BBQ

He welcomed me to chilis when no one else did

when you’re trying to end the fight and they make a stupid comment

If you want cute names for your partner just use ones on candles they’re so beautiful like pumpkin spice or Passion flower or midnight rose or vanilla bean

but it only works if 4 people are having sex lol

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

today is nsfw night

buttcheeks