice eyes?âÂ
Here we go. The cackling was growing worse. You feared your head would explode before your pounding heart would. It felt as though it was shattering your ribcage as it thumped.Â
The General tilts his head. Loose curls of white follow.Â
Youâre so relieved he sat you down. Otherwise you would have fallen to the floor.Â
âReally nice,â you repeat. âLike sunshine.âÂ
Jing Yuan looks at you strangely. âCharming, arenât you?â Youâre busy admiring the shadows that his lashes cast over his cheeks.Â
Your heart melts. You are so ridiculously down bad it hurts.Â
Youâre sure he can see your cheeks burning. Thatâs involuntary, too. The spirit inside of you seems equally confused.Â
Good. If it wants to embarrass you, youâre going to cook this thing from the inside out with your body heat. You hope the fever boils it alive. That would be cool. Deserved.Â
And if you lived, you get to tell your future grandchildren how you bested your vengeful ancestor because you had a fever and it couldnât withstand your body temperature.Â
The spiritâs confidence in your body, however, does not waver.Â
You can see a glint in General Jing Yuanâs gaze. His eyes loiter behind you again as if heâs staring at something approaching.Â
The spirit doesnât notice a thing.Â
âWell.â General Jing Yuanâs thumb traces over your cheek again. âIf weâre playing that game, I will admit you look lovely tonight.âÂ
Oh, God.Â
This is the best and worst day of your life and youâre barely experiencing it.Â
You manage to garner some control, and only some because the spirit is most likely cooking in your body, but all you manage is the stupidest giggle from your lips.Â
You hadnât even realised how close he was.Â
Youâre delicious like this.Â
He canât be telling the truth.
You canât believe it.Â
You watch him get up, and you, wherever you are inside your head, feel a pang of disappointment in your stomach.Â
âYou should get to a medic,â he says softly. âCome.âÂ
If you were really in your body, youâre sure you wouldâve swooned and quite possibly died right there on the spot.
For a moment, youâre sure thatâs what the spirit inside you is trying to do. Your body teeters over and you stare at his shoes.Â
Your arms jut out to either side of the bench, but you donât stand. You witness your legs shaking and weakened ankles.Â
Youâre worried youâre actually going to throw up onto his shoes.
What escapes your mouth instead is a, âGeneralâŠâ in the most pathetic whine youâve ever heard in your life. And itâs in your voice, to make matters worse.
You feel yourself grimacing internally.Â
General Jing Yuan quickly sits back down on the bench to steady you. You can hear him speaking, and he sounds concerned, but you canât make out his words clearly.Â
âGenââÂ
You feel dizzy inside your own head.
Yep. Heart attack. Definitely.Â
At least youâll die in this manâs arms.Â
But, no. You donât die. Not there.Â
General Jing Yuanâs face is a blur in your vision, and his gloved hands are resting on both cheeks, still burning hot to the touch.Â
Oh, you can still smell the cinnamon from his hair. So soft and subtle like itâs been dusted onto a nice scoop of ice cream.Â
If you were here, and properly here, you would have sprung from the seat and taken off running.Â
But, itâs not really you, and so your lips meet his hurriedly. You canât see much because your eyes have shut, but for whatever reason you can feel, and thereâs excitement that grows in your stomach in a pool of humiliation when his lips move against yours.
Your fingers bury into his hair. Soft. So soft. You wish you could cherish the feeling normally, within your own skin and body, and truly feel his warmth as your own.Â
Your lips are hot on his, and you feel his lashes flutter closed upon your cheek like a gentle kiss and swoop. His tongue tastes suspiciously of tanghulu, but that only drives you further into him.Â
This is embarrassingly addicting.Â
Your fingers decide to tangle themselves within his hair. Daringly, they venture further towards the silk red ribbon and dance around stray strands that had fallen free. You desperately want to pull at the silk and watch his hair fall to his shoulders, but you arenât sure if your limbs are yours.Â
His hands are so warm by your hips. And theyâre so big, and you feel the bumps of the callouses along his palms and it makes your bones jitter apprehensively.Â
Youâre way too into this, but if youâre bound to be fired over it, youâd consider this worth it.Â
The General seems to be enjoying itâand he is. He hums pleasantly against your lips, and his thighs are slipping further and further beneath yours as you pull yourself closer and closer. His grip is firm; not enough to hurt, but enough to placate you. Itâs nice. Heâs nice.Â
Itâd be even nicer if there wasnât something screaming in the back of your head. Youâre not sure if itâs you, or the spirit, or some other worldly being like your alter-ego, but whoever is in control of your body chooses to ignore it.Â
Fever be damned, your arms swing around his neck. Your skin feels as though itâs melting against his, like hot wax dripping from a burning candlewick. Your chest presses flush against his, and you can feel a steadily racing heartbeat against your own. Warm and flutteringânot as quick as yours. Youâre sure any quicker and itâs going to explodeâbut quick enough to notice, like a fast drumbeat.Â
Thereâs a cold hand that glides along the centre of your back.Â
You presume it to be his, but something kicks in your stomach when you remember one of his hand locks on your hip bone, and the other has travelled low enough to press gently against the expanse of skin just below your navel.Â
You want it to travel lower. You bury the thought in the back of your head.Â
The spirit breaks through, you think. Youâre suddenly floating again, and maybe thereâs panic there, because you can just feel, in the fleeting moments where youâre shut out again, that your body twists in his hold.Â
From what you can tell, General Jing Yuan keeps you in his arms, and your lips against his.Â
Itâs cold.Â
Whoever stands behind you must be blowing icy winds directly on your back, because you feel yourself shivering.
And then, you choke.Â
Something firm pulls. Not on you, not on your hair, but something inside of you, and it almost hurts. It feels like a part of you is being torn directly from your racing heart, and surging cold fires into your veins.
Itâs like ice crystallises into your blood and blocks your arteries, but the sensation is pulling and pulling and youâre growing breathless.Â
Thatâs you in your body. You feel it. Youâre kicking yourself for it, but youâre trying to fight in the Generalâs hold. Youâre trying to turn around, to fight the shadows of four figures you can now see casted on the street.Â
General Jing Yuan, still, presses firmer against you, and his hands have abandoned your hips to hold your face gently. Itâs comforting, and youâre melting, but all the while, the sensation is growing worse behind you.Â
Youâre worried when you hear a snap, as if theyâve just reached forward and broken your spine into two.
Then, thereâs one final tug, and youâre breathless.Â
You drop fully into the Generalâs embrace. Heâs less sucking your face off now, and more placing calculated soft kisses against your lips every few seconds.Â
You feel boneless, like youâve had your very own soul snatched from your body.Â
But then, you blink slowly. And you realise youâre in your own body again.Â
âHuzzah!âÂ
General Jing Yuan whispers assurances against your lips, and you only find the strength to hum in response. As he makes you even dizzier when his lips trail along the corner of your mouth, you test the strength in your hands.
You can barely make a fist, but itâs you curling your fingers into your palm. Itâs surreal, but itâs you, and only you.Â
Thereâs a girl's voice from behind you, and the iridescence of something a sickeningly familiar green and yellowish iridescence that reflects onto the concrete like water.Â
âAlright! Thatâs another one down! Pats on the backs for everyone! Thanks for the help, Generalâ oh.âÂ
Another voice chimes in. âShould we look away?âÂ
âThis is amazing. Like watching a car crash,â a third says.Â
The fourth sounds irrevocably terrified. âI think Iâm going to vomit.â
Thereâs embarrassment there, but you only giggle against the Generalâs lips. Youâre still exhausted, and youâre sure despite the outfit the spirit had dressed you in that you appear like a walking corpse. Especially in comparison to the General, but, if heâs into that youâll take it.Â
You later learn from the four that had practically violated you that you were possessed by something called a Heliobus. Sounded very not intimidating, especially when the smaller one with the ears had shown the spirit to you while it was trapped in a cage.Â
You recognised one of them as Sushang, the busy little Cloud Knight girl. The third was a nameless Trailblazer from the Astral Express that had given you a fist bump for not passing out during the literal exorcism that they put you through.
Then, there was Guinaifen, who had accidentally live streamed the entire ordeal on her phone.Â
All of it.Â
You werenât fired, no. But, The Master Diviner was furious, but more so at the General for his lack of professionalism and, well⊠ramming his tongue down your throat.Â
General Jing Yuan, was, to say the least, very excited when you returned to work.Â
Youâd tried to ignore the entire thing. There were people offering you weird stares on the street, and the workplace was no different. You kept to yourself mostly, only picking up where youâd left off last week.Â
And you were relieved you werenât stumbling home and throwing up in the tub anymore. That had definitely been a week.Â
Youâre busy trying to finish off with editing official documents when a hand rests on your shoulder.Â
You almost spring from your seat when you lock eyes with the General. Again. You almost smash your hand through the computer screen when anxiety riddles your bones.Â
Thatâd leave a permanent scar. The General had been so kind to make sure your hand was patched up from when youâd shattered your mirror.
âGeneral,â you greet quietly. âGood morning.âÂ
He smiles. âJust Jing Yuan, if you please.â He leans against the side of your desk. âItâs almost time for morning tea, so⊠I was wondering if youâd like to accompany me for a walk now.âÂ
You glance down at your screen.Â
âMorning teaâ was quite literally thirty minutes away.
You look back up at him. âRight now?âÂ
âFresh air wouldnât hurt.âÂ
âSir, Iâm already on thin ice as it is. Madame Fu willââÂ
General Jing Yuan politely waves you off. âEverything will be taken care of for you. Iâll see to it myself.âÂ
You bite down on the inside of your cheeks.
Well.Â
Slowly, and with uncertainty, you stand and dust off your pants. Thereâs a dumb grin on your lips. âGeneral, Iâm starting to think you might be flirting.âÂ
General Jing Yuan leans just barely closer to you and narrows his eyes playfully.Â
You almost died. Still, though your voice wavers, you ask, âI hope you havenât been thinking of me.â But you do hope. You really do.Â
You reach down to turn off your computer screen, but you blindly feel around for the button, because youâre afraid if you look away heâll disappear.Â
He seems to understand. He tilts his head. âMaybe I have.â Then, he offers you his hand. âCome. Weâll walk and talk.âÂ
So, you go with him, and your heart almost leaps out of your chest when he only barely sighs in relief.Â
(Madame Fu watches you both leave, twenty-seven minutes before everyone is scheduled on a fifteen minute break.Â
She, at first, decides sheâll stop you both at the door, but it has been quite a while since General Jing Yuan has worn a genuine smile on his face.Â
With a heavy sigh from her lips, she lets it go.Â
But only for today).Â
âluffy is not smartâ luffy does not win all those fights JUST by punching hard. he is figuring his opponents out! heâs accessing their strengths and weaknesses. heâs seeing what makes them tick. heâs altering his fighting techniques accordingly. he knew the map room was what hurt nami the most, and what arlong valued the most, so he destroyed it. when he was fighting crocodile, he figured out in one fight (while being impaled) that crocodiles weakness was water, and when he ran out of water, he used blood. when fighting enel he knew his electrical powers couldnât effect him because he was rubber, and when enel predicted his moves he ricocheted his punches off the wall so they were unpredictable. & not to mention his emotional intelligence
5/2 Pirates
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Plot: Reader becomes jealous of Sylus and MC's closeness, distancing herself and seeking comfort in another LI. Sylus notices her growing distance and takes action. Based on this request. Pairing: Sylus x Non MC reader Content Warning: Insecurities, injuries, mention of blood, jealousy, angst, hurt/comfort Note: Reader is not the MC of the game. I think I got quite carried away writing this because I am a sucker for angst.
The faint hum of the air condition echoed through the Onychinus base, its opulent, luxurious atmosphere doing little to distract from the knot twisting in your stomach. You stood across from Luke and Kieran, their crow masks tilted slightly as if to gauge your reaction.
"Boss isn't here today," Luke said casually, his hands tucked into his pockets. "Heâs in Linkon, Boss manâs got other things to handle."
Kieran, his mask tilted slightly to the side, gave a confused grunt. "But I thought he was meeting with her...?"
Luke raised a brow, correcting him. "No, no, he was meeting with Miss Hunter."
Miss Hunter.
The words hit you like a sledgehammer, even though they shouldnât have. You were a hunter too, an informant who had been feeding Sylus critical intel on the associationâs movements for two years now. But she was different. Special.
Captain Jennaâs star pupil, with her rare Anhaunsen-class Resonance Evol, was someone Sylus had spent weeks trying to connect with, both literally and emotionally. You werenât blind to the necessity of it; resonating with her was crucial for his goals, ones he hadnât entirely shared with you but that you trusted him to pursue.
Trusted him. Loved him.
You forced a tight smile. "Thanks for the update. I'll let you two get back to it."
Luke and Kieran exchanged a glance, but you were already walking away, the echo of your boots swallowed by the hum of the base.
The ride back to Linkon was supposed to clear your mind. It didnât.
The cool wind whipped against your face, but all it did was sting the tears pooling in your eyes. The road stretched endlessly ahead, yet the pressure in your chest only grew. Sylus hadnât seen you in two months. Two months of unanswered calls and messages reduced to half-hearted responses when they came at all.
You understood why he was focused on her. She was crucial to his plans. She was everything you werenât: poised, pretty, powerful, and, most importantly, someone he needed.
But understanding didnât make it hurt any less.
The world blurred around you as your thoughts spiraled. You had always known your place in Sylusâ life. You were the informant, the quiet insider who helped him stay two steps ahead of the hunters. Somewhere along the way, though, you had fallen for him. For the man who wasnât as cold and calculated as others believed. It had been two long years since you started working with Sylus. Two years filled with secrecy, lies, and hidden truths. But over those years, you'd found yourself tangled in emotions for him that you couldnât shake. Sylus, with his cold authority, his dangerous smile, his complex nature⊠He was all you could think about. He wasnât as dismissive as people thought. He had a way of looking at you when no one was watchingâa fleeting softness that you cherished, even if you couldnât be certain if it was real.
And now, it felt like you were losing him.
Your bike screeched to a halt near Meowâs CafĂ©. You hadnât planned to stop, but the sight of the familiar storefront tugged at you. Perhaps a coffee and a moment to breathe would help.
The glass windows glinted under the midday sun, and your breath hitched as you looked inside.
Sylus was there. With her.
They sat at a small table, a deck of Kitty cards spread between them. He was leaning back, his smirk in full display as she laughed at something he said. It was the kind of laugh that reached her eyes, the kind of moment you had only ever dreamed of sharing with him.
You froze, your hands tightening on your helmet.
For a fleeting second, you wanted to march inside and demand answers. To ask him why he had time to play cards but couldnât return your calls. To tell him how his absence had hollowed you out.
But you didnât.
He looks so happy... you thought bitterly, swallowing the lump in your throat.
The truth gnawed at you. Every interaction, every ignored message, every unread notification on your phoneâit was because of her. Because Sylus had more important things to do. She was the one who mattered now. She was the one who he had to resonate with, had to bond with, had to make fall for him.
And you? You were just a pawn, a toolâforgotten. And there you were. Alone. Watching through a window, the warmth of the cafe contrasting the cold, empty feeling in your stomach. He hadnât even bothered to let you know he was back. He was with her. You couldnât bear to watch any longer, but you couldnât look away either. It felt like the world was spinning faster than you could catch up, and you were left stranded, dizzy, and abandoned.
Instead, you turned away, your chest tight and vision blurred. The world felt suffocating, the weight of your unspoken feelings dragging you down as you climbed back onto your bike.
It was for the best, right?
You couldnât keep doing this. You couldnât keep waiting for him, couldnât keep fooling yourself that there was something real between you two. He was busy. He had her. And you.. well, you didnât even know why you bothered anymore.
The ride back to your apartment was a blur of taillights and muffled engine noise. The cityâs glow that usually brought you some sense of comfort felt glaring and alien tonight. By the time you made it inside, the suffocating silence of your small space was overwhelming.
For someone who prided herself on being strong and independent, you barely made it to your couch before the sobs overtook you. Hot, angry tears streamed down your face as you clutched a pillow to your chest, trying in vain to keep your cries muffled. It felt as though something within you had been ripped apart, leaving an aching, hollow void that throbbed with every thought of him.
You replayed the image of him at the café in your mind, over and over, as if some part of you wanted to punish yourself further. His smirk. Her laughter. The ease of their interaction. It contrasted so sharply with the heaviness that now weighed on your heart.
Every chime of your phone made you flinch, hope briefly sparking to life, only to be cruelly snuffed out when the screen lit up with messages from othersâwork updates, pointless notifications, or friends checking in. Nothing from him. Of course, there wouldnât be.
You wiped at your face, your chest tightening as you scrolled through the last few conversations youâd had with Sylus. They were short, clipped responses. A "thanks" here, an "Iâm busy" there. Youâd convinced yourself for weeks that he wasnât brushing you off, that his focus was just elsewhere. But deep down, you knew. Youâd always known.
You werenât as important to him as he was to you.
That realization settled over you like a heavy blanket, suffocating and final. And yet, you tried to convince yourself it was okay. He doesnât owe me anything, you told yourself, though the thought only twisted the knife deeper. Heâs free to choose who he spends his time with.
But it didnât stop the tears.
The days that followed were a haze of exhaustion and numbness. You threw yourself into your work, spending long hours tracking and confronting wanderers. The physical exhaustion helped, even if just a little. At least when you were in the middle of a fight, the pain in your chest was drowned out by the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
Still, the nights were the worst. Alone in your apartment, the quiet crept in like a suffocating fog. You tried to distract yourselfâreading, cleaning, even organizing old mission reports. Anything to keep your mind from drifting back to him. But it was impossible.
Each time you saw his name in your contacts, you hesitated. Your thumb hovered over the call button more times than you cared to admit, but the fear of hearing his indifferent voice stopped you every time. What would you even say? That you missed him? That you wanted to see him? That youâd fallen for him, even though you knew it would never be mutual?
No. You couldnât do that to yourself.
You worked harder, pushed yourself further. Every wanderer you fought became a stand-in for your frustrations, your insecurities. You told yourself that if you could just stay busy enough, the ache would go away. But no matter how many missions you completed or how many late nights you spent staring at your phone, the weight in your chest never fully lifted.
By the end of the week, you were exhaustedâphysically and emotionally. But you were surviving. Barely. The bell above the door jingled softly as you pushed into the chocolatierâs shop, the rich scent of cocoa and vanilla wrapping around you like a warm embrace. The day had been gruelingâhours of chasing leads, a narrow escape from a particularly aggressive wanderer, and not a single bite of food since morning. Your stomach growled in protest, a sharp reminder that youâd been running on fumes for too long.
Rows of meticulously crafted chocolates gleamed beneath the glass counter, their perfect swirls and shimmering finishes almost too beautiful to eat. Almost. You leaned forward slightly, scanning the display, your reflection ghosting over the pristine surface.
Dark chocolate truffles. Raspberry ganache. Caramel hazelnut clusters. The options were overwhelming, and your indecision felt heavier than it shouldâve. Your chest still ached from the lingering emotions youâd been suppressing all week. The quiet joy of the shop felt alien, like stepping into a world you no longer belonged to.
Just pick something and go, you thought, your fingers tightening on the strap of your bag. But the choices seemed endless, each one whispering promises of sweetness you werenât sure you deserved.
"If youâre struggling," a soft, measured voice spoke behind you, "the pistachio crĂšme chocolate is an excellent choice."
Startled, you turned, your gaze falling on a man standing a few steps away. Tall and lean, he exuded an understated confidence that was both intimidating and captivating. Dark hair fell in against his forehead, and sharp hazel-green eyes, softened by gold flecks peered at you from behind thin-framed glasses. His white doctorâs coat was open, revealing a simple black shirt beneath, and he held a small paper bag in one hand.
You blinked, caught off guard by both his suggestion and his presence. "Oh, uh⊠thank you," you stammered, trying not to sound as flustered as you felt. "Iâll⊠Iâll try that."
The shopkeeper nodded and carefully packed your selection as you stole another glance at the stranger. There was an air of calm authority about him, a quiet assurance that made you feel oddly exposed, like he could see straight through you.
He waited patiently as the shopkeeper handed you your bag, but just as you were about to leave, his voice cut through the quiet againâthis time, more direct. "Chocolates shouldnât be your first meal of the day."
The statement was delivered without malice, his tone stoic and matter-of-fact, yet it hit like a stone to the chest. Your lips parted in shock, the question forming before you could stop it: How does he know? But before you could say anything, he was already moving toward the door. The bells jingled softly as it closed behind him, leaving you standing frozen in place. The strangerâs words lingered, intertwining with the rest of your messy emotions. Your fingers clenched the small bag of chocolates as you tried to process the brief encounter.
A soft gleam on the floor caught your attention, breaking your spiraling thoughts. A wallet, its sleek leather worn but well-kept, lay just inches from where the man had stood. You knelt and picked it up, your heart thudding as you opened it to check for identification.
The name embossed on his hospital ID was like a jolt: Dr. Zayne. Your eyes widened. Doctor Zayne? The name was familiarâa renowned surgeon whose skills and precision were legendary, often described as a miracle worker. Youâd imagined someone older, more weathered, not⊠this.
For a moment, you stared at the ID, piecing together the puzzle of the composed, enigmatic man who had called you out so effortlessly. You tried the number listed on a card tucked into his wallet, but it rang unanswered, the sterile monotone only adding to your frustration.
"Of course, he wouldnât answer," you muttered under your breath, chewing your lip as you debated your next move. The idea of keeping his wallet overnight felt wrong, and leaving it here in the shop seemed equally careless.
That left one option.
The hospital loomed ahead as you approached, its towering structure illuminated against the evening sky. Anxiety gnawed at your insides, twisting with every step you took through the sterile white halls. You werenât sure why you felt so on edgeâmaybe it was the overwhelming sense of inadequacy that had been haunting you lately, or maybe it was the lingering impression of Zayneâs knowing gaze.
At the reception desk, you hesitated, gripping the wallet tightly as you cleared your throat. "Hi, um, Iâm here to return something for Dr. Zayne. He⊠accidentally dropped this."
The receptionist barely looked up, taking the wallet with a polite but indifferent smile. "Dr. Zayne isnât in right now. Iâll make sure he gets this when heâs back."
"Oh," You nodded, murmuring a quick thanks before retreating back toward the exit. You thought nothing of this interaction as you left. You did what you thought was right and left the hospital back towards your apartment.
The days blurred together in a haze of work and routine. You buried yourself in assignments from the Hunterâs Association, throwing yourself into dangerous missions with a single-minded intensity. Anything to keep your mind occupied.
Sylus messaged you once during that time, his tone professional as he asked for updates regarding a lead he was tracking. Youâd responded quickly, sticking strictly to business. No pleasantries, no banterâjust the information he needed. He didnât press, didnât call you out for your uncharacteristic coldness. Maybe he didnât notice. Or maybe he did and chose not to say anything.
That night, you jogged through the dimly lit streets, your breath fogging in the cool air as you tried to exorcise the restless energy gnawing at you. The rhythmic slap of your sneakers against the pavement was grounding, steady. Jogging had always been your go-to, a way to clear your head and silence the endless stream of "what-ifs" and "if-onlys" that plagued your mind.
You shook your head, annoyed at yourself. There was no point in dwelling. Sylus wasnât the kind of person to give you what you wanted, and even if he did, could you trust it? Could you trust him?
But no amount of movement could completely shake Sylus from your thoughts.
His voice, his presenceâit clung to you, even now.
Why didnât he ask how Iâve been? Why didnât I?
The sound of skidding tires yanked you out of your spiraling thoughts.
âLook out!â
Before you could process the warning, a cyclist veered wildly toward you, their momentum too strong to stop. There wasnât even time to brace yourself. The impact hit like a freight train, and suddenly, you were on the ground, tangled with the bike and its rider. Pain blossomed sharp and hot in your knees as the asphalt scraped them raw.
For a moment, you just lay there, stunned. The world tilted unsteadily, the city lights smearing together like a watercolor painting.
âHey, you okay?â The cyclistâs voice snapped you back. They were scrambling off you, helmet slightly askew but otherwise unscathed. You shook your head to clear it, wincing as you sat up. You pushed yourself up, shaking the dizziness from your head, and checked on the cyclist who had crashed into you. They were already scrambling to their feet, looking slightly dazed but otherwise unharmed, their helmet and guards having done their job.
âIâm fine,â you managed, even as your knees throbbed in protest. âAre you?â
âYeah, thanks to the gear,â they said, pulling off their helmet to inspect a small crack along its surface. âGuess it did its job.â
Relief washed over you. âGood. Let me justââ
âWait.â A different voice cut in, firm but calm. You stood there, still trying to regain your bearings when a figure appeared beside you, moving with a grace that immediately caught your attention. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw who it was. Dr. Zayne. The same man who had crossed your path in the chocolatier's shop just days ago. His sharp eyes locked onto yours, and for a split second, everything else seemed to vanish. His expression shifted from mild surprise to something more concerned as he took in your state.
Without saying a word, he immediately began assessing you, his gaze narrowing at the blood now staining your knees. You winced, feeling the sting of the cuts that had begun to bloom with a fiery intensity, but you were determined not to show it. You were used to painâused to the sharp discomfort that came with being a hunter. You didnât need help. You could handle this on your own. Youâd always been able to.
But Dr. Zayne wasnât having any of it.
His voice, low and steady, broke through the haze of your thoughts. "Youâre bleeding. Those need first aid," he said firmly, his frown deepening as he glanced at your scraped knees. "Sit. Wait here. Iâll be back in a minute."
You opened your mouth to protest, to tell him you were fine, but the words caught in your throat. He wasnât asking. His tone, though gentle, was authoritativeâdemanding in its own quiet way. There was something about the way he carried himself, that calm, unflinching presence, that made it impossible to argue.
"Iâm fine, I am a hunter." you managed to say, your voice rougher than you intended. "I can handle it at home. Really." You tried to force a reassuring smile
âIs this a hunter thing?â he interrupted, one brow arching skeptically. âAre all of you this stubborn about basic care, or is it just you?â
The words should have been biting, but his tone was almost... patient. Like he was accustomed to dealing with difficult people.
You flushed, suddenly hyper-aware of the sting in your knees and the heat of his gaze. âIâm not being stubborn,â you muttered. âI just donât want to bother anyone over something so small.â
âSmall injuries have a way of turning into bigger problems,â he said, folding his arms. âAnd Iâm not bothered. As a doctor, Iâm asking you to wait here. Iâll be back in a minute.â
Without waiting for your protest, he turned and strode off, leaving you no room to argue.
You sat stiffly on the bench, gripping the edge as the minutes dragged on. The ache in your knees was nothing compared to the gnawing discomfort blooming in your chest. Anxiety clawed at you, whispering insidious doubts.
Heâs wasting his time on you.He probably thinks youâre pathetic and weak.Why couldnât you have just gotten up and left?
Your fingers curled into fists, the tension radiating through your body.
The sound of footsteps interrupted your spiraling thoughts, and Dr. Zayne was back, carrying a small first aid kit. He knelt in front of you without a word, his hands steady as he cleaned the cuts on your knees. The gentle pressure of his fingers as he worked felt almost surreal. His silence wasnât uncomfortableâit was just⊠calm. You found yourself drawn to it, to the quiet that seemed to settle around him.
"Youâre lucky," he said, glancing up at you as he bandaged your knees. "That couldâve been a lot worse."
You nodded, the words caught in your throat. There were so many things you wanted to say, things you wanted to ask him, but you didnât know where to start. So you remained silent, watching as he finished his work, his hands moving with the practiced precision of someone who had seen too many injuries to count.
When he was done, he straightened up and met your gaze. "You should be more careful," he said softly, his voice a little lighter than before, though there was still a note of concern underlying his words. "Next time, donât run so late at night. You never know what could happen."
You forced a tight smile, the words feeling like they were coming from someone else. "Iâll keep that in mind," you said, your voice quieter now.
Dr. Zayne took a step back after finishing the bandages, his sharp gaze softening ever so slightly as he packed the first aid kit. You glanced at him, your mouth opening to thank him, but before you could get the words out, he said, almost in unison, âThank you.â
Both of you froze, the simultaneous expressions of gratitude hanging awkwardly in the air. A surprised laugh slipped out of you, breaking the tension.
âYou first,â he said, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
You swallowed, trying to ignore the heat creeping up your neck. âI was just going to say thank you for⊠you know, helping with this.â You gestured vaguely toward your knees, the bandages clinging to your skin. âYou didnât have to.â
The moment stretched between you, awkward yet somehow comforting. Zayne gave a small, almost amused smile at the simultaneous gratitude, but his gaze softened when it landed on you, his concern still present.
"Thank you for returning my wallet," he said, his tone steady but with a hint of appreciation.
His words caught you off guard. âOh, right! That. It wasnât a big deal, really.â You fidgeted with the hem of your sleeve, avoiding his gaze. âI found it at the chocolatier shop. I figured it was better to bring it to the hospital than leave it lying around.â
He nodded thoughtfully, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer than necessary. âI appreciate it. Not many people would go out of their way like that.â
You tried not to let his kindness throw you off, but it wasnât easy. There was something about Zayne that made you feel... small in a way you didnât like to feel. He was kind, yes, but that kindness made you wonder if you were deserving of it. Why should you be the one he cared about?
But before you could dwell on that any further, his voice cut through your swirling thoughts.
"Have you eaten today?" His tone was light, but there was an edge of sincerity beneath it, one that made your stomach twist in a way that had nothing to do with hunger. It reminded you of that conversation in the shop, of how he had so effortlessly read through your tiredness.
The sheepish look that crossed your face mustâve been obvious, because Zayne sighed, the sound so deep that it almost felt like a reprimand. He pinched the bridge of his nose in a gesture that was both familiar and surprisingly endearing.
âYouâve got to take care of yourself,â he said, his voice almost too gentle for the weight of his words. âItâs not healthy to go without food, especially if youâre going to keep running around like you hunters do.â
You opened your mouth to protest, to tell him it wasnât a big deal, but Zayne didnât give you the chance.
"Thereâs a diner close by. Itâs the least I can do to thank you for returning my wallet."
You shook your head instinctively, trying to backpedal. "Itâs really not necessary," you said, but Zayne wasnât having any of it. His eyes were firm, and there was an undeniable warmth behind them that almost made you feel guilty for refusing.
"Yes, it is," he replied, his tone steady but with a hint of finality. "Now, come on.â
You hesitated for a moment, the unease building in your chest like a brick wall, but the thought of Zayneâs calm, commanding presence made it impossible to say no. So, with a quiet sigh, you relented.
"Iâll pay," you muttered as he led the way, the words almost reflexive. You always felt like you had to pay your wayâlike it was your responsibility to do so, especially with someone who had helped you, even in the smallest of ways. You were used to standing on your own two feet.
Zayne only gave you a side glance, his lips quirking up in the barest of smiles. "No, you wonât. Itâs my thank you, remember?"
The diner wasnât far from where you had been, a cozy, low-lit place with a soft hum of quiet conversations and the clink of silverware against plates. The familiar scent of warm foodâsteak, mashed potatoes, and the unmistakable aroma of fresh breadâimmediately filled the air as you stepped inside. You followed Zayne to a small booth in the back, the vinyl seats creaking under your weight as you slid in.
You wanted to say somethingâthank you, maybeâbut the words felt stuck, trapped somewhere in the pit of your stomach, along with everything else that had been piling up for weeks. Zayne didnât seem to notice, his focus already turning to the menu as he gestured for you to pick something.
You wanted to ask him more, to understand him in the same way you understood the empty streets you ran through, but you couldnât shake the feeling that youâd just end up looking foolish. So, instead, you stared at the menu in front of you, unable to focus on the choices, as your mind churned with questions that had no answers.
Zayne ordered for both of you, his voice low as he made his choices, and when he looked at you, you caught a flicker of somethingâperhaps curiosity, or was it concern? It was hard to tell.
"You should eat more regularly," he said again, as though the words were a reminder he had to repeat for his own peace of mind. You nodded, letting the silence fill the space between you for a moment.
The food arrived, warm and satisfying, and you took a bite, surprised at how hungry you were despite the earlier denials. Zayne watched you for a moment, his gaze softening as you ate, but you couldnât bring yourself to meet it. His concern, his careâit felt too much. You werenât used to people worrying about you.
But as the meal went on, you found yourself starting to relax, the initial tension loosening from your shoulders. Zayne was easy to talk to, his calm, steady presence settling you in a way you hadnât expected. By the end of the meal, you felt... lighter.
"Call me Zayne," he said when the check came, his voice quiet but sincere.
You blinked, a little caught off guard by the request. "Zayne?" you echoed, testing the name on your tongue.
"Yes," he replied with a small, patient smile. "Itâs easier than 'Dr. Zayne,' donât you think?"
You blinked, taken aback. âAre you sure? I mean, youâve earned the titleââ
âAnd Iâll still have it in the hospital,â he interrupted, amusement flickering in his eyes. âBut here, itâs just Zayne.â
You nodded slowly, testing the name in your mind. It felt strange, almost too personal. But there was something grounding about it, too.
By the time dessert arrived, the knot of anxiety in your chest had loosened considerably. The warmth of the diner, the steady cadence of his voice, and the shared laughter over a poorly made joke had a way of pulling you out of your own head. For the first time in what felt like weeks, you werenât obsessing over your failures or doubts.
As you finished your meal, Zayne pulled out his phone and slid it across the table. âHere,â he said simply. âAdd your number. In case you ever need anything.â
You hesitated, the gesture feeling far more intimate than it probably was. But his expression was patient, expectant, and you found yourself entering your contact information before you could overthink it. When you handed the phone back, his lips twitched into a faint smile.
âThanks again for returning my wallet,â he said, his tone lighter now. âAnd for the company.â
You felt your cheeks flush, but this time, it wasnât entirely unpleasant. âItâs not a problem,â you murmured, a small smile tugging at your lips.
As you stepped out of the diner and into the cool night air, a strange sense of calm settled over you. Zayne walked you to the corner where your paths would diverge, his presence steady and reassuring.
âTake care of yourself,â he said, his voice softer now, almost intimate.
âYou too,â you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
The dinerâs warmth lingered even as you stepped into the cool night air. For the first time in what felt like weeks, your chest didnât feel as tight, the oppressive weight that had been bearing down on you now lifting slightly. You still felt the ache of Sylusâ absenceâa hollow, gnawing sensation that seemed to creep in whenever you let your guard down, but it wasnât as suffocating as it had been. Instead, a new sensation fluttered in its place, tentative and fragile: excitement. It was strange to feel this way, to look forward to the possibility of a friendship formed under such unlikely circumstances. Zayneâs calm demeanor, his steady presence, had surprised you.
As you walked, the sound of fluttering wings caught your attention. Instinctively, your heart skipped, your mind jumping to Mephisto. You tilted your head to the dark sky, half-expecting to see the telltale silhouette of his familiar. But it was just a cluster of pigeons, their wings catching the faint glow of the streetlights as they soared away.
Right. Of course. It was unlikely that Sylus was watching you tonight.
You exhaled, a breath you hadnât realized you were holding, and forced your thoughts away from him. Zayne had offered you a rare moment of normalcy, and you werenât about to let your memories of Sylus overshadow that.
------------------------------------------------------------------
The following weeks were a blur of activity, and before long, you found yourself stationed at an outpost on the outskirts of Linkon. A metaflux surge had disrupted the area, and the temporary makeshift hospital was bustling with injured workers, hunters, and even a few civilians caught in the chaos. The air was thick with tension, the metallic tang of metaflux faint but persistent, a reminder of the unseen dangers that lurked just beyond the safety of the encampment.
Zayne was assigned as the doctor for the outpost, and you often found yourself crossing paths with him. At first, your interactions were briefâa nod here, a shared glance thereâbut over time, you began to talk. It started with simple pleasantries, discussions about the metaflux readings or the influx of patients, but it wasnât long before the conversations deepened.
You learned that Zayne had a dry sense of humor, his sharp wit often catching you off guard. Heâd tease you about your stubbornness, and youâd retort with a quip about his overly serious nature. Despite his professionalism, there was a warmth to him, a quiet compassion that made him easy to trust. And though youâd never admit it, you found yourself looking forward to those moments of shared laughter, those fleeting glimpses of something lighter amidst the chaos.
But even as your friendship with Zayne grew, Sylus lingered at the edges of your thoughts, a shadow you couldnât quite shake. The conversations you had with him were sparse and strictly work-relatedâupdates from the Association, bits of intel you passed along to him. It felt transactional, a far cry from the intimacy you once shared. Yet, every time his name appeared on your screen, your heart still raced, betraying the fragile boundaries youâd tried to set.
One evening, a message from Sylus broke the monotony of your routine.
âCome over tomorrow night, Darling. I have an exquisite wine Iâd like you to tryâprocured it during a recent deal.â
The invitation was simple, almost casual. For a moment, you imagined itâthe rich scent of wine filling the air, his sharp yet alluring gaze fixed on you as he poured you a glass. But reality quickly crept in, dragging you back to the present. You couldnât go. You couldnât risk it. Not when your heart was still so fragile, still aching in ways you didnât want to admit.
You stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity, your fingers hovering over the keyboard as your mind raced. The truth was, you wanted to see him. But you knew better. You had to keep your distanceâfor your own sake, if nothing else.
âIâm tired..'
You typed, the words feeling hollow as they formed.
'Busy day tomorrow. Maybe another time.â
You hesitated before hitting send, the weight of the message pressing down on you. When his reply came, it was as simple as his invitation.
âOkay.â
The finality of it hit you like a brick, and for a moment, you felt like your breath had been stolen away. He didnât push. He didnât argue. That empty âokayâ hung in the air, leaving you with the quiet realization that, once again, you had lost yourself in the haze of someone elseâs world.
You tried not to read too much into it, but you couldnât shake the feeling that he had already moved on. That he didnât care enough to fight for your attention. Instead, it felt like you were just a passing thought, like an aftertaste that wasnât worth savoring.
Miss Hunter. The words echoed in your mind. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing the tears to stay behind your eyelids, but they pressed hard, a sting that never seemed to fully fade. You rubbed your forehead, trying to push away the thoughts. But even as you did, you couldnât escape the suffocating feeling in your chestâthe one that always came when you were reminded of how little you meant to him. You felt foolish, but you couldnât help it. It was like you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for him to come back, to pull you back into his orbit with that practiced charm, that voice that made you feel wanted, if only for a little while.
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The dinner with Zayne had been a welcome reprieve. It had been two weeks since you last saw him, the demands of work pulling both of you in different directions. But tonight, seated across from him in a small, cozy bistro, you found solace in the familiar rhythm of your conversations. The mellow lights softened the sharp angles of his face as he recounted a mishap earlier in the week involving a particularly irritable patient.
His dry humor, paired with the subtle lift of his brow, drew a laugh from youâa genuine, light sound that felt foreign after the weight of recent days. For a while, the world outside blurred away. You werenât Miss Hunter; you werenât anything other than a person sharing a meal with a friend.
As the meal wound down, Zayne looked at you over the rim of his glass, his expression calm. âYouâre doing better than when we first met.â he remarked softly.
You blinked, momentarily caught off guard. âAm I?â
He nodded. His calm demeanor always had a way of grounding you, and tonight was no exception.
The meal wrapped up with the two of you trading small updates and light banter. You paid for your half of the meal, Zayne insisting it wasnât necessary, but youâd insisted back. There was a sense of normalcy here, something you werenât willing to let go of easily. When you parted ways outside the diner, the night air was cool and quiet. Zayneâs warm farewell echoed softly in your ears as you waved goodbye and headed back toward your apartment.
As you walked, you felt lighter somehow. The stress of the past few weeks hadnât vanished, but Zayneâs steady presence had reminded you of something importantâmoments of peace still existed, even in the chaos.
The faint scent of lavender greeted you as you unlocked your apartment door, a hint of the candle youâd left burning earlier. The lights were off, and the air felt too stillâunnaturally so. Your heart skipped, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end. A lump formed in your throat, panic curling its fingers around your chest.
You flicked the light switch, and the sudden brightness flooded the room, revealing the figure sitting on your couch. Sylus.
You froze. Your body stiffened, caught between fight or flight.
Your yelp of surprise filled the space, your pulse racing as you clutched the doorframe for support. âWhatâSylus? What are you doing here?â
He was sitting on your couch, one arm draped casually along the backrest, his other hand resting on his knee. The dim light of the room softened the sharp edges of his face, but his expression was anything but gentle. His eyes, sharp and unyielding, tracked your every movement as if he were dissecting you with just a glance.
âHowâwhat are you doing here?â you stammered, your voice shaky as your pulse raced.
Sylus didnât respond right away. Instead, he tilted his head slightly, his gaze dragging over you slowly, deliberately. His silence was louder than any words he could have spoken, and it made your skin prickle.
âDarling,â he finally murmured, his voice low and smooth, laced with something you couldnât quite name. âYou look⊠exhausted.â
You blinked, still standing frozen by the door. His tone was soft, almost tender, but it was the way his jaw tightened, the way his fingers tapped against his knee, that betrayed his underlying tension.
âY-yeah,â you stammered, your voice wavering as you took a cautious step forward. âItâs been a long day. What are you doing here?â
Sylus leaned back, the leather of the couch creaking faintly under his weight. âA long day,â he echoed, his lips curving into a faint smile that didnât reach his eyes. âYet you had time for dinner.â
âIâŠâ you faltered, scrambling for a response. âIt was justâŠâ
âJust dinner,â he interrupted smoothly, his tone unreadable. âWith⊠someone else.â
The air felt thick, charged with a tension that made your skin prickle. You opened your mouth to respond, but the words stuck in your throat. His eyes narrowed slightly, his expression still calm but his body language telling a different story. The way his fingers drummed against his knee, the slight clench of his jaw, the flicker of something dark in his gaze.
Your heart pounded, your thoughts racing. Why was he here? What did he want? And why did his presenceâhis very existence in your spaceâmake your chest ache in that familiar, suffocating way?
âI didnât thinkâŠâ You stopped yourself, your voice trembling. âYou didnât say youâd be coming by. You canât justââ
âCanât just what?â he asked, his voice dangerously soft as he rose from the couch, his movements fluid and deliberate. âShow up to see whatâs wrong?â
Your breath hitched as he closed the distance between you, his height and presence suddenly overwhelming. âNothingâs wrongâŠâyou managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.
âIs that so?â he murmured, tilting his head slightly, his eyes boring into yours. âBecause from where Iâm standing, it seems like youâve been avoiding me, Darling.â
The accusation hung in the air, sharp and unyielding.
âIâve been busyâŠâ you said weakly, your voice lacking conviction.
âBusy,â he repeated, his gaze flicking over you again, this time with something close to disdain. âToo busy for me, but not too busy for⊠him.â
Your hands fidgeted at your sides, your breath coming in shallow bursts. You wanted to move, to put distance between you, but your legs felt rooted to the spot. âI didnât think dinner with a friend would..â
âFriend?â he interrupted, the single word slicing through your sentence. His lips curved into something that might have been a smile, but it didnât reach his eyes.
Your heart pounded painfully against your ribs, the anxiety swirling in your chest mixing with something elseâsomething raw and painful that you didnât want to name. The memories of your last exchange with Sylus came flooding backâthe curt messages, the unspoken finality of his âokay.â You had tried to convince yourself that it didnât matter, that you didnât need his validation. But standing here now, under the weight of his gaze, you felt every crack in the fragile walls you had built to keep him out.
âI donât understand what you want from me,â you said finally, the words trembling as they left your lips.
His eyes softened slightly, but the tension in his posture didnât ease. For a moment, he looked like he wanted to say something, something important, but the moment passed as quickly as it came. Instead, he reached out, his fingers brushing against your cheek in a gesture so gentle it felt almost foreign.
âDonât make me feel like Iâm a stranger to you.â he said quietly, his voice carrying a hint of vulnerability that made your chest ache.
Donât make me feel like Iâm a stranger to you. The words echoed in your mind, repeating, twisting, until all you could hear was the raw edge of betrayal laced in his tone.
You let out a bitter laugh, the sound sharp and bitter, a little too loud in the quiet of your apartment. Your chest tightened, and for a moment, you felt the space around you grow smaller. You couldnât breatheâcouldnât think. All you could feel was the heat of anger building inside of you, raw and unrefined.
âThatâs rich,â you scoffed, finally managing to find your voice. âThatâs really rich, coming from you of all people.â
Sylus blinked, a subtle flash of surprise crossing his face, but it quickly masked over. His lips tightened, his brow furrowed ever so slightly, but it wasnât enough. You had to push, you couldnât hold back now. The words were tumbling out before you could even stop them. Your breath hitched, a strangled sob lodged somewhere in the back of your throat, but you refused to let it spill. You wouldnât let him see you breakânot like this, not in front of him. You knew the truth. He knew the truth. It hurt, yes, but you werenât the one to blame.
âYou've been treating me like a stranger for months,â you continued, your voice trembling with anger you hadn't fully realized was there. âBarely responding to my messages, not answering my calls, and when I do see you, itâs like you canât be bothered. You donât even see me.â You felt the weight of every unreturned message, every unanswered call, every promise left in limbo. âIâve had to hear from Luke and Kieran that youâre in Linkon. But you couldnât even make time to see me.â
You felt the ache deep in your chest, that familiar, suffocating knot forming. He didnât deserve your pain. Not anymore. You wouldnât let him have that. Not this time.
You took a shaky breath, suddenly feeling raw, exposed. âYou donât have to feel obligated to check on me, Sylus,â you said, your words clipped and cutting through the thick silence between you. âYou donât have to feel pity for me. I know where I stand. I know my place in your life.â
His expression, that unreadable mask, cracked for the briefest of moments. His lips parted, his gaze flicking to your face, then back down to the floor. His jaw clenched. But his eyes⊠They werenât the same as theyâd been earlier. The hardness was gone, replaced by something far more dangerous, something even more intimate. The storm was gathering, but it wasnât just in the airâno, it was inside him too.
âYou know where you stand?â His voice was quieter now, but there was an edge to it, a slight tightness you hadnât noticed before. He took a step forward, his body closing the space between you, like a wave of raw energy crashing toward you. His proximity only made your pulse race faster, but you couldnât back down. Not now.
âIâm just an informant, right?â you bit out, every word feeling like it sliced through the night air, cutting through the tension like a blade. âYou donât have to pretend you care, Sylus. So donât stand there with that look on your face like Iâm some important thing you need to check on.â
The air between you grew heavy, thick with unsaid words and stifled tension. Every inch of your body was telling you to get away, to shut down, to stop this before it tore you apart. But your feet felt heavy, stuck in place. Sylusâs presence was like gravity, pulling you toward him.
"You think that's all you are?" he murmured, his voice dangerously low, like the calm before the thunder. The way he said it made your heart stutter in your chest. It was both a question and an accusation or a challenge.
But there was something else in his voice. Something you couldnât quite place. His eyes were intense, too intense, and they searched yours like he was looking for the answer. The truth.
âI didnât want to hurt you,â he continued, his words clipped, as though they were difficult for him to say. âBut I couldnât....couldnât make sense of it. Of you.â
It was the first time that he seemed genuinely vulnerable, and it left you breathless and confused. You had always wondered if there was more beneath his cold exterior. You had always told yourself that he cared. But you had never dared to confront him.
His hand was close enough now to reach out, his fingers barely brushing the edge of your wrist. The air between you was still thick with everything unsaid, everything unhealed. And yet, despite the words that had been thrown between you, there was something undeniably magnetic in the tension. The ache in your chest, the rawness, the feelings of betrayalâthey didnât wash away just because you said them out loud.
God, you hated him for this.
But part of you yearned for him. That part that still felt tethered to him, despite the distance.
Sylusâs fingers hovered over your wrist, his touch like fire against your skin. For a moment, the storm between you calmed, leaving only the faintest echo of it behind. The weight of his gaze, the force of his presenceâit seemed to drown out the rest of the world.
He said nothing for a moment, his lips parting as though he wanted to speak but couldnât find the words. His eyes darkened further, not with anger now, but with something you couldnât quite define.
You took a breath, your body suddenly feeling too small beneath his gaze. The storm was still inside. You had to move away. Your heart pounded as if it were trying to escape your chest, desperate to flee from whatever was stirring inside you. You couldn'tâno, you wouldnâtâlet yourself get caught up in whatever this feeling was. You were not some fool, ready to throw everything away for the temporary pull of his presence. You knew better than that. You had to.
Every instinct screamed at you to retreat, to put some distance between you and the mess of emotions bubbling under your skin. His sharp gaze was enough to make your knees tremble, and it took everything in you not to look back, not to let him see the quiet devastation that flickered inside you.
âYou need to leave⊠Sylus.â You whispered. You staggered back a few steps, your breathing shallow, desperate. Your feet felt like lead, yet you forced yourself to walk away. You turned your back to him, willing your legs to move, hoping to escape before you got sucked into whatever dark vortex of feelings he was drawing you into.
He didnât move. Instead, you heard the familiar click of his boots against the floor as he took a single, deliberate step forward. âWhy?â His voice, low and curious, sent a shiver down your spine. It was almost too intimate, as if he were searching for a piece of you, trying to understand what you couldnât explain.
You didnât want to look at him. Didnât want to see the quiet confusion on his faceâthe faint flicker of disappointment that stung like salt in an open wound. You couldnât let him see your weakness, couldnât let him know how badly it hurt to be around him, how badly it hurt not to be around him.
âIs it so you can run back to your precious âfriendâ?â The words dripped with something unspoken, something that made your stomach twist.
You couldnât look at him. You couldnât. Not when his voiceâthat voice, the one that threaded through the air like silkâwas digging into your mind like this. The word echoed in your ears, almost mocking you, and you felt something fragile snap inside you. The weight of the years youâd spent keeping distance, of guarding your heart against him, against whatever he made you feel, started to unravel. But you couldnât let it.
You took another step away from him. One more step, you told yourself. Just one more. You didnât need this.
Dark tendrils wrapped around you as you move, pulling you back. He was using his evol to pull you back. You didnât need him pulling you in again. But then it came. That touch. He pulled you to him, forceful yet intimate, and your breath caught in your throat. You were too close. Too close to the edge of losing yourself, of falling into his presence.
His hands...no, his fingersâsnaked around your waist before you even knew what was happening. You gasped, body going stiff in surprise, but his grip tightened, pulling you back into him. You tried to keep moving, tried to pull away, but it was useless. His hold was ironclad, his presence consuming. His grip tightened slightly, but there was an almost comforting pressure there, a subtle reminder that despite the dispute between you, there was something undeniable between the two of you.
âWhy are you running?â His voice was a whisper against your ear, the words smooth like silk, but there was something jagged beneath themâsomething urgent, raw.
You struggled to hold yourself together, but the more you fought it, the more it pulledâthis unbearable need to lean into him, to give in to the chaos that his proximity stirred in you. You knew you shouldnât, but everything in you wanted to. You felt the ache of wanting something you couldn't have, the sting of the distance you had put between you and the thing that was somehow both poison and relief.
His hands tightened slightly, his thumb brushing over your ribs in a movement that sent a jolt through your entire system. The words you wanted to say, the reasons you needed to get away from him, all felt so small and pointless now. How could you possibly explain this? This tension, this pull? How could you say that being near him felt like the most excruciating thing in the world, but also the only thing that made you feel alive?
âYouâre not just an informant to me,â he breathed, his words slipping under your skin, curling into the tight spaces of your chest. âI didnât realize I was hurting you this much. That youâd want to distance yourself from me...â His tone softened at the end, but it only made everything worse. The tenderness in his voiceâhis tendernessâwas like a dagger in your side, making the blood in your veins freeze. You wanted to say something, anything, but all you could hear was the deafening rush of your own heartbeat. You tried to stay composed, but the words were caught in your throat, and your body was still pressed so tightly against his, your breath shallow, your pulse thudding painfully against your ribs.
Why was this so hard? Why couldnât you just say itâsay that you couldnât let him get close again? That you couldnât survive another wound, another aching, empty feeling in your chest because of him? But the way his hands tightened, the warmth of his body against yours, made everything you were feeling a little too real.
You could feel his heartbeat against your back, the rhythm in sync with your own, and the pull of him was growing stronger. You could feel your anxiety bubbling up, the gnawing fear at the pit of your stomach. Was this just him toying with you? Was he trying to pull you into his world of darkness and manipulation? Or did he really care?
Your head was spinning. The emotions warred within youâanger, confusion, guilt, and something else. Something that made your heart race faster and your thoughts scatter like leaves in the wind.
âLet me go,â you whispered, your voice barely audible over the storm that raged around you.
But you didnât pull away. You didnât push him off.
Sylus' grip on you tightened, his arm like a steel band around your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left between you. His chest rises and falls against your back as his breath brushes against your ear, warm and heavy. Itâs as if heâs afraid, like if he lets go for even a second, heâll lose you forever. You can feel the tension radiating from him, but also something softer, something desperate.
âNo, Darling,â he murmurs, his voice low and thick with emotion, his tone possessive, as though the very idea of you slipping away shatters him. âYouâre not going anywhere and neither am I.â
"Youâre going to stay," He pulls you even closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear as he speaks again, quieter this time, but laced with something raw and vulnerable. "...and youâre going to listen to me. I wonât let you walk away from this."
You can hear the flicker of something beneath his wordsâregret. And then, his lips ghost over the sensitive skin of your neck, lingering just a little longer than necessary. He slowly spins you around, to face him. His voice softens, almost apologetic. âI know I was a dick. I know I didnât respond to you, and Iâm sorry for that. I didnât know how to handle it⊠handle us. It confused me, and instead of facing it, I pushed you away.â His breath catches slightly, and you feel his chest tighten against your back.
His hand moves to cup your cheek, tilting your face slightly toward him, his thumb brushing over your skin as though itâs a promise, an apology. The weight of his gaze is intense, but thereâs also something tender there, something that wants to pull you back in, closer. âI know youâre still hurting, darling. I see it. And I... Iâll spend a lifetime making up for it, because thatâs what I want. A lifetime. With you. Not as some informant or some... thing, but as my beloved. You. By my side. Always.â
He pauses, letting his words hang in the air between you. His voice drops, the quiet sorrow of his confession sending a twinge of guilt through you. "I donât have the right to ask this of you, I know," Sylus continues, his voice thick with emotion. "But seeing you push me away⊠Itâs harder than I ever thought it would be. Harder than I want to admit." He presses his forehead lightly against your temple, his breath shaky. "Iâve never needed someone the way I need you, and I didnât know how to tell you that. But I do. I need you."
You can feel him tense slightly, the shift in his demeanor telling you that his thoughts have turned darker. His voice lowers, the jealousy evident in the way he speaks, though itâs wrapped in a softness that almost makes it harder to bear.
"And Dr. Zayne... I canât stand the thought of him being so close to you," Sylus adds, his voice low and thick with a possessiveness that unsettles you in its intensity. "It kills me, you know? Watching him with you, hearing you laugh like that with him, as if I donât even exist." His arm tightens again, almost painfully, as if he needs to remind you, remind both of you, where you truly belong. "I know I have no claim on you... but... I can't help but feel like thereâs a part of you that wants him in a way that... I can't compete with." His voice hardens, jealousy dripping from every word. "It eats at me, knowing he has a part of you that Iâm fighting for."
"Sylus..." Your voice cracked slightly as you repeated his name, your breath hitching, caught in the tension between you. His name felt heavy on your tongue, like it was both a question and an answer. You had never said it so quietly, so vulnerably. The memories of earlier came rushing backâhim with her, that delicate smile he gave her, the way she leaned into him just a little too comfortably. It had burned in your chest, the jealousy creeping in with a venomous ache.
The words tumbled out before you could stop them, too fast to gather, too painful to hide. "I felt the same... when I saw you with her," you confessed, swallowing thickly. "I felt so... so useless, Sylus. When I saw you with her, it felt like... like she was everything you needed. Better than me. And that... it broke me, Sylus. I felt like I wasnât enough, like I wasnât... worth it.â
The words stung, bitter and unrelenting, but the weight of them was finally lifted as you let them spill out. You felt exposed, naked in your insecurity, but somehow, it was all you could do to stand there and wait for him to respond. You could feel the weight of it, of how small youâd felt in that moment, how unworthy you had become in your own eyes. The self-doubt gnawed at your insides, each thought of her with him twisting like a knife in your gut.
Sylusâs expression softened, his features melting into a tender sadness, as though he were seeing you for the first time, truly seeing you. His hand reached out slowly, almost hesitantly, as if afraid to shatter the fragile space between you. His touch was a gentle comfort, his fingers brushing against your cheek, his voice a low whisper, "Darling, you're none of that... none of it, I swear."
You shook your head, feeling the tears threatening, but you couldnât let them fall, not yet. His words were kind, but the ache in your chest was still there, an unhealed wound.
He continued, his voice steady but thick with something deeper. "I didnât know you felt that way... about her, in the same way I feel about Zayne." His gaze met yours, and for the first time tonight, it wasnât uncertain. It was so gentle, so soft, tender. "But you need to know, you're it for me, DarlingâŠ" he murmured, his fingers curling around yours, grounding you in the quiet storm of your emotions. "Yes, I want help from her, but..." He paused, as if weighing his words carefully, "...I need you more." His words were a balm to the wounds that had festered within you, but the tenderness in his eyes was what finally reached you. His hand slid down to your shoulder, his thumb grazing the skin there. His warmth surrounded you, and you let yourself sink into the comfort of his words. The jealousy, the insecurity that had burned so fiercely in you when you saw him with her, melted in the face of the tenderness he was offering now.
You swallowed, trying to steady yourself as your heart raced, the intensity of the moment almost overwhelming. âZayne⊠Zayneâs just a friend,â you said, your voice fragile but firm, âsomeone who helped me... helped me see past the stuff in my head. After everything, I just... needed someone to remind me that Iâm not broken.â
Sylus's eyes softened even more, the depth of his gaze sending shivers down your spine. He nodded slowly, his expression filled with understanding. The tension between you didnât disappear entirely, but it was now laced with something more tender. More real.
âYouâre not broken, Darling.â he repeated, and there was a quiet strength in his voice, something that made you believe him more than you ever had before. âYouâre everything Iâve ever needed... and more.â
"I... Iâm sorry," you whispered, a lump in your throat as you looked up at him. "I never wanted to make you feel like I didnât care. I just... I was afraid youâd choose her over me."
Sylusâs fingers brushed against the nape of your neck, pulling you closer, his forehead pressing gently against yours. "You never have to apologize for that, Darling." he murmured, his voice warm, his breath mingling with yours. âIt was my fault and I accept that.â
The room was quiet, save for the soft sound of your breathing, as Sylus stood before you, his face drawn with intensity. The flickering light from the lamp cast soft shadows across his features, but his gaze... his gaze was sharp, focused entirely on you.
"I love you, Darling" he said, his words lingering in the air as though they were the first time he had allowed himself to say them out loud. "Iâm in love with you," he confessed, his voice steady despite the raw emotion that tinged it. "Iâve been in love with you for a while now, and Iâve tried to deny it. Tried to hide it from you and myself, but I canât anymore. I wonât. I love you, and I need you to know that."
The breath you hadnât realized you were holding caught in your throat. Everything in you froze, then splintered. The confession, so pure, so vulnerable, hit you with a force you hadnât been prepared for. You stood there, unable to move, a mix of surprise and relief flooding your chest.
He loves you. Sylus. The one you had longed for, yearned, and hoped for in silence. Your heart stuttered in your chest, the world around you growing impossibly still.
"IâŠ" you whispered, voice trembling, and you had to stop, had to steady yourself before the words could spill from your lips. "Iâve love you too," you said, your voice barely more than a breath, but it carried all the weight of everything you had kept inside. "Iâve loved you, and I never told you because I was afraid. Afraid that I was asking too much. Afraid of the rejection. Afraid that I wasnât enough."
Sylusâs expression softened, his lips curling into a frown as he stepped forward, closing the space between you. His hands reached for you, but not in the way you had feared or expected. They were gentle, his touch a plea for understanding. "Oh, darling," he whispered, shaking his head slowly. "Iâm so sorry. Iâm sorry you ever felt like you needed to hide it from me."
He reached up, brushing his thumb along your cheek, and you flinched slightly, your emotions suddenly overwhelming you, raw and untamed. "Weâre both idiots," he continued, his voice almost tender with the weight of the admission. "Weâve been skirting around each other, afraid of saying the one thing we both needed to say."
Your laugh came out soft, almost fragile, the tension in your chest breaking for the first time since Sylus had walked into your home. It was a quiet sound, but it was the first time youâd laughed all night, the first time youâd allowed yourself to feel something other than fear or uncertainty in the past few weeks with him involved. But that laugh didnât last long. As soon as it came, the tears followed, the ones you had been holding back for so long, finally slipping free. The dam you had built up crumbled, and before you could stop them, hot tears streamed down your face. before you could even reach up to brush them away, his hand was there, steady and warm against your cheek.
"Donât," you whispered, your voice thick with the ache you could no longer hide. "Please, donât look at me like this. Iâmâ"
"Stop," Sylus interrupted softly, his hand holding yours gently, his gaze unwavering. "Donât hide from me. I want to see all of you⊠everything youâve been hiding. I know you think I donât see it, but I do." His eyes locked onto yours with such intensity that you couldnât look away. "I see it when you think Iâm not watching. I see the way you pull back, the way you hide the parts of you that you think I canât handle. But I am looking. Iâve always been looking. And I donât want you to hide anymore. Not from me. And Iâm here and I want all of you."
His words were a medicine to the parts of you that had been bruised, the parts that had feared being exposed, vulnerable. But in his eyes, there was only love. No judgment. No pity. Just... love. And it was enough. It was more than enough.
The tears that had slipped down your face slowed, but they didnât stop. You didnât try to wipe them away this time, allowing yourself to be seen for the first time in ages. The sobs that followed were soft but trembled with relief, with something finally breaking open inside of you.
Sylusâs arms were around you in an instant, pulling you close, holding you in the kind of embrace that made you feel as though you could finally breathe, as though the weight of everything you had been carrying could finally be set down.
"Iâm sorry," you whispered, almost broken. "Iâve been so scared, Sylus. Scared of this, of being cast away... of losing you."
"Youâll never lose me, Darling." he murmured, his voice firm and unwavering as he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead.
You tilted your head back slightly, your face still damp with the remnants of the tears that had fallen, and through your wet lashes, you searched his face. Sylus held you close, his arms wrapped around you in a way that made you feel safe, even as the doubts lingered in your heart. You wanted to believe him, but the fear, the uncertainty, was still there, buried deep beneath the surface.
He must have seen it in your eyes, the way you still hesitated, the uncertainty you couldn't quite shake. Sylus made a half-frustrated sound in the back of his throat, his hands tightening around you for a split second, before they slid up to cradle your face. His thumb brushed against your cheek again, a tender, pleading touch, before he leaned in, his lips finding yours in a sudden, urgent kiss.
The kiss was unlike any other. It wasnât slow, it wasnât soft. It was intense, filled with desperation, as though he needed you to understand just how deeply he felt for you, just how much you meant to him. His hands cupped your face, holding you as if you were the only thing that mattered in that moment, as if the world had stopped turning just for you. His lips pressed against yours with a kind of fire, but it wasnât angry, no. It was passionate, desperate in its own way, like he wanted you to feel how important you were to him, how much you had been wanted, loved.
Your hands trembled as they reached up, gripping the collar of his shirt, pulling him closer, wanting to bridge the distance between you, as though the kiss itself could erase every lingering doubt in your heart. Your breath hitched when you felt his pulse quicken under your touch, his heartbeat matching the frantic pace of your own. Each breath you took seemed to echo in the stillness of the room, mingling with the heat of his kiss, our lips moving together with a quiet urgency, the world beyond the two of you fading into a distant blur. You felt everythingâevery brush of his fingers, every subtle shift of his body against yours, the way his chest rose and fell beneath your palms, how his breath felt against your lips as if he couldnât get close enough to you.
Your chests rose and fell together, the world spinning around you. You could feel the heat of him, the urgency that still lingered in his touch, the way he kept you close, almost as if he were afraid to let go.
Breathing became an afterthought, both of you gasping for air when the kiss broke, but neither of you pulled far enough away to lose the connection. Sylusâs forehead rested against yours, his breath hot against your lips as he whispered, voice still heavy with emotion. âEvery day, from henceforth, I will work to make sure you never feel the need to doubt yourself. Not in my life. Not with me." His words, slow and deliberate, sank deep into your heart like a promise he would keep.
The intensity of the moment hung between you both, the room still, save for the soft sound of your breathing as you both slowly came back to reality. But in his eyes, you saw nothing but certaintyâcertainty that you were enough. That you always had been.
His hand found yours again, fingers weaving with yours, and he gave it a gentle squeeze, as if the simple touch was a quiet reassurance.
"You are everything to me," he murmured, his voice steady now, grounding you as much as his embrace. "And Iâll make sure you never forget that.â
Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment, absorbing his words, his warmth, his certainty. In his arms, you could feel the truth of his promise, somewhere deep inside, the doubts began to fade.
For the first time in a long time, you believed him. And when he kissed you again, this time softer, it was like the beginning of something new.
AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!
- zayne x reader
he is your husband and you are his wife. but of course you know the bitter truthâyou will never be able to replace her.
genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive contentâminors do not interact!âangst, hurt/comfort, unrequited love, drunken sex, mentions of injury, blood, hunter!reader (not l&ds mc -> l&ds mc is zayne's late ex-girlfriend here), spoilers! from zayneâs bond story nostalgic sweetness
note: wc. 8k ! i've been having these bits and pieces scenarios for zayne in mind and then i thought what if i combined it all into one angst joyride? :)) tagging per request: @kissxcore @rjreins @i2s2m @tom-pls-fuck-me @yueyoonie @sanriosatoru
07.15 p.m
Zayne would be getting off work soon. He had just finished an emergency surgery, and it had been exhausting. Now it was quite late.
âDr. Zayne! Great job today!â Greyson exclaimed, suddenly strolling into his consultation room with a grin. âWant to grab dinner with us?â
Honestly, he was starving too. âWhere?â
âOh, you know, that new place that just opened nearby! They have the tastiest tiramisu, or so Iâve heard. Câmon, weâre inviting the nurses too!â
He knew he needed to head home soon, but fatigue and hunger blurred his thoughts at the mention of dessert.
âAlright.â
. . .
08.25 p.m
Getting together with the hospital staff was always nice. They were rowdy, but it was definitely a great way to unwind after a hard day.
The tiramisu was as great as Greyson said. Speaking of his assistant, he and Yvonne were having a blast. Other doctors were getting drunk. Zayne could only shake his head, and it suddenly dawned on him that he had been here quite a while.
It was only when he turned on his phone and saw the time that he realized, with sinking heart thatâ
He was supposed to meet you at six.
If you were asked how you felt about your life now, youâd be hard-pressed to say you were completely content.
You were a stellar fighter in the Hunter Association, more than content with your job, and you had a good husband. To some, you had what they would call the perfect life.
The wife of the Dr. Zayne. True, it was a flattering title, yet unbeknownst to everyone, also a humbling one.
And the notion struck you once again when your husband of almost two years stood you up on your dinner date without so much as a notice.
âMiss... weâre about to close now...â The waitress approached your table for at least the third time, and you nodded sheepishly, finally finishing your meal.
You paid for it and left the restaurant. The chilly night air hit your skin, giving you goosebumps as you walked home. It wasnât the first time this had happened. Granted, Zayne had a packed schedule, and you figured he might've had an urgent matter to attend to that he forgot to let you know.
Still... it hurts. Knowing you were not a priority in your husbandâs eyes wasnât a fun feeling.
Your phone buzzed in your pocket the moment you arrived at your shared home. Your husbandâs name flashed on your screen. The time now was 08.40 p.m.
âHello, Zayne?â
âY/N?â Your husbandâs voice sounded frantic. âAre you still at the restaurant? Iâm goingââ
âAh, no need to. Iâm going home.â
âIâll pick you up then. Stay thereââ
âIâve already arrived.â
An awkward silence settled between you, and you could clearly hear the noise on the other end. Greysonâs laughter was unmistakable.
You forced a laugh, still trying to sound cheerful for him even when realizing that he had completely forgotten about you. âItâs totally fine, Zayne! Are you heading back?â
âYeah...â
âTake care then. See you at home.â
You ended the call with a sigh, trying to shake off the sting in your heart. As you made your way upstairs to your bedroom, you passed by a large portrait on the wall, and a bittersweet sensation washed over you.
Your wedding photo. Both of you were smiling on what was the most wonderful day of your life. Zayneâs smile was reserved, but yours was radiant.
It is the most wonderful thing that has happened to you... but is it the same for him?
At that time, despite everything, you were convinced a lifetime of happiness awaited you, yet now... it got harder to fool yourself into believing it.
Your marriage has always been lukewarm.
Zayne wasnât an overly excited person, and you were his oppositeâbut try as you might, some things between you just didnât work out. As a result, both of you tended to keep certain things to yourselves.
Most days, this didn't bother him. He valued his privacy, so the way things were suited him just fine. However, several days later, when Greyson approached him with a worried expression and a news, even Zayne had to draw the line.
âDr. Zayne? Uh, how do I say this? I think I saw your wife being wheeled in earlier with the injured from the hunt zones raidâŠâ
. . .
âYour husband is a doctor here. Why arenât you calling him?â
Xavier, your fellow Deepspace Hunter who was partnered with you in this mission, questioned you with a hint of annoyance as he observed your pathetic state on the stretcher and crossed his arms. âWhy do you have to bleed out in ER when you can get him?â
You winced, pressing the bloodied cloth against your stinging abdomen as you felt yourself growing faint. âHeâs... a surgeon,â you panted. âHeâs busy.â
Above all, you didnât want Zayne to see you like this. You could already imagine his angry face, and that mental image alone made you recoil.
âWhat sort of husband is busy when his wife is injured?â Xavier raised an eyebrow. âDid you at least notify him?â
You shut your eyes, feeling a migraine coming.
âI will then.â
âNo.â
âY/N, youââ
âShut up, Xavierââ
The curtain was suddenly pulled back, and you braced yourself for whoever had come to check on you next. To your surprise, the cloth in your hand was snatched away, and you felt your uniform being torn open with urgency.
When you opened your eyes, you barely made out your husbandâs figure through your hazy vision. ââŠZayne?â
His expression was stern, unforgiving even, as he started to disinfect your wound. Despite the tension, you couldn't deny the relief that washed over you. You knew you were in good hands, even if you had to face his fury later on.
Your consciousness slipped away not long after that.
. . .
The next time you woke up, you found yourself in a private room, with a nagging itch where you had been injured.
You groaned, your limbs stiff and heavy, and the room slowly came into focusâalong with your husband's face.
"Zayne?" Your voice came out barely above a whisper. He stood pristine in his white coat and glasses, assessing you with a scrutinizing gaze.
"Your wound is, thankfully, shallow," he said flatly, his tone lacking any real concern. "You'll be discharged tonight. I'll take you home as soon as my shift is over."
"Ah..." You blinked several times to clear your head. "Good then. Sorry for showing up out of nowhere. Xavier and I were on a rescue mission, and I accidentallyâ"
He walked away before you could finish, the abruptness snapping you fully awake. He was furious, that much was clear.
"Ha ha..." You forced a laugh, fiddling with your fingers, trying to ease the awkward tension between you. "It doesn't hurt much, actually. You're rightâI'm fine..."
Zayne shot you a sharp glance. "You passed out due to blood loss."
"This isn't the first time it has happened and nor will it beâ"
"And it didn't even occur to you to inform me at all. I found out that my own wife was wounded because Greyson passed by the ER and saw you."
His words left you silent, caught red-handed, but your annoyance was reaching its limit. You had imagined how nice it would be if he panicked about you, showering you with care when he found out. But instead, Zayne chose to rebuke you the moment you woke up.
âIâm not a child,â you reasoned, keeping yourself calm. âIâm a hunter. This is nothing new, and you should understand that.â
âThe least you couldâve done is to tell meââ
âDo you know why I didnât? Itâs because I know how youâll react!â
ââand it would do you better to prioritize your safety and not rush headfirst into danger.â
âBelieve me, I do butâ!â
Suddenly, Zayne spun around to face you, his eyes blazing with fury as he raised his voice. âIâve told you so many times already, you have to stay back, or youâll end upâ!â
He stopped abruptly, leaving his sentence hanging in the air, but right at that moment, you knew all too well who he meant, and what the implication was.
His, without a doubt, greatest love. His childhood friend, a hunter like yourself, someone he had vowed to save but succumbed to her illness before he could do so, died on arrival.
The irony was sharp. You had become everything she once was. You knew her well, too. When she passed, the entire Hunter Association mourned her loss. And more than that, on the night she died, you had been with him.
Looking back, you should have seen it coming. Still, it hit you like a splash of cold water. Your husband was still preoccupied with thoughts of his ex-girlfriend, and worse yet, he saw pieces of her in you.
And you suspected he had for a whileâperhaps even, from the very beginning.
For a second there, not for the first time, you felt your heart shatter.
âI donât have Protocore syndrome,â you stated, steeling yourself against the heartbreak. âMy heart won't suddenly fail because I get injured. Iâm not that weak.â
You turned away as Zayne refused to respond, missing his look of disdain as he stormed out of the room.
That was when your first tear fell.
Right from the start, you knew you had to brace yourself for this. You knew that eventually, this tragedy would overshadow your marriage. Because while Zayne might be your husband by law, deep down, his heart still belonged to someone else.
To her.
You two are too much alike.
It wasnât the first time he had noticed it. And it wouldnât be the last.
On bad mornings, when his eyes were bleary and he hadn't had a good sleep, he would see her instead of you in your shared bed. And with that mistaken sight came a fleeting sense of relief... until his vision cleared and he remembered she was truly gone and it was you.
Zayne knew how wrong this was on so many levels. It was terribly unfair to you.
Still, his concern for you was genuine. Seeing you lying still on the stretcher brought back that very same nightmare, and really, he truly never wanted you to be hurt.
After his outburst and your clipped response, the two of you barely exchanged any words for the rest of the week. To make matters worse, he was sent on a business trip the following week, and all in all, you went two weeks hardly speaking to each other.
And before he knew it, her death anniversary was only a couple of days away.
. . .
"How much is this?"
"Ah, the bow is 50,000 Gold, sir!"
Inside the airport's souvenir shop, Zayne examined the intricate light blue and white bow clip. Made of tweed and adorned with small pearls, it looked nice.
He thought it'd suit you well.
"I'll get this then."
"Right away!"
As the clerk went to wrap the trinket, Zayne reflected on these past two weeks. A nagging feeling twisted in his gut as he thought about how curt he had been with you in text messages and how often you had left him on read.
Husband and wife shouldn't be this way. He wanted the unbearable air between you to end. Determined to resolve things, he planned to talk to you when he returned. He was on his way to the airport taxi whenâ
"Zayne!" He stopped in his tracks, recognizing the familiar voice, and turned around.
There you were, waiting by his car with a smile.
It was never in you to stay angry for long. It was a blessing and a curse, really, because while you no longer wished to give your husband silent treatment, a part of you still felt conflicted.
"How was your trip?" you asked as you started the engine, pushing the events of the past two weeks to the back of your mind.
Zayne didn't immediately answer, and you felt his gaze on you as you drove the car. "It was okay."
You hummed in acknowledgement, and he followed up with, "How is your wound? Do you dress it daily?"
"Mm-hm. It's getting better."
"I'll have a look at it later."
"Sure."
Silence. Usually you would ramble to distract him, but now, even you werenât sure if you should.
Then, he said, "You really didnât have to pick me up. I could have made my way home on my own."
To that, you pasted on a smile. âYou always pick me up whenever I have to go on business trips. Itâs only fair I do the same for you, husband.â
Ah. Was it the wrong move? The word had slipped out so easily that you didnât realize it until after you said it.
But to your surprise, Zayne let out a chuckle and played along. "Well, thank you then, wife. It certainly felt quite off without a certain someone the past week."
So, he actually likes having you around...? The thought made you almost giddy. Despite his usual taciturn and sarcastic demeanor, you knew he was genuine in his own way.
"Bet you missed me," you teased, grinning.
He raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Are you sure it's not the other way around?"
"Nope. But I did miss getting new snowmen."
"...why do you like them so much? I've made plenty for you already."
"No particular reason. Snowman just kinda reminds me of you somehow."
The tension between you had melted away, and you felt a sense of relief. Beside you, even Zayne couldnât hide his smile. For the rest of the drive home, you chatted like you used to.
When you arrived back at your shared home, he suddenly stopped and presented you with a little box. "I got you something."
"Huh?" you paused, bewildered, as he took your hand and placed the box in it.
"Open it."
With curiosity, you lifted the lid, and were surprised at the sight of a pretty bow clip inside. "Whoa, how cute..."
Zayne eyed you expectantly. "Do you like it?"
Your eyes lit up with delight, and a smile spread across your lips.
"Yes!" you beamed at him with zero hesitation, and in that moment, something struck a chord within him. Zayne had always thought you were easy on the eyesâ
âbut when you smiled like that, you were truly charming.
"It's healing nicely."
You felt somewhat self-conscious as your husband examined your bare abdomen, where your injury was, as you lied on your bed. His hands, cool and practiced, tenderly removed your stitches.
It wasn't as if Zayne had never touched you. You two had been married for almost two years, and of course you had been intimate several times, but it wasn't as if you were a passionate couple to begin withâso you often found yourself flustered.
"Mm." Despite yourself, you squirmed. Noticing this, he looked up at you, his unfazed eyes meeting yours with a frown.
"Does it still hurt?"
"No, not really... It just feels as if you're tickling me."
He was positively unamused. "I'm not trying to tickle you."
"I know!"
Zayne wrapped your midsection securely with the bandage. When he was done, he let out a sigh and you felt like you had to show him your gratitude somehow.
âThank you, ZayneâŠâ you mumbled, avoiding eye contact. But in the next second, your heart skipped a beat as his hand rested gently on your head.
"You can thank me by being more careful next time." Your husband looked at you with the smallest of smile. "Your safety comes first, always remember that."
Without either of you realizing it, you both had tried to bury that argument from two weeks ago, yet it was still gnawing at you all the same. The thought that he too was bothered with it made you warm.
"Noted," you cheekily grinned. "If I'm not safe and sound, a certain iceman will get angry at me."
Zayne shot you an unimpressed look. âIf you come to me injured again, Iâll start charging you fees.â
You let out a dramatic gasp. "How stingy! I'm your wife, not just some stranger!"
"A very uncooperative wife, you are."
You huffed, and he chuckled. You really thought all was well between you two now, until Zayne suddenly stood up and grabbed the car keys. âWell then, rest. I have to go.â
âWhere are you going?â
âIâm going to stop by the floristââ
And it hit you. In two days. The day everything ended three years ago.
Zayne seemed to realize it too, but you quickly masked your falling smile with a faux one. "O-oh, right..."
No matter how, it's still going to be an important day to him. You had nothing against it, really. Your husband's late girlfriend had once been your colleague too, and you mourned her just like everyone else did.
Still, even with that understanding, in your heart of hearts, it remains just as bitter.
You didn't want to, but you needed to find closure. You hoped that by doing this, it would finally put an end to all your insecurities.
"Let's go together, Zayne. I want to pay her a visit too."
Two days later, you and Zayne, a bouquet of flowers in hand, stood before the grave bearing many colorful flowers and postcards.
You supposed you knew already, but seeing it firsthand, you realized just how deeply she was loved still. The outpouring of respect from the Hunter Association was evident in the tribute left behind.
"It's been a while," Zayne, dressed in his most formal black suit, said solemnly, his gaze fixed on the name etched into the pristine stone.
You watched as he knelt to place his flowers and then brought his hands together in prayer. You followed his lead, placing your own bouquet beside his.
What should you even say to her? Your mind raced with countless thoughts, but none felt right to voice before the woman who had so deeply captured your husband's heart.
In the end, when you sensed that Zayne had finished with his prayer, you decided to remain silent and rose with him.
. . .
âDoes it get easier?â you asked out of curiosity afterwards. âThree years has passed already.â
Although Zayne wasnât one for drinking, even the need won today. He didnât meet your eyes as he sipped his wine, humming thoughtfully. âSomewhat. As they say, time heals.â
You two stopped by a fine restaurant after visiting the grave. The cemetery had been a two-hour drive from Linkon City, and now it was already evening.
âShe loved jasmines,â you remarked, recalling the pot of them you once saw on her desk and the flowers overflowing at the grave earlier.
âShe did.â The alcohol seemed to loosen his tongue as he continued, âShe loved old popsicles and macarons too.â
âAnd you like them as well.â
âTo be honest, I started liking them back when we were kidsâŠâ Zayne had this pained, faraway look in his eyes as he had another sip. âShe cried over her melted popsicle and it got me to wonder if it was really that tasty...â
The idea that you had to compete with a dead woman for your husbandâs affection left a bitter taste in your mouth. You felt like you had failed thoroughly as a wife.
Despite hating yourself for asking, you needed to know. âDo I help you⊠in any way at all?â
Zayne was clearly taken aback by the question. His sharp, gray eyes locked onto you, mind whirred as he tried to grasp your meaning.
âY/N, you...â
It was foolish, you knew. But you waited with bated breath for his response, even when one wrong word could shatter your heart beyond repair. You were ready for any sort of unfavorable answer, but thenâ
âI... am glad it is you.â
His words made you look up, and you found yourself caught in his gaze. Zayneâs ashen eyes were steady, piercing into you.
âYou were there on the hardest days. And ever since, youâve always stayed by my side.â He held your gaze firmly, voice was thick with emotion you couldnât quite name. âIâm grateful for that.â
And then, with a sincerity that pierced through every uncertainty, he added, âWhat I want to say is... Iâm glad I married you, Y/N.â
You have loved him for so long. Since the days when you know he isnât yours to love, until now.
Your heart swelled with so much warmth that tears brimmed in your eyes. His acknowledgment of your presence filled you with a profound sense of belonging you never knew you needed before.
Was it the alcohol?
You suspected it might be, because in nearly two years of marriage, Zayne had never lost his control like this. As soon as the bedroom door was shut, he pushed you against the wall and devoured your lips hungrily.
âMmph!â His hands gripped your arms while his lips and tongue pried yours open. The kiss was searing, almost forceful, with the faint bitterness of wine still lingering.
âZayâŠneâŠâ you gasped between his kissesâteary, breathless, your voice trembling.
But your breathy grunts only seemed to spur him on. His dark eyes, clouded with lust, fixed on you as his hands slipped beneath your blouse, deftly unclasping your bra with a flick.
He is hot. Your husband was everything a woman desired in a man. Cool, handsome, blessed with hands that could do wondersâ
In no time, he had you naked and wet before him, and with alarming speed, he too discarded his own suit and pants, throwing them away in flurry. And you could hardly believe what you were seeing next.
He spitted on his hand, ran it along his memberâstroking himself with a practiced ease, never breaking eye contact with you. The next thing you knew, he yanked you into another burning kiss and made you topple on top of himâ
âAh!â his hands guided your hips with precision, positioning you and entering you. The instant he did, you whimpered at the sudden, sharp sting of pain.
âDoes it hurt?â he asked almost in a growl when you clung to his shoulder with uneven breaths.
It was too sudden, and you hoped the discomfort would pass, so you timidly shook your head.
âIf you donât want this, tell me to stop.â Zayne tangled his fingers in your hair, turning your face to his. âUnderstand?â
There was always a distinct, almost commanding aura about him whenever the two of you were in your marital bed. Perhaps the way his voice sound lower, but it just hit different.
And you are a willing prey... whenever he becomes that beast.
He inched inside you slowly, making you moan with each instance. He was thick, warm, and taking him in was a challenge in itself. And when he finally sheathed himself fully, your nails had made its first scratch on his skin.
You felt full, and the way your womanhood stretched and clenched around him with each breathe you took made you dizzy. Panting, you finally met his gaze. Zayneâs gray-hazel eyes were still clouded with desire as he placed his hands firmly on your hips. Unable to resist, you reached out to caress his face.
"Hmm..." he subconsciously leaned into your touch, pressing his eyes shut together. "You smell nice," he huskily muttered.
Right this moment, all negative thoughts eluded you. It felt gratifying that your husband sought your touch like this as you towered over him.
And yet, despite that...
âDo you... finally see me now?â you asked, trailing your other hand down his toned chest and starting to grind against him. Zayne drew in a sharp breath and groaned, his fingers gripping your bum tighter.
Depending on his response, you would either find peace or face another heartbreak. You had placed your happiness on this pedestal more times than you could count, and it was a cross you had to bear.
But you never received your answer.
Your husband merely gazed up at you with a dangerous gleam. And oh, you could've sworn, this sight of Zayne eyeing you as if he were about to ruin you right then and there, would live-free in your mind for many days to come.
He then buried his face in your bosom, sucking on you with such fervor that your hands instinctively reached for his head to massage his scalp. The room was soon filled with your erotic groans and the squelching sounds from where your flesh were joined togetherâ as he thrusted inside you over and over.
Right in this moment, you felt truly desired and wanted.
You are so happy. Incomparably so.
At the crack of dawn, Zayne woke with a start.
The first thing he noticed was how spent he felt, his limbs stiff and a throbbing headache pulsing at the back of his head.
Then he turned to his side, and the sight that met him twisted his gut in such a way that snapped him fully awakeâ
You were beside him, barely dressed and still deeply asleep. Your hair was a mess, and love bites were scattered across your skin, some on your chest looking almost like bruises.
It dawned on him that he, too, wasnât decent. A sudden coldness gripped him, though it wasnât just the morning air.
Him and you... last night...
Yesterday marked the third year. He meant everything he said to you, but the fact that he did this, with you, on the day of her death...
There was... nothing wrong with what he had done. You were his wife, no one could condone him for what he instigated. Yet, it still made him shiver.
And to make it worse, his thoughts from last night echoed back with vengeance, andâ
He suddenly feels so immensely guilty.
. . .
It was the best sleep youâd had all week.
When you woke, sunlight had seeped through the window, and you discovered yourself already in pajamas, tucked snugly under a blanket. Still groggy with a dull ache in your lower belly, you relished the lingering afterglow, sighing in pure contentment, until you noticed Zayne wasnât beside you.
Where did he go? You wondered amidst your haze. Sluggish, you stumbled out of the bed, flinching when your foot met the cold floor.
You eventually found him downstairs, sipping coffee at the dining table still with messy hair. "Zayne?"
He glanced up at you and nodded. There was something different about him, a subtle shift you couldnât quite place. As you took a seat across from him, you hesitated, unsure of what to say.
Before you could find the right words though, he spoke first.
"I'm... sorry," he said, his tone laced with regret, causing a sharp pang of unease inside you.
"What?" you stared at him, feeling small and unsettled. "What are you sorry for?" you questioned as you gripped the hem of your shirt.
And then came the killing blowâ
"Last night," Zayne muttered, avoiding your gaze. "I wasnât in the right frame of mind. It was a mistake."
Mistake. The word echoed in your mind, but it was still hard to grasp its full weight.
"How was thatâ" you faltered, trembling, as the realization hit you like a truck and you gasped in disbelief. "Oh..."
Her. Again, and again, and again! Even when he was married to you, even when you were the one next to him each and everydayâ even so!
Your husband considers that a night spent with youâhis wifeâa mistake!
The last of your patience snapped, as you broke down in sobs before him. "You're the worst!" you screamed at him amidst your mournful tears.
Zayne seemed taken aback at your outburst, his eyes wide. "Y/N, wait, you don'tâ"
"Screw you!" But you were beyond explanations at this point. You fled back to your bedroom. Zayne followed you suit, but you slammed the door in his face and locked it. As you collapsed onto the floor, the realization hit you with full force.
No matter what you did, you would always come secondâor not at all.
The fracture in your marriage was undeniable.
Things had changed. Your home felt colder, and the tension was so stifling that you sometimes spent the night at the Hunter Associationâs dorm just to escape it.
Zayne initially tried to reach out, but you were unwilling to listen, and eventually, he gave up. Before long, nearly a month had passed with this strain in the air.
You threw yourself into more rescue operations, using work as a distraction from the turmoil that lingered in your mind. Despite your best efforts to distract yourself, the unresolved thoughts and feelings clung to you.
"Xavier, am I lacking as a woman?"
Your frequent partner these days cracked open an eye despite his attempt to nap before todayâs rescue mission. "What...?"
"No, forget it."
Things couldn't go like this forever. It was obvious by nowâas long as he couldnât let go of his past and you couldnât accept him as he was, this marriage couldn't be saved.
Just as you headed towards the printer in the room, Xavier responded. "You talk a lot, eat a lot, and always bothering me when I'm about to sleep..."
You shot him an irked glance, disbelief evident on your face. "Hey!"
"Butâ" his clear voice cut through the air as he turned to you with half-lidded eyes. "You're exceptionally kind. If anyone can't appreciate that, then it's their loss."
At that moment, the ice inside your chest melted. To know that your own co-worker thought that kindly of you gave you a little boost of confidence.
But then Xavier added, "Sometimes you're stupid too. It's funny to watch."
"â?! You're so mean!"
A subtle smile curved on his lips as he turned to his side, ready to resume his nap. "Anyway, what are you printing?"
You feigned a huff as you gathered the papers and brought them to your desk. "Just something I need to submit when necessary."
A part of you wasnât fully committed to it, of courseâit was just that your emotions had no proper outlet even until now. As you pushed the drawer shut, a wave of bitterness washed over you as you reread the title on the blank form:
Petition for Divorce.
Zayne genuinely wanted to treat you well.
You were a nice girl. Too nice even. From the moment he laid his eyes on you some years ago, as a friend of a friend, he knew you were nothing but kind and cheery.
He still remembered that morning vividly: the hurt on your face, the tears welling up in your eyes, and then you breaking into inconsolable sobs. That sight inflicted something in himâit felt as though his own heart had been split in two.
Believe it or not, he cherished you too.
That night, even though he didnât show it, he was still mourning her. When alcohol took over his mind and he saw you, you seemed like a perfect escape. He thought that even if he forced himself on you, there would be no consequences.
He hated that he had thought that way. He hated that how, in the end, you had become a means of relief for him.
Now you couldn't even look him in the eye, and Zayne didn't want to risk trying to coax you further. You were angry with him and rightly so, but when you ignored him and went home late more often, he was worried.
It was what drove him to volunteer for the rescue mission. When he saw your name on the hunter list, he felt compelled to make sure you were okay.
. . .
It was strange to see you on duty.
With your hunter uniform and your hair tied up, you were the picture of a very capable hunter. Zayne found himself unexpectedly following your movements as you came and went.
"Dr. Zayne, are you checking your wife out?" the EMT next to him teased with a grin. "Well, when you have a pretty wife such as Y/N, of course..."
He cleared his throat and the EMT giggled as he sauntered away.
So, you were also considered attractive here. Of course you were. Zayne knew it, but he just didn't expect that anyone here would blurt it out so openly.
But that wasn't the most surprising of allâ
"Xavier, shush!" you playfully punched the blonde man next to you in the chest, your broad smile lighting up the moment. The two of you whispered closely, and Zayne found himself feeling uncomfortable, like being prickled by several needles.
He has never made you laugh so openly like that. The nagging feeling inside him grew stronger as he watched youâeven if it was just in a platonic senseâwith another man. It stirred something within him, making him want to pull that blonde aside, give him a word or two, and overthrow him altogether.
Amidst the growing storm inside him, you suddenly turned sideways and caught his eye, and Zayne could've sworn... he felt time stopped at that moment.
It was so candid that it took his breath away. The way your earnest, unclouded eyes met his. How natural you were while loading your gun...
Ah, they were right. His wife was exceptionally pretty.
But before he could fully appreciate it, you broke the eye contact and turned away, pretending as if you hadnât seen him at all.
Zayne wondered then, why did he feel so hurt all of a sudden?
Battlefields were always a place of chaos, and Zayne was no stranger to it.
He was on standby at the makeshift hospital as patients surged in, continuously aiding first-aid. Some were hunters on duty, and his heart was in his throat the entire time, anxiously hoping you wouldnât be among them.
"Doc... it still hurts," a little girl sniffled right after Zayne wrapped her injured arm with the gauze. Despite the anxiety, seeing this tearful girl softened his frown.
"It's just going to take a while, hmm?" he patted the kid in the head. "It's going to be better soon enough."
"My mom is still inside..." she said, her eyes welling up with tears. "Doc, will they get her out?"
Zayne hesitated, his thoughts briefly drifting to you. He managed a reassuring smile. "Donât worry, theyâllâ"
Crash! âall of a sudden, a loud explosion shook the hospital, the sound echoing through the chaos. The little girl clung to his coat in fear.
"Call for retreat!" someone suddenly shouted from outside. "Alert all personnel immediately!"
Retreat. The thought that you might be safe soon brought him a sense of relief. He turned to the girl, trying to keep his composure.
"Look, the hunters are retreating, it means most are already evacuated." Zayne managed a reassuring smile. "Stay here. I'll help you find her later, okay?"
He went to the survivors' camp outside, attending to the wounded and keeping a vigilant eye on each returning hunter. Even until 30 minutes later, he still hadn't seen you. Thinking to contact you, he reached out for his phone.
"Who hasn't gotten out?" Jenna, your team leader, demanded the receiver with a stern voice, standing tall several feet away from the camp, and Zayne overheard the snippets of her conversation.
A frantic voice responded, "Xavier is still inside! Y/N too!"
"Those two! They are alwaysâ!"
What?
Zayne almost dropped his phone when he heard your name. Terror gripped him instantly, and then suddenly, again, it was his greatest nightmare realized.
You are still inside. You could be hurt. It was possible you had no means to get out of there.
He didnât register letting go of his coat or crossing the police lineâall that mattered was getting to you. He sprinted away, ignoring the shouts of those trying to stop him.
No. Not again!
Debris flew everywhere, and the roars of Wanderers grew louder as he neared the building wreckage. As a splinter was about to hit him, ice shot through his palms, creating a barrier that shattered it.
"Y/N!" he shouted your name, his voice cracking with panic. "Where are you?!"
All he could think about was the memory of you bleeding out in the ER. Zayne never wanted to see that again. Should anything happen to you now...
He didn't want you to be hurt. He hated seeing you cry. For the past weeks, it had torn him apart to see you so unhappy. He wanted to be the one who made you smile, the one you looked at with love.
The realization washed over him like a tidal wave. Yet it wasnât an epiphany but a simple truth he had always known but never fully grasped until now.
If he lost you now, it'd destroy him.
He continued screaming your name over and over. And then, after turning several turns, he finally saw you, standing alone in the middle of the wreckageâ
You turned to him in surprise when you heard your name in his shout, and were rooted to the spot, in disbelief that your husband was right before you.
Zayne felt a wave of relief wash over him, until a hollow croak from above caught his attention. He squintedâ
A glass panel had crumbled and was falling directly towards you.
A sense of dread so great overwhelmed him, a lump formed in his throat, and the smoke made it hard to breathe. He sprinted forward, and with everything he had, he pushed you out the way.
The next thing he knew, everything went pitch black.
"Zayne? Zayne!"
A memory flashed in his mind's eye. The one memory he wished he didn't have to relive ever again.
Sitting on the deserted hospital bench, his eyes were vacant. Utter hollowness choked him, leaving him motionless. It was over. There was no blood on his hands, yet it felt as if there were.
Your grip on his shoulder was tight, shaking him. "Zayne, snap out of it!" and only then he brought himself to meet your eyes.
"She died." That was the only thing he could mutter, pain woven in each word. "She really died."
Your eyes widened in horror, an inaudible gasp left your lips. "Oh..."
He didn't really know what happened next, but he remembered the warmth from when you pulled him to your arms, when sobs wracked his body as he thought the world was ending.
Since then, you have always been there.
And subconsciously, he may have regarded you as his lifeline.
. . .
Another memory.
"Are you awake...?"
His mind was hazy, but he recognized your voice. He blearily opened his eyes to find you placing a cool compress on his forehead.
"Who would have thought the great Dr. Zayne can get a fever?" you said with a soft laugh, patting his hair. "Donât worry about me. Go back to sleep."
You came to see him. He remembered telling you not to. But you still did, and the fact thawed the ice in his heart.
Just as you were about to leave, his hand reached out and pulled you closer. "Donât go."
"Are you trying to make me catch your cold too?" you teased with a soft laugh.
"Hmph. Who told you to come here...?"
"Ah, so you're whiny when you're not feeling well," you observed with a smile. "Okay, I'll stay! But only if you agree to nurse me if I catch your cold!"
You were noisy, but endearingly so.
. . .
"Don't pay her any mind," you fidgeted on your seat, a frown on your face. "My mom always does that."
There was never any talk about the nature your relationship between the two of you, but it was clear to everyone nevertheless. You were always around him, and he seemed to enjoy your company just as much.
And not for the first time, your mother pushed him towards marriage with you.
"People are always getting the wrong idea," you grumbled. "Sorry, Zayne..." you lowered your head, seemingly in regret.
He was puzzled, because to him, it wasn't necessarily false. All things you did together lead to this.
"What if it isn't a wrong idea at all?"
You looked at him with slight surprise. "Huh...?"
Your presence was a gift. That tragedy was devastating, but having you constantly by his side made it bearable. He was fond of you, and the thought that if it's you, then surely...
In this memory, he was more sure than ever. What he said then, it came from the truest place in his heart.
"What if I told you... as of right now, I can't imagine being with anyone but you?"
The side of his head was throbbing with pain. Everything hurt, the hard asphalt was bruising his face as the headache set in. He could smell the scent of blood and sweat, but more than thatâ
"Zayne! Ah, hahâ Please, please! No!"
Your voice, choked with tears, blared in his ears as you desperately shook him. You sounded so heartbroken, so utterly panicked, and your voice gradually pulled him back to consciousness.
Opening his eyes took tremendous effort. At first, everything was a blur, but then it came into focusâthe sight of you disheveled, smeared with soot, with tears streaming down your face. But still youâ the woman he had married two years ago.
Yet his heart lurched. You're crying again... why is it that whenever with me, you're always crying?
"Are you... alright?" he rasped, lifting his hand to touch your face.
"Why did youâ" You were startled by his question, your gaze fixed on the blood pooling on the side of his face. "Your head is bleeding!"
Ah, so you're fine. The sheer knowledge brought him relief, a faint smile forming at his lips. "I'm glad..."
"I'll help you get back! Hold onto meâ" you said after brushing away your tears, lifting him up and draping his arm around your shoulder. "Can you walk?"
"I'm... fine..."
"You're not!" you refuted harshly, voice trembling. "You have to go back!"
You made him lean on you as you made your way back to the makeshift hospital, each step accompanied by your sniffles as you supported his waist.
Zayne glanced at you, feeling a warmth in his chest despite the migraine. "D-Don't cry... I'll be fine."
"You're an idiot!" you choked out, struggling to hold back your tears. "Why did you even come out here?"
"I... have to find you. They said you haven't returned."
"There are still civilians inside! I'll return eventually!"
"I canât wait for that. I... have to know you're safe."
His response only fueled your frustration. "You don't have toâ!"
"You are my wifeâ" he snapped, turning to you sharply, his eyes flashing with anger. "How can I not worryâ for you?"
The forceful tone in his voice went straight to the most tender part of your heart. It really struck you at that moment that he had come out here for you, that his concern for you was that profound.
And that after all these weeks, he still keeps you in his thoughts.
He had pushed you out of the way, even at the cost of himself, barely missing the fallen billboard in that violent crash. If he was in the wrong position, he could've lost his life.
You stared at him, tears glossing your eyes.
"That's enough... Don't cry again." Zayne reached out to wipe your cheeks. His hands, however, were smeared with his own blood, leaving streaks on your face. "Ah... I got blood on you..."
But in that moment, you couldnât care less. There was this indescribable sting of grief, but also paired with a sense of relief so great in your chest the very second you realize that now, he sees you.
You threw yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly as you sobbed, calling out to him in broken voice. âZ-Zayne...!â
âWhy are you crying again...?â he let out a resigned sigh, but still embraced you regardless. âWhat a crybaby...â
You buried your face deeper into him, shaking uncontrollably. âYou... saved me...â you managed to say amidst torrent of tears. âY-You... got hurt...â
âIâll be fine,â he retorted in your ear albeit in a hoarse voice, holding you close, even as blood trickled down the side of his face. âAnd Iâd do it again. I refuse to see you hurt.â
You cried harder, and he pulled you tighter, his chest aching at the sight of you so inconsolable. And in that moment, he made the decision right then and there.
He will protect you so long as time will allow him to.
It was as if the invisible wall between you had crumbled to dust after that incident. You stayed by Zayne's side night and day, monitoring his condition.
And one night, several days later...
"Here, don't move..."
You carefully dressed the wound on Zayne's temple, sitting close beside him. He quietly observed your worried eyes and trembling fingers without a word.
"You even need stitches..." you lamented, biting your lip as you wrapped the bandage around his head. Tears pricked your eyes, overwhelmed by the concern you were pouring into the task.
"I'm telling you, I'm fine," he gruffly insisted in an attempt to erase your mournful expression. He felt the delicate, almost hesitant touch of your fingers on his face. "It'll heal with time."
Even as he said that, a part of you was still troubled at the sight of the wound on his head and cheekbone. No matter what he said, you couldnât shake the feeling that it was somehow your fault.
"I'm done. Now go rest," you said softly, your voice tinged with bitterness after tying the gauze. You rose to put the kit away, but even after you finished, Zayne remained upright on the bed, so you leveled a frown at him.
"What, why aren't youâ Ah!"
Before you knew it, he pulled you by the arm, and you tumbled into his chest in surprise. "What are you doing?!" you yelled at him, clinging to his shoulder and looking up at him with ire. "You could've hit your head!"
He looked down at you with a flat expression, or is that a hint of amusement glinting in his eyes? âCan't a husband cuddle his wife?â
You blinked dumbly, caught off-guard. âYes, you can, but...â
His arms then enveloped you, fitting you on his chest and he sighed against your hair. âThen thereâs nothing wrong with it. Letâs just stay like this for now.â
And so, that was how he decided to sleep throughout the nightâwith you on top of him, held close. You felt self-conscious as Zayne had never initiated this closeness with you since that night.
"Are you sure you want to sleep this way?" you wriggled a bit in his grasp.
He draped an arm around your waist, pressing his eyes shut. "Mm-hm."
"You..." A part of you recoiled at the vulnerability but decided to ask anyway. "Won't this be⊠a mistake...?"
That caught his attention, as Zayne's eyes fluttered open. He looked down at you, who avoided his gaze with a pout and a torn expression, making yourself small in his embrace.
It dawned on him then that this persisting issue in your marriage was thoroughly his fault. His past was something he could neverâand would neverâtrade for anything, but right now, you were that sense of peace that grounded him.
At one point, he has to let it go. These feelings inside him⊠they drive him to.
He softened, his gaze full of understanding as he gently brushed your hair back. "No," he said quietly, his voice tender. "Weâve come too far for it to be one."
Your clear, innocent eyes reluctantly met his, and at that moment something akin to clarity resonated within him.
He once thought nothing could ever mend the hollowness in his heart. And once, he indeed hoped that being with you would provide some form of relief or replace what he had lost.
But right now, feeling how vulnerable you were in his arms like this, he understood that you were not, and could never be, a replacement for anything else. Even before he realized it himself, what he felt for you was something entirely differentâ something dear that had grown and evolved into a genuine affection different from what he had felt for anyone else before.
Those times spent with you, wanting to protect you... Now that he reflected on it, it was never about filling a void, after all.
âI... want to treasure you better.â
Oh. Your heart thumped loudly as those words left his lips, warmth spreading through your entire being. Overwhelmed by the sincerity in his voice, you clung to his chest, feeling a surge of love and a profound sense of being freed from the chains of insecurity that had taken you hostage all these years.
Most precious. Zayne smiled at you, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.
âThis time for sure... I will.â
And at last... he could say it without any lingering guilt.
diagnosed with obsessive loving of asl brothers
warnings: me being pretentious, mild references to suicide (via drowning)
âTell meâif I told you that I loved you, what would you say?â
When he speaks, itâs slowly, hesitantly. Itâs as though heâs carefully thinking through everything before it leaves his lips. You chew on the inside of your cheek as you think his words over. What brought this on, you wonder.
Kaoru braces his forearms against the rail of the balcony, leaning forwards as though he might tip over the edge and let himself fall. Right into the crashing waves below, a suffocating hug. You blink and there he is, his body torn to pieces by the cutting rocks, his blood webbing across the surface of the ocean. You blink and there he is, the salty sea breeze tousling his hair and brushing against his cheeks in a loving caress.
You find yourself jealous.
To be able to touch him so tenderly⊠You can, if you want to. You just have to reach out. There is nothing stopping you except your fear of interpreting everythingâhis smiles, his touches, his wordsâwrong.
Youâve never thought yourself a coward before, but Kaoru is something precious to you and to lose him wouldâŠwell, maybe not destroy you. Youâre not so naĂŻve that you think a broken heart is the same thing as the end of the world.
Still, it would hurt all the same.
He watches you with furrowed brows as you force your wandering thoughts back into some semblance of order, probably trying to glean what information he can from the emotions that show on your face. Youâve always been an open book, or so he says. Things change, yes, but there are some universal constants and he is one of them. Heâs always been like this, you reminisce fondly in the safety of your own mind. Prone to thinking, thinking, thinkingâsometimes a little too much; donât chase all those rabbits, Kaoru. Youâll get lost in the wonderland of your own head.
You giggle then, eyes bright; is this a confession?
Maybe, he replies, face blank, not betraying anything. Maybe.
Oh. You mouth the words, surprised despite yourself.
Then he smiles, a little dreamily. He looks wistful when he stares at you, like you canât possibly be real. Thereâs a little bit of that in his eyes right now. It settles amongst the glints of gold in his sweet-grey eyes: here is a boy destined to be lonely, or so he thinks.
Here is a boy you love, lonely no more.
Your fingers twitch at your sides. In your chest, your heart gives a squeeze, aching with want. To reach out, to draw him close. Not yet, though. Not yet.
âWell,â You begin, testing the words on your tongue. âYouâll have to be a little clearer. Because if this is a hypothetical situation, as you say it is⊠If youâd confessed to me, hypothetically,â The emphasis you place on the word makes it clear you donât believe that is truly the case. âI wouldâve say yes.â
Now itâs his turn to startle, eyes suspiciously bright. He smiles once more, just as wistful, then turns his head to face the ocean once more. A single tear trickles down his cheek, and you step forwards to brush it away. âCrybaby,â You tease, fond as ever. Kaoru laughs wetly.
âCut me some slack. The person I love told me they love me back. Iâm allowed to get a little emotional.â
âMm,â You hum, tracing the lines of his face with your thumbs. He leans into your hold, like a cat would. His eyeslids flutter shut, he watches you through his feathering lashes. The two of you stand there, silently, as the sun goes down.
No longer lonely, no longer breathless.
© tokusaatsus 2023
wc. 615 words
reze txt. when i tell you he is always on my mind, i mean it. sorry for being pretentious about how much i love him ⥠partly inspired by the beach by the nbhd
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bepo is coming for that fucking cat
letâs make it happen đđ
OOH! What a question to ask, Emmanuel!
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hietus is done, thank you for your patience~ the holidays have been Busy Busy Busy!!!
Sorry i couldnt fit all the mothers in the family tree portion, i truly ran out of room lol
I started drawing this comic slightly different, i wanna see if anyone can figure out what i changed before i reveal it in next week's chapter. if you win you get a free commission, just as long as that commission is of a photo-realistic illustration of the WĂŒsthof 17-slot Walnut Wood knife block that is indistinguishable from just a straight up picture of it.