Good Stuff.

Harry: it was Malfoy

Ron and Hermione: The views and opinions expressed above are solely Harry’s and do not speak on behalf of us nor do they reflect in any way the views and opinions of The Golden Trio™ as a whole

Somebody said muggle youtuber AU and I just had to

The most unrealistic thing about Hogwarts is there is no overt petty drama?? There are like 5 kids per year who have to live together for SEVEN YEARS and they can do MAGIC. You can’t tell me the muffliato charm wasn’t used to talk mad shit about people. How many witches hexed their best friend’s dress robes to always be one size too small because they were fighting? And you expect me to believe that people ACTUALLY stayed in bed during curfew instead of flying through the Scottish highlands? Also the castle is designed to ruin your fucking life. Can you imagine being drunk on the moving staircases?? That’s an entire mythology of student stories in and of itself. I’m just saying, when I was in high school someone locked and duct taped a car alarm into a locker and then set it off for two hours straight and I’m 95% sure he wasn’t even a wizard

Pansy: Okay, I think I know how I can find out whether Hermione likes me or not. We’re going to a New Year’s Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! You know? But if she says “Pansy, what the hell are you doing?”, I can say “It wasn’t me, it was New Years!”

Draco: Well, that’s a lot better than Harry trying to kiss me back in Hogwarts, and saying that he did it because he needed chapstick

Harry: ...

Harry: It was a dry day

Draco no.

(Based off this post)

Repeat after me, kids: your significant other liking multiple genders does nothing to invalidate the fact that they like you best.

Harry: Didn't you hate as a child when they sent you to bed without dinner?

Ron: What? No? I always had dinner

Harry: Even when you did something wrong?

Ron: Yes...

Draco: Harry doesn't know how normal families work. His aunt and uncle even hugged their son in public! Imagine that! The embarrassment!

Ron:... Okay. You two are my sons now

“By some magic, all the flowers in London bloomed at once on the 3rd of March that year.”

(aka ‘i love helga pataki and her heart picture from hey arnold! and i had to give draco a weird harry potter love locket’)

Scared potter

So imagine Draco and harry getting together and then there’s this running joke (that harry says he hates but actually loves) of Draco saying “scared potter” at EVERY CHANCE HE HAS.

So like:

Harry opening a letter

“scared potter?”

About to tell Ron there dating

“scared potter?”

Making out in Harry’s dorm

“scared potter?”

Crossing road

“scared potter?”

About to take a shot

“scared potter?”

About to walk down a flight of stairs

“scared potter?”

About to eat a sandwich

“scared potter?”

EVERY CHANCE!

And one day Harry seems to be hesitate to say something and Draco just there like “scared potter?” Automatically

And Harry just smirks and says “yeah” and gets down on one knee.

“yeah can i get a 60k with everything on it”