Just Thinking About Bilbo Thinking About How In Love With Thorin He Is And How Grateful Hes Alive And

Inside me are two angst filled wolves.

One says Fili is a splitting image of his father, the same eyes, same hair, same smile and gentle features, and everyone tells him how much he looks like his father and Fili nods along and thanks them for their words only to run and lock himself away for hours just staring at his reflection because it’s been so many years that he can’t remember his fathers face.

The other says Fili is a splitting image of his long lost uncle, always the odd one out of the Durin family line with his light colouration and softer features until he wonders the empty halls of Erebor and discovers a torn and scorched portrait of his mother, and two uncles, and finally seeing Frerin and seeing himself reflected in him, and having something inside him snap into place and finally feeling like he belongs.

Hello! I haven't done any non-141 headcanons yet, so here we go! I always mildly dislike when people put König into the 141 stuff, bc my boy is in Kortac but thats a me going wild about categorization so like

Anyway!

Some König cod headcanons!

König. My boy. My very, very big boy. I don't know how many of you have been around someone his height, but I have. You can feel those fuckers looming behind you. They really do tower over everybody. He is also very, very cocky on the field. Have you ever heard his voice lines??

Despight that, he struggles a bit in social settings. He was a bit of an outcast in highschool. But not because he was just a bit weird, he genuinely kinda deserved it. Was very, very awkward, shoved himself into conversations without being welcomed, stared a lot, said some...more questionable things. And I'm sorry for this one, but there is no way he had good hygiene when he was a teen.

It's when he joined up that things got better. He had a female drill instructor who beat the feminism into him, and he is still embarrassed that it took that much abuse for him to get it. He is very, very sorry to all women.

He learned how to take care of himself after a couple more years. Learned that he was sensitive to perfumes, so he uses all unscented products. It's a bit uncanny how he smells like nothing besides very faint soap and cloth.

Because he is so damn big, my boy learned how to sew from his mama. Not well, mind you, but enough to adjust clothing. He makes his own masks for the field. His guilty pleasure is the steadily improving stuffed animal collection he has that he sewed himself. Just toys made from whatever scrap fabric he could get his hands on. His favorite? An octopus made from one of his old masks.

Aragorn really is *the* man or all time huh?

The absolute whiplash

I love the whole concept that all the mortals by the late third age have this idea of elves as these serene, calm, wise and peaceful beings. Like at the council of Elrond and the like they all see the elves as inherently great givers of advice with the bigger picture at heart. Imagine if someone from then read a book on the first age. Like Faramir being exposed to Elrond’s records after he leaves for Valinor and thinking are these really the same species? Why are they setting everything on fire? Was the founder of Numenor really raised by these people? Did the calm lord Elrond really hold a knife to that guys throat? They are all completely feral and bloodthirsty and possess no basic judgement skills. Frodo getting to Valinor and being invited to a party at Finrod’s house. Expecting a deep cryptic discussion on lore and feeling out of place among all these dignified ethereal legends. And like ten minutes in people are playing drinking games with knives and fire. Frodo expects Lord Elrond to be shocked at his relatives behaviour but finds him in a knife throwing competition with the former high king. He seems to be winning. He also sees what seems to be two high kings making out in the stairwell. His last hope is Galadriel whose now in an intense bar fight with three of her cousins. Her husband is cheering her on from the corner.

The elves are not actually inherently wise. They just made all the mistakes and learnt from them after about the fifth attempt.

DUDEEEE older step bro Simon is legit rotting so bad in my brain rn

Mmmmmm

cw: stepcest and fauxcest

Simon is sooooooooo good for this because I think the setup here is really clear lol

His father and your mother. He really pitied you when they got married. Sure, your mother was an unfortunate party, but she had her own issues as a parent and most of all? She was a free adult. She could leave. You didn’t have that luxury and at the time, neither did Simon.

I imagine he was in his teens and you were still a bit young when they got married. And he became your shelter. He was the one who would take you away in his shitbox of a car when your parents were fighting, and buy you some fast food. He let you crawl into his bed. He made you breakfast and took you to school when they didn’t, even when it made him horrifically late to school himself. He was why you ate overcooked scrambled eggs on toast when you otherwise might’ve had to get by on cereal.

It broke his damned heart to enlist, but in his view, it was the only way. He had no path or funds for higher education and almost no job prospects in the shitty little town, much less ones that would pay him enough to move out and support himself and you. So he went away.

You wrote letters religiously. He always responded, though sometimes he could barely push out a single sentence because of how hard he worked himself in the beginning. Occasionally when the times lined up, he’d call. The best nights of your life. He’d send money, sometimes with some simple instructions— advice your parents would never give. Left you his shitty car. Told you to try your hardest to get a flat somewhere far away the minute you were old enough. You didn’t have any credit, and barely any employment or records of your own (it had been its own battle to wrestle yours and Simon’s documents from your parents), so everything was in Simon’s name, and you were fine with that.

He tries to maximize his deployment time. He wants to get benefits and rise the ranks as soon as possible, all for your sake. Before he knows it— between the months overseas, the long nights and weeks in no-communication zones, being taken prisoner for the first time and tortured— it ends up being years before he sees you again. The only sign you have that he’s alive is the deposit of pay to the account and the clearing of the rent and utilities bills.

You were a teenager when he left, and now you’re in your 20s. A job of your own. Kept the flat tidy— a room made up for him, even after all this time.

And all that time sweating and bleeding across the globe, under the mercy and blade of others, he’s a little twisted. Not just in the physical scars, but inside. He’s spent so long neglecting himself, thinking of you— of you being the reason he gets up and the reason he pushes through. He almost reveres you.

And god knows he could never stomach inviting a hookup to the flat that you’ve made into a home for the both of you. So what else can he do but start to covet?

Bilbo: I love you,

Thorin: Affection? Disgusting.

Thorin: ... Do it again

LOTR & HOBBIT TEXT POSTS

Something, something, König picking up gaming in his free time, not uncommon for an older guy especially with a cute little thing who has a nice set up for gaming and he absolutely takes to it with flying colours. Kinda pissing you off how he’s gotten leagues better than you at one of your favourites in such a short amount of time. So when that skin you absolutely NEED drops you’re going insane grinding for it. It’s frustrating too because all the sweats have come out of the woodwork to grind for it too, leading to a lot of swearing and groaning on your end, coincidentally, König’s free time aligns and he’s more than happy to help you grind the tougher parts if you sit pretty on his lap and drain his pent cock.

What’s better than two stress relievers when he comes home from a high tension workplace environment?

(Bonus points if he’s your weird online long distance boyfriend who definitely told you an age younger than what’s on his ID and the place he comes home to is just your apartment that he decided was his too.)

Brother. The way this ask is in my mind. I would like to preface this by saying if you or a loved one is playing a video game with microtransactions and limited edition skin drops it’s not too late to get help. We can beat this together.

cw: he’s kind of a creep in this. Red flags abound. Somno/dubcon type stuff

Gonna make a couple of amendments to this one if that’s ok. 1) König is never going to be a god gamer because his hands are too fucking big and also I WANNA BE THE DOMINANT GAMER IN THE RELATIONSHIP. My ass is carrying HIM in apex. I don’t care that he knows how to shoot real guns. Don’t take this away from me

2) while he didn’t outright lie about his age, he did not say shit that would lead you to believe this man was over 40. He shared very few details about his personal life. Just that he was in the military, Austrian, and now? A gamer. Those are all the hallmarks of being a man in his 20s! Except the Austrian thing— that can happen to anyone.

I like to imagine he treats you like his discord kitten tho. You ask how old he is and he’s like “I’m an adult, if that’s what you’re worried about” or “old enough” or “don’t worry about it” and you say “okay 💖 yay 💖”

And he’s 100% your sugar daddy. Constantly buying you games just so you can co-op with him, gifting you in-game currency to spend on battle passes, absolutely ravaging your wishlist— steam, amazon, or otherwise.

He finds himself in your area for work and you tell him your address so he can meet up with you.

And you’re kind of a stupid femcel so when this dude shows up at your door, almost seven feet tall and wearing a surgical mask, scarred face with a healthy grey streak in his hair, it’s not setting off any alarm bells. There’s like at least 5 red flags here but you’re colorblind and inviting him in.

You didn’t realize that he was planning on staying with you while he was in the area. You also didn’t realize that the moment he found out he’d be stationed near you, he decided it was time to take your relationship to the next level.

Which is how you end up stretched out on his cock on the same day that you met in person for the first time, with him grunting in your ear about how he dreamed of this— thought of it every time he jerked off when you fell asleep during a discord call. He could tell just from your voice that you’d be pretty and soft and tight and perfect for him— and he was ready to settle down.

Good thing you didn’t really have any plans for the rest of your life, or you might find how fast he moves a little scary.

So it makes sense that you’re still a little shy. Too nervous to initiate things usually. So he just has to motivate you a little.

This skin’s an exclusive, can’t be earned with currency, and available as a drop for just 7 days. You can’t put in the hours to get it on your own, not to mention how tedious it is, and it can’t be bought. But it’s so cute.

So he makes the offer. He’ll spend his precious leave time helping you earn it if you keep his cock warm while he does it. He’d initially planned on using that time to rearrange your guts, so you’re gonna have to make it worth his while.

And maybe you exaggerate a little. You’re used to saying these things over calls— where nothing has any repercussions in the real world. Where you can promise anything from the safety of being on a screen a world away.

You tell him you’ll let him do whatever he wants to you if he can get that skin for you. After a moment you realize the implications of saying that to someone who can and will hold you down and make out with your cervix using the tip of his cock.

He borrows one of your elastics to tie back his hair.

He’s gonna get you that skin. And then he’s gonna get you pregnant.

You did say anything.

Love how dwarf’s are more or less not like great with other races (especially elves) and then the 3 most popular dwarfs are all shipped with non-dwarfs