Richard Siken, Boot Theory // Frank Bidart, The War Of Vaslav Nijinsky // Astralcorbozo On TikTok //

People support neurodivergents as long as they're "uwu baby"

People say they support nds one hand but

Call hypersexual people gross and "needing to touch grass"

Hate and bully people with narcissistic personality disorders

Make fun of people with OCD who have irrational compulsions

Would not support a BPD person during their maniac episodes

Call maladaptive daydreamers "weird" and "a soft main character type beat"

and so much more

TW!!!!!

OCD! AUTISM! DEPRESSION! ANXIETY! TRAUMA! SA!!!!! all in very specific feeling terms which are important to differentiate between triggers like numbers and calories this is a very specifically ocd rant poem!!!!!!!! morality ocd is big and scary!

today i drape over the school bathroom toilet

i am scared that my poetry no longer feels

like i am simply expelling the sickest

most

tangential /

still most poems

fear is in the way

i'll get there

literal /

(how to breathe| how to think |

happy code |code to feel better

||bad behavior|

| good behavior. |

how to be sick cat |..|

how to be | ... |

| healthy cat? |

how to speak in the tone

of someone who is fine |

|.... .... ..||||..|.|~|

how to become fine.

spiritual /

(why me why me why me)

what is real?

acidic ( self explanatory ) /

shame.

I am wrong

i am wrong i am broken

nothing nothing nothing at all

emptiness is better than death

i search for it .

in me.

i cannot find it anymore

in that porcelain

cup of shadows

i can only find

her

🥧. 🐈‍⬛🐛🪳🕷️🕷️🕷️🪲🕺🏻

not her, or her, or her or her

(though,

yes,

her

her

her

her

her

him.

him.

him. but not.)

...

its me .

i

am

finding

..

.... ..

!!

⭐️CAT!!!🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛✨✨🥧

WHY

am i

still

so fucking

wrong

my secretion isn't on the sides of the bowl because pieces are in her. she still keeps it.

i hope she does. i do.

and him. he will never rid himself of the guilt. i hope he learns to ..

to just ..

to .

..... ... ...........

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Fuck you for what you did to me.

fuck you for being fine.

fuck you for being proud

of a goddamn lesbian

sucking your cock and fuck you

for talking about it

fuck you for breaking me to the point where i had to become something else

fuck you for reminding me that what i feel is not normal

fuck you

...... ...

............ .. .... ....

for being the filthy hierophant

i see in every man

who has touched me

why is it you that stays? who gave you such a power?

but

isn't that the point? that i can be

broken?

from him?

i was her

until the day i wasn't —

when i was her

and then

her

and her.... ( there are no

colors in this time

except the ones that return

to me.

when i am..... )

🪄🪄🧠🤓🐈‍⬛🏛️🎨🎭🖼️🏴‍☠️👩🏻‍🎤🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️🕸️❤️✨⭐️🌠🌃🌌🔭🔭🔭🔭🔭

me !!!!!!!!!!!

💕💖💗💞💓💐🌸🌺💓💘💝💝💐💘🌸💐🎀🌷💝🎀🌷🌷🐷💝🧞‍♀️🎀🎀🦩🩰👚🎟️

from the deep pit

of my stomach

there is me.

why do the painful things make her louder?

why

the

fuck.

has it been nine goddamn years of this?

nine?

3 6 9 three six nine i know what the numbers are

i know why they are there

grandma

(mother of grandma) teaches me of

grandma

(mother of grandma)

i can hear you

i can

i am sorry for abandoning you

to live in a shell of

a soul

when i couldnt see it you

knight of wands told me how to

keep going

you tell me that it is okay to live for more than my body

even if the thoughts never leave?

even if the thoughts never leave.

even if i

stay the same? you will still be lovable

it hurts to turn back into

a newly traumatized

confused cat self

she is yellow she is happy go lucky

she has a light she yearns

will not go out

when she gets

"better"

my thoughts about her don't feel that way

you

learned to live in an angry mind

in the same spot theres something else

block has vanished

all too fast

is this what hope feels like?

i am wise )

i am learning learning learning

when the fog is there and when it isn't

because i want to

i will learn

how to love

how to feel

how to understand and listen and observe the way i always have

you are right

it is better to speak than it is to die

( you speak to me through wisdom of the greats

never will i let go of

my intellect!

TRUE

intellect)

it is better to exist than it is not to cry

( you shout this

from the kind of pedestal

i have grown so weary of in others /

in myself)

there is intelligence in creating

is the birth of passion from knowledge?

connection ?

am i doing this

that terribly wrong?

but isnt the love

something?

Où étais-je ?

random sites that are extremely helpful

animation screencaps

body visualizer

create infographics

desktop goose

help with writers block

boil the frog

professions based on your personality

best dictionary ever

fighters block

writing tool

slides go

slides carnival

online library

free movies and tv shows

free movies and tv shows #2

worldbuilding website

make music online

human pose reference

email signature

cool design templates

animation tool

ok rupaul. thank you rupaul

A new friend!!

people who work/study in quantitative bio-adjacent fields, rise up. computational neuroscience where you get to see someone's thoughts in feelings in graph form??? so cool. biophysics where you can pass blood plasma through an electric field to determine whether a patient has cancer or not?? unbelievable. biomedical engineering where you can literally build a device to pump someone's heart and be the difference between their life and death??? oh my god. disease modelling, being able to predict AND prevent communities being affected by disease on a large scale through your analysis of data??? i love science

Can you make a post romanticising biology, chemistry and physics please?

the biology, chemistry, and physics student ༉‧₊˚.

staying up late finishing all your assignments and deadlines

living on caffeine and never more than 6 hours of sleep

desk cluttered with mugs, once filled with coffee and tea

an accurate hand, drawing and calculating all your thoughts and theories onto paper

running into class barely on time, hair in a state, outfit just-about put together

bag overflowing with papers and calculations

textbooks scattered with tabs and annotations

mail box filled, every notification receives your signature eye roll

your work is too important

living for your achievements, trying to find a way to the undiscovered lands

bookshelves lined with books detailing all your interests

reading Frankenstein every year

listening to chaotic classical music while you work, finding comfort in the changing notes

constantly thinking things through

ranting to your walls about your discoveries or theories

finding art in the exact, and finding the exact in art

Thank you for the ask! <3

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

There's a few things you can do

1. Put it under a beanie or hoodie cover, jut out only some of the hair

2. Cut it yourself if you can, and you know it's safe to

3. Look at inspiration of men with ponytails and man buns to shift your dysphoria into euphoria, try men long hair hairstyles on youtube

hello!!! as a trans male i want some advice—

about a year ago my mom let me cut my hair to whatever length i wanted because i let her get me therapy or soemtjing and j got it to an awesome pixie cut!! but it’s grown out to my shoulders now and its givin me some major dysphoria and i’m too scared to convince my parents to get it cut again. and no, i haven’t come out to them. i’ve been giving them hints, though.

anyways, basically want i wanted to ask is should i cut it myself? or should i just like— suck it up??? putting it in ponytails doesn’t help with the dysphoria