Henley Monday -

The Bachelorette - Episode 8 Recap

It's hometowns, y'all! In what always promises to be, and frequently delivers, a very full episode of shenanigans, drama and love. Des is also defying all laws of logic and reason and bringing back her brother to talk about the guys.

Before we get to that circus, let's start with a real freak show: Zak and his family in Dallas, Texas. Des seems to be as shocked as we are about Zak making it far enough to meet his family. He warns us that if we think he's crazy (we do), his family is really crazy (oh God). Zak and Des have the first part of their day in a pretty park. He really won't let the sketching/art thing go, so he's once again toting a sketch book to show he’s artsy and likes things she likes?

Not caring about other people’s dreams has been the butt of everyone’s jokes lately, but Zak is blissfully unaware as he tells Des a really long, weird, and involved dream he had about her the night before. You can see the confusion written on her pretty little face. Then Zak leaves her by a gazebo and returns in…a sno-cone truck? That is a part of his life? Am I missing something? Is the fluid for which he is a drilling engineer high fructose corn syrup? It’s the “family sno-cone business”, so I guess that’s a thing.

The sno-cone truck whisks them away to an elementary school where they are schilling out sno-cones to screaming children. The mob pounds their sticky little hands on the truck and hug Zak as he runs out in a giant penguin suit. The two basically treat this as a test for how the other would be as a parent because neither is running away screaming from the throngs of children. I hate this. Come on, bro. This joi de vivre can only go so far and ONE SKETCHBOOK does not a serious person make.

“This is where I get my lunacy from, and I just hope they don’t scare Desiree off,” Zak confides to camera. As soon as they walk in the house, the family explodes to say hello. His family is completely flabbergasted as Zak tells them about his limo entrance. They also have a kind of forced joy that is exhausting. If you told me any of them had sincerely been circus performers at one point in life, I would believe you.

Desiree has the talks with the family and one by one wins them over. Mom Maryann is convinced they’re meant to be. Sister is guarded though because she doesn’t want him to get hurt. Oh sister, prepare yourself for the worst. Zak and his mom talk about how long he’s been waiting for a worthwhile love, and the whole time I’m just cringing because I am 99% sure, sparing any real fights or showdowns, that Zak is not getting a rose tonight.

Oh good now the real horror show is beginning because Zak and his brother and sister will now sing the song Zak wrote in Atlantic City only now “the words have been changed to reflect how my family feels about you.” Three part harmony, two parts the sister is treating this like an audition, one part his brother actually seems pretty chill and has a great voice. Oh my god let me die: “Oh Desiree, now we can see/ Your place among our family!”

The time has officially come for Zak to finally tell Desiree that he is in love with her. He takes out a box that he’s been carrying around since he bought it in Atlantic City, warns her not to freak out, and shows her this cheap little chachki ring. It symbolizes his love and commitment for her. She maintains a calm face as they kiss.

Oh poor Zak. Poor, poor Zak. He tells us, “Needless to say, five years down the road, Des and I will still be together and we’ll look back on today as the perfect day.” Oh no, oh sweetie. He says more and more stuff of that ilk and I’m more and more sad for his impending broken heart.

Now we’re headed to Scottsdale, Arizona to meet Drew’s family. The first thing Drew and Des do is hug and kiss a bunch which again is a kiss of death for Zak since he and Des barely kissed. Let’s leave Zak out of this though. Drew is too cute.

We’ll be meeting Drew’s dad Mal, his mom Linda and his step-dad Bob, brother Mal, sister Angela, sister Meghan and her husband and their two kids. That’s…a lot. Drew also tells Desiree that this is the first time his Dad is going to his mom’s house. Yikes.

We also have to go pick up his sister Melissa, the one with a dependent mental handicap. She lives in a house with two other girls in a similar situation and a few full-time care takers. That is amazing. I really appreciate that up until this point, we hadn’t heard much about Melissa from Drew. He wasn’t exploiting her as a way to get screen time/close to Des. I mean she’s here now, but that seems like more a genuine “I want you to meet everyone in my family and she’s an important part of that” thing. The smile on Drew’s face as he greets his sister and looks at her is blinding. Ugh. So adorable.

Eleven. Eleven is the total number of people at this family gathering. I guess they are all important, but still, talk about overwhelming. They put over four bottles of wine on the table though, so I like this family already.

Drew’s mom is protective of her baby of the family, but the way Drew talks about her to his mom convinces her (and me SHEESH). Then Drew’s Dad tells Desiree that angels are real because Melissa is a real life angel and THAT IS BEAUTIFUL. He is so cute. His mom is teary eyed at his conviction when he says “I could get down on one knee for her.” His dad is very sincere, a little intense, but sweet. He gives Drew his blessing by saying, “If you want to marry this girl, I’ll throw you a party.”

This was the picture of what a great hometown date should be. “I want to join Drew’s family right now. I want to stay,” says Desiree. Now Drew just has to tell her that he loves her after telling his whole family. He doesn’t but any ribbons or bows on it, he just says it, says, “I love you. I just do.” AHGGGHALKDFJALSJDFOAWERAWOEDFALSJDLKFAJSDFJ NOW IS THE PART OF THE SHOW WHERE I FEEL THINGS

Ok. Composure regained, let us journey onward to McMinnville, Oregon for Chris’s hometown. I just love that Chris is from Oregon. He’s pretty freaking cute all excited to introduce his family.

Apparently Chris played professional baseball? I thought maybe it was just a college thing. And now I can’t remember for the life of me what it says as his occupation in his little bio thing that flashes across the screen. Huh. Anyways, they’re going to play a little baseball at the park where he first played little league. ADORABLE.

I mean, again, making me feel feelings. The date they have just playing baseball in a park is the best date on the season this far – no helicopters, no private concert, no hot tugs, just two people being cute, having fun.

Desiree brought some drawings of their relationship instead of poetry corner. The drawings are less diarrhea-inducing embarrassing, so it’s nice. She is actually pretty nervous to meet his family because she wants them to like her so much. Chris reassures her that she has nothing to worry about.

His house is very rustic, almost a log cabin, very Oregon and woodsy. Chris has a younger sister, an older sister and an older brother. Dad is very quiet and weird; he’s a chiropractor in Oregon, so you can imagine. Dad decides to realign Desiree’s spine, and she’s very uncomfortable with all the shop-talk and not talking about Chris. Also all the touching. Lots of touching.

So now Chris has come downstairs to his father’s office to talk about Des while getting his head realigned via his nostrils. There’s some balloon-like, phallic shaped thing his dad is sticking up his nose while they both calmly discuss how much Chris is in love with Desiree. AMAZING STUFF. This bizarre turn makes me like Chris way more that his family is nuts.

His mother is so soft spoken and just lovely. She’s very protective and worried about her son’s happiness. Apparently none of Chris’ family liked his last girlfriend, and now he’s worried about them liking Des. The producers are playing creepy spiritual “new-age” music over the conversation with Des and his mom.

Chris was nervous about how long his mom and her talked, but no worries guys, she gives him her blessing. They both like how independent, strong, and confident she is. Mom tears up giving a toast. I love this family, and I really love their house. I can’t stop imagining it in the fall. I would like to be part of that family, Des should too.

The final stop on our tour is Salt Lake City, Utah for the hometown date with surprise Mormon Brooks! Desiree is head over heels for Brooks and very open about it. Brooks, however, is less sure and is trying to figure it out here with his family. He tells her though that he’s having a hard time with the “process” of not seeing her for long periods of time and her dating other guys.

She has a whole list of things that she loves about their relationship thus far. It’s sappy but sweet and he adds some moments of his own. It was good for him to hear those things and for him to hear that she feels so strongly about him. As the date goes on, he becomes more and more comfortable and happier and happier with her. They go canoeing in a lake and it’s very romantic until he tries to kiss her and tips the canoe a little bit. “We took on water!” Brooks yells to the producers in the other canoe. Oh, Brooks, so droll.

Brooks has a huge Mormon family that jumps up and gives her a group hug when Desiree walks in. There are so many of them that they made nametags for siblings and significant others. Des knows how important it is to reassure Brooks here with his family so he can feel comfortable letting his feelings bloom.

A couple key family members pull Brooks aside as Des talks with his mom about their love and feelings. His gorgeous sister gives some very sound advice. This whole family is just beautiful. Like, the cardigan he’s wearing is this gorgeous knit, textured shawl collared thing, and I’m obsessed with it. He’s putting a lot of stake in the approval of his mom. But don’t worry, Mom approves in a diplomatic sort of way.

“Tonight was a big night. I feel closer to seeing Desiree and I in the union of marriage than ever before,” beams Brooks. I’m worried though because Brooks is the only guy who hasn’t said “I love you” to Desiree yet, and he’s the only guy that she has said that she’s in love with. Oh, it is much ado!

The only thing left in this episode is to deal with Desiree’s nightmare of an ex-con brother Nate. Desiree is using this meeting as an opportunity to gauge how her brother might react if she allows him to meet the final two guys. We find out right away that they haven’t seen each other since her hometown date, and that she didn’t speak to him for a few months after. She glares at him and he just laughs. It is a tense sibling relationship.

He’s so combative about everything Desiree says to him. She tells Nate about each guy and why she likes him. He patiently listens and tells her he’d love to meet them. She basically says “no way” to him meeting these guys. If the previews have anything to say about it, this won’t be the last we see of him tonight.

Rather than a fireside chat at the mansion, we sit down with Chrarrison at the Beverly Hilton to discuss love and the families. Desiree talks about how she can feel the love from Brooks even though he hasn’t said the words to her. She talks about how Chris had a bit of a rough hometown date. She talks about how hard it’s going to be to say good-bye to someone because she knows that no one sees a good-bye coming.

As she voices over her decision making process, we see each man enter the hotel in his snazzy best. And just as Des says that there’s nothing standing in her way to finding happiness with one man for the rest of her life, we see little Nate peeking out from behind a corner. That it though. Nothing else. What a let down.

The rose ceremony is on the rooftop of the hotel in a lovely setting with the traditional Bachelorette blue and purple lighting. Desiree cries as she tells the guys how hard it will be to say good-bye after meeting everyone’s lovely family.

Surprise, surprise Brooks is the first name called. Then it’s my dawg Chris. Leaving Drew and Zak. I think we can all make an educated guess as to whose name she’ll call. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it’s Drew. Duh.

I still feel bad for Zak though. It’s always hard to leave right after introducing someone to your family. His crazy eyes are at their craziest. Desiree cries as she wishes him the very best in the world, and he is the quietest he’s ever been. She gives back that heinous promise ring. Oh this is grim. You’re ok, boo boo. Everyone’s got love coming their way; yours just isn’t Desiree. He goes so far as to throw the ring out of the limo.

That’s all she wrote, folks. Next week is the Men Tell All special where there would normally just be the final three dates. There was a good share of drama this season, so I’m looking forward to it. I have to wonder though, with the previews they’ve shown us, is there an underlying reason to bumping up the date of the Men Tell All? Could something be awry? Time will tell. Until next Wednesday, catch up with me @chasspod. See you then, journeyers.

The Bachelorette - Episode 2 Recap

Week two is where the magic and madness really begins on the Bachelorette, so let’s not delay any further.

Andi is once again so thrilled to be where she’s at, and the dudes equally so. Chris Harrison stops by the mansion to lay down the law of the land and leave the first date card. The first one-on-one goes to Erik. He’s so handsome; I can’t really stand it.

She pops by to pick him up in her sweet Audi convertible and the men surround her like a herd of hyenas to see them off. They drive down a scenic highway, and land at the beach. They just have a beach picnic and build sandcastles and fly kites and giggle like little kids!

“This chick’s pretty cool,” Eric says. Please don’t use the word chick, ever, but I’m glad you’re having fun. Then a HELICOPTER COMES! THANK GOD! Eric does a good job pretending to be impressed by a helicopter when he has motorcycled across half of Africa. They are whisked away to Bear Mountain that is covered in snow. Eric is a really good sport about pretending to be completely blown away by the magnificence of a single mountain.

Then LOUIE VITO comes snowboarding down the mountain to give them a snowboarding lesson! Louie Vito who I’m most familiar with through my other favorite TV show “The Pete Holmes Show” and Louie’s reckless ‘tude!

Eric is like flipping around on his snowboard, total pro, while Andi falls and trips and tumbles as she learns how to snowboard. Louie Vito is pretty hands on but he’s tiny, so Eric is chill. They snowboard and are generally adorable together. They literally cannot stop saying how amazing it is that they were on a beach in the morning and in the afternoon they were in the snow. They are amazed that such a thing could be humanly possible. Thanks to things like helicopters and planes and trains and cars and wheels and the human foot, this is very possible guys.

For the dinner date, Andi dons a rather large turtleneck sweater. It’s actually cute, but if I’m to understand from the previews, this will not be the last turtleneck we see. They snuggle up on a couch in front of a fire and share stories. He shares a particularly harrowing one about the time he spent in Syria. It was a near death experience where they were almost killed by some rebels. He’s so amazing, and I’m legitimately having a hard time watching this realizing that this man has since died.

Eric talks about his family and how everyone has a ton of kids, and he’s finally ready to settle down and start a family of his own. Andi is really taken by him and of course he gets the date rose no question about it.

Next up is the group date. Going on it are the following men: Brian, Marquel, Bradley, Craig, Brett, Patrick, Cody, Carl, Tasos, Josh, Ron, Marcus, Nick S. and Dylan Bad-Hair Good-Face.

They meet up down in Hollywood to fulfill the date card “Let’s Bare our Souls.” This group has the most frat-boy mentality I’ve seen in a few seasons. So it’s perfectly fitting that for charity, these men will be doing a strip show/dance. They watch a group of seasoned performers shake, shimmy, and pose. And then a very scary man who is the director of the Hollywood Men wearing a blazer over a bare chest and some glasses, sets up the men to audition. The men are divided into three groups: cowboys, firefighters, and army-men. The robot solo is given to Nick and the aviator solo is given to Marcus. Andi is not secretive about how hot she thinks Marcus is.

Carl the real firefighter from Ft. Lauderdale is also going to be playing a firefighter here today. He has two full tattoo sleeves and is VERY ATTRACTIVE TO ME.

As they are going through the routines, the best part is the real dancers who are teaching them. They are holding little boom boxes and teaching these guys real dance steps for these routines. Marcus is very nervous about his solo, and he should be. All women have seen Channing Tatum dance to “Pony”. He’s got big shoes to fill in terms of female sexual fantasy. Except gross and like don’t etc.

Craig is continuing to be a big dork, and I hate him so much. He’s a “nerdy” bro and I wish he would just stop being around. He can’t stop talking about how hot Josh looks while dancing.

Nick S. is pretty thrilled about being the sexy robot, but Marcus is still really scared and nervous! Even as he gets into his adorable “Officer and a Gentleman” costume, his hands are trembling.

All the men have to get spray tanned and oiled up, and I’m pretty grossed out. Craig demands to have his package filled out. What a horrendous human.

But good news abounds because Sharleen and Kelly the Dog Lover/Sharp-Witted Diva are there to have fun alongside Andi!!!

The dancing begins with the cowboys, and Craig continues to be upset about how hot Josh is. Nick S. kills it as the robot and accidentally showed way too much. The firemen are the hottest though because duh. Chris Harrison slaps a butt with as little vigor as he could muster. The army guys get out there and continue to elicit screams and cries of delight from the wild audience.

Then it’s Marcus’ turn for his solo and he is so nervous. But then he tells us that when he got on stage he just looked to Andi’s beauty to calm himself and managed to have a good time. Wow. That woman’s face is so healing. How great. He does a good job. He’s no Chan-Chan though.

I’m sad there wasn’t more Kelly and Sharleen time. Carl the firefighter is covered in tattoos all over his beautiful body, and I’m gonna need more screen time for our friend Carl there.

Now that the dancing is done, we move onto the cocktail party portion of the date. The men spiff up quite nicely. If I’m not mistaken, this date is taking place in the same mansion at which Desiree filmed her “For the Right Reasons” music video.

Brian is really nervous about making a great impression, so he pulls her aside first. Andi tells him how much she enjoyed his performance. Their time goes so well that Andi ends up very impressed by him and his personality.

Josh M. looks like Mark Cuban to me from certain angles, so I’m having a hard time. He’s a former pro-baseball player, and Andi is super into his “type” but worried that that type of guy is why she’s still single. They have a nice talk and have pretty good chemistry together. Josh reassures her that he is not the “typical jock” and to not pigeon hole him so fast. We’ll see…

Craig is already blitzed drunk and still talking about how hot Josh is…

Back at the mansion the four remaining guys are on pins and needles waiting for the date card. It goes to Chris the sweet, sweet farmer.

Back at the group date, Blake is singing opera again on bended knee like a regular twat. Come on, Holland. Be cooler than that!

Craig is even drunker than before as he hunts down Andi to get alone time. She knows he’s super drunk and is pretty good about dealing with him. As they sit, she tells him he can ask her anything whenever. She is an open book. So Craig asks, “What’s the worst thing about your parents? Boom.”

As she continues talking with other guys, Craig continues to be the worst. Josh realizes that he’s kind of his wrangler and is like “Craig. Inside! Come on.” Like he’s a dog. Nick S gets in a swimsuit in the pool, and Craig jumps in fully clothed.

Andi is much displeased by this. “They do get that they’re here to date, right?” she begs to the camera. I don’t know, Andi. The rest of the guys are all pretty much done with Craig too.

The whole situation is overwhelming for Andi as she starts to question if it’s even worth it for her to be there. The producers finally lasso Craig to take him home, and Marcus whisks Andi away to calm her spirit.

As she tries to focus on the good parts of the date, she comes to give out the date rose. It, of course, goes to Marcus because she really likes him and also admired him for being brave with his dance solo.

Now we move along to Chris’s one-on-one date. He’s so sweet and so excited to show her a good time after the drama of the previous night’s date. They go to a fancy race track for a day of horse racing and glamorous times. She’s in a totally gorgeous green dress that I must have, and brings him to a closet to get all glammed up to match. He’s very good looking and also has the temperament of 10 year old golden retriever.  When he greets her again in his perfect grey suit with bowtie he says he feels like Pretty Woman. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

They have a fun time just being glamorous at the race track. And then an old couple (that might have been placed there by the producers but SHHHHSHSHH IT’S MAGIC) asks them how long they’ve been together. And the old couple talk about how they met and how they’ve been together for fifty-five years. They are so sweet. They met when he was playing baseball because AMERICA. It’s just a really sweet moment, even if those people are Chris Harrison’s grandparents or something.

For dinner they continue on at the race track, but now the whole place is theirs. I am slightly irritated two-thirds of the way through episode two that Andi keeps saying “stop! Stoooop!” in reaction to anything surprising or flattering the guys say. But during the date Chris shares that he was engaged at one point, but ultimately realized “darn it, it’s not there.” DARN. IT. HE SAID DARN IT. This man is character from a Nicholas Sparks novel.

He gets the date rose of course because he’s a very, very kind person who said some nice things to her that he didn’t realize were exactly the nice things she needed to hear. What a little cutie. Then they get the first private concert of the season from This Wild Life who are actually a really great little indie band and NOT some shitty d-list country singer! Stepping it up, Bachelor. They have a first kiss while dancing. I like them together.

And the final cocktail party is upon us. Andi is wearing a ridiculous dress that looks like something Whoopi might have warn in Sister Act but like when she was a lounge singer and not a nun, duh. Her hair and makeup is on point though. But this dress. Yikes.

Nick V., our first impression rose winner, has set up an elaborate one-on-one time with some strawberries and champagne. They talk about what they are both looking for in the next relationship. Surprise, surprise, they are both looking for a kind of forever love. A DOI. THAT’S WHAT ALL THE GUYS ON THE SHOW ARE GOING TO TELL YOU.

The guys have planned various fun-tivities to keep Andi’s interest piqued. She eats it all up like me in front of a hot cheese dip. She has a great kiss with Josh because he continues to woo her by being the big strong man who cannot keep it together around her because he’s got those little butterflies.

Then it’s time for Craig to try to apologize to Andi for being such a shit show on the last group date. “I have to do something more than just apologize,” he says as he does the unthinkable and slings a guitar around his body. Yes, God. What have I done to deserve such a bounty of gifts and blessings like Craig singing a song to Andi at week two?

The dudes feel equally blessed to bear witness to such a miracle and gather like little school girls to listen to him sing a song he wrote specifically for the situation.

Here are the lyrics. It should also be said that he is a horrible, horrible, singer.

“I messed up last night. / I had too much firefly. / I bared my junk to thirteen other guys. / But I hope and pray that it’s alright, Oh Andi. / Please let me stay.”

He doesn’t even know that he drank Fireball whiskey and not something he’s calling “firefly”. Craig is properly contrite but he is not that cute and seems kind of simple and it’s time to go home, ya jabronie.

Rose Ceremony time!

Who is in: Ron, Dylan Bad-Hair Good-Face, JJ, Marquel, Andrew, Tasos, Josh, Cody (WHY), Nick V., Patrick, Brian, Brett, and Bradley.

NOOOO SHE LET GO OF CARL THE INSANELY HOT, TATOOED FIREMAN WHO IS WEARING THE SHIT OUT OF SOME GLASSES RIGHT NOW. NO, CARL. PLEASE. I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE INFERNO OF YOUR BROKEN HEART.

Also going home are Nick S. the pro-golfer and Craig the big fat dummy Dumbo. She tells him she thinks he’s a great person but “just couldn’t get past it.” He laments his foolish decisions, as well he should. What a dope, and good riddance.

On to bigger and better things, like the “dramatic two-night event” of the Bachelorette coming at us next week! So much drama! Many tears! Many men proving their worth and having a pissing contest! Until then, my loves. Next Tuesday/Wednesday for the double feature recap, and as always, twitter @Chasspod. Besos!

Unlikely Loves - Jersey Shore Edition

                         Yesterday I got caught up in a mini-marathon of Pop Up Video (thank Jesus it's back) Jersey Shore. I do not exaggerate when I say it was riveting. Did you know that most of the guys were broke that first summer, and had to actually work at the store to earn money to buy groceries and boardwalk fun times? Ronnie would pick up extra shifts to pay for the extravagant go-karting dates he took Sammi on when their courtship was a mere springtime bud. Oh, the salad days...

Anyways, the whole premise of the show began as: they live in that house in exchange for working at the Shore Store, both owned by the forthright Danny, and MTV films their lives. But what's always been a fuzzy matter for me is, is that house really Danny's? Was this whole plan actually part of what Danny had done in summers past? Or is that the ruse that the producers created to give us something to hold on to as a show?

               Turns out it's all legit. Danny had bought the house years before, ran the store and rented to kids in exchange for pressing t-shirts with witty slogans like "Can you tell your BOOBS to stop staring at my EYES?!" all summer. Sweet deal. Even sweeter when MTV came a-knocking.

You can read a nice little interview about how it all started and how it's been since the show right here: "Take 5 with Danny 'The Boss'" and here: "Danny Merk, Shore Store: The Real-Life Boss from 'Jersey Shore'"

               Another thing that blew my mind is that Danny is the same age as Pauly, making him "allegedly" older than Mike. But if The Situation is truly under 30, then you should also know that this blog has won a Peabody. Regardless, Danny is the same age as those clowns, yet completely has his life together. He was a property owner at 22! He owns his own very lucrative t-shirt and hot-pants business! He's practically a household name!

I love this guy. He seems like a genuinely good dude. That first summer he was a good boss, coming down hard on Angelina (remember how he rode up on his bike to fire her?) and not taking crap from the rest of their sorry butts.

               In the subsequent seasons at the Shore, Danny has taken it in stride that Sitch naps in the backroom and Team Meatballs get day drunk during a shift, because he is not going to look his gift horse in the mouth. The end of this season also showed his lighter side when he brought a friend to help Pauly D. and Vinny pull their greatest prank of flipping the house inside out.

                                              Now, it may be because he is a decidedly atypical denizen of Seaside Heights, and it may be because he's surrounded by gorilla juice-heads, but Danny is not hard on the eyes. I don't think I've ever heard anyone share this, but maybe I need to be the first brave soul to say it.

                     Shore Store Danny is cute! In kind of gaunt and gangly sort of way! It's fine! Whatever! He kind of looks like a blue jay! To each their own! He and Vinny can go on to their post-show relative normalcy together! Fin!

     "Team Meatballs Are the Worst"...such a good sport...

Unlikely Love: Happy Valentine's Day!

                              Today is Valentine's Day. A day that, despite some pretty negative press, I find delightful.

It's the middle of winter.  The time of year when everything is gray and dreary and cold, and here comes Valentine's Day with red and pink and purple hearts and sparkles to brighten everything up!

Have I been single for every Valentine's Day of my life, save one my sophomore year of high school that I can't recall in the least? You bet.

Have there been Valentine's Days when I've wanted to throw snow and poop at couples in love and enjoying themselves? Definitely.

Would I probably enjoy having someone send me flowers and chocolate and professing his love via greeting card? I mean, duh.

But, being an adult now, I can look at this day as the brightly colored spectacle that it is. One shining day in which it's perfectly alright to share with those I love just how much, and why, I love them. I try to make a practice of that regularly (you should too), but why waste a perfectly good excuse to be down right mushy-gushy?

So, in honor of this St. Valentine's Day, I will be periodically posting some fine examples of love songs and damn fine performances from the one and only Celine Dion.

XOXOXOXOXO

Your Polar Bear

Henley Monday -

What day is it? What month am I in? Where in time do I exist? I DON'T KNOW.  I just don't know right now. I'm incredibly discombobulated and under extreme duress, so YEAH I totally forgot Henley Monday yesterday. But listen, listen, listen here is a really, truly wonderful image of some guy (WHO IS HE?) in a stunning ensemble of henley and suspenders and beard.

This random stranger is everything I'm clinging to right now. Hold me tight, bro! Hold me tight!

During The Women Tell All, Juan Pablo said "ees okay" to Andi several times because he knew she didn't like it. What a douche thing to do. He was so smug about it too!

Smug is the optimum word, for sure. He just had this chip on his shoulder that he couldn't shake off towards the end. I didn't start out hating this guy, but he didn't leave an inch of space for me to forgive him at any point along the way. Such a frustrating thing to watch. This interview with Chris Harrison after the finale is pretty interesting and seems to pinpoint some of the things I've been feeling about old JuanPa but couldn't put a finger on: http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx?news=856726 …Leave it to Chris Harrison to bring me the peace of mind and understanding I need. Three cheers for Chrarrison!

Henley Monday -

Happy day after Cinco de Mayo everyone! I bet when you woke up today you did not regret one single decision you made yesterday and felt like not just one million, but FIVE million bucks!

Haha, jk guys, I know you're all totes hungover and full of shame and regret for participating in a vaguely racist, meaningless holiday that serves as an excuse to binge drink.

Rergardless of your actions yesterday, you're stuck in a Monday now. A Monday that seems to drag on and on, and so here is Garrett Hedlund looking FOINE as Tom Haverford of Parks&Rec might say. His eyes, that hair, the suede on that jacket over a simple grey henley make Hedlund one very sweet sight for some very sore eyes.

Que se sientan mejor de pronto, mis amigos queridos.

We're diving right into the deep end of the pool with the very specific brand of Celine insanity.

Can we really begrudge her all the electricity conducting and modern dancing and bald albino clowns when we take into consideration the extreme melodrama of the song itself? No. The answer is no, we cannot. And therefore, we must enjoy all of this batshittery to it's utmost. We must. FOR LOVE!

Henley Monday - 100TH POST!!!

Friends, brethren, fellow aficionados of men's casual wear, it is with high head and swelling heart that I bring to you the 100th post here on Pop Culture Polar Bear.

For this momentous occasion, I thought long and hard about the pictures I would select and the men I would feature. After much toiling, the only right thing to do was to bring you my top two favorite hunks. Mr. Ryan Gosling and Captain "Chris Evans" America.

Never in the storied history of fashion have two men fully understood and appreciated the full majesty of the henley shirt quite so well as these two. May God continue to bless them in all their endeavors, and may He continue to bless our eyes with the sight of men rocking this timeless piece.

Bonus Ryan Gosling and his dog George!!!

DOUBLE BONUS CAPTAIN AMERICA TUSHIE!!!!!!!

Henley Monday - 

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?! She's BACK?!?! 

Yes, folks, it's true. SHE'S BACK. After a prolonged absence due to many and exotic travels I am BACK and OUT OF CONTROL with this Henley Monday because guess what I'm posting Henleys ALL WEEK. THAT'S RIGHT ALL WEEK. BECAUSE I WAS GONE. AND NOW I'M BACK. AND I DEEPLY LOVE AND CHERISH ALL OF YOU AND YOUR MENTAL HEALTH I AM GIVING UNTIL YOUR CUP RUNNETH OVER WITH HOTTIES IN HENLEYS. 

We start off this Monday with third-time featuree Aaron Tveit on his 30th BIRTHDAY! SO MANY CAPS BECAUSE OF SO MUCH EXCITEMENT! Happy Birthday, Aaron. Long may you and your perfect smile and elegant coiffure and angelic voice live.