She Straight Up Asked Him If He’s The Baby

mcqueen

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

If you want cute names for your partner just use ones on candles they’re so beautiful like pumpkin spice or Passion flower or midnight rose or vanilla bean

*reading your tags* Yo I heard you like reptiles. Any fun facts? :D

 if a crocodile eats your dad they become your new dad

me during reasonable hours of the day: i never want to do anything in my life Ever

me at 3 am: I Have To Learn How To Play The Piano Immediately