I Taught My Boyfriend How To Play Magic The Gathering And Ive Never Beaten Him :(( I'm Not Even Good

When I started my transfeminine adventure I was mostly happy with how I dressed, I didn't care. I enjoyed dressing like Adam Sandler every day. Now I stress about outfits for hours before going out, and wearing my old clothes makes me sick to my stomach.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I enjoyed the way my hands looked. I enjoyed that they are scarred and covered in lines like utterly shattered glass. Now I'm exceedingly jealous of online hand models.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I didn't think about my skin, but now I worry about developing a habit of a skincare routine.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I enjoyed going out in public wearing my trans pride pin, but now I'm increasingly aware of the unwelcome stares I get - more than I've ever got in my life.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I wasn't so afraid.

I've had to boymode a few times in public lately. Fucking hate it. I've felt so safe being myself in my home town for the last few months but now if I wanna go outside in Toronto I need to boymode if want to feel even kind of safe. It makes me feel so gross and angry. Even putting on my tall boots and my trans pin make people look at me weird here. I fucking hate it.

Can confirm. He was literally wearing the exact same collar at the comic con me and my husband saw them at yesterday.

(We bought the large bleached dye shirt with the beautiful Luna moth(?) on it. Absolutely loving it 💜)

im actually a puppy dog irl this is me btw

Happy pride month maybe I’ll start watching Doctor Who again

Gith Marauder Token on Patreon for FREE

I had a fucking wonderful conversation with a Director who is a trans woman today.

I originally responded to an ad of hers looking for a transfem video editor for a documentary about trans people, but I was several months late. I specifically responded knowing I may not get the gig, but I wanted to work with her on this project that I felt was so important. It was important to me as a person developing a career in film, it was important to me as a trans girl hoping to engage and give to a community I want to be a part of, it was important that a project get made that could help people like me figure out what the fuck is going on with their identities.

So I waited for a response. Eventually one came. We set up a meeting for this afternoon, and the conversation we had was euphoric. I was so anxious and in my own head about the whole thing, but when it came time to talk, I felt like I was unapologetically myself while talking to her. I didn't need to mask, or change how I behaved for her. I just was. It felt wonderful. I've never had that with another person before, I think.

We talked about film work, trans experience, and MOTHERFUCKING TTRPGs!!!!!!!!! She called me "girl" in conversation and that was butterflies in my tummy. When I mentioned I was only 3 months on HRT she unashamedly and excitedly exclaimed that my chest was going to start hurting soon, and that lack of timidity about the subject was so fucking refreshing.

She mentioned how she enjoyed taking on the role of teaching younger trans people and being motherly. I added that my friends say that I'm the same way, but that I don't really have someone to be that way for me. It was a strange feeling to realize mid-conversation that I may need something like that at all. I never felt like I wanted a motherly force in my life, but maybe as I find myself in femininity that's something I need. My husband can only do so much to help me, and he's not exactly the posterchild for this sort of thing.

Nearing the end of our conversation, she told me to keep in touch and ask any questions if I need. But then she mentioned that we could go to get our nails done together sometime soon (I'd mentioned my experience with hand/nail dysphoria from a few days ago). I shut down. I stared at my screen through to her silently for a moment. I then stuttered, trying to answer. She asked if I was okay and if she overstepped any boundaries. I admitted that I needed a moment to restart my brain. Then I explained that I don't have any feminine friends to do "girl stuff" with. I've never been able to before. The idea excited me beyond belief. I said yes emphatically. I almost started crying a little, to be completely honest.

We said goodbye, and I closed the call.

Im doing a little tiny cry now, I feel so fucking good. I feel so proud of myself for trying for this and sticking with it. Proud of myself for not canceling because of my anxiety. Proud of myself for allowing me to be me unapologetically with absolutely no fabrication for the pleasure or comfort of another person.

Writing this now in bed. No other plans until later tonight. That call took a lot of my energy. Time to rest.

Night night💜

trans girls open this

aww you're a good girl huh? a cute little puppy girl? yes you are! and don't let anyone tell you you're not! look at you doin your best!

you wanna bark? cmon you know you do. bark. do it now. bark for me

that's a good girl. ok listen.

you're doin great. im proud of you. you have a fierce ass bark and you're gonna make the world your bitch.

even if you don't think you're cute. you are. you're allowed to be wrong sometimes. dogs make mistakes from time to time. you're cute

get a drink. unclench your shoulders. eat something (even if it's not the healthiest thing ever)

you're loved. who wouldn't love a cute little puppy like you?

dungeon crawl

VTM character concepts that I am compelled to share as they have completely taken over my brain: Part 2, Electric Boogaloo!

So since my last VTM character concept post BLEW UP and my brain is once again back on its bullshit, here are some more ideas! As usual, feel free to use these to your heart’s content! I’d love to hear about your characters too, so feel free to message me about them! Now, on to the main event: 1. A Malkavian researcher obsessed with statistics who hunts down “statistical outliers” in order to make sure their data is “pure and untampered with.”

2. A Ventrue who has created an up and coming adult toy empire (pun fully intended). They currently are in the midst of a fierce battle with the local Setites over who can cash in on the pleasure business the most.

3. A Brujah who was a successful athlete pre-embrace. Unable to participate in their sport and driven by extreme bitterness and jealousy, they now strive to turn the public against this particular as a whole by ghouling athletes and ordering them to discover, leak, and in some cases create, scandals. All the while, they rage against the sport they once loved under the thin disguise of false activism. 4. A dance instructor and head of a renowned academy known for producing performers who constantly seem to be breaking the limits of what the human body can do, much to the delight of audiences. What these audiences (and many newer students) don’t know is that this instructor is a Tzimisce and the performers have been carefully tweaked and trained during “private lessons” using a combination of Dominate and Vicissitude. Additionally, the Tzimisce is in search of a prospective childe worthy of being their dance partner, and has been carefully monitoring select students. 5. A Gangrel cryptozoologist who aims to be able to eventually master Protean to the point where they can turn into mythical beasts.  6. A Gangrel veterinarian who was embraced after attempting to transport what they thought was an injured dog to their hospital, only for it to have actually been their hurt and very annoyed future sire. 7. A fledgling Baali abandoned after their embrace who thinks they are just some weird Caitiff. 8. A Banu Haqim who was traumatized after they were almost diablerized by a Sabbat vamp. Thoroughly disgusted by the practice, they now hunt diablerists, all the while attempting to ignore the cravings and habits of their bloodline. 9. A Hecata “fixer” who makes their living by disposing of bodies, whether turning them to ashes through the use of Oblivion or by adding them to their collection of undead servants. I’m a little tired, so these are all I have for now, though I plan on dreaming up some more. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these!

how to write convincing dialogue

did you know that show, not tell applies to dialogue, too? while dialogue can be used to further your narrative, it can also be used to showcase your characters. here's how:

-what is your character hiding? most people don't say things at face value. they hide what they mean within their words and tone, but in writing, you can't verbally hear the character's tone. ways to convey non-verbal tone include: contradictions between words and actions, context behind the words (ie. the scenario, character's actions and feelings), syntax (ie. fragments, repetition, awkward phrasing). also consider who the character is hiding information from: is it the reader? the characters? both?

-favorite words or phrases. does your character use a certain phrase or word a lot? do they often put their prepositions at the beginning or the end of the sentence? these are questions to ask when you're arranging the syntax of the dialogue. everyone has a specific way of talking. make sure you give each character a distinguishable voice.

-personality. this is how you can create a distinguishable voice. is your character confident? are they shy or hesitant? do they repeat the phases of others because they have nothing to add to the conversation? are they confrontational or do they beat around the bush? ask questions like these. if your character is confident, they may make bold statements and appear sure of themselves unlike shy characters who use words such as "maybe" or "should" or "think." to boil it down, think active wordage versus passive.

-observe others. don't look solely at television or other books. sit at your local coffee shop and listen in on conversations, then try and break it down. are they hiding anything? do they frequently use any words or phrases? how would you describe their personality? the better you get at breaking down conversations, the better you can create convincing ones, whether shallow, deep, or as a narrative device, because even if you use your dialogue to move your narrative along, it should still be compulsively convincing.

one way to tell if you've ticked all these boxes is if you can tell who is speaking without any tags.

happy writing! if you have any questions about how to implement any of these tips, our ask box is always open.