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Soudam Week - Day 7: illness (Hanahaki Disease)

Petunias have contradictory meaning for they represent resentment as well as the desire to spend time with a person. The meaning of sending petunias usually depends on the circumstances and relationship between the giver and the recipient.

Gundham Tanaka didn’t like people.

 They were untrustworthy, unworthy of being oh his presence. Him, the Great Gundham Tanaka, the Overlord of Ice, and future ruler of this world, was above mortals and their plights. Mortals! Bah! Always so dishonest and complicated.

Truly, Gundham was better off without them.

 Beasts, with their breathtaking simplicity, were far superior. And each one a fierce warrior for the Overlord of Ice to make an ally. Beasts listened and understood, while mortals always insisted on things like reason and reward. There was no true drive, no true passion in their lives.

And Gundham pitied them for it.

===

The Angel was kind

The Demon was not.

 Time and time again the Angel would shield him with her own body against the Demon’s assault’s. Protecting from the wrath of one she might've loved a different lifetime ago. And each time Gundham felt the most primal of emotions flood his being.

Rage.

 How dare such a scoundrel attack one as wonderful as the Angel? How dare such scum try to harm him, the Great Gundham Tanaka? How dare the whelp even breathe the same air as the two? But Gundham has been young then, not yet ready to challenge the Demon.

But that day came swiftly.

 Gundham has spend months training the lost hellhounds that wandered around his domain. Earning quite a few battle wounds in the process that the Angel fretted over, but he, himself, couldn’t bear to explain. But he was ready. So when the Demon came, roaring after him and the Angel, the Overlord of Ice was prepared.

Gundham was ready.

 The Demon’s blood, his blood, soaked the ground where he walked. But it was over. The barking, snarling, and struggling. It was all over. The Angel had blinked once, twice at the scene before her. But she was like Gundham in the end.

Unable to shed a single tear.

===

Years passed and so did the Angel.

 But her death, at the very least, had been peaceful. Leaving this wretched mortal realm surrounded by soft whiteness and a calm, soothing smile. Still, Gundham mourned. Mourned and cried.

Cried and mourned.

 Still, he was the Great Gundham Tanaka. He couldn’t stop in his path to rule this world. Not now. Not after everything. So Gundham dedicated everything he had into taming more hellish beasts, more warriors to fill his army.

More allies to fill his heart.

===

His dedication rewarded him.

 The mortals who ran the infamous “Hope’s Peak” saw fit to offer the future ruler of this world a place at their institution. Supposedly guaranteeing his success unpin graduation. Bwahaha!

Perfect!

 He, the Great Gundham Tanaka, would conquer any challenges thy dare stand in his way! The mortals among him would flee in terror at his prowess! Let pure pandemonium erupted before him! The Overlord of Ice would rise above it. He was invincible! Untouchable!

Immortal!

===

He had no idea.

 The Great Gundham Tanaka, even with his army of fierce warriors and all-seeing eyes, had no clue as to how the loud, brash mechanic with the serrated teeth and bright pink hair would factor so strongly into his fate.

They met at Hope’s Peak.

 And it was obvious then. The two hated each other. Mostly because of misunderstandings and partially because of childish stubbornness. But how was Gundham to know? Then of all moments.

That Kazuichi Souda would be the one to kill him.

===

Seasons changed and so did they.

 But with the passage of time, one thing remained constant. Ever present in everything. Death was all around him. It followed him, ever since vanquishing the Demon and letting go of the Angel. And it was the one thing even Gundham couldn’t conquer.

No matter how much he wished to.

 Death came, as it often did, for his warriors. Some leaving this realm after a long, blessed life and some dying in the heat of battling for their lives in accordance to Nature’s laws. But each time Death came regardless.

And Gundham mourned every single one.

 He willed the sky’s to thunder and burn and weep with every ounce of agony within in his frozen, aching heart. He willed the Earth to split and crumble beneath his clawed, grasping hands. He willed the very lives around him to twist and succumb to similar heartache.

Souda had found him like that once.

 The sky had obeyed his demands, letting loose a torrent of wanted onto this blasted realm and Gundham reveled in it. Standing in front of his beloved warrior’s grave under the onslaughts of ice cold tears from the heavens. And, as Overlord of Ice, such a thing had no effect on him. No matter how cold his skin became or how startling a blue his lips turned. He was fine.

But not to Souda.

 The mechanic had all but released an ear splitting shriek as he scolded him, him!, on staying out in the rain. But Gundham only ignored him, shoving off the heavy, calloused hand in his shoulder. Couldn’t someone as lowly as him understand that the Overlord of Ice wished to be-

Souda picked him up.

 Skin on skin. Arms around his waist. Chest against back. Gundham, naturally, shrieked and screamed. Fool! Did he not know his very touch was poisonous?! Did he not know that Death lives in his shadow?!

That he killed everything he touched?!

 But Souda, stupid, stupid Souda, never released him nor dropped him. Just pulled him up and away from the grave and into the barn. There it was dry. Almost comforting with the familiar warmth and smell.

But that didn’t stop the tears.

 Gundham hadn’t even noticed them, not at first. The rain had all but numbed the Overlord of Ice, ironic he knew. But that wasn’t exactly his priority right now. Not when he fought and flailed in Souda’s arms to get him off, to get those arms off of him. Before he saw, before Gundham’s own tears betrayed him. Though Souda didn’t let go until he dragged him to the center of the building.

Berating him.

 Him! The Great Gundham Tanaka! What right did he-What could he possibly-Why did he even-And just like that, Gundham broke down then. Succumbed to his own sobs on that barn room floor. Holding his head in his hands as the tears shook his shoulders and racked his body. Too tired to even listen. Damn it.

Damn it!

 Who was he to think that he could conquer Death? Even the Great Gundham Tanaka was slave to time and rot and ruin. No power of his could ever stop not. He couldn’t save anyone. Not his warriors. Not his army. Not himself.

Not the Angel.

 So this was agony? So this was despair? Dark Gods, Gundham never thought it would take him. Not like this, not in some rain-soaked barn while a hated classmate of his was standing above him. Looking down on him! The Great Gundham Tanaka, being looked down upon. Truly this was cause for tragedy. Truly this was-

Souda touched him.

 Not like the Demon used to. No...The way Souda touched him was gentler, kinder. Like the Angel. And, like the Angel, he called out his cursed name so softly. Souda’s hand heavy and clumsy on Gundham’s shoulder, but there. And when he looked up, there Souda was, standing not in triumph, but in concern. Sweet, dear concern for someone he hated.

 Someone who called him pathetic, someone who laughed at his fears, someone who-Souda sank down. The damp sawdust and hay underneath him giving way to his weight as the the mechanic sank down on his knees. Level to Gundham’s tearful form. And hugged him.

Embraced him.

 With that same dear look in his eyes and those arms around his shaking shoulders. Just like that, Souda pulled him close. Comforted him. It was in that moment, in that rain-soaked barn, that Gundham felt a...flutter in his heart.

A pain in his chest.

 A tremble, a tremor that riverbated throughout Gundham’s entire poisoned being. A single movement that shook him to the core. It was that moment that something took root in Gundham’s chest. Something digging and pinching and aching. Something that began to grow and fester in the aching cavity of his heart.

Something that felt familiar.

Something like love.

===

It happened after that.

 A week had passed in Gundham’s glory. Though, admitably, that week had been full of tension between himself and Souda. With neither bringing up the incident in the barn. The tension only increasing with every passing day, until the Overlord of Ice could take no more.

It was homeroom.

 Souda had just arrived, heading straight towards the Baby-Faced One and the Lucky One without so much as look in his direction. The morning’s light turning the choppy ends of his hair a bright, soft color. Glinting off his teeth, sharp as a knife.

 Gundham had planned to put that incident to rest. To tell the mechanic to just forget the breeder’s moment of weakness. To let whatever feelings they may have felt at the time to just die. And that’s when Gundham felt it.

A flutter, a tickle in his throat.

 And it didn’t go away. No, it stayed in his throat, persisting until Gundham was forced to cough into his hand. It wasn’t violent, but it was enough to rouse the four Dark Devas of Destruction from their resting place within the Angel’s scarf.

They were Gundham’s first witnesses.

 Some object was lodged in the breeder’s throat. Splattering onto his palm with a few hard coughs. Gundham’s chest burning in the aftermath. The Overlord of Ice looking into his palm, curious as to what in the name of-

A flower.

 A rumpled, spit-slicked, and sodden flower. Bright pink in color and drowning in a small dribble of Gundham’s spit. The Overlord of Ice stared at it, completely dumbfounded. What? What was this? Some sort of spell?

Some sort of curse?

 But Gundham never got the chance to act or speak on his shock, Ms. Yukizome fluttering in to begin the day. The breeder’s all-seeing eyes flickering over to where Souda had hastily taken his seat. Watching the slow slip of his dyed hair as it moved from his back to his front. The thin strands sparking in the air like single streams of light.

The color of petunias.

===

More flowers came.

 But none came as gently as the first. Pink petals and fuschia blooms and magenta buds and forest stems and apple green leaves. They all retched from Gundham’s mouth in due time.

Bloodied by his own innards.

 The breeder heaved them up by the dozen in his realm’s restroom. Clinging to the toilet with white knuckled hands and abright sweat-shining forehead. Gundham felt every scratch, every prick of those flowery blooms and every scrape of those leafy edges. They sliced down his throat. Starting and stopping. Moving and clogging.

Choking him.

 The bowl of water underneath him like some cheerfully macabre specticle. Gundham’s blood bright and staining to white porcelain. All while pink petals float calmly on the surface of the bloodied water. Lush blooms bobbing in the thickened water, enjoying a relaxing, gorey soak in a pool of watered down blood. Chunk of probably vital innards clinding to bright green leaves as they ferried across the vermillion surface. A bowl of red, dotted with green and pink. Pink? Pink.

Pink like someone’s hair.

 His stomach convulsed with the effort to get whatever was inside of him out of body. But Gundham was never quite able to do so. There was new weight to his chest, something wrapped around his lung and heart. Letting out a pained groan, Gundham slipped his from his crouched, agonized position. The cool tile underneath him offering no respite from the strangling feeling and steady drops of blood from his mouth.

The Devas shaking next to him.

 Of course they had stayed by his side throughout this entire ordeal, absolutely terrified for him. But there for him nonetheless. The Overlord of Ice clutched his sore stomach, drops of blood still speckling his mouth. Oh Dear Dark Gods.

Something was wrong with him.

===

It was called Hanahaki Disease.

 But Gundham had to find that out on his own. Perhaps the Timid One would’ve been helpful in diagnosing him with this...strange ailment. Perhaps he should’ve told someone about the many instances where the Overlord of Ice had to frantically rush to the nearest empty restroom to vomit up entire bouquets of pink, blushing flowers. Perhaps someone’s opinion on Gundham’s strange drive to keep those flowers close to him. To have them remain his and his alone. Perhaps someone could have helped him with this strange ailment.

But Gundham’s pride stood firm.

 He was the future of this world, the fiend who would conquer this planet. How was he supposed to do such great feats if he was unable to conquer this one silly sickness. No. Gundham needed no help, no assistance.

He needed no one.

 But the blood and flora just kept coming. His research had proposed some preposterous notion that this illness was brought by the feelings of an unrequited love. That, somehow, the notion that not having one’s feelings returned would be akin to Death itself. Having those afflicted by the disease slowly waste away while holding onto the despair of never having their feelings returned. Hmph.

How foolish.

 He was the Great Gundham Tanaka! The poisoned, fiendish being who was above such absurd notions. Him? Love? Ha! The very thought was intensely amusing, for there was  no one Gundham’s ice-cold heart beat for.

Souda’s laugh echoed throughout the hallway.

 The Ultimate Breeder had been walking back from another exhausting exercise of expelling bloody petunias when he heard it. Souda’s laughter was loud, often times brash. It was hard to miss. Especially like this, so, naturally, Gundham sought such a sound out. Naturally.

Obviously.

 The sound had come from a near empty study hall. Holding only the Sharp-Toothed one, the Baby-Faced One, and the Lucky One. The former two cluster near the from on the latter’s desk. Souda’s smile wide and teasing. Gundham stayed there.

Just watching.

“So Fuyuhiko...that dance is coming up…” The tone of his voice resonated with Gundham. ALluding to something that brought that warm, twisting sense of rising vomit in Gundham’s throat to come back. He even felt the gentle brush of those velvet petals against his throat. Faint and present, like Death.

But still he watched.

“And?! What are you trying to say here dumbass?”

“H-Hey! I just wanted to know if you were gonna ask Peko out!”

Gundham swallowed.

 The act of pushing down the rush of blood, bile, and blooms was made suddenly easier as the conversation progressed. The Overlord of Ice watching Souda shrink away from the gangster, the ghost of frightened tears in his usually striking eyes. Gundham’s fingers twitched, the thought of stepping into action moving his body for him. In urge that arose in a moment of weakness.

But he held back.

“P-Peko! What the fuck are you trying to suggest you oily son of a-”

The urge came once more.

“Oh, you should! Though the opinion of trash like me should never influence the opinion of Ultimates such as yourselves, it is a dear wish of mine to see just what sort of hope you and Peko would make toget-”

“S-Shut the fuck up C-Cloud-For-Brains!”

How curious.

 Was this something Gundham had missed? Had this type of...companionship always been possible with humans? Could he have been wrong about them all along? Souda, ever the quick recoverer, jumped rights back. Laughing at the gangster’s red, outraged face. Never once holding the other’s harsh words against him.

Gundham felt the blooms well up once more.

 Running out of that space, pressing his hands to his mouth, Gundham’s mind lingered on Souda’s sentiment. Comforting him in that barn, despite the harsh words they’ve previously shared. Taking Fuyuhiko’s temper in stride.

It puzzled him.

 Puzzled him more than the blood and flowers welling up in his mouth. Souda made it look so...easy. Even for someone so usually cowardly. In that case, shouldn’t such a thing be easy for him? Surely it would.

Surely.

 But then the blood came, just as Gundham tried to make his way down the stairs. It came violently. Bursting from his mouth in a heavy spray of carron and iron, despite the bandaged hands that had gripped his mouth shut. He collapsed like that, coughing and hacking. Membrane from the breeder’s shredded lungs splattering along the floor. The purple red color of a bruise. Pink, blood splattered petals floating away on streams of Gundham’s blood. Flowing down, down, down the path of red that dripped, dripped, dripped from step to step. Some fuchsia petals still fluttering in the air. Flipping this way and that. Flying far, far away from him. Going. Going.

Gone.

===

He was going with Sonia.

 Souda was going with the Dark Queen that that moral gathering with Sonia. The way his smile shone and the dazzling gleam to his eyes haunted Gundham. Souda was a nervous pile of anxiety, fretting about every detail of the fated night and trying his best to make everything perfect.

Gundham long forgotten.

 Gone was that moment of weakness, that clink in his armor at the barn. Gone were Gundham’s tears. Gone were Souda’s arms around him. Gone were all the things Gundham longed to...to…

He didn’t know.

He didn’t know anything anymore.

===

It was Souda.

It had always been Souda.

 How Gundham failed to realise that sooner, he didn’t know. Or, more accurately, his pride wouldn’t let him admit it. But the Ultimate Animal Breeder was far past the point of pride right now. Sonia had stopped by earlier, knocking on his door. The last of many visits to the threshold of his realm to inquire if he was sure that he wasn’t going to be in attendance at the dance. And the answer was always the same.

No.

 Not when Souda would be there. Not when Souda would be so busy with ensuring that tonight would be the perfect night for him and Sonia. Not when all  his adoration and attention would be focused on her. Not when he wouldn’t spare Gundham another glance.

Another embrace.

 So this was it. His life, so full of spilt blood, would end with it. Another round of hacking overtook the Overlord of Ice, making him retch whole blooms of soft, sweet pink blooms. Dying the sheets of his bed red. Gundham couldn’t move, couldn’t do anything except grip those bloodied blooms in hands. Because those, even as they killed him, were far more attainable than the person they were meant for.

Gundham groaned.

 The Devas had likely snuck out of his room by now. Probably trying to find someone, anyone to help. But there was only one person who Gundham would even consider giving this deadly blossoms to. And, unless their teeth flashed like knives and eyes sparked with genius, this parasite was Gundham’s. This gorey foliage was his. And his alone. They would have to rip it out of his lungs in his cold, dead body if anyone else wanted to take these flowers, these feelings, away from him. These feelings...these emotions that made petunias clog his throat and blood well up in his lungs, if Souda wouldn’t have them, then Gundham would just keep them. Keep them clenched in a bloodied fist, never to let go. Never to set the pink petals free. Because such was the nature of his unrequited, pathetic feelings.

And if they killed him, so be it.

 Though, the Overlord of Ice mused surrounded by his own blood and innards and foliage, he did have regrets. He regretted all the wasted time with the Angel. He regretted just how much time the Demon took from him. And he regretted all the moments he let slip by with Souda. Just how many times did Gundham have the chance to talk with with him? Just how many times did Gundham have the chance to befriend him?

Just how many times did Gundham miss his chance?

 Ah, well. The breeder exhaled wetly, a lone pink petal fluttering out of his red mouth. Flying up into the air only to flutter back to the ground. Dimly, Gundham could here frantic footsteps draw near. But he didn't care. Everything was so cold. The blood around him was so cold. His fingers were cold, freezing into their gnarled shape. It was cold. But those flowers were warm. They were soft and sweet smelling. Gundham liked them. They made him sleepy.

Very, very sleepy.

 The door thumped, as if someone was trying to get inside. But Gundham was too occupied with the flowers all around him, with the flowers making their way greedily up his throat. They were so pretty. He liked the color of them.

Pink.

❤️❤️❤️

Happy #MuslimWomensDay 2017!!

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Soudam Week - Day 6: AU

Hi! Ultimate Angst here to make its debut! Good Luck! 

The God of Death knew little of weakness.

  How could he? He was the the Great Gundham Tanaka, he was Death itself. Nothing fazed him. Nothing hurt him. He was immortal and everlasting. It was his destiny to watch the world wither and die around him.

And he found to qualm with that.

===

Centuries passed.

  Death every constant and only growing as mortals became more and more violent. Starting to kill one another for the pure rush of it, and not for survival. Now that, that disgusted Gundham. Because suddenly it wasn’t about survival. Now it was all about hatred and foolishness.

And Gundham hated human for it.

  Such pathetic, vain creature lost all favor with the God of Death. And so the God’s heart froze. Turning his back away from humans and their pettiness, Gundham turned towards the lives of Beasts. Immersing himself in their lives and struggles that were, unlike humans, pure and untainted by such filthy feelings. Their Deaths were more frequent, so Gundham made a habit of keeping selects souls around to keep him company. Naturally, the God of Death chose only the fiercest and most loyal of warriors to keep by his side.

Four hamsters.

  The feared Four Dark Devas of Destruction who were the only ones to give the ice cold God of Death any warmth. Which was just fine by Gundham, the God of Death had no need for any sort of deeper attachment.

To anyone and anything.

===

A mother died today.

  Gundham never enjoyed their deaths. Because, even though they were humans themselves, they had carried a Life within their mortal forms and committed to the agony of birth to bring that new Life into the world. Indeed, out of all humans, Gundham hated mothers a little less. But that wasn’t what made this whole ordeal harder.

It was her child.

  The woman, a rather lovely thing with hair the color of darkness and eyes a brown the color of loving home, had given every ounce of her strength to bring her child into this world. A boy, Gundham noted, with many of his mother’s features. But the God of Death could do nothing.

He had to take the mother’s soul.

  A sort of burning in his hands as the Overlord of Ice reached for her that alerted him to how the woman’s time was up. She, at the very least, seemed at peace. Smiling softly at where her screaming, breathing, and wonderfully alive was being passed around by many a doctor. She was ready, accepting of death.

Her job done.

  But Gundham, for the first time in his immortal existence, hesitated. Was it...right of him to separate a child from his mother like this? With that same child screaming and crying for any sort of comfort? Was it right for hi to-Wait. What?

What was he doing?

  He was the Great Gundham Tanaka! The God of Death! The true ruler of this world and all others! What was he doing?! Sympathizing with these...mortals! Their problems, their plight, their agony and despair were of no concern to him! And so, with his terrible resolve restored, the God of Death reaped the soul of one Hanami Rei-Kazuichi.

Leaving Souda Kazuichi without a mother.

===

The will of causality was a cruel one.

  Ever since reaping the soul of his mother, he saw more and more of this ‘Souda Kazuichi.’ The boy and his father seemed deadset to live in the sort of area were other humans were mugged and killed or beaten to death. Even most beasts knew better than to spend more than a few hours in such a volatile environment. But, amidst such brutal Death, Gundham found himself trailing behind the young boy.

Naturally, he couldn’t see him.

  But Gundham noticed every little thing the child did. From chasing the stray dogs in his neighborhood on wobbly legs. To falling down, and bursting into shiny, salty tears. But, to Gundham’s disappointment, no one seemed to comfort the crying child any time he burst into tears. Every adult around him just...left him there. Be it in the middle of the sidewalk or the road, no one reached down to offer a single scrap of comfort to the young human.

And it's not like Gundham could do it.

  His touch was far too poisonous and soul-stealing. Through the Dark Devas took to brushing against the young child with ice-cold whispers of their fur whenever tears spilled out of those warm eyes. The second he made any contact with the young mortal, Gundham would have to take Souda’s soul completely. And the child still had far too much Life in him.

Still, the God of Death found himself reaching out nonetheless.

===

There were different types of humans.

  It took Gundham longer than it should’ve to realize that, but he did. There were two main types of mortals that Gundham chose to concern himself with, those who were cruel and those who weren’t. Souda, wasn’t cruel.

Those who bullied him were.

  They looked at his dark hair and warm eyes and spat in his face. Kicked at him. Beat him. Teased him. Mocked him. All while those warm, sweet eyes let loose an endless stream of tears.

All while Gundham had to hold himself back.

  Which was ridiculous! A God of Death, an Overlord of Ice, reduced to caring for a mere mortal boy? Preposterous. Downright insulting. It was beneath him in every way.

But still Gundham’s anger rose.

===

  Oh, believe him, he tried. He tried to put some distance between them. To recover some of the ice around his heart that those warm eyes had melted. Gundham had tried that one day.

The same day Souda’s father beat him for the first time.

  Gundham had felt something...deeply wrong in the air. As dangerous and unsettling as the smell of blood in the air. His instincts screaming for him to act, to do something. That Souda was in trouble. And, before Gundham’s common sense could talk him out of it, he was there. At Souda’s house.

Watching his father’s fist connect to his face.

  Gundham, for all his immortal life, would never forget that sound. That crack, that strangled cry the boy gave off as he hung, limp and defenseless, in his father’s grip. Gundham, even as the God of Death, would always be haunted by that image. By the picture of Souda’s pale skin striped with bright blood and lovely eyes rolling back into his skull. And, in that moment, Gundham never wished to kill a human so strongly before.

And he nearly did it to.

  The God of Death’s hands were right there. Ready to wrap around Souda’s father’s neck and snap his head off like a toy. He had all the fury of a true, bloodthirst Death God. Vision running red with the sheer force of his anger and the screaming of all the soul he had reaped in his ears.

But Gundham stopped himself.

  What was he doing? It was not this man’s time yet. What was he doing, trying to take a mortal before his time? And for what? For one mortal boy Gundham owed nothing to. The God of Death had taken his mother, but so what? It was her time, her choice. And she chose Souda’s life over her’s. So it wasn’t his responsibility to look after her spawn.

  He owed Souda nothing, Gundham told himself as he watched as Souda’s father eventually grew bored and left his son. Bleeding from the nose, on the living room floor. I don’t care, Gundham told himself as Souda eventually regained consciousness and pulled himself up on scraped knees. Salty tears mixing with open wounds and whimpering whys? leaving his mouth. This has nothing to do with me, Gundham told himself.

But it still sounded like a lie.

===

Souda grew.

And Souda changed.

  The teeth, serrated and sharp still stayed the same. The only trait he had gotten from the Demon that was his father. But the young man had willingly changed everything else about him. Gone were those dark, deep tresses and warm, lovely eyes. Only to be replace by bright pink hair and striking contacts. And, fool himself as he might, the God of Death mourned the loss of suck soft, precious features. But to his horror, Gundham found himself doing something else whenever he could visited Souda.

He studied him.

  Focused on the teenager as if they were only two beings in the world. Gundham, with time, found that he did really mind the changes Souda made to himself. So many things were still the same after all. Souda’s excitement over stray dogs. His timid, crybaby nature. The thick line of his eyelashes. The absent-minded braiding of his hair. The wonderful way his hands moved when working on machines.

Gundham found himself even more entranced.

  Found himself even more enamored and endeared. Souda had grown up strong and clever. Getting accepted in the prestigious school and getting away from the evening beatings of his household. Souda had escaped.

He was free.

  Which should’ve released Gundham from any and all guilt and worry. And, to most extents, it did. Seeing Souda so happy after so long in despair was wonderful. And a hopeful Souda was the most beautiful thing in the world to Gundham’s all-seeing eyes. He watched Souda make pure wonders out of metal. He watched him make friends out of all his strange classmates. Watched him grow a little more confident, a little more brave.

Gundham watched Souda fall in love.

  First with a royal classmate of his. A beautiful blonde girl who Gundham swore could sense his presence. An impressive creature with the girl of the Dark Arts that didn’t quite reciprocate his feelings. A sweet girl who still made Souda bawl his eyes out many a night. All while Gundham could just stand above him, fighting the urge to reach out and comfort Souda. With his hands, with his arms, with teeth, lips, and tongue. But Gundham did nothing but hold his own body back from acting on his deep, dark impulses. But before the Overlord of Ice could come to terms with these bubbling, dangerous feelings, Souda fell in love.

Again.

  But this time it was different. This time it was with boy with hair a similarly dyed, spiky mess. This time it was with a loud, funny mortal with cool blue-gray eyes and a lopsided grin. This time it was with a sports star with equally calloused hands and similar desires to change themselves from the outside. This time it was different.

This time the mortal loved Souda back.

  All while Gundham could only watch, invisible to their eyes, as the mortal pressed warm, wonderfully alive kisses onto Souda’s mouth. The same mouth Gundham had watched smile and laugh and cry and scream for all his life. Truly, Gundham thought.

Humans were horrible creatures.

===

It was easier to leave Souda alone after that.

  But it was harder to tell himself that he wasn’t hurting. Him! The God of Death! Hiding away from human like a scorned admirer. But what was Gundham to do? The very sight of Souda hurt him worse than anything he had ever experienced in his mortal life.

Which was ridiculous.

  Souda had never seen him, felt him, or talked to him. The mortal boy had no reason to choose Gundham over another mortal. Another mortal he could touch and hold and have dry all his tears away. Souda was better off loving that mortal. Souda was happy with that mortal.

No matter what Gundham felt about it.

  It was only then that Gundham learned what true weakness was. Weakness was always looking, always wishing for something but always having it just out of your reach. Just dancing out of your fingertips. Weakness was a cruel thing.

And love had made Gundham weak.

===

It happened one day, years later.

  But, to a God of Death, those years passed with a single blink of his eyes. Those years were nothing to Gundham. Nothing but hurt feelings and childish avoidance. Those years were nothing to him.

But they quickly became everything.

  It started when Gundham felt...that again. That overwhelming wrongness in the air. A crippling sense of despair that Gundham knew immediately that it was Souda.

Souda!

  Gundham was there in an instant. There, in that familiar place. There, at Souda’s house. The one with his father, the one with the Demon who beat him all his life. The scene was horrifically similar as well. Police cars lining up with narrow, dirt-filled streets. Sirens slashing into the air with frantic madness. An ambulance at the ready past the tangle of squad cars. Gundham couldn’t move at first. Then the world stopped.

And he moved.

  Slowly, stiffly on lead legs. Right, left, right left. Gundham stumbled past police officers frozen in place. Past movements halted in the moment. Gundham moved past it all. Souda?

Souda where are you?

  Gundham walked through the familiar entrance to the Kazuichi household. That’s when he saw it. That's when Gundham’s immortal soul knew true fear.

True despair.

  Souda’s father was passed out on the couch. Too drunk to be of any use to the world. But that wasn’t an unusual sight to Gundham by now. No. What hit the God of Death like a barrage of bullets was that Demon’s hands.

Slick with blood.

  Ah, there it was again. On the kitchen countertop, not to far away. It was pooling there. Dripping down to the floor to make another puddle. Oh.

There was a trail of it.

  Gundham’s head felt light. The long-since melted heart in his chest felt like it was trying to climb up and out of his throat to explode out of his mouth in a scream of blood. Gundham followed the trail of blood. Like breadcrumbs leading him home. Home? Souda?

Where was he?

  The Overlord of Ice was able to squeeze past the narrow hallway, following the spotted trail of blood, to Souda’s room. The door hanging open like he had rushed in. And it was then and there that Gundham Found Souda.

And Death fell to his knees.

===

Souda had came home.

  He had promised himself he never would, but it happened. Mainly because of Leon. Souda...Souda wanted to marry him. After the both of them graduated Hope’s Peak, they had talked about it. Even going so far as to looking for apartments that could double as recording studios and garages. Everything was looking good.

Too good.

  But Souda had to see his dad, just one last time. To do what, he wasn’t exactly sure. Make amends, he supposed. But time and love had dulled the innate fear Souda had of his father. And, the second he stepped inside his old house, it was like he was a fucking kid all over again.

Getting the shit beaten out of him.

  The only difference now was that Souda was just as strong, if not stronger, than his father. And, for a few precious seconds, he wa able to escape his father’s raging fists for a few, wonderful seconds.

That’s what killed him.

  His dad rushing after him and smacking his head against the pointed edge of the countertop. Blood clouded his vision. Blood ran down his face in ways it hadn't for a long, long time. Blood bit at his tongue as he tasted his own sweat and panic.

After that it was all a blur.

  A huge stumbling, painful blur of making his way to his room and trying to call Leon. Trying to get his boyfriend’s voice on the other line to clear up the blurring coldness that was eating Souda from the inside out. Souda hit the call button.

And then the world went dark.

===

Humans were such weak creatures.

  Souda was one such creature. Funny, Gundham had forgotten about that. But now, with the moonlight streaming into his familiar bedroom, such a fact became painfully obvious. His hair was spread out beneath him. Like a halo of fiery, blood-speckled pink hellfire. There were lines of blood on his face. Some dry, some still running with rich red liquid that stained the carpet underneath him.

Gundham’s hands burned.

  It was time. Time for Souda to die. To leave this mortal world. The God of Death looked at Souda’s hand, still clutching his cell phone. Calling, calling, calling that mortal he loved. What was he going to say, Gundham wondered.

I love you?

  What do mortal’s say with their last breath? Gundham had never wanted to know more than now. But, for SouDa it was too late, his brain was malfunctioning too much, too dangerously. Death would be a mercy. A sweet, cherish mercy that would be Gundham’s first and last gift to his beloved Souda. But one, just once, Gundham wanted to say it.

“I love you.”

With a palm cupping both sides of Souda’s face and those teary eyes with the popped blood vessels looking at him, Gundham leaned down.

Kissing Souda’s cold mouth.

Reaping the soul of one dear, precious, beloved Kazuichi Souda.

Can’t wait to make a contract with us? Here’s a look into our stunning bundles: https://contractzine.bigcartel.com/

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GIVEAWAY WINNER!!!!! 😘❤️💝🎉✨🎉✨✨✨✨

CONGRATULATIONS TO  @magicalgirlspotlight !!!!! It was really difficult decision to make and, as those around me will confess, one I was constantly thinking of.

Nevertheless, I was incredibly touched by Spotlight’s words and can’t help but  smile at in awe of how far we’ve come in this tiny little community :’) 

So thank you, Spotlight, for your love and support, and thank you @olkarianprincess , @diamondheart31 , @grbgcn2 , and @hessonite-angel-art (seriously, why does it never work with your other account???)

I’ve met so many wonderful, beautiful friends along the way and I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have you all in my life. It’s been a year since this monster of a fic has came out, but, for some reason, it feels longer than that.

Maybe that’s becuase updates take forever?

Maybe that’s because I'm constantly going back and forth on GM?

Or maybe, and most likely, it’s because of the amazing people I’ve met along the way who have clicked with me in such a way that it seems as though we’ve known each other for much longer. 

None of this would’ve been possible with you all! 

With all my Love,

potential.a

Can I honestly say that I wouldn't do that same?

No.

No, I can't.

LOTOR HONEY NO

on youtube

Me @ Golden Madness one day 😂

When the author deletes your favorite fanfic:

About Me Tag Game

Tagged by: @olkarianprincess (thanks! I don’t actually get tagged in many things 😅)

Rules: Tag 15 ppl you want to get to know better

Hmm, I don’t know if I would tag 15 people right from the start, but I’ll definitely tag: @galacticlee , @bronywn , @crescent-blue-moon , and @grbgcn2 

Relationship Status: Still a Single Pringle and Suffering™️

Favorite Colors: Blue, Pink, and really all pastels!

Lipstick or Chapstick: LIPSTICK, ya gurl aint no amateur at Sephora

3 Favorite Foods: Probs crepes, macaroons, and butter chicken (chicken tikka masala)

Song Stuck In My Head: MAMA...I JUST KILLED A MAN~

Last Song I Listened To: Thistle and Weeds - Mumford and Sons

Last Movie I Watched: The Incredibles!!! (The first one, but the second one was AMAZING)

Top 3 TV Shows: VLD, Brooklyn 99, and Supernatural

Books I’m Currently Reading: Make your home among Strangers (it was for school and ITS SO BAD AND PROBLEMATIC PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DONT READ IT) and Daughter of the Flames (15/10 recommend)

Last Thing I Googled: “Synonym for Disappointment” (ITS FOR CH 20 I SWEAR)

Time: Too Damn Early

How Many Blankets Do You Sleep In: fOUR and like a million stuffed animals plus my cat

Dream Trip: Japan! Or maybe LA???

Anything You Really Want: A STRESS FREE LIFE AND A GOSH DARN SIGNIFICANT OTHER TO COSPLAY WITH