Just Coffee🩷

Again... just for three reasons: as a gift, for decoration and for inspiration 🩷✨

It's definitely a good morning now, with coffee ☕🖤

I seem to have been to this coffee shop quite often, but only today I noticed another entrance, this little, cute door ☺️

I decided to share here my thoughts and emotions that I am alone with and that have filled me from the inside out and need an exit.

At first I was afraid, but I thought that my Tumblr is read by 2-3 people, it's like a diary for me, it's personal, it's not Instagram. It is what it was and is because I have not deleted a single post, they are all about me and my life. I often tell my close people that I am also real here, in my online life. I don't like plays, although I think I could be a great actress, and what photos I can take! Everyone would believe it...

But I choose to be real...

I'll probably write a few posts and then I'll run out of words. I have so many questions inside me right now and I keep asking myself in circles.

I feel like I am falling into the same trap. Like when I was 16, 22 and 29... And now that I'm almost 34, I'm back at the same point, with the same emotions. With the same questions for myself. Questions about friendship, about human communication...

I have always been the side with whom communication suddenly stopped, almost without explanation, let alone the possibility of explaining myself. I still wonder what it's like to be on the other side, but I probably wouldn't want to experience that in my life. I don't want those emotions any more, because they turn out to be the same as they were when I was 16, 22 and 29. Can I call them "unpleasant"?

Last spring was the same for me, I was looking forward to it, cheering up everyone around me when the snow caught up with us and covered our yards and streets, but April came, it melted, everyone around me sighed and smiled, and I was confused... Spring came, but my soul felt empty. Last year I filled that emptiness with my stories and wrote a lot.

This spring seemed different, but April came and I was confused again...

Winter lights ✨✨✨

My inspiration... 💚 part 2

My inspiration 🩷 Part 21 🩶

"Let's go quickly, just stop for my cocoa on the way..." "Are you a child?" I hear my eldest son's question and look at him in surprise. "It's just that only children drink cocoa," he begins to explain, and I smile back. As we walk for those ten minutes, I think about when I am a child....

When I buy cocoa instead of strong coffee to keep me warm...

When I buy "Kinder chocolate"...

When I take the children's toys away from their chocolate eggs...

When I lose the power of speech because of someone's rudeness and then leave quickly, wiping away tears, so they don't notice...

When I stubbornly defend my point of view, not always listening to arguments...

When I don't want to think about the consequences... "Let it go somehow..."

When I don't wear a beanie, when I take offence, when I eat sweets instead of lunch, when I pick up a kitten on the street (not knowing where I'm going to sleep next week)...

Yes, I'm a child. Sometimes and fleetingly... But then I take a deep breath, put on a strict black jacket and become an adult again.

Monday morning 🤍

My inspiration 🩷 Part 15...

And a little story... While waiting for my son from training in the shopping mall near the cinema, I sat alone on a big couch and worked on my phone. There were free tables near the café, but for some reason one couple decided to sit with me ☺️

I carefully pretended not to listen, but still heard everything... It was their first date, they decided to go to the cinema (classic)... They talked about how they got to the centre, what part of the town they lived in... They talked about who was looking for a relationship and how long... They didn't look like students, and they both talked about their jobs.

It was as awkward as possible, but I tried to write my texts... 🥲

Then they went to the cinema, the young woman in the red sweater and the man in the black shirt. I think he put his arm around her waist... It's like a film whose ending I'll never know...🩷