This Is From A Real Diary By A 13-year-old Girl In 1870. Teenage Girls Are Awesome And They’ve Always

i think my fav german idioms are “es zieht wie hechtsuppe”, “da brat mir einer nen storch!”, “holla die waldfee”, “perlen vor die säue”. most of them are untranslateable but i’ll try.

es zieht wie hechtsuppe = literally: It drafts like pickerel soup. Meaning: There is a strong draft in this place. Ex. “Close the window, es zieht wie Hechtsuppe in here!”

da brat mir einer nen storch! = literally: Someone should roast a stork for me now! Meaning: That’s incredibly surprising. Ex. “Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt split up? Da brat mir doch einer ‘nen Storch!”

holla die waldfee = literally: Wowsie the forest fairy. Meaning: That’s surprising and slightly unbelievable. Ex. “You managed to drink one liter of gasoline? Holla die Waldfee.”

perlen vor die säue = literally: pearls in front of the sows. Meaning: something is wasted on people who can’t appreciate it. Ex. “No wonder the Kingergarteners didn’t appreciate your brilliant lecture on Nietzsche’s morality. Da hast du Perlen vor die Säue geworfen.”

that’s just all. so nonsensical when you stop to think about it… they all have linguistic explanations (hechtsuppe comes from a yiddish word, for example) but they’re just… hilariously dadaistic. (and perlen vor die säue is just too cool)

Bin auf Die Wilden Hühner gestoßen… tbh my favourite ship (Sprotte x Frieda)

die wilden hühner: sprotte x frieda (leben auf dem hof von mona) source: x x x x x x 

how fucking crazy will the posting be the day jk rowling dies

My friend keeps asking me if I'm dating someone because I'm "constantly smiling at your phone" and i don't know how to break it to her that I'm reading about dead gay wizards

Queen <3

”the gay subtext between Merlin and Arthur is just subtext” interesting take but have you ever watched the fucking show

body positivity but make it ✨renaissance✨

every episode of merlin is like

morgana: the best way to kill arthur is to make him piss rocks. here i have this magic snake where anyone who is bit will piss rocks! he’ll never see it coming

arthur: i am pissing rocks

gaius: merlin is at the tavern

merlin: i have found a special flower that only opens when you recite a spell at it and it can be used to cure rock pissing disease. enjoy this tea i’ve made, arthur!

arthur: i have stopped pissing rocks thanks to the bravery of my knights. the moment they captured this random soldier who brought the snake to camelot, i was drinking my tea and i quit pissing rocks.

morgana: thwarted again! if only emrys didn’t know every detail of arthur’s life that only his servant would know!

all this talk of vanilla extract is reminding me of this tumblr screenshot classic