Self-portrait Against Red Wallpaper, Richard Siken

i think my body is falling in pieces i think my blood is passing me by

Micah Nemerever These Violent Delights / I.B. Vyache Excerpt 07.01.21 / Silas Denver Melvin excerpt from Grit: A Poetry Collection / Christa Wolf excerpt from Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays / Ethel Cain Family Tree (Intro) / unknown / Fiona Apple Left Alone / Richard Siken The Worm King's Lullaby / Gwen Benaway Holy Wild

i. Micah Nemerever, These Violent Nights

[ "I don't think you've ever felt anything that didn't hurt you. / We've found each other, out of everyone else in the world. Does that hurt, too?" ]

ii. I.B. Vyache, Excerpt 07.01.21

[ "It's time to forgive my hands for being hands. I'm going to hate myself a little less tomorrow. I'm going to hate myself a little less tomorrow." ]

iii. unknown

[ "have you shot a gun? is your blood authentic? is your blood authentic? is your blood authentic? can you prove it to me?" ]

iv. Christa Wolf, Cassandra: A Novel and Four Essays

[ "You looked at me / (did you still see me?)" ]

v. Ethel Cain, Family Tree (Intro)

[ "The fate's already fucked me sideways / Swinging by my neck from the family tree / He'll laugh and say, 'You know I raised you better than this' / Then leave me hanging so they all can laugh at me" ]

vi. unknown

[ "I fight. I resist. It doesn't even matter what I resist; there is simply something in me that tends to resist things as they are. I have been fighting since I was very small." ]

vii. Fiona Apple, Left Alone

[ "[Chorus] / How can I ask anyone to love me / When all I do is beg to be left alone?" ]

viii. Richard Siken, The Worm King's Lullaby

[ "Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is no other version of this story." ]

ix. Gwen Benaway, Holy Wild

[ "I am tired of explaining the fire, / it burns because it must." ]

Matthew Dickman, from “Montpelier” [ID in ALT]

Lee Hyemi, tr. by Soje, from Unexpected Vanilla; “Inside the tower”

[Text ID: “Why am I / inside this absence”]

Mabel: Matryoshka [ep.28] - Becca De La Rosa and Mabel Martin

conqueror, aurora

the embrace of soil and soul

the way you say soil sounds like soul // the way you say soil you make a poem out of every speck of dirt

[Galatée, Charles François Jalabert // soil, Irène P. Mathieu // Take Me to Church, Hozier // Quote, Jonathan Swift // The Triassic Cuddle, alissaurus_rex // Poem, Tanner Olson // Painting (detail), Josef Neugebauer // Work Song, Hozier // Wolfstar Microfic, tumblr user @mkaugust // Dreaming of Pomegranates, Felice Casorati]

Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”, Leaves of Grass

[Text ID: “I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,”]

Ocean Vuong ||| Nickie Zimov

selected diaries, virginia woolf / abandonment (the pair), henri de toulouse-lautrec / pillow thoughts, courtney peppernell / in bed, henri de toulouse-lautrec / work song, hozier / the two friends, henri de toulouse-lautrec / portrait of a lady on fire (2019), dir. céline sciamma

“Do you love him? I don’t know. I believe he is my fate.”

— Anne Carson, excerpt of “TV Men: Akhmatova (Treatment for a Script); AKHMATOVA’S MARRIAGE (1910) HAS LITTLE EFFECT ON HER”, in Men in the Off Hours