What Happens Once You Kill Yourself? Because I'm Ready To Go.

What happens once you kill yourself? Because I'm ready to go.

You wanna know what happens once you kill yourself? Your mother comes home from work and finds her baby dead and she screams and runs over to you and tries to get you to wake up but you won’t and she keeps screaming and shaking you and her tears are dripping onto your face and your dad hears all the screaming and runs into the room and he can’t even speak because the child that he loved and the child that he watched grow up is gone forever and finally your little sister runs into the room to see what all the fuss is about and she sees you dead. The person she looked up to and loved. The person she bragged about to her friends, the person she wanted to be just like when she grew up, the person that made her feel safe. But she’s never really going to get to grow up and smile and laugh and love because she’ll always be consumed with this feeling of missing you. And now there’s something missing from your family and they can barely look at each other anymore because everything reminds them of you but you’re gone and hurts more than anything. and you think that your mom never cared because she was always busy and yelling at you to finish your homework and clean your room and forgot to say I love you sometimes but really, she loved you more than anything and she doesn’t leave the house anymore, she can’t even get out of bed and she’s getting thinner and thinner because it’s too hard to eat. Your father had to quit his job and he doesn’t sleep anymore, every time he closes his eyes he sees his baby dead, and the image never goes away no matter how much alcohol he drinks. And at school your best friend sees that your seat is empty and she gets this sick feeling in her stomach and that’s when she hears the announcement. You killed yourself. And suddenly she’s screaming and crying in the middle of class and no one even bothers comforting because they’re all busy sitting there staring at your empty seat with tears dripping down their cheeks and all she wants is for you to hug her and tell her it’s gonna be okay like you always did, but this time, you’re not there to do it, everything is dark now that you’re gone and her grades are slipping, she barely goes to school anymore and she ended up in hospital after taking too many pills because she wanted to see you again. the girls who used to make fun of the way you dressed feel their throats get tight, they don’t talk to each other anymore, they don’t talk to anyone, they’re all in therapy trying so hard not to blame themselves but nothing works. and your teacher who always gave you a hard time stares blankly at the wall, she quits her job a few days later. And then your boyfriend hears the news and he can’t breathe, he still calls you a lot just to hear your voice and he talks to you on facebook but you never message him back, he can’t fall in love again because every girl he meets reminds him of you, he’s never going to get over you, he loved you and he cries himself to sleep every night, hating himself and slicing his skin because he couldn’t save you and he’s never going to hold you in his arms or hear you laugh again. Now everyone who knew you, whether they were a big part of your life or someone you passed in the hallway a few times a week, they carry this aching feeling around inside them because you’re gone, and they miss you, and they don’t know why you left but it must’ve been their fault and they should’ve stopped you and they should’ve told you they loved you more and that feeling is never going to go away. And so you killed yourself

but you killed everyone else around you too.

Please reblog if:

•your anxiety has made it difficult for you to voice your opinion

•your anxiety has made it difficult to dress the way you want

•your anxiety has made it difficult to ask for help

•your anxiety has made you constantly worry if you are being annoying and wonder if your friends and family are valid relationships or if they just put up with you because they have to

And please know that you are not fighting this battle alone. You are worth more than your anxiety says. You matter and so does your opinion and your say. You are awesome

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plasma-grunt-ellis

11 years ago

I was talking with some of my friends today about the same thing. People always complain about new designs because of what they're based on, but most of the pokemon in kanto have bland and lazy designs. Just think about it, how is a rock with a face too different from an ice cream cone? There isn't any real reason why gen 1 stands out besides nostalgia.

you have ur right to an opinion i just think kanto is trash and has little redeeming qualities. first region. uhhhhhh. nostalgia. i guess. thats all

Reblog if you love Markiplier

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plasma-grunt-ellis

9 years ago

everyone reblog this now

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plasma-grunt-ellis

9 years ago

Polyamory

Reblog if you’re polyamorous/open to polyamory in the future/in a polycule or open to one/interested in polyamory I want to see how many of us there are

And like if you think polyamory is okay, can be healthy, and doesn’t “go against human nature”

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plasma-grunt-ellis

9 years ago

To everyone reblogging this piece of art from zamii070

Please I urge you NOT to do so. This “friend” she mentions to have drawn for is a man named Matthew James Gridley aka Griddles. He has been charged with counts of csa(x) and has produced lolicon of said characters above. I plead that the young users here do not engage in contact or seek his attention. I just really want everyone to be safe, especially the kids/teens.

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plasma-grunt-ellis

9 years ago

PLEASE READ

Guys, Septembers coming.

We need to respect Billie Joe.

For people who don’t know what the song ‘Wake Me Up When September Ends’ is about, its about Billie Joe’s father passing.

Next month, respect Billie Joe, and the members of Green Day.

Please pass it on.

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plasma-grunt-ellis

10 years ago

Please don't scroll past

Please reblog or like if you feel a teacher’s negative behaviour towards you has ever brought your grade down or caused you to lose interest in a class.

This would really help me with a research project I’m starting.

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plasma-grunt-ellis

9 years ago

reblog for trans wario

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plasma-grunt-ellis

9 years ago

Click here to support Jeannine's Between Jobs Fund!

Here's a link to my GoFundMe page!!

Hello friends and followers! I really, really need your help financially!

I’ve been keeping quiet about this for a while here on Tumblr, since I didn’t want to seem like a burden to anyone, but I’m really struggling now, and I can’t keep trying to pretend I can handle this by myself, because I can’t.

Basically, I quit my previous job and will be starting a new, better one this Tuesday, August 11th! It’s going to be a higher pay, and much less stressful for me, which will be helpful with my depression! Bad news is, my final paycheck from my last job will only cover 1 weeks worth of pay (because I took a 1 week vacation without PTO), which is only about $300.

I still have upcoming bills I need to pay before I get my first paycheck from my new job, such as my college loan, credit cards, and payment towards my parents for my car insurance and phone plan. I only have about $100 left in my bank account as of writing this, and all those bills come up to be $300, and I still need money to buy groceries and litter/food for my cat.

I am asking for a minimum donation goal of $300, as it’ll help cover the other $300 that will be missing from my previous job’s final paycheck, and it’ll help me pay off the minimum payments for the upcoming bills, as well as purchase groceries. However, any extra money raised beyond my $300 goal would be extremely appreciated, and used to pay more towards my bills as opposed to just paying the bare minimum!

If you could help by either donating towards my GoFundMe that I’ve linked to this post, and/or if you could just reblog this post to share with your other followers, it would be extremely appreciated!!!

Thanks everyone for your time, consideration, and generosity! :33

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