I wanna point out a thing that feels still so "off" to me about alt!Powder.
Homegirl is so quick to jump in and anxiously make everything seem okay.
(season 1) Jinx was obsessed with not appearing weak (as a means of obtaining love)
and alt!Powder seems to have a toxic trait of smoothing over other people's problems. That sort of, "everything's fine! we're fine! he's fine!" attitude that happens when someone is so afraid of the boat rocking that they ignore all conflict and with it all opportunities to grow and connect more deeply with those around them.
Her reaction to smooth it all over when alt!Benzo was confused by Ekko's reaction was so anxious. And she did this despite her own fear at the change in Ekko. When she goes "...did you just throw that?" she is so shocked she can't even understand what just happened. And yet, alt!Benzo walks in and expresses the same confusion she felt/is feeling but rather than confront Ekko and sharing her confusion with alt!Benzo, she jumps in to smooth things over. What are you talking about? Everything's fine! He's just having a little inventor moment, nothing to see here!
This is a girl who is used to "cleaning up everyone else's messes," probably for the same reason that Jinx was obsessed with not seeming weak: as a way to earn love.
(probably because her biggest mess ended up killing her sister, so for the rest of forever she will deal with that guilt by putting everyone else's emotional comfort above her own)
Alt!Powder may be more mentally stable than Jinx (by a longshot) but she is not emotionally healthy/secure in an objective sense. What probably works even worse against this toxic trait is that everyone around her is okay with her smoothing things over--she's praised for helping out Ekko and rescuing alt!Mylo. Everyone but alt!Vander is down with alt!Powder's coping mechanism for dealing with discomfort.
poor cutie.
I always feel so guilty after I ruminate on an intrusive thought. I know the thought itself is intrusive but I feel like a bad person for even thiking about it and trying to disprove it. I feel like I can’t trust what I tell myself.
fuck obsessions. fuck compulsions. fuck intrusive thoughts. fuck uncertainty. fuck constant shame. fuck constant guilt. fuck constant anticipation. fuck the sense of impending doom. fuck ruminating. fuck reassurance seeking. fuck checking. fuck the exhaustion. fuck mental torment. fuck being stuck on everything. fuck not being able to let things go. fuck stigma. fuck fear. fuck isolation. fuck desperation. fuck misery. fuck feeling like the most vile creature on this planet. fuck not being able to control your mind. fuck the temptation of humoring the obsession. fuck "what ifs". fuck the belittling. fuck the countless days and nights spent trying to figure something out for sure. fuck mental reviewing. fuck mental anguish. fuck not being able to ever fully let your guard down.
Piazza Santa Croce
Can you make a post romanticising biology, chemistry and physics please?
staying up late finishing all your assignments and deadlines
living on caffeine and never more than 6 hours of sleep
desk cluttered with mugs, once filled with coffee and tea
an accurate hand, drawing and calculating all your thoughts and theories onto paper
running into class barely on time, hair in a state, outfit just-about put together
bag overflowing with papers and calculations
textbooks scattered with tabs and annotations
mail box filled, every notification receives your signature eye roll
your work is too important
living for your achievements, trying to find a way to the undiscovered lands
bookshelves lined with books detailing all your interests
reading Frankenstein every year
listening to chaotic classical music while you work, finding comfort in the changing notes
constantly thinking things through
ranting to your walls about your discoveries or theories
finding art in the exact, and finding the exact in art
Thank you for the ask! <3
"Kill them with kindness-" WRONG!!! SPINJITZU 🌪🌪🌪🌪🌪💥💥💥💥
Intrusive thoughts be like:
hi everyone!! this is squirt. he is three years old and he's a very beloved emotional support animal. since he came into our lives, he has been a huge help with my fiancee's depression and PTSD. he's the sweetest cat i've ever met.
he is also very sick. over this past weekend, we noticed that his breathing was very labored and that he was lethargic; he wasn't eating or playing with our other cat. when the breathing difficulty persisted, we decided to take him to the vet.
after getting him x-rayed, we were told that squirt has a "diffuse mixed pulmonary pattern...characterized by multiple coalescing rounded soft-tissue opaque nodules with a concurrent bronchial and unstructured interstitial pattern". basically, there's something in his lungs that's making it hard for him to breathe.
the vet believes he has either fungal pneumonia, toxoplasmosa, mycoplasma, or immune mediated pulmonary disease. they would like to hospitalize him and run the proper tests to get him diagnosed (and eventually treated). unfortunately, we cannot afford the cost of the tests. we were able to get him some medication that is going to keep him comfortable, but these meds will not make him better.
here is the current cost estimate for his care we were given by our vet (5/17/2021):
we were told by the vet that he has a chance at a long life if we can pull the money together to get him treated. he has brought so much comfort into my fiancee's life and made them so happy. if we cannot pay to take care of his medical needs, we will need to put him down.
we have started a gofundme to cover the cost of his diagnostic tests and initial treatments. our current fundraising goal is $5,500. these funds are going towards Squirt's diagnosis--we are likely going to have to update this page with an increased amount depending on what the diagnosis actually is. (for instance, if it's fungal pneumonia, we've been told that therapy to treat it can be expensive as well.) additional information we were given from our vet is posted on the gofundme page. additionally, my fiancee is available to take digital art commissions if you would prefer to help us that way. here is their art blog. money made from commissions will also go to squirt's medication and care. commission info can be found on this carrd. please help us save our cat. he's a very good boy. if he has a chance at living, we would like to save him and give him a long, happy life.
i'm like if jesse pinkman wrote emo poetry and reblogged random shit // any prns ★
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