Now This Is Good Soup

Every time I think I’m out of my lotr phase I hear the beginning of the bridge of kazhad dum and immediately get thrown back into the trenches

If I see another “Batman thinks he saved his kids, but really he destroyed them” or any iteration of him purposefully making the robins and co child soldiers I’m going to lose my mind.

LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN CAREFULLY: these fucking kids would have found a way, one way or another to cause havoc on the criminals of Gotham with or without the care and training of Batman.

Remember, these kids could have stopped at any point, all they had to do was say so but no. After every traumatic event, after every fight with Bruce, after every death/almost death…they still put on their cowls and fought crime.

Let’s not forget the roots of these characters:

Dick: wanted to kill Tony Zucco

Barbara: Wanted to save Gotham like her father, ended up saving Bruce Wayne, then continued to play hero in spite of Batman telling her not to

Jason: ballsy street kid

Tim: stalked and negotiated his way into being Robin

Steph: went out on her own to stop her criminal father, legit ‘spoil’ his plans

Cassandra: born and raised weapon

Damian: born and raised weapon, thought being Robin was his born given right

Duke: willingly joined the ‘We Are Robin’ movement to fight for Gotham

What are you guys not getting? This information of how each kid becomes a vigilante is free…you don’t even have to read a comic, just look it up on wikis.

That is all, good day

I drew these a year ago but I just made a Tumblr so it's time to spam my obsession sorry in advance

LotR fandom, as far as I've seen, pays an astounding lack of attention to the Fellowship's canonical Roommates Period, in which they all lived in the same house in Minas Tirith for two-and-a-half months after Aragorn's coronation simply because he wanted his friends to still be around for his wedding (which, incidentally, he refused to tell them was coming).

Okay genuine question, do people prefer reposts or commenting on their posts? Because ill see a post with like, a thousand notes and no comments ;-; please just tell me how best to show my love

Hello! I haven't done any non-141 headcanons yet, so here we go! I always mildly dislike when people put König into the 141 stuff, bc my boy is in Kortac but thats a me going wild about categorization so like

Anyway!

Some König cod headcanons!

König. My boy. My very, very big boy. I don't know how many of you have been around someone his height, but I have. You can feel those fuckers looming behind you. They really do tower over everybody. He is also very, very cocky on the field. Have you ever heard his voice lines??

Despight that, he struggles a bit in social settings. He was a bit of an outcast in highschool. But not because he was just a bit weird, he genuinely kinda deserved it. Was very, very awkward, shoved himself into conversations without being welcomed, stared a lot, said some...more questionable things. And I'm sorry for this one, but there is no way he had good hygiene when he was a teen.

It's when he joined up that things got better. He had a female drill instructor who beat the feminism into him, and he is still embarrassed that it took that much abuse for him to get it. He is very, very sorry to all women.

He learned how to take care of himself after a couple more years. Learned that he was sensitive to perfumes, so he uses all unscented products. It's a bit uncanny how he smells like nothing besides very faint soap and cloth.

Because he is so damn big, my boy learned how to sew from his mama. Not well, mind you, but enough to adjust clothing. He makes his own masks for the field. His guilty pleasure is the steadily improving stuffed animal collection he has that he sewed himself. Just toys made from whatever scrap fabric he could get his hands on. His favorite? An octopus made from one of his old masks.

To everyone saying that technically Tolkien never said male elves have long hair.

Glorfindel did not get pulled into the abyss by his long blond hair for you to dismiss his hairstyle!

Celeborn doesn't translate to 'silver tree' because he had a buzz cut!

Finrod's golden locks aren't mentioned multiple times for no reason!

In the embrace of the fog, my soul finds peace.

Tolkien at the start of the Hobbit: oh I’m going to tell a fun little story for my children about how even the smallest people can make a difference!

Tolkien at the end of the Hobbit, gripping his son’s shoulders intensely: Chris. Christopher. Listen.  Greed will only corrupt you Christopher, it will twist your mind like a poison, like a disease, until you are nothing but a hollow wreck of what you once were.  Also I’ve killed off like half the characters in a battle I don’t even show sorry. 

Something, something, König picking up gaming in his free time, not uncommon for an older guy especially with a cute little thing who has a nice set up for gaming and he absolutely takes to it with flying colours. Kinda pissing you off how he’s gotten leagues better than you at one of your favourites in such a short amount of time. So when that skin you absolutely NEED drops you’re going insane grinding for it. It’s frustrating too because all the sweats have come out of the woodwork to grind for it too, leading to a lot of swearing and groaning on your end, coincidentally, König’s free time aligns and he’s more than happy to help you grind the tougher parts if you sit pretty on his lap and drain his pent cock.

What’s better than two stress relievers when he comes home from a high tension workplace environment?

(Bonus points if he’s your weird online long distance boyfriend who definitely told you an age younger than what’s on his ID and the place he comes home to is just your apartment that he decided was his too.)

Brother. The way this ask is in my mind. I would like to preface this by saying if you or a loved one is playing a video game with microtransactions and limited edition skin drops it’s not too late to get help. We can beat this together.

cw: he’s kind of a creep in this. Red flags abound. Somno/dubcon type stuff

Gonna make a couple of amendments to this one if that’s ok. 1) König is never going to be a god gamer because his hands are too fucking big and also I WANNA BE THE DOMINANT GAMER IN THE RELATIONSHIP. My ass is carrying HIM in apex. I don’t care that he knows how to shoot real guns. Don’t take this away from me

2) while he didn’t outright lie about his age, he did not say shit that would lead you to believe this man was over 40. He shared very few details about his personal life. Just that he was in the military, Austrian, and now? A gamer. Those are all the hallmarks of being a man in his 20s! Except the Austrian thing— that can happen to anyone.

I like to imagine he treats you like his discord kitten tho. You ask how old he is and he’s like “I’m an adult, if that’s what you’re worried about” or “old enough” or “don’t worry about it” and you say “okay 💖 yay 💖”

And he’s 100% your sugar daddy. Constantly buying you games just so you can co-op with him, gifting you in-game currency to spend on battle passes, absolutely ravaging your wishlist— steam, amazon, or otherwise.

He finds himself in your area for work and you tell him your address so he can meet up with you.

And you’re kind of a stupid femcel so when this dude shows up at your door, almost seven feet tall and wearing a surgical mask, scarred face with a healthy grey streak in his hair, it’s not setting off any alarm bells. There’s like at least 5 red flags here but you’re colorblind and inviting him in.

You didn’t realize that he was planning on staying with you while he was in the area. You also didn’t realize that the moment he found out he’d be stationed near you, he decided it was time to take your relationship to the next level.

Which is how you end up stretched out on his cock on the same day that you met in person for the first time, with him grunting in your ear about how he dreamed of this— thought of it every time he jerked off when you fell asleep during a discord call. He could tell just from your voice that you’d be pretty and soft and tight and perfect for him— and he was ready to settle down.

Good thing you didn’t really have any plans for the rest of your life, or you might find how fast he moves a little scary.

So it makes sense that you’re still a little shy. Too nervous to initiate things usually. So he just has to motivate you a little.

This skin’s an exclusive, can’t be earned with currency, and available as a drop for just 7 days. You can’t put in the hours to get it on your own, not to mention how tedious it is, and it can’t be bought. But it’s so cute.

So he makes the offer. He’ll spend his precious leave time helping you earn it if you keep his cock warm while he does it. He’d initially planned on using that time to rearrange your guts, so you’re gonna have to make it worth his while.

And maybe you exaggerate a little. You’re used to saying these things over calls— where nothing has any repercussions in the real world. Where you can promise anything from the safety of being on a screen a world away.

You tell him you’ll let him do whatever he wants to you if he can get that skin for you. After a moment you realize the implications of saying that to someone who can and will hold you down and make out with your cervix using the tip of his cock.

He borrows one of your elastics to tie back his hair.

He’s gonna get you that skin. And then he’s gonna get you pregnant.

You did say anything.