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the greatest skill a woman can learn for herself is self reliance

nobababasas

I have no desire to fit in. No plans to walk with the crowd. I have my own mind, heart and soul. I am me and it has taken me years to realize how important that is.

—R.M. Drake

― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[text ID: I desire the things that will destroy me in the end.]

You are still terribly afraid to be hurt; your imaginary sadism shows that. So afraid to be hurt that you want to take the lead and hurt first.

- Anas Nin

Must reads:

i’d like the sun to set with you by @chuuyasoup (T, 8.8k)

What changes is this:

Geto Suguru does not say, how arrogant. He does not say, kill me if you want, there’s meaning in that too. He does not look at Gojo Satoru with unfamiliar indifference and he does not assume that he won’t understand.

Or, Suguru extends an offer on that day in Shinjuku. Satoru accepts it.

愛のある場所; river of light (that brings me to you) by cosmichorrour (T, 66k)

A lesson in love is a lesson in swimming. Except for Suguru, it's getting dropped into the deep end with the tide licking at his neck, no kickboard or life preserver keeping him afloat.

(Or: This is how Satoru finds the ocean.)

Caesura by cielelyse (M, 85.5k)

The first time they meet, Suguru and Satoru do not like each other. Arrogant, cocky, insufferable, they think. Despite the smirks Shoko gives Suguru, or the sighs Yaga gives Satoru, they do not like each other.

Until a mission changes that.

paper cuts by HamsterQinghua (T, 36k)

“Hey,” he starts. “I think we got off on the wrong foot.” Understatement of the century. “My name’s Suguru Geto, what’s yours?” It’s a question asked purely for formalities, and he’s sure Gojo knows that, but he’s still unprepared for the other’s answer.

“Your mom,” Gojo drawls out, and Suguru realizes he’s starting to see why people want this kid dead.

or, Suguru is a contract killer. his final target is Satoru Gojo. this isn't a problem until it is.

The Traveller's Song by No_Ir (E, 23k)

When it comes, the death of summer is vapid and quiet. It tastes like stale water and smells like memories gone bad in the heat. Nothing mourns it and the air is speckled with bits of seawater that cling to the dampness on the back of his neck.

Crickets chirp throughout the night and the bed is too warm to sleep in, so he buries his face into pillows that smell like dust and salt and ignores the stabbing behind his eyes till he can feel the irritating warmth of another day on his back.

I miss the sea, he thinks, staring at the familiar outline of the window, palm resting on the friend-shaped dent on his bed. Exhaustion drapes itself over his shoulders and sweat beads like pearls at the roots of his hair.

I miss the sea like I miss my friend

Punishment For A Monster by @duckiemimi (T, 8.1k)

“Yeah! Oh, my name is Gojo Satoru, by the way.” He hides the hurt behind his teeth, his grin wide and friendly. He thought he’d only have to introduce himself once to someone he called his best friend. It’s strange to repeat words from more than a decade ago to the same person. “You can call me Satoru.” He hopes he calls him Satoru.

“I’m Geto,” he says back. You were Suguru to me, Gojo thinks. “Nice to meet you, Satoru.”

“Nice to meet you, too.” He leans against the wall beside him, tries to look nonchalant as he does. “So, do you come here often?”

Geto thinks Gojo is just a lonely guy who wants friends. Gojo just wants to know if he remembers him, even just a little bit.

bang bang, kiss kiss by bunkuto (E, 12.7k)

Suguru brings men home and Satoru wonders if, judging by the pangs in his chest and the sudden overwhelming urge to punt these hookups into the sun, he’s homophobic. They figure things out slowly.

Puppet On A String by @killjoyproductions (E, 6.8k)

Huh,” he muses. “Are you… saving yourself for marriage?”

“Nope.”

“Are you asexual?”

Satoru shakes his head. “I’m not asexual, just a virgin.”

Golden hour by damiselart (E, 38.6k)

the one in which Satoru doesn't run away at sunrise and has an existential crisis over morning sex.

love is all I ever yearned for; not this affection carved in stone by getoswrongs (juyang) (T, 15k)

“You’re a menace,” Suguru mutters.

“You do this all the time? Making clay dicks before you turn them into bowls and vases? And it took some loser dude you met at age 27 for you to realize you like dick?”

--

Suguru is a potter and Satoru is in love.

smile like brass by @chuuyasoup (T, 15k)

Upon arriving at the scene, it’s hard to say whether turning up just five minutes earlier would have made much of a difference.

As it stands, there is a lot of blood. Too much blood to be explained away, and too many strong residuals to be traced back to anyone other than Satoru.

Or, Suguru arrives at the Time Vessel Association hideout a little too late. This changes things.

I know that some days you barely exist- scrolling mindlessly for hours, trying to find some peace. I know that sometimes you wish you could be someone else because your 10 year old self had big plans to save the world and some part of you wants to make her proud still. I know that sometimes you feel like a side character in your own story, written with someone else's words. I want you to please unclench your jaw and let go of the tension in your shoulders and save yourself first. The sun is still out there and it'll be there tomorrow, ocean waves exist and oranges taste like peace.

I hope you say goodbye to the ghost of your 10 year old self because unlike her, you still exist.

-Ritika Jyala, excerpt from The Flesh I Burned

queen of expressions, nobara