While Exploring Some Different Shapes And Styles For Laser Defense Bastions, I Was Left With The Conundrum

Fun fact: the skitarii are so radioactive that every organic lifeform that they "save" will end up dying of terrible cancers sometime later!

I'm still new to Warhammer 40k, and I have gotten attached to two unit types that seem to be very prone to death (kriegers and skitarii), and I'm not sure if it's just coincidence and I have the tastes of a factually inaccurate lemming, or if it is so that everyone in the 40k universe is very prone to dying.

Rant about feeling guilty about ranting.

Do you ever start to type a rant or a vent post and just... delete it all? "It's not worth making a fuss," or "you don't need to air your dirty laundry." Fuck. I want to just talk about my worries and frustrations without feeling upset with myself. I promise I'll actually post this one. I deserve to speak about my feelings, but sometimes it's hard to prioritize my own feelings over someone else's comfort. Stupid.

VTM character concepts that I am compelled to share as they have completely taken over my brain: Part 2, Electric Boogaloo!

So since my last VTM character concept post BLEW UP and my brain is once again back on its bullshit, here are some more ideas! As usual, feel free to use these to your heart’s content! I’d love to hear about your characters too, so feel free to message me about them! Now, on to the main event: 1. A Malkavian researcher obsessed with statistics who hunts down “statistical outliers” in order to make sure their data is “pure and untampered with.”

2. A Ventrue who has created an up and coming adult toy empire (pun fully intended). They currently are in the midst of a fierce battle with the local Setites over who can cash in on the pleasure business the most.

3. A Brujah who was a successful athlete pre-embrace. Unable to participate in their sport and driven by extreme bitterness and jealousy, they now strive to turn the public against this particular as a whole by ghouling athletes and ordering them to discover, leak, and in some cases create, scandals. All the while, they rage against the sport they once loved under the thin disguise of false activism. 4. A dance instructor and head of a renowned academy known for producing performers who constantly seem to be breaking the limits of what the human body can do, much to the delight of audiences. What these audiences (and many newer students) don’t know is that this instructor is a Tzimisce and the performers have been carefully tweaked and trained during “private lessons” using a combination of Dominate and Vicissitude. Additionally, the Tzimisce is in search of a prospective childe worthy of being their dance partner, and has been carefully monitoring select students. 5. A Gangrel cryptozoologist who aims to be able to eventually master Protean to the point where they can turn into mythical beasts.  6. A Gangrel veterinarian who was embraced after attempting to transport what they thought was an injured dog to their hospital, only for it to have actually been their hurt and very annoyed future sire. 7. A fledgling Baali abandoned after their embrace who thinks they are just some weird Caitiff. 8. A Banu Haqim who was traumatized after they were almost diablerized by a Sabbat vamp. Thoroughly disgusted by the practice, they now hunt diablerists, all the while attempting to ignore the cravings and habits of their bloodline. 9. A Hecata “fixer” who makes their living by disposing of bodies, whether turning them to ashes through the use of Oblivion or by adding them to their collection of undead servants. I’m a little tired, so these are all I have for now, though I plan on dreaming up some more. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these!

wizard hat cowboy brim

Drafting the Adventure: Dungeons Without Walls

I love the idea of dungeons, but there was a significant portion of my life as a DM where they didn’t feature in my games. While Pathfinder and 5e provided a great framework for character building and tactical skirmishes that I could build story on top of, neither was really great when it came time to detour into a  dungeon. My players tended to get confused when we headed out to plunder the local ruin or cave system, spending a lot more time figuring out where they were and what they should be doing than actually doing anything. 

The problem as it turned out was limited information.  I had a picture of the dungeon in my head/notes but I couldn’t telepathically infer that to the party, and the back and forth questions where they tried to orient themselves within my mental labyrinth ate up a lot of session time prevented us from attaining that snappy pace that every table needs to keep the players invested.

Recently though I had an epiphany about overhauling exploration in d&d, and wrote up a whole post detailing how you could build and run wilderness adventures the same way you could a heist or a murder mystery. Because I was already writing a series about dungeon design it didn’t take long for me to realize that this exploration overhaul was 100% applicable, and could solve a lot of the delay and confusion my players usually faced on their next trip underground.  Spoilers: it worked amazingly.

 The key to this overhaul was giving my players enough information to see the dungeon as a sort of abstract checklist, and then giving them the power to investigate and check things off that list in whatever order they wished, when they enter a new level of the dungeon they get a new checklist to fill out which still keeps that sense of exploration. Folk love checking things off lists, and I as a dungeonmaster love it when players engage with the content I’ve spent so much energy creating even if it’s only poking their head in the door to realize they want to run away as fast as possible. Likewise, designing the dungeon this way let me tackle much larger concepts without having to sweat the details of filling up every little room as I would have to in map-centric design.

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When I started my transfeminine adventure I was mostly happy with how I dressed, I didn't care. I enjoyed dressing like Adam Sandler every day. Now I stress about outfits for hours before going out, and wearing my old clothes makes me sick to my stomach.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I enjoyed the way my hands looked. I enjoyed that they are scarred and covered in lines like utterly shattered glass. Now I'm exceedingly jealous of online hand models.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I didn't think about my skin, but now I worry about developing a habit of a skincare routine.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I enjoyed going out in public wearing my trans pride pin, but now I'm increasingly aware of the unwelcome stares I get - more than I've ever got in my life.

When I started my transfeminine adventure I wasn't so afraid.

Lorn's Lure is a sci-fi free-climbing adventure scale a massive megastructure in search of a glitchy ghost owl!

Lorn's Lure is out now on Steam

Gameplay Video:

I'm having a lot of really euphoric experiences lately huh? Last night after the meeting I got to spend my night getting drunk on wine and doing crafts with two friends. One NB who ive known some 2 years now, and one wonderful new friend.

We were making collage art with a twist – the collage is going to end up being a drinking boardgame in the end. Over the course of the night we had a bottle of rosé, another bottle of white wine, and 4 shots each of Kraken rum. We were sufficiently sloshed. (We put away the scissors for safety reasons after a certain point💜)

The collage making was very fun but it was never going to be the main event of the night. We had shit to DISCUSS. I hadn't seen my NB friend for some time, and their friend who I hope to get closer with is also so delightful to talk to. Work drama, life drama, cool stuff, bad stuff, sad stuff, we talked about everything.

I was so happy being with them. I'd never had something so personal but also casual like that before. We were just drinking and sitting around the room covered in a variety of blankets and shawls, and talking about the things that were bothersome or amazing and how we felt about it. We actually talked about our feelings and we didn't need to be breaking down mentally in order to do it. I've never talked to my friends about my feelings before. I was a boy. Boys don't do that. But now I'm not a boy and I'm not shackled like that anymore.

I stayed the night at my friend's house since I wasn't comfortable walking home on my own, and I didn't want the night to be over yet. I slept on a mattress on the floor next to my NB friend's bed, and I got a little emotional, we talked, and held hands. I'll never forget it. A simple gesture that told me "everything is going to be okay." No friend has ever done that for me. It's never even been a possibility that one of my past friendships would talk me through my feelings and clasp my hand in theirs throughout, telling me that I am loved. I'll never forget it. I love my friends so much.

If this is girlhood, and if this is what friendships with non-men is like, I'm so excited to meet more people. I might not drink as much next time though.

I had a fucking wonderful conversation with a Director who is a trans woman today.

I originally responded to an ad of hers looking for a transfem video editor for a documentary about trans people, but I was several months late. I specifically responded knowing I may not get the gig, but I wanted to work with her on this project that I felt was so important. It was important to me as a person developing a career in film, it was important to me as a trans girl hoping to engage and give to a community I want to be a part of, it was important that a project get made that could help people like me figure out what the fuck is going on with their identities.

So I waited for a response. Eventually one came. We set up a meeting for this afternoon, and the conversation we had was euphoric. I was so anxious and in my own head about the whole thing, but when it came time to talk, I felt like I was unapologetically myself while talking to her. I didn't need to mask, or change how I behaved for her. I just was. It felt wonderful. I've never had that with another person before, I think.

We talked about film work, trans experience, and MOTHERFUCKING TTRPGs!!!!!!!!! She called me "girl" in conversation and that was butterflies in my tummy. When I mentioned I was only 3 months on HRT she unashamedly and excitedly exclaimed that my chest was going to start hurting soon, and that lack of timidity about the subject was so fucking refreshing.

She mentioned how she enjoyed taking on the role of teaching younger trans people and being motherly. I added that my friends say that I'm the same way, but that I don't really have someone to be that way for me. It was a strange feeling to realize mid-conversation that I may need something like that at all. I never felt like I wanted a motherly force in my life, but maybe as I find myself in femininity that's something I need. My husband can only do so much to help me, and he's not exactly the posterchild for this sort of thing.

Nearing the end of our conversation, she told me to keep in touch and ask any questions if I need. But then she mentioned that we could go to get our nails done together sometime soon (I'd mentioned my experience with hand/nail dysphoria from a few days ago). I shut down. I stared at my screen through to her silently for a moment. I then stuttered, trying to answer. She asked if I was okay and if she overstepped any boundaries. I admitted that I needed a moment to restart my brain. Then I explained that I don't have any feminine friends to do "girl stuff" with. I've never been able to before. The idea excited me beyond belief. I said yes emphatically. I almost started crying a little, to be completely honest.

We said goodbye, and I closed the call.

Im doing a little tiny cry now, I feel so fucking good. I feel so proud of myself for trying for this and sticking with it. Proud of myself for not canceling because of my anxiety. Proud of myself for allowing me to be me unapologetically with absolutely no fabrication for the pleasure or comfort of another person.

Writing this now in bed. No other plans until later tonight. That call took a lot of my energy. Time to rest.

Night night💜

The Heavens Are Empty Masterpost

To provide easy access to any who would want to use the celestials I made for this project.  Please let me know how it goes if you use any of these creatures, I’d love playtest notes.

Celestial Herald; CR 7; a messenger for when Sending won’t do it.  Excels at ranged and skirmish combat with a magical returning javelin.

Apiarian Worker; CR 1; a bee-like celestial with a healing death burst ability.  Skilled at both ranged and melee combat, particularly in groups.

Apiarian Queen; CR 5; a bee-like celestial civic leader.  Ranged combatant, deadliest when her workers are with her to allow the use of her legendary actions.

Prism Heron; CR 1; a bird with a radiant tail, native to the shores of Mt. Celestia.  Skirmish attacker with a blinding tail attack.

Kinderwachter; CR 1; a child’s guardian taking the form of a stuffed animal.  Good at protecting a target, alone would rather flee than fight.

Bariaur and Bariaur Defender; CR 2 and 4; ram-centaur celestial nomads.  Both skilled charge-attackers with ranged options and many attack types.

Celestial Witness; CR 3; spy, observer, and sometime defender for the heavens.  Flying battlefield controller and debuffer.

Guiding Beetle; CR 4; beetle-like travelers who seek and aid the lost.  Slow but equipped with good defenses and many ranged attack and control spells.

Brux Lightstalker; CR 5; forest warden and hunter in the Beastlands.  Ambush and skirmish attacker with a light-blend ability.

Pax Pollinator; CR 4; conflict-averse heavenly field lurker.  Multiple ways to nonlethally discourage or end combat, a radiant pollen attack for when the enemy won’t take the hint.

Mudsinger; CR 6; salamander-like patron of the arts and mountain wanderer.  Likes to either mix it up in melee or stick to long-range combat, depending on how deadly it wants the fight to be.

Celestial Introspector; CR 7; heavenly therapist and advisor on mortal affairs.  Can actually make you fight yourself, has touch attacks that prevent movement.

Belieren Warden; CR 6; steward of the Upper Planes’ prison on Elysium.  Skirmish attackers specializing in isolating single enemies and locking down their foes.

Winterbird; CR 9; icy stormbird that rescues those in frozen reaches.  Skirmisher with a protective aura of heavy obscuring winter weather.

Tarn Steward; CR 25; elephantine guardian of the Glass Tarn and its prophetic powers.  Powerful charger and melee combatant with many options to shape the battlefield and move enemies around.