RAGE ;;

RAGE ;;

[🍃] oh, someone give me the idea :) There will probably be a part two if you guys love this work, hehe

warnings:

pure angst ; fem!reader ; jason todd & mom!reader ; deaths ; Possible spelling mistakes, thanks

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You couldn't feel your arms. Your whole body felt numb.

Unlike what many said, killing someone wasn't easy; you wanted to throw up the little you had in your stomach. Your body was shaking.

Your eyes filled with tears; your head was spinning. Your hands were warm from the blood on them.

Your scrambled mind just replayed every single memory you had with Jason. Oh, your little boy. You had promised to protect him the first time Bruce brought him. He was so small, so smart, so beautiful, and so precious.

You remember his first smile. You remember his innocent yet mocking jokes. His witty responses when he responded to your grumpy husband. You remember his little hands 'fixing' your hair, but he had actually put a rose in from the vase—much to Alfred's chagrin, but he still didn't say anything and smiled amusedly.

You remember his beautiful blue eyes shining with excitement when you told him you were going to make his favorite cookies and how he would excitedly exclaim that he was going to help you.

You remember the first time he called you “Mommy” with a loving little smile, showing how he was missing one of his canines due to his baby tooth falling out.

You remember how his cheeks had started to get chubby from all the snacks you gave him and his skin had started to get less pale. He had started to look healthier.

You remember his giggles as he got ready to go out on patrol and Bruce gently scolding him not to run and to be careful.

Your little Jason…

How were you supposed to go on without him by your side? Without your little boy… How is a mother supposed to go on knowing that her son’s killer was on the loose? And her husband, the one who was supposed to have killed the madman, let him go… free.

He was free. That clown, the murderer of your little boy, was free… He escaped from where they had locked him up even though Bruce promised you that that man would never come out again.

‘Liar…’ you thought at that moment.

How was a mother supposed to go on…?

Your pain turned to rage within days. It was a rage that burned you to the bone and made your chest ache from the pressure of heavy emotions laden with deep hatred.

You remember when Bruce brought his small body, oh so small, bruised and lifeless. The heartbreaking scream that left your throat was heard and echoed throughout the cave. Heavy tears fell from your eyes as you clung to his little body and cried inconsolably.

You didn't even realize that your steps took you outside the mansion, taking advantage of your husband and Alfred taking their eyes off you. Your head covered by a heavy, long hood that made you look small. Your red, swollen eyes with dark circles were hidden under the fabric of the hood.

You didn't notice the vibration of your phone; surely they were calling you… but your mind was somewhere else, and your body was moving on its own. It was no longer you.

You didn't notice when you entered the abandoned warehouse where you saw the Joker's henchmen enter. You found it, and yet your unbalanced mind didn't notice any of that. You were just a robot that was looking to find the culprit and make him pay.

You also didn't realize what you were doing when you sneaked out and ambushed the clown from behind with your small knife.

Your pain, your fury, the injustice you felt made you commit a crime.

You killed him.

Your broken, red eyes looked at the body of the clown-dressed man lying there; your hand, still holding the small knife, began to shake. You really did it.

You killed your son's killer.

You didn't know what to do. The fear of seeing Richard's, Barbara's, Alfred's, or Bruce's face when they saw what you did, what your pain made you do. Your breathing became labored; your throat tightened painfully.

Jason… Oh, your little Jason, what would he think of you right now… Would he be scared to see what you became?

You fell to your knees as a broken sob left your broken lips. The knife was still in your shaking, bloodstained hand.

You had nothing left to live for… Your life was destroyed, in rubble. One way or another, nothing would be the same; you consoled yourself, but it was only a pathetic attempt to calm yourself down.

Silently you raised your hand to your throat, closing your eyes, remembering your little Jason. The memory of his smile made your pain lighter. At least you did justice… at least it was all over. You asked everyone for forgiveness for abandoning them too… just like Jason abandoned you.

You took a breath before bringing the small knife to your throat.

But before the knife managed to make contact with your skin and you managed to take your life, someone's body crashing into you stopped you, causing the small knife to fall from your grasp…